I woke up later than usual, around nine, and made a bowl of cereal for myself. I sat at the small table in the kitchen, looking outside the window at an exceptionally gloomy day with gray skies for miles—the ideal weather to do a bunch of nothing. The garage door started to open in the middle of my contemplation of how to spend the day. Beth had put in the security code from the outside and entered through the unlocked kitchen door.
I said, “I take it you were worried about me.”
She crossed her arms. “Nope. It doesn’t concern me.”
“You’re not supposed to skip class, you know.”
“Your empty seat pissed me off. It’s not fair you get the day off and I don’t.”
I nodded slowly and looked to the side. “Sorry. Rosa’s orders.” I looked her in the eyes. “But I am feeling a bit better now that you’re here.”
“Hmph,” she grunted, trying to hide a smile.
Beth sat across from me at the small table. She relaxed and yawned, leaning into her arm to enjoy the quiet of the house.
I asked her, “Have you ever dreamed before?”
“Obviously. Why?”
“Last night I… dreamed, I guess. It was after Rosa left. I only remember it in snapshots and all the details are fuzzy now. I didn’t think it was even possible for chimeras to dream.”
Beth took some time to think. “Well, if it wasn’t a dream, it might’ve been a mind trap. Makes you think you’re somewhere else, but you’ve never actually gone anywhere. Rosa is pretty good at them—too good—makes me think I’m being ignored in class or went to school in my pajamas.” She sighed. “It’s her idea of punishment for not doing my homework. Don’t know why she’d do that to you, though.”
I shook my head. “Now I’m even less sure.”
“Why not just ask her?”
“No point in bothering her over it.”
Beth shrugged. “Could talk to Marie if it bothers you.”
“I’d rather not. Living dolls creep me out.”
“Whatever!” She smirked. “I’m gonna tell her you said that.”
I sarcastically said, “No. Don’t.”
Beth smiled. “It would be nice to see you get in trouble for once. There’s not a single living doll as kind as her. Imagine how heartbroken she’d be to hear that Elliot finds her creepy after all she’s done… Such a terrible fate could be prevented if you do something for me, perhaps.”
I decided to humor her. “What do you want?”
She bit her lip. “I wanna have some fun.”
❦ ❦ ❦
I drove Beth around town in agreement to her ambiguous desire for fun. The sights were all new to her as she stuck to the northern side of the county where the bar is, walking across farmland and taking the backroads to school. She admitted to me that she wasn’t fond of being inside of a vehicle and was making an exception for today. And while she could easily traverse the entire town in the cover of night, Sorrow was not a proper city that stayed awake at all hours. With Sorrow’s proximity to a military base, in the South especially, you can imagine the kind of culture that was present.
Our first stop was the mall since it was the only place with anything to do that didn't involve praying or eating. We entered the large clothing store where she tried on different dresses and shoes. She teased me and asked me odd questions as she would try and flaunt each new look. I ended up buying her a pair of large sunglasses along with a broad-brimmed hat to get her out of the store as I was starting to starve.
At the register, she asked, “Why show me such kindness?”
I said, “Might help keep you out of the sun.”
“The sun’s a bitch but it won’t kill me.”
“I know. I thought it’d look nice on you.”
Beth eagerly accepted the gifts and held the bag in one hand—insisting that I hold the other as we walked. I refused, but she was happy enough to see me blush at her insistence. We then went into the inner area of the mall where there were a multitude of kiosks and smaller hobby stores. I was worried that two teens being at the mall at such an hour would be an issue, but no one seemed to care. For all they knew we were a couple of college kids, maybe siblings, or maybe a couple on a date.
Beth spoke candidly, “I’d almost forgotten what it’s like to not worry about being out in public. Having you around makes it feel like there’s no eyes on me.”
“You sure seem to crave attention at school, though.”
“That’s different! I was establishing myself in the social order. Can’t be the ‘new girl’ forever. You’d know how it works if you actually made friends.”
“I do have friends.”
She looked at me with a certain smugness. “How can you say that if they don’t know what you really are? If anything, I’m the only person fit to be your friend since I know your secret. Best friends since you know mine.”
I sighed. “They might not know what I am but I’ve never been dishonest about who I am. Like anybody else, that person changes depending on who I’m with. To you, I’m a chimera. To my friends, I’m human. Neither is wrong nor a lie. It’s a matter of perspective.”
Beth laughed. “I’m not sure if that’s really the same thing, but you do you.”
“I’m trying to say that no one has a continuous perspective of us other than ourselves. Everybody else only knows you relatively. The different social dynamics at play change the context of how we interact as well.”
“O-kay, Mr. Philosophical. You think that up all by yourself or did you get it from one of those websites you read for fun?”
“Both. I thought it’d help in developing a personality.”
Beth stopped a moment and looked at me. “Well, your personality is kinda grim sometimes. Even in class you have a gloomy air about you—and it seems like you get stuck in your head all the time.”
“I will admit to that much. My mind wanders off to things I could’ve done differently—all the things that could be different… But a little self-contemplation never hurts.”
“Why bother? My advice is: you can’t change the past—nobody can. It’s better to just move on and let any regrets wash over you. No point in keeping your mind occupied over what-ifs.”
“I suppose that’s one solution. With a lifespan like yours, there’s likely going to be a lot more regrets to contemplate.” I wanted to say more, but the sight of a familiar face coming from the nearby electronics store took my attention away from Beth. “Sam?”
Sam’s face lit up as he saw me and excitedly said, “Hey, Eli!” He showed off a brand-new copy of Romonster Crossing. “I got it.”
The three of us sat near one of the scenic installations by the food court. The plastic potted plants and sound of the fountain gave a more pleasant contrast to the echoing bustle of mall goers. It was the first time that Sam and Beth met face-to-face, but neither introduced themselves to the other.
Sam joked, “I didn’t take you for a rebel, Eli. Skipping school to hang out with a girl. You never did that with Lyca.” He faced Beth. “Eli told me that you’re a transfer student. Where’re you from?”
Beth looked him over and answered. “No place really. I’m a bit of a drifter because of my family.”
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He nodded. “I take it they’re military. A lot of kids get dragged here from all over because of the military base. Even my parents moved here when I was—” He wheezed and tried to stifle a cough.
Beth quickly spoke again, “Mana sickness. Are you going to emerge?”
Sam cleared his throat and chuckled. “Is it that easy to tell now?”
Beth frowned. “Consider it a lucky guess.”
Sam shook his head. “It’s no surprise to me. I got exposed to a lot of mana as a toddler—fell into a river and nearly drowned. Been sick ever since… and it’s only getting worse. I almost envy you two.”
I asked, “Envy us?”
“Yeah… Y’all don’t have to worry about mana for the most part. You get to swim and go out in the rain. The rest of us constantly have to be on our toes about avoiding exposure. Even on days like this I have to be careful… It's super stressful.”
Beth said, “I think emergence is a blessing. Mana-resistant humans are few and far between; the rest, like you, will evolve beyond them.”
“I guess so. I do feel that one day there won’t be a place left for humanity. But as it is now, I’ll be shunned for emerging.” Sam smiled. “I’m glad that there’s some open-minded people like y’all, though… even if you end up seeing me as a monster… in the old sense of the word.”
Beth gently laughed. “In my experience, it’s the humans who are monsters. And for all you know, we’re—Ow!”
I jabbed Beth in the side with my elbow to keep her from going too far. “We all have our own struggles. Between the three of us, I feel that there’s little to be jealous over.”
Sam said, “I suppose you’re right,” as he got up. “I’d love to chat more but I have a doctor’s appointment in an hour. My father is waiting in the car, and all.”
We said some brief goodbyes to Sam, leaving Beth and me together once more. I decided to get some chicken sandwiches for the two of us and went into the food court proper, bringing them back to Beth. There was a lull in passerby as we ate, so we returned back to our world of secrets.
Beth leaned in to speak to me. “Your friend has a cute neck,” she said. “I could make him kindred.”
“Kindred? What?”
“You know, a servant. Might stop him from becoming an abomination… and he’ll get some of my own power.”
“I don’t think he’d agree to it.”
“It’s not like it’s his choice. If you’re going to fall in love with a human, you may as well make them kindred. They’re too frail otherwise.”
“Love? We’re just friends.”
“He called you Eli. Seems like a pet name to me.”
“All my friends do. It doesn’t mean anything.”
She smiled. “So, who’s Lyca?”
I sighed. “She’s my ex.”
“Ohhh, so you do like humans.”
“She’s a therian. A wolf girl.”
“How exotic.” She grinned. “Was she just a pet to pass the time?”
“Maybe… She did like wearing a collar.”
Beth frowned. “I can’t tell if you’re joking.”
“Why ask me these things, Beth? Are you trying to catch me in a lie? Tell me what’s really on your mind.”
She paused. “I’m worried that you actually think you’re a human.”
“Believe me, I haven’t forgotten what I am.”
“Then why do you reject the truth?”
I simply shook my head and ignored the question.
She smugly asked, “You like taking the lead?”
I shrugged. “I’m either way about it. Sometimes it’s better to be along for the ride with a ‘happy to be here’ attitude.”
“Well, Eli, how about I follow you back to the car?”
“What happened to eating?”
“I just can’t stomach human food.” Beth put her chicken sandwich back into the bag it came in. “And I don’t remember the way we came in.”
❦ ❦ ❦
I went a different way to show Beth a bit more of the town in hope that something would catch her eye as I was in no rush to return home. Beth pointed at the central park across the road from the Valkuth church and asked, “Can we stop over there?”
I obliged and parked close to the restrooms, pleased that my plan worked, though I wondered what she wanted to do at a park meant for little children.
Beth put on the large black sunglasses and broad-brimmed hat, tags still attached. As she got out, she said, “I wish you parked a bit closer.”
“The park is right there.”
She pointed off towards the cemetery at the edge of the park and went on the sidewalk towards it. “This is more my style.”
“How typical, a vampire that likes graveyards.”
We walked between the graves. Most headstones were made of marble, some white, others black. They all had a circular hole lined with reflective metal to represent the Radiance, the feminine deity of the Valkuth faith whose real name is too sacred to know, let alone speak. We then stopped at a particularly extravagant tomb for the local inquisitors that died during the Convergence.
Beth placed a hand on one of the markers and said, “The Valkuth faith teaches that paradise can be achieved by bringing the light of the Radiance to all. They believe that all mana is sourced from her; that the righteous will bask in her glow while the wicked are burned to ash… How ironic that it was mana that created the very abominations that killed them.” She walked a bit further, keeping her hand on the tomb. “Every day the humans pray to their gods for survival, yet death comes to them all the same. They mourn their dead, build their monuments, and look towards the light forgetting that it blinds them… I just can’t help but think that their pursuit of paradise will one day force us into an apocalypse.”
I scratched my head. “The Convergence nearly tore the planet apart and brought the vast majority of monsters to the world. It’s the reason why the rifts are closed and no one can go back. Even if it wasn’t the fault of the Valkuth, I think we all learned a lesson when it comes to mana.”
She turned to me and asked, “Do you know how the chimeras came to Earth?”
“I assume it was around the time of the Convergence.”
She smirked. “Wrong.”
“How, then?”
“Well, if you’ve been paying attention in class, you’d know that humans first made contact with the angels and therians in 1957. The valkyrie, appearing like warrior angels, were easily accepted by the devout humans who believed them to be messengers of their respective gods. That’s how the Valkuth faith started on Earth.”
“Yes, I’m aware.”
“Then tell me when the humans made contact with a third civilization.”
“It was when the devils invaded in 1979.”
“And what role did the Order of Veter play in that?”
I sighed. “They were the first to go through the rift to Lenoa after we defeated the devil’s invasion force. The American military wasn’t equipped to fight on a world saturated with mana, so we had to resort to PMCs of monsters who were.”
“You’ve been paying attention. Good. Then you also know that they failed. Luckily, the original Arbiters were there to clean up the mess. How quickly they were able to beat back the devils… makes you wonder.”
“The Arbiters were recruiting devils that wanted the war on Lenoa to end—the whole reason they invaded was to escape the war on their planet. Obviously devils know best when it comes to fighting other devils. Their magic would have remained unknown to us otherwise.”
“That’s what they teach. But what if those devils that joined the Arbiters were also chimeras. It would explain how the Arbiters grew to be so strong so quickly; converting the bodies of those they defeated into chimeras. Especially since the devils were still too prideful and xenophobic to work with others.”
It was absurd to me. “I thought you didn’t bother with what-ifs.”
“If you look at a history of large ambient mana spikes, they line up to when the major rifts were opened. Two in 1957, one in 1979… but there’s another in 1969—coinciding with the destruction of a Valkuth research facility in Switzerland. I wonder what they found and why it’s such a secret.”
“What are you suggesting?”
“I’m suggesting that was when chimeras were first discovered and introduced to Earth. Unwillingly, hence the destruction; their spores spread into the Alps and were kept dormant by the frigid climate. Why else did Dr. Lynch go there to find the chimeric fungus? To make you?”
I thought it over. “Okay, that does sound a bit plausible from what I know. Don’t know how that changes anything, though.”
Beth seemed unsure of herself. “Don’t you wonder if there are others like you?”
“No. And I don’t particularly care, either. I thought we were talking about the Valkuth. Or is this really about the Arbiters?”
“Whatever… Just forget I mentioned it.” Beth walked towards me and placed a gentle hand on my chest. “You trust me, don’t you?”
“Well, uh… you’ve not given me a reason not to.”
In a small moment of weakness, she said, “Just say yes… I want it to be mutual.”
I looked away and spoke softly, “Yeah, I trust you…”
Beth relented and looked at the rumbling clouds in the distance. After some silence, she continued to walk through the cemetery with me trailing behind. She said, “Maybe it isn’t so bad living in Sorrow.” She turned to me and looked me straight in the eyes. “But I’m still not ready to commit.”
After that moment I felt a bit more understanding of who Beth was. To her, trust was something forged out of some commonality or shared experience. She expected to be hurt, to be disappointed, yet kept an air of confidence to mask her insecurity. We had as many similarities as we did differences, but perhaps it was enough for her to trust me because I trusted her in kind. Whatever fate my mother planned for her—for vampires—I will never know for sure; but for a day that was otherwise insignificant, I do believe it was worth the trouble.