We were well into February when Sam fully embraced her new life and identity. In that time, she let her hair grow out and wore much tighter clothes. She became confident in herself, and her new appearance was well received at school, though mainly because most assumed she was a new student. Unfortunately, being outed as an abomination by some of her human classmates led to a lot of new attention; both positive and negative. Many of those in her grade became cold to her and called her names—the worst coming from the girls who paid no mind to her before. Their very vocal disapproval didn’t seem to bother Sam much, however, as she found support in her monster classmates. And despite Sam’s shift in social circles, she still sat with me at lunch with Blinds also coming back to eat with us on his own accord.
I was a little late to lunch and came upon Sam and Blinds arguing at the booth, something that often occurred in my absence. I asked, “What’s the problem now?”
Sam said, “Blinds is being an asshole, as usual.”
“And she’s being ignorant,” said Blinds.
Sam continued her fit. “But I want to learn! Teach me how to use magic!”
“Get over it already, damn. You know it’s not possible.”
Sam crossed her arms. “Only because you won’t teach me.”
Blinds sighed. “There isn’t enough mana in the air for us to use magic. Pestering me about it isn’t going to change that fact. You’d have to carry a mana crystal around—and good luck finding one worth a damn.”
Sam looked down and became a bit calmer. “I know it’s a lot to ask. You’re just the only one I know that’s so smart and knowledgeable about magic. I wanted to learn from the best.”
Blinds cleared his throat. “You think I’m the best?”
Sam pouted. “I do, but if it can’t be helped then it can’t be helped. I’m pretty close with some arbiters, I could ask—”
“No need for that!” A sly smile appeared across Blinds’ face. “I’ll consider it. But only if you get me some of those cookies they serve in the lower level.”
Sam’s eyes lit up with determination. She pushed past me with some urgency, nearly knocking me over. Blinds and I both watched as she ran towards the ramp to the lower level and hurried down.
I turned to Blinds and said, “You only said that to make her leave.”
He smiled and leaned back in the booth. “You know me so well.”
As I sat down on the empty side, I asked, “Are you really gonna teach her?”
“I wasn’t going to originally, but she’s been pretty persistent. She’s going to find her answer somewhere; may as well be me. It may be enough to convince her not to join the Arbiters. Safer that way—for all of us.”
I nodded along. “Don’t think she’s cut out for it?”
Blinds paused and tilted his head. “I mean… nothing good will ever come from getting involved with them.” He was serious but remained calm. “Becoming an arbiter changes you. I don’t know if it’s the process or the reality of being one that does it, but you end up becoming a stranger to everyone that knows you. It’s why they take up new names—why their previous identities are considered dead.”
“Oh… I never knew.”
“Eh, it’s not something they advertise. Would hurt recruitment.” He took a few bites out of his food. “But I did mean to ask you, all this time…” He paused a bit and made conflicted expressions of anger and doubt. “Did Sam tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“That she’s a girl?”
“Before emergence? No. She insists she always was, though.”
Blinds sighed. “I always wondered. Sam’s aura… didn’t change. It’s like his body… her body… was always meant to be this way—like all emergence did was correct an inconsistency. Or in her case, a mistake.”
“Who’s to say? She’s taking it well enough. Probably best to not dwell on it too much—for her sake. It’s a silly thing to get stuck on considering what some monsters can do to their bodies with magic. Emergence isn’t much different.”
Blinds sat there pondering my words. “I suppose you’re right. Maybe there’s no denying who we are on the inside. And with eyes being the window to the soul…” He leaned back with a frown. “What color are they now?”
“Blue, but the light they had when she emerged never fully went away. It’s like a cold star trapped in the void of her pupils. You don’t really notice it unless you’re staring. Seems to be a common lingering effect after emergence—so she says.”
Blinds shook his head. “Sounds like her body is trying to manipulate mana without her fully realizing it. Abominations are known to create a passive spell around them but I haven’t noticed any distortions.”
“Think there's something wrong with her?”
“I don’t know, dude; other species aren’t exactly my forte, especially not abominations.”
“I think she’d prefer to be considered an elf.”
“She’s not really an elf, though, she just looks like one. She may as well be one, from what I can tell, but that’s not to say she follows the same rules. She might actually be more like a demon… or worse.” He sighed and scratched his head. “She might not need ambient mana in the same way that we do… but then… no, I doubt they’d let her live.”
I wanted to ask him more but Sam soon returned red in the face, both angry and almost in tears. “Blinds, you bastard! I went through every single line and none of them serve cookies.”
“Ah, it was just a test,” he bluffed. “Magic is a hard talent to master. You have to be prepared for failure.”
Sam’s mood immediately changed back to a slight happiness. “Does that mean I passed?”
“Sure. How about you both come by my place later today and—”
Sam screamed with glee and wrapped her arms around Blinds’ neck, nearly choking him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
❦ ❦ ❦
Blinds’ house was on the bend of a dead-end street deep in the woods. That part of town seemed forgotten, untouched by the expansion and growth of the city, a place for similarly forgotten monsters. The house itself sat atop a hill and was overlooking a steep ledge in the back. The front yard was small and eroding away into the ditch on one side. The lower back yard had a two-story tower of unknown purpose, likely a tool shed set up high to protect against flooding in the valley. Rust covered some of the tin roofing of both buildings—a common sight in the cheap housing that was built after the Convergence, especially in the slums.
I parked at one end of the c-shaped driveway in the front of the house, hoping that I wasn’t blocking anyone from getting in. When Sam and I got out of the car, Blinds called out to us from the other side of the road, walking out from behind the wall of bamboo which grew beside it. We waved to each other and met in the middle of the street. Up close, Blinds asked, “I trust y’all aren’t gonna tell anyone about this, right?”
Sam replied, “Of course not. What kinda friends do you take us for?”
I said, “Any secret of yours is safe with us.”
With a nod, Blinds guided us through the bamboo and deeper into the woods. I noticed there were craters here and there, like scars from a warzone filled with reeking, stagnant water. Then appeared several rusted and abandoned heavy equipment, some standing firm, others half-sunken into the earth, with a single iron pipe jutting out of the ground in the middle of our path.
I asked Blinds, “What caused all this?”
“Abominations,” he said. “Used to be a construction site a long time ago. Most of the workers instantly transformed and the rest didn’t stand a chance. Only a single man survived.”
Sam seemed unsure. “But for abominations to appear suddenly… wouldn’t that mean…?”
We soon arrived at a conspicuous circle of trees with rocks strewn across the barren land inside. In the center was a very visible scar in the air—a partially sealed rift—still leaking motes of light. Blinds and Sam walked between the trees with no issue, but I hesitated and reached an arm out between the trees, immediately feeling a change in the air. It was a clear difference in the amount of mana I was used to, though nothing too extreme. I pushed through to join them—a gentle hum gracing my ears as the mana washed over me.
Sam looked around in amazement. “I had no idea there was a rift in Sorrow. There’s no fence around it or anything!” She observed the glass-like fracture in the air up close. “Seems like whoever tried to seal it did a poor job, though.”
I asked, “Doesn’t that mean it’s still dangerous?”
Blinds said, “Not to us. It leaks a little mana, but nothing is gonna pop out of it or anything. It’s a good place to practice a bit of magic—nothing more.”
Sam jumped and yelled, “I can’t wait to cast my first spell!”
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Blinds shook his head and sighed. “Then let’s get this over with.” He grabbed at the back of his blindfold and undid the intricate knot, carefully sliding it off and tying the black cloth around his neck. He slowly opened his eyes to reveal the deep crimson color he had been hiding all along. As he looked at me with a piercing red gaze, he said, “Damn, you’re uglier than I expected.” He then turned towards Sam and stared, his brow furrowed as he failed to say anything to her.
Sam tilted her head and smiled. “Like what you see?”
Blinds blushed and frowned. “Moving on…” He walked over to one of the flat rocks with a backpack and silver rod laying on top. Inside the backpack were various gems and crystals along with a paper notebook which Blinds handed to Sam as she approached him.
“What’s all this?” Sam asked as she thumbed through pages of various magic diagrams and pictures of anatomy.
Blinds summarized the information while he affixed a clear crystal to one end of the silver rod: “Mana interacts with the body in different ways for different species. Monsters classified as demons typically have an aptitude for magic since they store mana in their bodies—meaning that casting is no different for them than moving a muscle. They remain a danger even without the presence of ambient mana, but that also means that their ‘reserves’ can run out. Magic for us magi is a bit more complicated since our bodies typically act as a medium for ambient mana to flow through. For us to cast, we have to control that flow and concentrate the mana into the desired spell. This process is further facilitated with the use of a conduit—which is a simple tool or weapon used to channel our will. It’s not really required for smaller spells, but it still helps since most aren’t able to do without.” Blinds snapped his fingers and produced a free-floating flame to display his own talent. “There are also dark and light aspects to using magic, but the difference is mainly philosophical and a way to describe different cultural practices between, say, devils and elves. As far I’m concerned, magic is magic regardless of how you use it… so long as it doesn’t involve blood.”
Sam closed the journal and looked on with amazement. She then snapped her own fingers, producing nothing. She wasn’t discouraged in trying again, however, and continued to snap again and again with both hands to the tune of a song rather than a spell.
When Blinds finished preparing the silver rod, he handed it to Sam, though avoided eye contact in the exchange. “Before we start,” he said, “the answer is no; you can’t keep it.” Sam was too busy flailing the rod around to hear him, spinning in circles on her heel. “The hell are you doing!?” he yelled as he dodged a swipe at his horns.
Sam spun the rod in a circle and exclaimed, “Magic!”
While Blinds tried to get Sam to calm down and focus, I basked in the sun on a rock out of the way and listened to their playful sparring. It took some time for Blinds to corral Sam in from her excitement, though he shared as much excitement to teach and kept nervously getting ahead of himself and going on strange tangents about the dangers of blood magic. Sam was still quite receptive to his methods, however, and took to his teachings pretty quick.
Sam straightened her posture, moving her right arm to aim the rod. “How will I know if it’s working?” she asked with a nervous frown.
“You’ll know when it happens. We’ll know when your eyes glow.” Blinds stood beside her, grabbing onto the rod but avoiding her hand. “Direct the mana to flow towards conduit… like this.” The clear gem at the end of the silver rod started to glow as flames formed around it. Blinds did a gentle forward motion to send the fire off the rod and away from them into a ball. The ball of fire then floated in place before speeding off and hitting a rock in the distance. “Your turn,” he said, standing off to the side.
Sam squirmed a bit and forced her eyes shut. In her concentration, she managed to create small sparks from the rod which lasted only a couple seconds. Blinds frowned at the display and tried to correct Sam’s methods until a burst of blue light emitted from her eyes. The silver rod resonated with the flow of mana in her body and began to form a proper spell with great intensity. However, despite the grand display of light, only a bit of water sprinkled from the tip of the rod with the same pressure as a watering can—a bit weak but still amazing.
I got up from the rock to congratulate her. “You did it, Sam!”
Blinds wasn’t so impressed and even appeared a bit puzzled. “Were you thinking of running water?”
Sam nervously laughed. “Yeah… something like that.”
Blinds rubbed his chin. “It’s a bit amateur, but—”
There was a nearby rustle that captured our attention. Blinds’ younger sister, Aisling, was hiding behind a tree with her spaded tail and black hair visible to us, her violet eyes taking short peeks from safety.
Blinds approached her, leaving the inner circle. “Damn it, Ash. How many times do I have to tell you not to come out here?”
Aisling mumbled something in the Lenoan language and ran off. Blinds cursed in the same tongue and chased after her, leaving Sam and I alone. I placed a firm hand on Sam’s shoulder and joked, “So, what’s it like being a true master of the sprinkler spell.”
Sam playfully punched my shoulder and tried to hide a smile. “Don’t tease me like that.” She quickly hugged me. “Now I’m one step closer to becoming an arbiter.”
“Is breaking the law one of the requirements?”
She released the hug, then smiled. “All the cool ones started out as criminals.”
“Yeah, yeah…” I wanted to talk to her more personally. “You doing okay? I heard about some of the girls in your class.”
Sam shook her head. “I’m fine. I knew they were bitches before I emerged. They’re just jealous of my body.”
“You seem to be, uh… adjusting to it.”
Sam rested a hand over her breast. “It’s been surprisingly fun. I never realized how much time I spent stuck in my own head—now it’s like I can do anything. I’m so grateful y’all have been so understanding and mostly treating me the same.”
In truth, a part of me felt that she was an entirely different person parading around as my friend. With how much she changed in so little time, it was almost as though the Sam I knew no longer existed. But she wasn’t all that different than before—at least not personality wise. She had simply broken through her shell and was free to be the person she wanted to be. The person she always was but was too afraid to show. And she seemed to be genuinely happy about it.
I looked up towards the waning sun. “Guess we better head back. It gets dark pretty quick still.”
“How about you go on ahead?” Sam asked. “I really need to pee…”
❦ ❦ ❦
The light from inside of the Berith residence leaked out from the barred windows as Blinds and his sister argued in the living room. The security door was left unlocked for Sam and me to enter.
Aisling yelled at Blinds with tears in her eyes. “A-han, Ian! Fua da clan’s tarnock!” She then pushed Blinds out of the way as she stormed off to her room.
Blinds’ eyes started to glow red, but he relented when he realized we were watching him. He said, “How lucky y’all are to not have siblings.”
Sam said, “Seems nice to have somebody to watch your back. At the end of the day, it’s you two against the world. That’s one more than either of us have.”
Blinds scoffed. “You expect too much from a childish middle-schooler; the only reason she’d watch my back is to spy on me.” He started to put on his blindfold but hesitated and left it off. “I have to start preparing dinner. You’re both free to stay—but no promises on my cooking.”
Sam and I watched TV in the living room while Blinds cooked. Blinds didn’t have cable and relied on a small antenna to pick up channels over the air. However, due to the location, and the tin roof, the signal was spotty at best on all but one channel which had reruns of old shows that were relevant long before our time.
Sam whispered to me, cupping her mouth with a single hand. “Did you see his eyes?”
I spoke softly but wasn’t sure why we were being quiet. “Yeah, pretty hard to miss. Why?”
“Red eyes aren’t natural—not for devils. But his height…”
Aisling peered at us from the corner of the hallway. The smell of food likely roused her from her room, but our whispering made her suspicious. Blinds came around the corner and broke the tension by saying, “Food’s ready.”
We all sat at the square table in the small dining area beside the living room which was separated by a small shelf between them. Blinds prepared each of us a bowl of potatoes and hotdog slices. The food was salt and peppered for taste with only a glass of water to keep it down. I thought that it was an okay meal, not something I’d long for, but it was certainly better than going hungry.
As we ate, I saw Aisling move her tail to touch the tip of Blinds’ tail around the table. He looked up and then turned to her. They looked at each other, unspeaking, and then he turned his head towards Sam. He asked her, “Were you wondering something about me, Sam?”
Sam poked her food with a fork. “Me? Nah.”
Aisling said, “She’s lying.” She looked at me. “The human is suspicious as well. How could you possibly trust one after all they’ve done?”
Blinds reminded her, “Not in front of guests, Ash.”
Aisling became agitated. “Guests? We’re the guests, Ian. It’s their kind that refuses to accept us as equals—or that we are better.”
“Ash, this is our home. We were born on Earth, not Lenoa.”
Aisling spoke under her breath and left the table. Blinds simply shook his head and continued eating. “Don’t mind her,” he said. “She’s a little too proud about our heritage. The Lenoa in her head no longer exists, though. What she considers her birthright is only a shackle to the old ways.”
Sam asked, “Birthright? Are you from one of the archdevil clans?”
Blinds dropped his fork and hurriedly picked it up. “No, uh. We’re clanless devils. My parents came to Earth as refugees, not invaders.” He cleared his throat.
Sam leaned back in her chair and whined. “Aw, but that would make you royalty if you were.”
Blinds sharply said, “You think we’d be living here of all places if that were the case? We’re about as poor as it gets. Only reason we survive is because mom works two shifts as a nurse.”
Sam realized her mistake and let the subject go. “Sorry, Blinds—I didn’t know. I appreciate you allowing me to come. The food is great!”
He scowled. “Glad to hear it.”
After dinner, Sam and Blinds discussed a schedule for them to continue practicing together. I wasn’t sure what they were hoping to accomplish, but it would become a regular thing for them that I wasn’t a part of. The only other thing remarkable to me was the car ride home with Sam.
“Do you think he was lying?” she asked me. “About being clanless…”
I said, “For as long as I’ve known him, I’d say Blinds doesn’t have it in him to outright lie. But you did seem to strike a nerve.”
Sam frowned and let out a short huff. “I let my curiosity get the best of me and ended up being insensitive. Now he probably thinks less of me as a friend.”
“He’s always been difficult when it comes to personal questions… I’m sure he’s over it already.”
“I don’t know, Eli. Devils can hold grudges for generations. Any slight becomes a permanent blemish on both your personal and familial reputation. And for his sister to be so… untrusting. Well, the apple must not fall from the tree.”
“I don’t think he’d invite you back if it was an issue. Are you starting to doubt him as a friend?”
“No, it’s just strange to me—that someone so prideful would hide their bloodline.”
“He wears a blindfold, Sam. He’s obviously got something to hide. Everybody has their secrets.”
Sam looked out the side window. “Some more than others… How can we expect to coexist if so much is left unknown, untold, and forbidden? I want to unravel the mystery; and there’s no better way to do it than being an arbiter.”
I had my doubts about Sam being a good arbiter, but the conviction in her voice made me realize that she certainly had the strength to be one. The question, then, is whether she will one day change the Arbiters… or if they will one day change her. Whatever the case, it seems inevitable, and I have no doubts that the Arbiters are just as interested in her.
It’s simply a matter of time.