Li Vs That Satan Cursed Hole

Li watched eir reflection sway in the inky darkness of the void, eir distorted shape looking at em with concerned eyes. The reflections pale blue overalls were worn and patched, bulging at odd angles where tools pushed at the coarse material. The short, twisted figure in the darkness leaned heavily on a polished mahogany cane as Li watched.

The reflection was etched with age, ey radiated the kind of tiredness earned by years of hard graft and unrelenting optimism. Eir whole body - from steel toe capped boots to eir smile creased eyes - was a worn, well used thing, as immaculately clean and well-kept as the worn cloth that clothed it.

The elegant elderly figure tentatively pulled eir weight of eir stick. Braced emself and raised the stick to jab it slowly into the inky surface of the void that separated reflection from reality.

The surface rippled and the reflection exploded into a thousand rippling shapes as silver threads burst forth from the surface. Each ignited as it hit the air, the room transformed into a kaleidoscope of flickering white shadows.

Li pulled the cane back from the surface of the void, its end smouldering where the sturdy rubber had begun to warp and heat and plunged it into the buckle of water to the left of em with a sharp hiss of steam. Tentatively ey inspected the end of the cane, warped, and burnt – the end would need replacing later, but for now it was still usable. Eir bad leg gave a spasm of relief as ey returned eir weight to the cane and turned to the observing Red.

“Well Red, I had to see it to understand it, but somehow you have a hole to the void where you should have a wall.”

Ey frowned at the void, which was still rippling with energy where Li had poked it.

“How long will that…stuff be doing that for? We can start whilst it is doing it, but I would rather not.”

Red smiled and flicked open a black backed notepad, clearly pleased to have a question with a concrete answer.

“In my observations we have a range of between one and a quarter hours, six seconds and three micros as the maximum and seventeen minutes, zero seconds and nine micros as the minimum.”

Their smile widened as Li nodded thoughtfully and she continued with renewed vigour.

“The mean is exactly point five seven of an hour! Oh, and I’m sure you need the medium and mode too don’t you!”

Li zoned out as Red explained their methodology in excruciating detail. Content that she knew what she was doing, but willing to let eir fiend have the enjoyment of giving the full explanation. As she continued Li absentmindedly considered eir next options.

Thirty-five (ish) minutes was far too long to wait between tests, and the variance was a major annoyance. Best just to plunge on ahead, and work with the assumption that the stillness of the void was no safer than a moving one.

Ey clapped Red on the back with eir free hand.

“Good detail Red! Thank you for the clarity. We will begin now! Your notes have explained why we can not wait for the void to calm down so we shall push ahead rather than waiting.”

Red nodded her agreement, but Li was already rooting around in eir overalls for the list ey had made earlier.

Ey found it quickly, a piece of A5, printed in 10pt times new roman on uneven hand pressed paper, the first letter of each word capitalised in what eir husband referred to as “A crime against typography”.

Project: Doorway To The Blurred Void

Location: Red’s

Design: Boltable Double Door - With Barricade For Safety

Material: A Void Resistant Material

Notes: Material Unknown – Test Rubber, Bricks, Oak And Steel Before Starting Building.

Li read through eir notes, paused, and carefully drew a line through the word “Rubber” with a frown. Biz and Li had agreed that rubber had been the most likely to work, but that didn’t mean Li had nothing else to hand.

On the floor next to em was a canvas bag of cut offs, the leftovers from recent projects; brick, oak, and steel of course, but a variety of other random bits and bobs in the event that those three also proved vulnerable to the void. Hopefully it would be enough to establish a pattern of behaviour at least.

Ey pulled out the first of the test objects, a diagonally cut section of brickwork rough with dried mortar. It was the remnant of a past project, the adjustment of a fireplace if Li recalled correctly. The section was about a handspan across, with an uneven hole drilled into its centre.

Li attempted to ignore the scritch-scratch of Red’s pen as ey knelt down before the shimmering darkness. Carefully Li placed the broken brickwork on the floor and pushed it forwards with eir cane until it was embedded just barely in the inky darkness of the void.

For a moment, there was a pregnant almost-silence. The room filled only with the soft sounds of bubbling darkness, shuffled footsteps and held breaths.

Then there was an explosion.

A blast of cold air and grey light.

A blinding flash of energy that glowed bright through clenched shut eyes.

When the pair felt safe to re-open their eyes, nothing was left of the brick save a few scorch marks and darkness of the void – unperturbed in its rippling.

Red began to make notes, rapid hand movements jerkily marking the black backed book with incomprehensible words and sketches, numb to the world beyond the pages. Li for eir part drew a single uneven line through the word marked “Brick” with trembling numb fingers and picked a chunk of oak wood from the bag of materials.

The test piece was uneven beneath eir shaking palm. A rough chunk of oak from a long-forgotten project, cracked, and broken where a hidden knot had proven disastrous to the project. With extortionary care, Li placed it on the floor far from the mercurial darkness and poked it towards the void with eir cane. Pushed closer and closer, till the leading edge was mere centimetres from the roiling rippling darkness.

The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

Li turned a concerned face back to Red and felt dread rise in eir stomach as ey saw her poised and ready for the next experiment. Their pen raised ready to take note of whatever should occur, only excitement in her ink-stained face. Li turned back to the void, sure in the knowledge that even if ey left at that instant. The experiments would continue, with or without eir help.

Li’s hands trembled as ey pushed the oak chunk forwards into the hungry darkness, and the awful moment of stillness returned to hang for a moment between them.

Horrible, deep, silence.

Then a sharp pop, loud as a gunshot rang through the room.

The oak wood had cracked near in half.

A Second and third pop filled the room, then a flurry of noise as a cacophony of noise filled the room, each marked by a fissure in the hard oak wood. Li watched in horror as an invisible force cracked and crushed the oak, grinding the sturdy wood down into a fine sawdust over the course of a few seconds.

Li looked back at oblivious Red, eir face pale and drained by the consecutive violence.

“Red, how….” Ey trailed off into mandarin for a moment, eir befuddled brain struggling as it reached for the English words.

“Red, how did you get not-killed by that… Satan cursed hole?!”

Red shrugged between sentences and indicated the crumpled suit to one side of the door without looking up from her detailed notes.

“Al made that; I was fine.”

Li took a deep breath and braced emself against eir cane and made eir way towards the crumpled fabric.

Ey examined it with a critical eye. Sewing wasn’t really eir thing, but Al’s skill was obvious. It had made the perfect airtight suit for Red. Perfectly stitched, carefully sealed and with not a single thread out of place. Completely unmarked and unharmed by its trip through the void.

Red moved around in the background muttering as ey examined the miraculously intact fabric. Li ignored her, there was something here. Something off about this fabric, soft and flexible, with not so much as a scratch of fray.

Li found eir eyes drawn to Red. She stood before the inky darkness of the calming void, her reflection a barely coalesced smear across the rippling expanse. As always, she looked in a frightful way. The waistcoat, originally rose-coloured velvet, was stained and marked with streaks of black ink. The crimson jacket disproportionally frayed, its pockets ripped and torn by the sharp edges of too-large notepads.

Even her trousers were worn and damaged, the black pinstripes scattered with small burns. Simply put, Red NEVER took care of her clothing. To give Red something to wear was to consign it to a quick death, and yet… That suit, worn into the dark unknown of the void? – Untouched in such a hostile place? That could not, should not be.

Li looked back at eir lanky accomplice; did she realise?

“Red, look at this.” Ey gestured for them to look at the wrinkled suit.

“The suit you wore for your trip into the void. It is completely… intact! Not one scratch on it.”

Red nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah, I was dead chuffed. Didn’t have to change the diagram at all! Al did a really good job!”

Li shook eir head.

“No Red, you do not understand. Al can not have done this, no one could. The void melted rubber, it exploded a brick and shattered oak into dust. But this fabric is unharmed?? That is more than impossible, that is…”

Ey struggled for a second before electing to borrow a phrase from eir husband.

“…Feck’in inconceivable.”

Red looked up from her notepad aghast, the outburst startling them out of their note taking trance. Abruptly she placed the notepad to one side and scrutinised Li’s face. Ey watched as she made note of the nervous sweat as it dripped down eir trembling brow. Realisation dawned in their eyes as she looked at em, and Li saw her focus shift instantly as the moment clicked.

“Li, you look like you need a sit down, some tea maybe. A biscuit or two...?”

Li nodded eir agreement, the stress was doing em no good.

“Yes, you are right. I will sit in the other room for a moment….. I-I think you need to get Jack though.

I think- I think the void choose not to hurt you – to fix your suit rather than destroy it.

This seems less and less like science with every second, I think we might need help from our magic spider friend.”

Li gave a wane smile at the absurdity of the sentence and allowed Red to pull em out of the room and into the note strewn bedroom opposite. She vanished for a minute or so and returned with an egregiously strong cup of tea and a packet of stale hobnobs.

It was a gesture Li appreciated, with eir nerves as ey were, ey really didn’t feel up to climbing the steps back down to the kitchen. Perhaps if ey just closed eir eyes for a second – just a second’s meditative rest and then ey’d be calm enough to drink that awful cup of tea and wait for Red’s return with Jack.

Just a second to rest eir eyes...

No time seemed to pass for the exhausted Li before eir eyes snapped open to the sound of clomping boots and scuttling legs.

Red had seemed to return with Jack so soon, but a glance at the stone-cold mug of tea told Li another story. Ey groaned and pushed eir stiff body to its feet, leaning between eir cane and the badly chipped paint of the doorframe as ey tried to get back eir balance.

As ey heard the five pairs of legs contact the landing floor Li pushed open the door to the room ey had been resting in.

“Took you long enough!”

Li paused before continuing, ey had not spoken to Jack since he was introduced to the other denizens of the street by a flustered Al a few days ago and it was quite beyond em at this point to recall the nuances of that first conversation. Fortunately, and quite accidently, Red came to eir rescue with an excited grin.

“Yes, its interesting isn’t it! The addition of a single – If large - building to the street has thrown all of my maps out! I have managed to correct for the distances so far, but the time dilation is still a fascinating variable that I have yet to nail down! Though, obviously I have got my notes updated so far I can only get the variables down to one decimal place….”

For the first time in eir long life Li was on the receiving end of a concerned glance from an enormous spider as Jack leaned close and whispered into Li’s ear. His voice, a worn, harsh, creeping, reminded of his inhumanity.

“Is she unwell? They have been in this state for the whole of our journey… Is this considered normal behaviour for humans of your kingdom?”

Li cracked a genuine smile for the first time that day and whispered back to the crouched spider.

“Not most humans, no… but for Red this is the expected behaviour.” Ey paused for a second and added “Honestly I find it quite endearing!”

Jack inclined his head and followed Li into the room ahead. Once they were all arrayed Li gave Jack and Red a quick summary of eir theory and how ey hopped Jack might be able to test it for magic or the like.

When ey had finished, Jack nodded once, his chitinous bulk rippling with a rainbow of shimmering reflections as it caught the light.

“A small task for me, my mortal friends! My family line has long been experts at the tracking and location of dark and dastardly beings. I know just the spell. Please both of you, step back – this will take but a moment!”

Jack raised his front legs to the celling and began to move in a careful dance, each leg tracing a glowing rune upon the floor with its swaying movements. As each rune was finished, he began to glow, the light and energy building. His movements were soon disguised in an eerie outline of blazing white light held in sharp contrast to the all-consuming darkness of the far wall.

Then abruptly, the light stopped, and Jack collapsed crumpled on the floor, the runes winking out around him as the room was thrown back into the comparative dimness of electrical lighting.

Li and Red stood stunned, was this a part of the magic? Or had something gone wrong? Time ticked on as they waited paralysed by uncertainty.

Finally, Jacks crumpled form shuddered and then began to move his legs shifting around him as he struggled to raise his head and speak.

“Friends, there is something there. I do not think…..I do not think it is evil, at least not like any evil I have seen.”

He took a deep gasp of air, his voice sounded somehow more worn, more ancient and ethereal when outlined by the silence of his caught breaths.

“But, neither is it good that I can see. It is vast being– vast beyond words. We must think carefully before we act further”

The spider stood and swayed for a moment. Then balance corrected he began to move with painful, exaggerated care out the doorway, slowly fleeing to the safety of the warm kitchen beneath. Without a second's pause Red and Li followed, keen to leave the creeping darkness and the ‘vast being’ within.

As the door clicked shut behind them the blurred void shifted, the darkness taking on the rough countenance of a face as a soft voice mused to the empty room. The voice leaking from the void like the gentle flow of a summer stream through loose soil.

“Good and Evil? What a curious concept.…”