RAY VAN CAMARO

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I have never been happier to take a bribe.

When Ilias had figured it out, he tried to take things into his own hands by attempting to escape to Gilead and call for help. He built a quick friendship with that Porco kid and he was always the type of person who would do the right thing.

I couldn’t blame him for trying to help out.

In fact, that’s what I like about him. He reminded me of a younger version of myself. Ilias is Trisha’s kid, but it seems like he took after my attributes.

And Jaime ended up taking hers. The two of us are basically taking care of younger versions of each other.

However, helping the people was something I couldn’t not do.

Old Man Marcel tried to kick us out of his inn, but I paid to stay for two more days. He needed the money, so he couldn’t do anything but accept my coins.

We’ll have to stay here just in case Gama comes late.

When Armstrong returned from his hunt, my unit and I took Ilias to his mansion. I had summoned fifty of my Marching Dolls to accompany us. Armstrong was shocked, at the very least, when we showed up at his mansion.

Ilias was glaring at him the entire time, making it quite obvious he didn’t like the man.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“The kid knows about this town too. I thought you should deal with him. He tried to escape and call for help.”

“Not that.” Armstrong gestured at the army of Dolls behind our backs. “Why are your summonings out?”

“They’re here just in case Ilias does something. I hate to say it, but he’s better than me in jynx. I can only summon Marching Dolls and this kid did just became a State Jynixst. The dolls are just a precaution.”

“I see. Very well. Let’s talk about this over dinner. The chefs are currently roasting the boar I killed.” He wrapped an arm around me, the faint smell of alcohol wafted from his breath. “It was heading straight for me and I stood my ground. I managed to shoot an arrow into its eye.”

Armstrong invited us into his mansion, allowing half of the dolls to guard Ilias while the others guarded the entrances.

As dinner was being prepared, the colonel gave us a tour of his grand mansion. We got straight to business yesterday so there was no time to explore this place.

Owning a home this luxurious with so many servants was something I never saw myself doing. I wasn’t going to let myself enjoy something like this until I fulfilled the promise I made myself a long time ago.

When dinner was ready, the tension between Armstrong and Ilias was thick. I tried to offer Ilias some ale, which he would usually take, but he didn’t so much as glance at it.

“Let’s get to why you’re here,” Armstrong said as the servants took away our finished plates. “I’ll give you this offer, Kid—”

“I know you tricked them into a contract,” Ilias retorted. “I don’t want any of it.”

“I see that you’re a smart kid, but not smart enough to know what’s best for you.” Armstrong fiddled with his moustache. “Reports say a kid named Porco is brewing up something against me. Opposing a person in authority has severe punishments you know?”

“What? You sly bastard! This is between us. Leave him and the townsfolk out of this!”

Armstrong swirled his cup. “I heard he’s trying to burn my mansion down with an unstable explosive that he’s hiding in his father’s tavern. It would be a shame if it were to go off.”

Ilias was smart enough to realize that he couldn’t be harmed or killed while in this town. Too many questions would arise towards the colonel. But Armstrong didn’t have to touch a single strand of hair on his head, just something he cared about.

Ilias had a bright heart and this time around, it was used against him.

“Colonel Armstrong,” I said. “Fifty gold coins. Don’t cheap out on him just because he’s a kid.”

“Don’t worry. It’s fifty gold coins no matter the race, sex, or age. I’m all about equality.”

Armstrong threw a pouch of coins in front of Ilias. The defeated kid reached for it just as the front doors to the mansion burst open.

While our table’s attention was brought to the crashing doors, I grabbed Ilias’ arm and stopped him from activating the contract.

“What is the meaning of this?” Colonel Armstrong yelled as we followed him to the stairwell overlooking the front doors.

A dwarf clad in a colonel’s armour walked into the mansion. He ignored the pistols pointed directly at his face.

“Who the hell are you?” Armstrong questioned.

“Colonel Fundin of the Western military,” the dwarf answered.

“What is a western colonel doing here?”

“Is this the wrong town, Colonel?” Fundin took off his helm to see more clearly. “I was told I would become colonel regent and hold temporary jurisdiction of Rockbell.”

“This is Rockbell, but what you say is nonsense. I never said such a thing.”

“Not you, Colonel Armstrong,” I said. “I told him—Colonel Camaro.”

The Marching Dolls that had littered the mansion suddenly took Armstrong’s soldiers captive, pressing their blades to their necks and causing them to drop their pistols.

“Now, John,” I said, squeezing Armstrong’s shoulders until he started wincing. “Go ahead and release the contract you made with my men.”

Armstrong spat before speaking boldly. “I hereby end the contract I have with Kaiser, Hendrik, and Rudolf.”

Nothing physically changed about my unit, but I could tell just by the way they looked at me that they were back to normal.

Gama joined the dwarf colonel’s side. His skin was pale and he had dark rings under his eyes.

“Private!” I said to him. “I’m glad you made it in time.”

Gama waved a hand. “Yeah. No need to thank me.”

Dozens of Gilead soldiers marched through the mansion doors and began rounding up Rockbell soldiers outside.

“Camaro! You took that pouch!” Armstrong cried. “How are you defying my orders?”

“Oh, let me show you,” I began to explain. “You see, I did take a pouch. But I didn’t take the one you offered me. While you were distracted, I partially summoned one of my Doll’s arms and had them switch the pouches while you weren’t looking. The pouch I grabbed was the one Officer Kaiser had already taken.”

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

“That’s impossible! I was looking at you the entire time!”

“Were you?” I raised a glass at the weasel-looking man to clue him into how he got distracted. “Grabbing a pouch activates a contract. But I grabbed a pouch that had already been taken which meant it was cleansed from the contract you put on it. I’m a State Jynxist after all. Do you really think I would fall for a trick this simple?”

“B-but what about the letter?” Ilias questioned. “We captured the carrier pigeon, so why did you have to let that message out?”

“I didn’t know if Armstrong’s men were spying on me, so I made sure to set that message free so John would believe I was under his contract.”

“But the letter instructed Gama not to follow through with the plan.”

“You read the lines I wrote, Kid. But you didn’t read between them.”

Ilias adorably tilted his head. “Code?”

“Hehehe.” I turned to the newly arrived soldiers. “Do any of you have the letter?”

Colonel Fundin climbed the steps and produced it. “I brought it with me for safekeeping.”

“Let me show you all the true message I sent.”

I took a quill that was sitting nearby and underlined the hidden text before showing it to Ilias and Armstrong.

Colonel in charge of taking care of Gilead,

Ignore everything that Private Gama will tell you and heed this message instead. This letter is to inform you that everything here in Rockbell is being taken care of and military personnel from the Northern region are on their way to deal with this whole mess. Gama’s been a loyal soldier and I promised him a bonus, so please treat him at the tavern and I will pay back the cost. Plans for the party celebrating Ilias’ promotion to becoming a State Jynxist are with Lieutenant Doria—so please ask her to start getting ready for that as we will be home soon. Should there be any problems involving cost, please tell her it would be no problem. Proceed as soon as possible as we will be home very soon.

Thanks, Colonel Ray Van Camaro

Ilias began laughing hysterically.

“Colonel, ignore this. Gama’s plans should proceed. Thanks,” he read, snickering. “Putting together the first word of every sentence spells out the hidden message.”

“But how did they know to do that?” Armstrong asked.

“I hand-select my unit because we work well together. Something like this doesn’t come close to the way we read each other’s minds.”

Kaiser cracked his knuckles. “Colonel Camaro, this man deserves a punch from each of us for forcing us into a contract.”

“I agree. But just one punch in the gut, so make it count.”

Kaiser, Rudolf, and Hendrik each warmed up before they took swings at Armstrong’s gut. By the end of it, the colonel was curled up crying on the floor.

“I’ll make a deal with you, Armstrong,” I said. “Hand over the deed to the mines and I’ll let Ilias heal you. I’d like to mention, his mother is a renowned doctor and is an expert in healing jynx.”

Armstrong groaned. “There’s a painting in my office. The deed is in a safe behind it. Bring me ink and quill and I’ll sign the rights to you.”

Our party left Colonel Fundin to settle into his new temporary role. He went around town putting soldiers loyal to Armstrong behind bars while hand-picking Rockbell citizens to act as guards.

We found Old Man Marcel at the tavern across from his inn discussing the higher taxes they’d be paying. Porco was in the corner staring at the ceiling.

“Look at what we have,” I said, showing the deed.

“That’s the deed to the mines,” Old Man Marcel said. “How did you get that?”

The tavern of about twenty patrons broke into silence while shooting us with dirty looks.

“I made a deal with Armstrong for it. This makes me the legal owner of the mines… and your boss.”

“Why you—”

“However, Gilead is my home and I can’t stay here,” I told them coughing. “Especially with all the coal dust burning my lungs.”

“Are you implying that you’re offering us to buy it off of you?”

“There’s a smart man.”

Old Man Marcel spat into a spittoon. “What’s your bargain?”

“Oooh, that’s the thing. This deed is very expensive. The parchment is printed on high-quality paper and whoever has this has rights to the mines.”

“Get on with it. How much do you want?”

“I’m telling you. It’ll be very expensive.”

“Just tell us.”

“We still want to stay in the inns for the two days we booked, but a refund would be nice. We also want three warm meals provided for by this tavern.”

“And snacks,” Ilias and Rudolf whispered.

“Along with snacks.”

“And unlimited alcohol every time we come here,” Private Gama said, wobbling as if he was about to pass out.

Poor guy must be exhausted.

“You heard what the private said.”

“I see. That is very expensive,” Old Man Marcel laughed. “Very well. It’s a deal.”

We shook on it.

After signing off the rights to the mines, one of the townsfolk ran into the tavern bringing news that Colonel Armstrong was no longer in charge.

Soon, the entire town had gathered at the tavern to hear how we took down Armstrong. It didn’t take long for this gathering to turn into a party as Rockbell realized I had liberated them.

I was quick to correct that I didn’t liberate them. I simply did what a colonel would and looked after this town’s people.

With this much celebration, I couldn’t help but have a couple of drinks. My unit, however, wasn’t about to let this party go to waste. Even Gama, who was clearly exhausted from riding to Gilead and back without rest seemed to have gained a burst of energy just to drink.

Ilias, in his drunken state, was more in control this time around. He disappeared after a while, but he and Porco were found behind the tavern surrounded by puddles of vomit. Both of them were barely conscious, giggling as they rolled on the ground.

We came to this town to avoid a party, but it seems that word follows us everywhere we go.

The next day, the entire town was pretty much hungover and it was declared a day of resting. I expected this would happen which was why I asked to stay for two more days.

While everyone was resting in their homes, I spent the day helping Colonel Fundin get Rockbell back on its feet, giving the dwarf advice on how to run a settlement. Old Man Marcel accompanied us to give a tour of the run-down town.

The day after the great rest, we headed off.

Me, Ilias, Gama, Kaiser, Hendrik, Rudolf, and Armstrong himself.

I wanted to keep an eye on Armstrong myself. He had friends that would fight for him and the Rockbell townsfolk might try to lynch him, so I had to get him as far away from here as possible—for his and our safety.

“Colonel, how come you didn’t tell me that you didn’t accept the contract?” Ilias asked. “Did you not trust me?”

“I never doubted your trust.” I patted his shoulder. “What I did doubt was your acting skills. I knew how you’d react if I pretended I was under Armstrong’s control and I thought you showing your real emotions would work better for the plan. Sorry if it comes off like I was using you—which, to be fair, I was. Besides, I’ve never seen you angry before. I wanted to see that. You look adorable when your eyebrows pull together.”

His face subtly reddened. “I see. Sorry for doubting you. I just didn’t think you were the type of person to stoop that low.”

“I’m not. But if I ever was, be a good lad and pull me back up.”

Ilias nodded. “By the way, can I have my wand and Talking Book back?”

I forgot that I made him transfer its ownership to me.

When it was time for us to ready the horses, Gama and Kaiser had to lift Armstrong onto one since his feet and hands were bound in chains.

“You’re pretty heavy for a weasel, Colonel,” Gama said.

“I don’t look like a weasel!” Armstrong cried.

“Hey, don’t call him that,” I ordered. “He’s not going to be a colonel soon, so calling him one doesn’t make sense, right John?”

He shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Quick question, John, what’s your tarot card?” Gama asked. “Listening to it might’ve foreshadowed your role.”

“The Fool.”

“The Fool.” Gama laughed as he climbed onto his steed. “That certainly fits you.”

This caused the rest of the unit to laugh at John’s expense.

Ilias was the only one who wasn’t here yet, as we gave him permission to say goodbye to Porco. Once that was done, he elegantly climbed his pony and put on his hat.

“Are you all ready?” I had Tank lead the party back onto the road. “If so, let’s go home.”