They were in class when it happened. He had his hand on her thigh, and she laid on his shoulder, whispering random words into his ear after he expressed interest in ASMR. “Table…. Floor… Ms Lee… she looks like her son said the F word this morning and she’s trying to keep it together…” The teacher turned around, and her expression fit her description scarily well, which caused the two to burst into laughter. “Any tingly feeling yet?”
“A little. I could fall asleep to this.”
“Well I could call you tonight and whisper until you sleep, or something…”
“I can’t tonight. My cousin is having a birthday party at his place. It would definitely last all night. And if my parents catch me talking to you, they’d kill me.”
“But I get depressed at night!” She shook his arm.
“I know, I know, but not tonight Candy… sorry.” He transformed her last name into a cute nickname.
“You always do this.” She crossed her arms and turned away.
“What?”
“Every time I need you, you say you have something going on and blow me off.”
“What do you mean every time? We have been calling until midnight all week! Come on, don’t be unreasonable.”
“Unreasonable?” She raised her voice, catching the attention of the teacher. She apologised and kept silent until the teacher resumed her lecture. “So it’s all my fault huh? Fine.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Oh, how sweet and loyal.”
“I am loyal! I just have something going on, come on! I’ll call you tomorrow night, and the next night, and the next, forever and ever okay? Just not tonight.”
“Yeah well what if tonight I get super depressed? You won’t be there. I’m on my period and periods make me emotional, you know?”
“You get super depressed every night.”
“What is that supposed to mean!” She raised her voice again.
“Oh my god…” He covered his face with his hands. “We need to talk.” He dragged her out of the class. The teacher watched with her mouth agape and arms at her hip. “Where are you two going-” She cautioned. “I am briefing the class about the upcoming project! Sit back down!” The two paid no attention to her.
“I can’t do this anymore Candy!” He exclaimed. “You- you ask too much of me, I can’t deal with this. We’re breaking up.”
“Wha-” Her face dropped. “No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no wait, wait, wait!” She grabbed his arm. “Wait. What are you doing?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why now all of a-”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a week now. I just don’t know how to tell you.”
“And you tell it to me like this? You dare leave me? Fine, then I guess I’ll just go kill myself tonight then.”
He sighed, stuck in a rock and a hard place. “Come on, don’t talk like that.”
“I mean, the only one person I have in this world has left me, so I guess I have nothing left to live for. I live on the seventh floor, it would be a pretty long drop.”
“Stop it, Honey! We both know you’re not gonna kill yourself.”
“Oh, you’re confident huh? You wanna try me?”
“Stop it!”
“You’re really breaking up with me? Even after you cheated on me!” She shrieked.
“Keep your voice down, and what are you even talking about? Why would you think I’m cheating on you?”
“I don’t know, you tell me.”
He scratched his head. “I genuinely have no clue what the hell you’re talking about.”
“I stayed with you even after you cheated on me!” She shouted, “But oh once I’m a little too annoying, you just leave huh?”
“A little? I have lost sleep for months on end having to hear you cry every night! A little annoying? God, I wish you were only a little annoying! We’re done!”
“Don’t you dare!” She shouted at him as he left to no avail, and made a quick trip to the toilet to compose herself before returning to class.
**
During their five-minute break, Honey told Sonia the tale of her heartbreak, leaving out the detail where she bawled her eyes out in the wee hours. She could hear echoes of Sam’s groaning from outside the toilet as he desperately tried to fix a technical malfunction. And in spite of the stall door blocking her view, she could make out every look of judgement Sonia had on the other side; arms crossed with a mocking smirk.
“So? Are you done judging me yet?” She exclaimed.
“If you knew I was going to do that, why did you even tell me in the first place?”
“You asked me to tell you.”
“Mm… no I didn’t.”
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“Oh my god, forget it, I don’t even know why I try sometimes.” She flushed the toilet.
“Me neither. Nothing I say will go in anyway.”
“What do you mean!” She stepped out, revolted at the sight of her sitting by the sinks with zero care for hygiene. She groaned, having nothing left to say to her stubborn companion. She slammed the tap down and washed her hands hastily.
“You’re over-acting the character.”
“Huh?”
“Think of her motivation, would she really be crying that much? Wouldn’t she be too tired to cry at that point? She’s a ghost, meaning she would be sad about this for a long long time now.”
“Are you seriously giving me notes right now?” Her eyes watered.
“I’ll be up studying all night.”
“So?” She stormed out and they resumed production.
After they finished shooting, Honey made her way to the library with Sonia to print out the flyers. Sam gave the girls a budget of ten-dollars, which under the library’s discounted prices, equated to around a hundred copies. Sonia couldn’t shut up about how terribly designed the flyers were, stating that the colour palette caused her eyes to bleed.
Honey listened to none of it, preoccupied with her breakup still. Her ex got called away by a teacher after her shrieks, and everyone eyed her differently ever since. Even her group of friends had cut her out, adding salt to injury. She lost everything.
“Hello? Are you there?” Sonia clapped her hands. “Take half of it.” She dropped a stack of flyers onto her hands. They weighed surprisingly much.
“We can’t just put them up like Sam wanted us to, so we can only give it out to people. I’m gonna take the front gate, you cover the back gate.”
“Ok…” She wished to pass the flyers out with Sonia, finding the task unbearably shameful.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.”
“They were all terrible influences. It’s good you cut ties with them. Stop thinking about it..”
“No they weren’t!”
“Whatever, forget it. And remember to rehearse your lines.”
They moved to the respective gates and began passing the flyers out with little success. Most simply ignored them, dismissing them with a hand or a polite apology. Under the guise of her emotions, each rejection only solidified the losses she incurred as permanent. Everyone glared at her with curled lips, physically avoiding her in hastening pace. She developed telepathy, hearing every evil rumour they believed about her, and all the vile thoughts they had, and by the fifth flyer these thoughts got the best of her, and she ran to Sonia in retreat.
Sonia had given out almost half of her flyers when she returned. How? “What are you doing here? Finish the pile, and how have you only given out five?”
“What is that supposed to mean!”
“Go back to the back-gate and give out the rest.”
“I…” She looked into the distance. A great reluctance washed over her. “Won’t it be better for the both of us to give our flyers here? Barely anyone exits by the back-gate anyway.”
“And where did you get that theory from? Students exit through both gates equally. There’s a bus station by both exits.”
“I know, but… I just… it’s better to just pass it out here with you. Two heads are better than one.”
“Right, which is why I asked you to cover the back-gate.”
“No, I just… I- ugh-'' She could tell from Sonia’s uncontrollable eye-roll that she was being toyed with.
“Can you just tell me what you want?”
“You already know what I want! You’re just being annoying again.”
“No. I’m waiting for you to be honest and tell me directly what it is you want.”
“But you already know!”
“Is it really that hard to just say it?”
“Ok, fine! I’m feeling lonely and I want to pass the flyers with you! I hate my life, okay? Leave me alone!”
Sonia turned around, passing out another flyer.
“So is that a yes?”
“Whatever.”
“Is it?”
“Ugh!” Honey crossed her arms and turned around too, passing her flyers out in gloom.
**
Sonia alighted first, paying her half of the cab fare as she left. Her mother could be seen waving eagerly, and she eagerly waved back. She liked Sonia’s mother, and wondered why her optimism didn’t pass off to her daughter.
The keys slammed into the lock like a battering ram, only slotting in after the third strike. Honey crashed on the couch with an exhausted sigh. Her back melted into the cushion, dozing off for a quick nap before she rose up again to lock the door and make herself dinner. With minimal furniture, the room had a mirage of space, deluding one into thinking it could house a family.
One couch, one coffee table, and one tiny kitchen was all she needed to raise herself. Her computer acted as her television, playing all her favourite films from piracy sites with varying levels of quality. Lady Luck might bestow her with stunning-edge resolution and crisp audio, or curse her with blurry cammed footage and audio so soft she couldn’t hear it despite turning the volume to its maximum. The option for subtitles was the jackpot of this lottery.
House chores were an effective time-killer and a way for her to release pent up anxieties and sorrows during the wee hours. The sight of dust or any form of uncleanliness repulsed her, and she always ensured her eyes would be spared from such disgusting sights. This was the reason why she physically couldn’t enter the dishwasher’s area during work, and would need someone else’s help to retrieve anything within that area.
All the friendships she built came crashing down in an instant, as if they never mattered. The night grew darker, taunting her with its freezing chills until she reached the point of tears. Following her nightly routine beat for beat, she curled up on the couch and sobbed to herself until she fell asleep, or until something interrupted her; in this case it was buzzing from her phone.
It took her a good minute for her to rationalise the purpose of answering the phone, wondering who would even call her at this hour, and if she even deserved to speak to them, or if she had anything good to say to them. There was only one way to find out.
“What do you want!” Honey lashed out, seeing the contact ‘Sonia’ appear on screen.
“Can’t sleep.” Sonia said.
“Yeah well, same here. What do you want?”
“Nothing. Just calling to see if you’re asleep.”
“Well I’m not, are you happy?”
“No.”
“Ugh, you’re never happy with me.”
“Why can’t you rehearse your lines?”
“Really? You’re gonna talk about this now?”
“Do you still have your copy of the script?”
“Yes, obviously! Can you just leave me alone!” She shrieked at the top of her lungs.
“Ok. I’ll play Ben’s part. We start from the top.”
“What? You’re joking, right?” Her voice returned to normal, and the tears stopped flowing. Her heart stopped sprinting at lighting speed, and the tension within her nerves began releasing.
“No, I’m not. From the top, okay?”
“Ugh… Ok, wait, give me a second.” She fished the copy out from her bag and flipped to the first page, where scrawls of notes and highlights distract from the original text. “Ok… I got it.”
“Ok, good.”
They rehearse their lines past midnight, until Honey has completely abandoned her pity-party, and the night finally releases its grip from her. Both of their phones were drained, causing a hassle at school the next day.