“You can’t give them human thoughts; the poor raccoons will get depression!”

--A raccoon rights activist arguing against genetic modification online.

[“What?”] I ask, tilting my head to the side again.

All of my siblings mimic me, and Gwen pauses for a moment before responding, clearly appreciating their adorableness!

[“You and your raccoons pickpocket people, right?”]

I nod, pulling up a small note in my augs and asking Cyon for four more Nutri Packs that conveniently appear before me and my siblings. I’m gonna waste so many points on these things.

[“You drove one of our professors mad, so people talked about you a lot on campus for a while. They started calling you the Trash Bandit.”]

[“Why? That’s so random.”]

[“I think it’s kind of fitting. You steal things, and you have three darling little trash pandas.”]

Trash pandas? Huh… That’s kinda cute.

[“I see you don’t mind anymore,”] Gwen giggles, glancing at my tail swishing happily behind me.

My cheeks don’t heat up again, and if Cyon tells you otherwise, she’s lying to you!

[“It’s decided then; that’s your Samurai name!”]

[“Wait, what?”]

[“It’s tradition for the first Samurai that meets you after your awakening to give you your name, and that’s what I’m choosing!”]

Gwen’s cheerful grin cracks as her head snaps to the side, looking at something I can’t see.

[“Damn, I gotta go,”] she says, turning back to me with an irritated expression that quickly relaxes. [“Well, it was lovely to meet you. Stay safe and I’ll talk to you later, Cutie.”]

She cuts the call with a wink, before I can even respond. I bury my face in Stripe’s fur and feel my Symbiote slide up the back of my head to pat me.

Maybe I should name them?

I can’t help but notice you were far less talkative with Vanguard Newtonian than with me.

“Shush,” I whine into Stripe, receiving a rumbled purr in response from her, and the requested silence from Cyon.

After a few seconds of breathing fur, I sit up with a sigh, looking over at the syringes waiting next to me.

“We should probably get going,” I mutter, grabbing one of the injectors and bringing it to Stripe.

{This one may suck,} I squeak in warning, but Stripe offers me her belly without resistance.

I give her the injection and she shudders for a moment before turning over and looking up at me with tears building in her beady little eyes.

{Why does everything feel so hopeless?} she asks a surprisingly complicated question that breaks my heart.

I pull her into my chest, gently scratching behind her ears.

‘What did that do to her?!’

One of the side effects of Human Thoughts is a light sense of existential dread. She will adjust to it after a few moments, and the effects will completely fade after the drug is cleaned from her system.

I hum an unhappy grumble, but after a few seconds Stripe rubs her head against me one last time before pulling away.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

{Fine now,} she squeaks, hopping out of my lap and walking over to wait by the door as Spot and Chip move over to receive their Human Thoughts.

Two more fluff ball hugs later and we’re ready to leave. I stand up to follow Stripe out, before pausing with a frown.

“Wait… Where are my knives?”

I glance down at my trousers, but there is now a pocket where my strap used to be.

For small items like your knives, your Symbiote is capable of holding them.

I reach down, and the pocket’s top opens to let my hand in, where I find my knives waiting for me.

“Cool. Thanks, Sim,” I say, patting my pocket.

Sim wiggles against my back in response. I think they like my wonderful naming!

I move through the small home towards the window I entered through, covering my face with Sim.

‘Okay, where should I go?’

Thanks to Vanguard Newtonian you have been given root access to most of the city’s data systems without the need for another catalogue. I can tell you that despite the limited information available from the undercity, I have picked out four main hotspots of Antithesis activity. Two are possible nests, the other two are unlikely suspects.

‘What are the unlikely ones?’ I ask, slipping out onto the street and seeing a few more dead dogs added to the piles of bodies I should probably deal with.

Those would be the passage to the uppercity, and the White Rhino’s compound in the East. Both areas have large amounts of people gathered, so the amount of Antithesis activity is understandable if worrying.

‘Great. Can I have some flesh melters to deal with this?’

Could I suggest purchasing a few canisters of White Dream S0 instead? This strain of bacteria will spread quickly, tainting all of the biomass here before slowly breaking it down. Two canisters, at five points each, will be enough to handle this battlefield.

‘Sure.’

Two big glass cylinders, each the size of one of my siblings, appear on the ground in front of me. They both have shiny metal casings on either end, and they’re filled with a translucent white liquid.

Set them at either end of the battlefield and activate them. This bacteria is harmless to you and your siblings, so you needn’t worry about it. Still, normal humans may suffer nausea if they are exposed, so I suggest you warn the Monkey Parade and let them know they can dispose of any bodies by adding them to the pile.

“Urgh,” I groan at the idea of talking to the gangsters again. “Can’t Stripe talk to them for me?”

Yes. Well, in a way. I doubt your sister would like to talk to them any more than you would, but if you would like, you can purchase a speaker from the general catalogue for one point to mount on her bag. I’ll be able to speak through it to warn them, if that’s more convenient.

“Yes, let’s do that! Yippee for Protector technology!”

That’s… never mind.

A small black box spawns in front of me, so I snatch it out of the air and pop it open to find a small button. I take it out and place it against one of the straps going over Stripe’s shoulder, where it adheres on its own.

{Please go find the gangsters. Let Cyon talk to them,} I ask her, receiving an eager nod before she turns and bolts towards their compound.

{You two set these up please,} I ask the other two, watching them lift the tubes of bacteria above their heads without any issues before scampering off over the piled-up plant corpses.

“So, what about the other two locations?”

That would be the dump and Sanicorp’s processing plant. Both locations indicate high activity currently and would have easily slipped under the radar when the hive originally took root.

“Will it have been obvious if there was a hive there?”

Yes. A similar structure to the one you saw in the pipes earlier would have been present.

“Okay, the original hive at least wasn’t in the dump. We live there and I haven’t seen anything like that recently.”

Understood. Sanicorp’s plant is the most likely location for the hive. However, could I suggest clearing at least one of the other areas first to build up points and make a few more purchases? This hive will be a lot harder to deal with than your first and I would recommend you don’t take it lightly.

“Hmm. In that case, let’s cut across to White Rhinos before hitting the dump to grab my parents.”

I’ll plan your route now and update your map. Also, your parents are still alive?

“No, they died,” I correct her, my ears and tail drooping. “They were old and passed over a year ago now, but I kept their skulls…”

I see. In that case, would you be interested in investing in cloning technology? As long as the sample is undamaged, you will be able to create clones of your parents.

“Really?”

The idea sounds appealing for a moment, but something odd settles in my gut.

“Actually… I think cloning could be cool, but I’m not sure I want to recreate my parents. They already lived their lives and passed; it just wouldn’t be them anymore.”

Leave the restful souls to their eternal slumber. Understood.

“What?”

If cloning interests you, it would be both a relatively efficient way to achieve your goal of populating the British Isles with raccoons, and a good way to keep yourself and your siblings safe.

“Really? How would it keep us safe?” I ask, shrugging off Cyon’s quirks and rolling with the tangent.

You could create clone bodies identical to the original and control them remotely. It would still give you the satisfaction of fighting plants face to face, but you and your siblings can keep your main bodies far detached from danger.

“Will I still get full points?”

For a clone you’re controlling? Yes. You will get reduced points from other clones fighting for you, but just like your siblings, they can be given child implants for your D.E.N system to mitigate that.

“Okay, that sounds awesome. Does that mean I can have multiple me’s?”

Yes.

“Add that to my list.”