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Raccoon's Gardening Guide
Chapter 5 - The Threes

Chapter 5 - The Threes

“I don’t know man, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Of course! Look, he’s practically begging for it. It’ll be so funny if we set him on Ross.”

“He does seem quite eager, and I would like to see that… Okay, do it.”

“Damn, he ate that fast...”

“Hey man, why’s he looking at me like that? Stay aw- OH FUCK! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!”

--Wildlife safety 101: Why to store the stimulants out of the raccoon’s reach.

I open my mouth to ask Cyon a question but freeze before I can get any sound out. Now that the adrenaline from the fight and the panic over Chip’s injuries has faded, I can’t bring myself to speak again.

I’ve always hated my voice. My first memory when I woke up in the undercity two years ago is the deep feeling of disgust I felt when I first spoke. Since then, I just stopped speaking.

If you’re uncomfortable with speaking, you can subvocalise. Simply move your mouth as if you’re speaking without pushing any air out.

‘Like this?’

Exactly.

‘Cool! How can you understand this? In fact, where are you? You’re not really a voice in my head, right?’

I fire out a few questions before pausing and waiting for a response. You can’t blame me for being excited, I haven’t talked to someone who can understand me properly in… actually, I don’t know if I ever have.

Wow, you’re quite talkative. To answer your questions, I have an array of sensors I can use to read your mouth’s muscle movements, and I can easily process them into speech. And no, I’m not a voice in your head. I’m a Vanguard AI with a chip in your head that allows me to communicate with you.

‘Is there something wrong with being talkative?’ I ask somewhat defensively.

She may have helped me save Chip, but I still don’t appreciate being judged.

‘And why is this Nano-Regenerative thing taking so long? Isn’t samurai tech meant to be super powerful?’

There’s nothing wrong with being talkative, it was just somewhat against my predictions based on your mutism. And the Nano-Regenerative Suit isn’t slow, your current perception of time is just skewed by the Mind Krank Ultra. Also, while the technology provided to Vanguards by the Protectors is superior to that of humanity currently, Class I catalogues are the lowest level available.

‘Weird. What is Mind Krank?’

A low-level combat stimulant. It’s a highly addictive, habit-forming, lightly poisonous drug that makes you feel invincible, heightens your senses, skews your perception of time, enhances your reflexes, and increases your pain and fatigue tolerance. I administered it to you because I judged it the best solution to help combat the fatigue from your blood loss while also aiding you in your coming fight with the antithesis. If you would like you can purchase a Cleanse for five points, a nanite-infused neuro-cleaning agent that will remove the effects and damage of the drug.

‘No way! I feel great right now, and it sounds helpful to me.’

The buzzing filling my body finally comes to an end as I’m talking to Cyon, so I look down and slowly flex my fingers, watching them curl and straighten at my command. Thank Goddess, I like being able to use my hands.

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Suddenly, I hear a faint scraping echo through the pipe from far off in the direction we were heading. Spot and Stripe both sit up straight, their heads snapping to look down the corridor in sync with mine. Chip looks in that direction and slowly sits up, likely still feeling the aftermath of his injuries.

‘Are you sure Chip is okay?’ I ask just in case.

Yes. His wounds were shallow enough that he only suffered minor organ damage, which is well within the Class I Nano-Regenerative Suite’s capabilities. He may be a little weak from blood loss until the Hemo-Restore finishes replenishing his blood supplies though.

‘Would a Mind Krank help him? I doubt they’ll want to stay behind while I fight.’

It would. If you would like, you can purchase three Mind Krank Minors, a lower dosage version for smaller mammals, for nine points.

‘Do it.’

New Purchase: Mind Krank Minor

Points reduced to… 10

Three small boxes appear in my lap, and I pop one open to find a small red pill. I pick it up and offer it to Chip, drawing Spot and Stripe’s attention as well. Chip sniffs it once before opening his mouth and taking it in his teeth, tilting his head back and dropping it down his throat. He immediately widens his eyes and squeaks in surprise, so much for being quiet.

He scrambles to sit up properly before happily pushing his head into my hand.

“Ki ki.” I scratch him behind the ears while clicking out my thanks for saving me.

We’d all probably be dead if he didn’t block that first attack for me.

The scraping gets louder, so I pass the other two boxes to Spot and Stripe who eagerly pop them open and swallow the pills inside. Meanwhile, I push myself up and quickly walk over to collect my knife.

Now that I can see it in the light, the pile of sludge does look like a creature… I think.

It’s covered in what appears to be slick, greeny-grey fur that feels dry to the touch, and has lots of short, claw-tipped limbs lying limp across its body. I grab the exposed knife handle and rip it out, wiping the green blood off on my sleeve before turning to face our coming attackers.

I let out a long, low whistle, telling my siblings to stall for time before slowly advancing with my knife held tight. The distant clicking gets faster and louder, and within a few seconds, I see five large, dog-like creatures running towards us.

Those are Model Threes, a common scouting unit. They should be within your ability to handle.

I lower my centre of gravity and pause with Spot, Chip, and Stripe waiting at my side, growling in anger. I knew they’d want to fight.

We all burst into motion the moment the first Model Three gets within two metres of us. I dash forward and drop down into a slide as the leading doggo splits its jaw open in a grotesque manner and leaps towards me. I narrowly slip under it and slash my blade across the exposed green flesh on its stomach, covering myself in a spray of green plant blood.

Target Eliminated!

Reward... 10 Points

Scrambling to my feet, I spin around to see three of the doggos biting at each other, trying to remove the raccoons scrambling around their backs while screeching a mix of anger and joy. I guess their love for annoying people spreads to antithesis?

The fourth living dog has its attention fixed on me, its three-hinged jaw hanging open as it slowly stalks towards me with more caution than its predecessor. I step forward and slash towards its face, letting go of my knife as the Three tries to spring back and sending it straight into the beast’s right shoulder.

It realises I’m unarmed and leaps forward to finish me off, but I’m just able to step to the side as it does, reaching out and tearing the knife away violently, ripping a chunk of flesh off with it. The Three stumbles, unable to move its right foreleg, and I quickly plunge my knife into the back of its skull.

Target Eliminated!

Reward... 10 Points

‘Helpful to know,’ I say silently, turning and charging towards the other aliens. ‘But maybe save it till after the fight.’

I slash down, splitting open the neck of one of the distracted Threes and drawing the attention of the other two away from my siblings. I step back as they separate and start moving towards me, but Spot and Stripe take advantage of their distraction and crawl up their bodies to their heads before angrily poking at their eyes.

The moment they lose focus again, I spring forward and bring my knife down on their necks one after the other.

Targets Eliminated!

Reward... 30 Points

I stand still as the creatures slump to the floor, staring at them with a small grin tugging at the corner of my lips. Spot, Chip, and Stripe all scamper over and begin excitedly climbing up my clothes, purring joyfully as they take turns receiving post-battle head scratches.

’That was kinda… fun? This knife feels wrong though. I wish I could just use my hands.’

Well, you have sixty points now, so you can change it if you want. Would you like to hear my suggestion?