I dunno, do you prefer If the POV is in past tense or present? I tried to do this one in past.
Full Pr credits to Bitter. Thanks for doing this. If you want to Pr any more chapters, I will send them to you before publishing it by PM, by the way.
Chapter 1:
"I'm only just waking up and I already have a huge headache? Just my luck." Before I started cursing aloud I realized that there is a woman standing in front of me, she's looking disinterestedly at me. Behind her there is a psychedelic and colorful background wavering. Strangely I don't feel nervous, just a bit curious.
Me: "Are you god?".
The woman: “Yes, I am a god”.
Me: “Are you going to judge my sins to decide if I will be going to heaven or hell?”.
Goddess: “What the hell are you saying, brat? Do I look like a god of death to you?”.
Suddenly, I feel a strong pressure that feels as though it's trying to squish me as flat as a pancake.
Though I'm nervous I try to answer to answer her “N-no, no, I-I was just…”.
Goddess: “Shut up”.
Me: “Yes, ma’am”.
Goddess: “I can see that you’re eager to know what’s happening. So, I, in my infinite generosity, will explain your situation to you”.
“First off, you are dead”.
Silence.
Me: “So what?”
Goddess: “Impudent brat! Are you not going to scream something like: ‘No, it’s not true!’, or ‘I don’t deserve this!’ and then sink into despair? Such a waste”.
Goddess: “Well, resuming. Because of some stuff that a mere mortal doesn’t deserve to know, we are in dire need of souls for the world of Westfalia (Author's note: The name is susceptible to be changed, as well as any other name. I’m terrible at naming). So, instead of harvesting souls from there, I decided to catch some from Earth, But it seems that it’s just as difficult”.
I suppose that you don’t know, but as a scientist I have developed quite an analytical mind, but i am sadly lacking in social skills; I’m not exactly an emotionally sensitive person. In summary, I am cool headed. So while I was reflecting on what she had said, I realized something.
Me: “You're telling me, you came to Earth just because you're lazy?”
Goddess: “Uhm, I won’t deny it.”
Me: ”…I’m speechless”
Goddess: “We are getting off track here. As I was saying, you will be reborn. If you want I can erase your memories before proceeding with the rebirth cycle”
Me: ”No, thanks”.
Goddess: “You sure? It would be quite troublesome if your parents were to discover that you are a 50 year old in a child's body. You know?”.
Me: “I’ll survive. Before sending me off though, can you do me a favor?.
Goddess: “Fool, who do you think you are?!”. Her voice made the ground tremble.
In an impassive tone I replied "I'm the person you deprived eternal rest to and now I have to be reincarnated just because of your laziness".
Goddess: “Ugh...”
Me: "Ok, so will you answer my questions now?"
Goddess: “I will only answer 3 of your questions”.
Me: “My first question is, What do I have to do to make you mine?”
Goddess: “WHAT?!”
Me: “Just kidding, just kidding. I was just trying to break the ice."
Goddess: “Who do you think…"
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Me: “Calm down, please” I interrupted “Now, then my first question. For real this time. What is dark energy?”
The goddess looks at me stupidly while scratching her head and says “The what?”
Me: “Dark energy”.
Goddess: “I have no idea what you're talking about”
Me: “What do you mean by that?”
Goddess: “I mean…”
Angrily I start shouting at her “What the fuck do you mean by that!? Aren’t you a goddess? You should know, right! Are you not ashamed of your own ignorance!! Ask for forgiveness from all of creation because of YOUR STUPIDITY!!!”
The goddess took a step back and her expression could only be described as flabbergasted. She blushed, ashamed. However, she suddenly lit up, and said: “I know someone who should know what you are talking about! Come with me!”
Me: “O-okayyyyyyyyyy” I shouted while everything around me started spinning.
My landing could not in any way be defined as gentle, but as I was struggling to stand up I couldn't help but feel that the comments I soon heard about me were harsh enough to make me feel that my landing was gentle compared to the harshness of their comments.
“How ungraceful”
“It is so distasteful to the point of becoming pitiful”
“Is it really necessary? Such ugliness?”
I started looking around me only to find more peerless beauties and handsome men. They were sitting in a council-like manner.
The original goddess from before: “Hey, Horus, this human has a question for you”
Turning his head Horus looked at me as though askingly.
Me: “What is dark energy?”
Horus: “What do you know of it?”
Me: “It is the cause of the accelerated inflation of the universe, following the cosmologic...”
(Author's note: The rest of the conversation has been omitted because this is not a class of theoretical mechanics).
Me: “Ohh, so, mana is the energy that caused the inflation of the universe and we couldn’t detect it because we couldn’t sense mana? I now understand”.
Goddess: “I didn’t understand any of that crap” She said happily "Oh well, anyways what is your second question?”
Me: “How can I get a cheat-like magic, or find someone who can teach me such a magic?”
Goddess: “That is not a fair question!” she said while pouting.
Raising one of my eyebrows questioningly her response was a grumbling noise while avoiding my question.
Me: “And finally, my last question: How can I get in contact with the gods?”
Goddess: “That is not something you need to know!”
Me: “You promised that you would answer my questions. Is the word of a god so cheap?”
Horus: “Easy tiger. The method is cultivating the godly arts, and it's possible to contact us using a high-level oracle”.
Goddess: “There, now you have your answers. Now, be reborn!”
Suddenly enveloped in pure light I become drowsy and lose consciousness.
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Thanks to everybody for your unexpected posts (never thought anybody would write something)! I’ll try to improve to not betray your hopes!
I know it is again short, but it is already 2:32 am