RAY VAN CAMARO
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About two hours after the public announcement from Colonel Armstrong, one of his soldiers visited us at the inn. The sudden visit during the evening caught us off guard, even if it was just an invitation from Armstrong asking us to join him for dinner in his mansion.
“Colonel Camaro, we’re glad to have you back here again,” the soldier, Private Willhelm, asked after gathering us into the lobby. “Just one question, when did you arrive?”
“An hour or so ago. Let’s say I miscalculated travel time.”
Kaiser leaned back on his chair, his giant body causing it to creak. “I told him we should’ve just stayed at Foghorn. He insisted we keep moving.”
“Either way, we’re glad to have you back,” Private Willhelm said. “There are only five of you this time around. How come?”
“We were with adventurers last time. Our paths split a while ago.”
Willhelm inspected the sign-in book. “Camaro, Hendrik, Rudolf, Kaiser. That’s four. Where’s Payne?”
“In the privy.”
The soldier went to the privy down the hall and opened the door. Ilias was sitting on the toilet with his pants around his ankles, reading from his Talking Book.
He used his book to cover his crotch. “Uh… may I help you?”
“Just checking in. Don’t mind me.” Willhelm closed the door. “Sorry about that.”
“So, we’re all invited for dinner?” I asked.
“Yes. Colonel Armstrong rarely gets visits from the military and he’s happy to have your company this time around.”
“What time will dinner be?”
“In about an hour and a half. The mansion is just outside of the town near the lake. You’ll see lights; just follow them. Now excuse me.”
The soldier left the inn, but not without examining the horses in the stables. He took a great interest in Tank before getting on his own steed and leaving the property.
I knocked on the privy door. “He’s gone. You two can come out now.”
Ilias pulled his pants back up, unsummoning Talking Book.
Private Gama’s head slowly rose from the hole in the seat that Ilias had been sitting on. His eyes burned with anger. “If you speak about this to anyone, I’ll rip your arms off!” he promised.
Gama began to climb out and slapped my hand when I tried to help him out. Ilias ended up having to levitate his naked body out of the toilet. He was covered in excrement—the smell coming off of him was putrid.
Old Man Marcel didn’t allow Gama to go straight to the bathhouse so he had to be sprayed down by Ilias just behind the tavern while a group of ladies watched. The private’s face blushed a crimson red.
Once Gama got dressed, I explained his mission: “You’re the fastest rider here so I need you to ride ahead to Gilead and inform the colonel regent of the situation here. Tell him to come here with twenty of our soldiers and leave Doria in charge. Then tell her to write to General Clegane on my behalf to send another colonel regent to Gilead along with the most men he can spare. If things play into our hands, this will be taken to court and I’ll have to show up in the Capital. Gilead is a two-day ride, but since you’re by yourself and if you don’t let your horse rest, you’ll be there by dawn tomorrow You and reinforcements should be back by the evening. If I send out a letter, follow the letter’s orders as the situation here may change.”
“I better get a raise for hiding in that toilet for ten stinkin’ minutes!”
“I’ll give you a bonus.”
Ilias had the smallest bag, which he lent to Gama for his hasty mission. It was filled with dried rations and water.
“If they notice one of our horses missing, they’ll be suspicious,” I said while undressing. “Take Tank and head to Foghorn and rent out their fastest horse.”
“Do I just leave Tank there?”
“Absolutely not. Leave him just outside of the town. He knows my scent and he’ll come back here. If you do that, he’ll be back an hour or two before midnight.”
“Won’t they be suspicious that Tank’s gone?” Hendrik asked.
“Chances are they haven’t seen an armoured lizard before. I’ll just tell them that Tank doesn’t like to be kept in pens and enjoys scouting the area to scare off any predators.”
Ilias used the cover of darkness to drop off my used clothes just outside of town. When he returned, he opened the stable gates and let Tank escape. I was in the bathhouse while this was happening, masking my scent to make sure Tank didn’t follow it back here.
We wished Private Gama the best of luck before he snuck off into the night to rendezvous with the armoured lizard.
“You’re summoning your own soldiers to help our town out. This is good,” Old Man Marcel stated. “And you say that you know General Clegane personally?”
“I was friends with his grandson when we were kids. He thinks of me as his own grandchild.”
“You’re certainly the first to take this many precautions to help us. Most would just say they’ll help and that’s that.”
“A person like Armstrong who’s in jurisdiction of a settlement should be helping the people, not taking advantage of them. I can’t sit by and let someone that calls themselves colonel do something like this.”
“I hope you’re not like all the other ones.”
Kaiser, Hendrik, Rudolf, and I changed into the nicest clothes we had in our luggage and made our way to the mansion beside the lake. Ilias insisted on waiting for Tank so we made up a story saying he went to bed early exhausted.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
The four of us were greeted by Willhelm just outside of Armstrong’s property while additional soldiers took our horses to the stables.
“Where’s your armoured lizard?” Willhelm asked.
“He likes to explore the area and protect his herd from predators. We let him out of his enclosure to roam the forest. Either that or we keep him in the stables which he’ll end up destroying.” I smoothened out my clothes. “I don’t want to pay for repairs.”
“Aren’t you afraid of your armoured lizard getting hurt or killed?”
“This area isn’t too dangerous. A pack of wolves and even a bear is something he can easily deal with.”
Willhelm led us upstairs to the dining room where Colonel Armstrong was. He sat at the end of a long table sipping a glass of red wine.
The dining table was lit with wax candles atop holders with intricately smooth designs. The way the candles lit the food on the table made the scene look like a painting.
“There are only four?” Armstrong pointed out. “Where’s the kid?”
“He ate at a tavern and he’s currently sleeping at the inn. The day’s journey had him worn out.”
“I see. Please sit and enjoy the meal.”
The way Armstrong smiled at us while we ate was unsettling. There was a gleam in his eyes that I’d seen countless times before.
He thinks he’s untouchable.
One of his servers sliced a piece of juicy steak for me while another scooped mashed potatoes on my plate.
“I’m not used to having others do so much for me,” I said, pouring gravy on my mashed potatoes.
Armstrong twirled his moustache and the flickering made him look slimy. “You should hire one or two servants. These people are so helpful.”
I bit into the steak. For a second, the flavour made me forget why we were here.
“How strange,” I swallowed. “This is such good food compared to the meal they offered us at the inn. It doesn’t strike me as food a colonel in charge of a struggling town would have.”
“It’s embarrassing to say this, but I’m having such trouble with my people. They demand raises and complain that the taxes are too high. I’m the one who pays them and protects this town yet they are unable to show any gratitude.” Armstrong took another sip. “If you had come a little earlier, you would’ve seen how these barbarians reacted when I told them I needed to collect taxes.”
“I’ve had my own share of trouble running my own village.”
“Gilead, right? What’s your main source of export again?”
“Our village is surrounded by open fields with nutrient-rich soil. We grow all kinds of things like wheat and vegetables. There’s even an area in the village dedicated to growing trees that bear fruit.”
“Produce. You must make a good amount of profit. Not everyone needs coal, but everyone must always eat food.”
“We only make a profit during harvests and there are no guarantees that they will have a great yield,” I corrected.
Armstrong studied me. “I’m sure I asked this question the last time you were here, but you must forgive me if I don’t remember—I was drunk at the time. What brings you to Rockbell? This town isn’t really known for its tourism.”
“Last time, we were on our way to the Capital. Now, we are on our way from it. We were there to hand in this year’s reports.”
“I see. I just mail mine.”
I shot a look at the corporal. “I usually send Rudolf to submit it by hand. This time, I just wanted to leave the village. So much stress was relieved when we left.”
“I would love to take a vacation,” Armstrong said. “However, I know this place will fall into chaos if I do. But why specifically here? There are better towns nearby and you’ve already visited last time.”
“My party has a habit of getting drunk with other adventurers. This place doesn’t seem to get many tourists, so I thought it would be a good place to avoid something like that.”
“A valid reason.” Armstrong put his wine down, summoning soldiers behind him. There were about fifteen. “Enough with these amateur affairs. Have the people told you anything?”
My unit was about to retract, reaching for their hidden pistols within their boots and the cutlery on the table. They were ready to fight, but I raised a hand ordering them to let me do the talking.
“It looks like you’ve seen through us,” I responded. “I’ll be honest. They told me everything. They were rather desperate to get help and as someone who makes sure the village they hold jurisdiction of is safe and protected, what you’re doing is truly something hideous.”
“Do you think we can bargain a deal? I’ll give you money in exchange for your silence.”
“That’s not a deal,” I spat. “It’s a bribe.”
“Synonyms have always been tricky words. Two words can have the same definition but utter completely different meanings.”
Armstrong signalled his men to present us each a pouch filled with fifty gold coins.
Fifty gold coins was a lot of money—enough for a commoner to live off of for two years. Money like this was something we could use.
As long as we still report him, I don’t see a problem with taking the bribe.
My unit shot looks at me, basing their reactions off of mine. I nodded, and without so much as a reaction, they understood my order.
Corporal Rudolf grabbed the pouch in front of him and stuffed it in his pockets. “Let’s call this a trade.”
Armstrong grinned. “I’m glad that you understand logic.”
Sergeant Hendrik took the one that was offered to him. “For silence? I’m willing to give you that in exchange for fifty gold coins.”
“Excellent.”
Officer Kaiser shot another worried look at me before grabbing his pouch. “This is a year’s worth of salary.” He threw it in the air a couple of times before placing it in front of him and continuing to eat his food.
“I’m glad you are all using your heads.”
“If I were to say money can’t buy anything, I’d be lying,” I called to a servant by snapping my fingers and pointing at my empty glass. “Can I have more wine?”
Armstrong grabbed the bottle from her and poured me a glass himself. “What’s the verdict?”
I grabbed the pouch and put it in my pocket. “I can’t turn down free money like this.”
Armstrong guffawed. “Colonel Camaro, I thought you were a State Jynxist? How could you ever fall for a trick as simple as that?”
“What trick?”
I snapped four times, summoning Marching Dolls by my side. The Rockbell soldiers pulled out their pistols and took aim at my unit.
“A contract is when two or more parties have an agreement.” Armstrong raised his hand to prevent his men from firing. “The agreement was that you’d keep silent in exchange for gold coins. A contract was placed the moment you took the bribe. Now, you will do everything in your power to conceal this place and its secrets.”
“Ridiculous. I’ll report your… Your… Your?” I scratched my head, unsummoning my Marching Dolls. “What?!” I threw back the pouch on the table. “I don’t want it.”
“Well, it’s yours. It’s me who has to lift the contract and I do not yield.”
Everything made sense. The adventurers who passed through didn’t all of a sudden lose a heart and ignore the townsfolks' pleas for help—they were tricked into doing it.
So this was the reason why no one has kept their promise? The contract makes anyone who takes Armstrong’s bribe protect his secret.
“Sometimes, the simplest tricks are the best,” the colonel said. “You’re military men and you could’ve just walked out. We would’ve been powerless to stop you. But it’s human nature to be greedy and yours got the best of you.”
Gama still knows and he’ll be coming back tomorrow with reinforcements. That’s why we kept him hidden and sent him away in the first place.
“By the way, I know one of your men snuck out of town to bring reinforcements from Gilead. I know he’ll follow your orders no matter what.” Armstrong placed a writing slope that carried an ink and quill in front of me. “I need you to write a letter to him.”