ILIAS PAYNE
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The remaining forty-two of us participants marched through the portal and found ourselves inside a lecture hall. The room was fairly large with blank ceilings and walls. All the light came from the giant windows on the left side of the room. There were about fifty proctors in total sitting in chairs against the walls. Each of them held a clip and quill, studying us.
There were forty-two desks in the hall. Each desk had about four feet of space around them. We were assigned seats and it didn’t take a genius to figure out we were organized alphabetically by last names.
On each participant’s desk was a writing slope with a piece of paper, ink, and quill. The piece of paper clearly had writing on it, but we were instructed by Leroy not to turn them over before the test started.
Don’t tell me the test is an actual written test.
Erina sat erect with her fingers interlocked on her desk. Thaddeus, in his drunken state, was sleeping face-first on his desk. Roswaal was doing tricks with a gold coin. Chris kept spinning around in her seat, trying to keep herself from growing bored. Zwergin had his eyes closed and seemed as if he was meditating. Asher was in a conversation with the other participants near him.
I had been staring at the front of the room the entire time when Ivan suddenly appeared. No poof nor portal. He just… appeared.
My thought formulated on my tongue: “How did you do that?”
The other participants glanced at me weirdly before turning their attention to the main proctor I was staring at.
“This?” Ivan asked before sucking in air and disappearing. He was gone for a couple of seconds before he appeared again, exhaling. “I’m a chameleon.”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Chris pointed out. “I’ve met other chameleon-folk. They couldn’t turn invisible.“
“You’re right, I can’t do this naturally. It’s an alchemy ability I developed and named Invisible Man. It lets me become invisible whenever I hold my breath.”
“Could you have always done that?”
“Of course. I’ve been using it to spy on all of you in Base Zero—to make sure you’re following the rules.”
Thaddeus jerked up in a confused and drunken daze. “This is not where I lose, Roswaal! You will owe me a gold coin by the end of this!” He looked around. “What’s happening?”
Ivan gave him a sly smile. “I’m glad you asked. In just a moment, this written test will begin, but I will take a moment to explain the rules.”
It is a written test!
“These rules must be followed to move on to the final phase. In front of you is a piece of paper with five questions. All of your papers are identical. You are not allowed to turn it over until I say so. Each of you will start off with five points. You will lose a point for every wrong question you answer. To pass, you must have five points.”
Leroy was writing down the instructions on a board behind Ivan.
“Cheating, of course, is not allowed. You may not talk, copy, share answers, or use jynx. The proctors stationed around the room are sentinels whose only jobs are to watch you. If you are caught cheating three times, you will be disqualified. The time limit for the written test is an hour. Any questions?”
The room was quiet.
“Show us how a jynxist thinks. You may begin!”
Sixty minutes.
In synchrony, the entire room turned over their papers. Our heads repeatedly moved left to right as we read over the questions.
1. Pretend you are a blind man alone on an island. You have two red pills and two blue pills. You must take one blue and red pill a day. Failing to do so or consuming more than one of the same coloured pills will cause your death. What do you do to ensure your survival?
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2. Flying against a wind speed of forty kilometres an hour, what is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
3. You are an owner of an inn with infinite rooms and only one guest is allowed per room. You have an infinite amount of guests which makes your inn full. An unexpected gleeman shows up in the middle of the night and demands a room. Without turning him away, how do you give the gleeman a room?
4. An evil villain has captured your mother and lover and you can only save one. Who will you save?
5. There is an island under the rule of a dictator. There is only one exit to the island that is guarded. The guard will let anyone with green eyes leave. All one hundred citizens of the island have green eyes but don’t know their own eye colour. There are no reflective surfaces and the citizens are not allowed to talk. You visit the island and the dictator allows you to make one announcement to the citizens, but you are not allowed to give them new information. What statement do you make to give the citizens the information to leave?
What are these questions?
The room was in dazed confusion. The majority of us made eye contact, realizing that the questions were real and not a trick.
When we found out the test was written, most of us assumed they were general questions a jynxist would know. However, the questions were way too difficult to answer for a normal person. You’d have to be a scholar to get even at least two questions correct.
The only other option was to cheat. But proctors on the sides were sentinels watching our every move. Their presence alone was enough to stop a person from even having the thought of cheating.
Besides, if none of us knows any of the answers, cheating is just a dead end.
Amidst the room’s silent confusion, there was a meek sound of quills striking paper. The sound was spaced out, but by their stroking speed, it sounded like they knew the answers.
I reviewed the questions again and tried to think of answers for each one, but I couldn’t.
“Participant 61! Leave the room,” Ivan ordered, his eyes moving independently from each other. “You’ve been eliminated.”
Participant 61 smacked her writing slope, spilling the ink on the floor to create a reflective black puddle.
She got caught cheating, didn’t she?
But who wouldn’t? The questions were impossible to answer and the rule that you’d only get eliminated after you got caught cheating three times was practically inviting people to cheat. I would’ve attempted too, but there was no point if there was no one to cheat off of.
“‘Tis a bathroom break!” Thaddeus announced as he got up from his chair and exited the room. “Where is the privy around here? I need to relieve myself.”
Leroy shook his head in annoyance and followed him out.
Erina stared back at me in shock.
I shrugged at her as if saying. “I don’t even know.”
The entire room was silent, shooting looks at each other and watching the elf proctor catch up to my idiot friend.
“He hasn’t been eliminated,” Ivan said. “He hasn’t broken any rules and simply went to relieve himself.”
Roswaal raised a hand. “May I go relieve myself too?”
“You may, but after he gets back.”
The entire room was quiet again, focused on our individual tests.
Zwergin was in front and to the right of me. He’d been slouched with his hands behind his neck this entire time. He shot a look at Chris—who was two seats to the left of him. The cat woman had her eyes closed as if she were in a trance. Even without her vision, she stroked her quill, writing answers.
“Participant number 275. You’ve been eliminated. Please leave.”
When Chris opened her eyes, she turned her head at the sentinels with a cautious look before cheering to herself and propping her feet on her desk.
Did she figure out the answers?
Zwergin held an open palm out, chanting words before a bird formed on his hand, tweeting. Upon the noise, he crushed it, playing it off as if it was his chair that made the sound. He sighed, staring at Chris before his eyes turned opaque and rolled backwards.
Zwergin’s a warg?
Chris groaned as if she was having a headache. She massaged her temples with her fingers.
“Participant 131. You’ve been disqualified. Please leave.”
The badge number attached to Zwergin’s suit read 131.
The dwarf’s eyes returned to normal, his mouth dropping. “But—”
“We told you, getting caught cheating three times is an instant fail. You summoned a bird. That’s once. You realized the bird will make noises and decided to crush it with arcane magic. Twice. Just then you used an ability I know you’d rather me not say out loud. That’s three. Please leave the room or we will have to do it by force.”
Zwergin stared at Ivan, who simply continued to observe the room with his independent eyes.
The dwarf chuckled at himself and made his way out of the lecture hall. “If any of the lads I’ve spent the last two weeks with want to hang out after this, I’ll be at Ogre Inn. I’ll want to hear how the rest of this exam went.”
And just like that, Zwergin had been eliminated.
If you get caught cheating once, it should prompt an instant fail. But the rules, and the fact that these questions were impossibly hard to answer, were encouraging us to cheat.