"So... leader-" Erin chuckled. "What's next?"
"Huh?" Sonia snapped out of her trance. Honey was nowhere to be seen, despite her not having a shift at the restaurant today. She feared the worst from her sudden absence.
"What are we gonna do today? And how did 'Singing Doll' do? In the competition?"
"Uh... I didn't check yet."
"Oh, okay. Do you want to post it online?"
"Yeah, yeah... on the school website." She tried to return to her train of thought to no avail
.
"Ok cool, I can do that."
"Yeah... thanks."
Erin clapped her hands together, reminding her of Ben. She thought back to their falling out and wondered how long ago that was. "So, what now? Do we come up with something new to film... or...? I don't know how you guys usually start projects."
"Well us 'guys' aren't here anymore."
"Oh... ok... meaning?"
"Just post it online... and go home. I'll text you later."
"Um... ok."
**
The sun blinded her Sunday morning, punishing her for her horrendous sleep habits. The weight of her skull jerked around, spinning the room beneath her feet. Using mental recollection as a walking stick, she stumbled her way downstairs to the dining table, where breakfast lays waiting. An omelette with diced tomatoes and mushrooms, exactly the way she likes it.
"He's calling today. You ready?"
She nodded, having no mental capacity to answer otherwise.
"You don't have to, you know?"
"I want to." She barked.
"Ok... ok... ok." Her mother handed her a package. "This is from him."
She nodded, taking a bite out of her perfect breakfast. Even her mother's culinary skills were unable to lift the dark cloud. She stumbled her way back to her room, wilting away in her bed as the world lies on her shoulders. As the president of the club, she had to pick up the scraps Sam made during his reign and save the club from obscurity. How could she possibly manage to carry the entire club on her back as the dead horse it is? She had nothing in her to make this work, yet she knew she owed it to them, and more importantly to herself, to make this work. From day one, she invested the most out of the three, giving it her all until Sam found it too troublesome. Now with the keys to the castle, she ironically wanted nothing to do with it any longer.
"Can we talk?" Her mother asked a while later with a knock on her door. Intuitively, she felt an hour had passed. "On the couch?"
She groaned, and dragged her corpse there for a motherly chat. At least she had the decency to put on her favourite films to buy her time.
"You don't look good." Go figure, she thought. She burned down the entire world. "What's going on?"
"Don't you already know?"
"Well then what do you think about it?"
She shrugged, finding nothing worthwhile to answer with.
Her mother sighed, "I just want to talk to you, Sonia."
"There's no point."
"Why? I mean, you'll talk to him-" She subdued her anger, "Why?"
"You'll just say the same thing, I'll say how I feel and you'll just tell me 'it's not my fault, I love you little genius.' when it obviously is! There's no point!"
"Well, why do you think it's your fault to begin with?"
"Are you serious? I broke him, Mom. I broke him. A year and a half and I've never seen him that insecure before... I... I caused damage, Mom. I could see it... in his eyes. He was just- and I just-"
She saw the gears in her mother's head turn, trying to compute a different response. "Well, what do you think you can do to fix it?"
"Nothing. That's the whole point. I ruined it all, and there's nothing I can do. I don't get to redo it, or do anything about it after."
"I don't think that's true. What about an apology?"
"As if he's the forgiving type."
This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.
"Well, if you know what he's insecure about, maybe you'll know what he can do to fix that, and then you can subtly help him do so?"
"So I secretly become his shrink?"
Her mother nodded.
"Ew. I don't owe him that."
"Don't you? I thought you said this was your fault."
"Well I-" She froze, running into a dead end. "Well- ugh- fine!"
"How about Honey? Did you two make up?"
"I guess..." Her mood lightened, revealing a slight smirk.
"Good."
"She bought me a dress... It's all black, which according to her is my favourite colour- stupid."
"Oh! You gonna wear it?"
"Ew, no!"
They binged movies for the rest of the afternoon until her mother's phone came ringing. They exchanged a telepathic look, and headed to her bedroom. It's time. They played rock-paper-scissors to decide who went first, and it seemed she won. Her mother set up the video call with a sigh, and gave him a stern warning before leaving.
Sonia locked the door, and sat with her arms crossed, feeling a burst of adrenaline coarse through her veins. "Where is it?"
"We're gonna start with that huh?"
"Yup. Before anything."
"Fine, then here you go." The dad held up a coloured chip, with the label '2 year' on it. "Good enough?"
"I have a 20 year chip, so you know... one-tenth good I guess."
"So you're a saint for not drinking? How's school?"
Sonia went speechless.
"Probably a good time for you to get off the high-road. What are you doing everyday? How are you still failing?"
"I don't know."
"Then find out! Study! Grades are important. I don't want you to get expelled."
Chills went down her spine. "Ok."
"What's so hard about IT anyway? It's just computers! You use a computer everyday! Stop slacking and study already. What are you waiting for? You think a GPA of 4 comes down from the sky? 3 day delivery? If you don't wanna fail, then put in the work!"
Sonia exploded, "I am!"
"Then why are you still failing?" Her Dad exploded too.
"I don't know! I don't understand anything! I'm not the studying type!"
"Type-type-type, stop giving me excuses! And if you don't understand, just ask! You have teachers, friends, classmates, the entire Internet!"
"I have no friends."
"Ugh please. Spare me. Think about your future!"
Sonia went speechless, searching for a response, and then she picked up a cue. "Because you did so well right? Just- rolling in money."
"Yeah, it is! The-the house you live in, it's all paid for by me."
Sonia got up, then flicked every light switch on in an act of defiance. "If I left this on for the whole night, how much would that cost you?"
"Stop messing around!"
Sonia stayed rooted.
"Turn it off!"
"Make me!"
Her Dad's turn to go silent.
And then they stopped for a long second, and flashed a devil's grin at each other. "I shipped you something, did you get it?"
"Uh huh, and what is it."
"It's a new phone. Your current one is from my generation. Keep up with the times."
"I don't need it."
"Then give it to your mother!"
"She doesn't need one either."
"Ok. Let's see if you still need better wifi, more data coverage, and a subscription to a streaming service that only shows cult classic films."
Sonia leaked a smile.
"It’s all silent films. Still need it? I can ask them to ship it back and I'll just give it to a colleague."
Sonia flushed her cheeks. "You think I'm gonna say no? You wasted money on it. Please, go on, buy me all the gifts you want. For my birthday I want your debit card."
"And for mine I want a GPA of 4."
They both chuckled a little.
"They should make chips for GPA values and give one to you every semester."
"I'd throw mine in the bin the moment I get it."
"How's your mother's novel? You should read it, you know."
"Ugh, I hate reading."
"It's a good book. Read a draft at least."
"I already know all the details, she talks about it all the time."
"Half of her work she's too shy to even talk about. No confidence. Like you."
"Well it's hard to gain confidence when you're a complete failure, unless of course you're a narcissist."
"Please. Failure and confidence are mutually exclusive. That's one thing they never teach you in school."
"Then where'd you learn that piece of wisdom from?" Sonia scoffed and rolled her eyes, seeing right through her father's bold-face lie. Honey was a better liar than he was. How was she doing?
"You don't wanna listen, it's up to you. How's that pink-hair girl?"
"Honey? What about her?"
"Come on... I raised you, you think you can keep it from me?" He smiled painfully.
"Oh, so you're okay with it now?" She huffed.
"Don't dredge up the past, I'm sorry, okay?"
"M...hm."
"Girls are better anyway. Guys will only want to take advantage, especially guys around your age. Not me of course."
"Guys only take advantage of pretty girls."
"Exactly."
She rolled her eyes, resisting the urge to smile to no avail, "She bought me a dress."
"Show me."
"Ok, hang on..." She went out and retrieved Honey's gift, kept in mint condition inside her wardrobe, then returned.
"Wear it."
"No, ew! I hate dresses!"
"You're a girl, girls are supposed to wear dresses! If you don't wear that dress no one will!"
"No, I'm not wearing it."
"Wear it!"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I hate dresses."
'Wear it." He said more sternly.
"No."
"Great, this again."
"What?"
"You're inside your head again." He wagged a finger at his head. "I'm not even talking to my daughter anymore."
"How can I not be in it? It's you know... my head. And this is who I am, deal with it!"
Her Dad went silent for a while. "Well, I'm not saying don't listen."
"Huh?"
"Are you really gonna let some voice in your head stop you from wearing a dress? It's just a dress! It's so stupid and pathetic if you don't wear it over some stupid voice. I mean maybe if the dress was made out of cotton and your skin is sensitive, but a voice? Sonia, a voice? Come on! Aren't you better than that?"
"Yeah, I am!"
"Then stop listening to the stupid voice and wear the dress!"
"Ok, fine!" She stated, running into her mother's bathroom to change.
"Do a spin."
Sonia obliged, grumbling curses under her breath. The fabric waxed her skin in silky comfort.
"Good. You didn't let something as stupid as a voice stop you."
"Yeah. They're still there."
"And that you can count on."
A light bulb flashed in her head.
"Whatever. Go get your mother now."
"Ok. Bye."
They looked at each other, unspoken words trapped in their throat. "Ok, go get your mother already, I don't have all night little genius." He cleared his throat.
"Yeah, I'm going Dad!" She exclaimed back. Unlocking the door, she exchanged a few words to her mother and retreated to her room.
"How'd it go?" Her mother asked.
"Good. The package was a new phone."
"You look beautiful." Her mother said, hand caressing her naked shoulders. Her lips curled up wide on accident. "I thought you hated dresses."
"Well, I guess I just hate the fact that I hate dresses more."
She dozed off early that night, still comfortably wrapped in the silky dress which functioned better as pyjamas. With new-found motivation, she got to work on a new script the next morning.