“You missed a spot.” I commented offhandedly to the blond-haired girl who was currently scrubbing the floors of my “new” starship Boatsy. I say “new” not because it was a used ship, but because it had been a giant mess. Hortur had been forced into buffering out scorch marks from various fire-related incidents. Namely faulty wires that shorted out after our first warp to light speed. Thanks to Aya’s quick calculations and power redirections, we had been saved from being blasted into space dust.

Gorbuul and I were going to have harsh words when I decided to contact him again. Very harsh words. Thanks to those unforeseen events, we had been forced to make a pit stop in a nearby solar system for repairs and some much needed supplies. Namely, the mop that Princess Egyle was currently scrubbing the ship with. And we had to be quick about things, as the Kingdom’s forces were most assuredly on our tail.

While almost dying to faulty wiring was pretty bad, I’m still not sure if that was the defining moment of knowing we had gotten a bad deal. During the flight after our first pit-stop, the toilets clogged and refused to atomize our waste. I almost lost a hand trying to unclog one of those bastards. Needless to say, I took a long shower after that to wash away the shame of being elbow deep in excrement. Egyle had refused to look me in the eyes since that incident. I guess even space girls hate admitting that they poop.

There was also the time we found a dessicated corpse hidden within a secret compartment in the engineering quarters. I had been forced to vent our air supplies before docking in yet another system to suck out the smell of death and decay. Even with fresh containers, the faint stench of despair never truly left, as if it had been soaked into the metal itself.

“Ugh, I hate this.” Princess Egyle groaned as she wiped the sweat from her forehead.

“Better than being an alien sex toy.” I remarked as buttons clicked and beeped at the controls. As far as I was concerned, I wanted to get as far from the kingdom’s capital as possible.

“Easy for you to say! You barely do anything! Hortur and I are the ones doing all the work!”

“I incinerated the bedsheets the first night under direct orders from the boss.” I pointed to my cranium, “Thanks to her, we’re not sleeping in sheets covered in old alien spunk. I’ve also been purchasing all our supplies since your mother froze your account. So until you can actually do something useful, you get to scrub floors.” A sad look shot across her face as she returned to her task wordlessly.

Princess Egyle had turned relatively meek during our first stop. She had requested if she could purchase some new clothes and I agreed, so long as she paid. Happily, she had had attempted to buy a few sets, only to find she was locked out of her own money. When that happened she seemed to simply shut down inside. I had been forced to pay out of my own pocket for them in her place. She had returned to the ship after accepting them without a word.

‘Too far Captain.’ Aya scolded with a firm voice.

‘Nah, she’s fine. A little hazing builds character.’

‘Her tear ducts are currently expelling liquids.’

‘Thats called crying Aya. Its a tactic used by children to guilt their parents into doing what they want.’

‘Do you consider yourself her parent now?’

‘Oh hell no. I’m just going to force some discipline into her so she learns humility. Once we’ve got things straightened out, I’ll send her right back to her family. For now, all we need is some time for people to cool down.’

‘That sounds very parental.’

‘Shut up.’

“Egyle, go ahead and take a break. We’ll be arriving in the Jochtek system in about twenty minutes. We should be able to dock and relax for a few hours.”

“Thanks.” She sighed and set the mop and bucket off in the corner of the bridge close to the exit. A moment later and I was alone on the bridge with Aya humming happily in my head. I rolled my eyes,

‘Damn robot.’

‘I am not a robot.’ She huffed in my head.

‘No you’re not, but it annoys the hell out of you so you’ll always be a robot to me.’

With the click of a button, I activated the ship comms.

“Hortur report, what have you got for me?” I had to wait a few moments before the response came.

“Four of the six plasma cannons are inoperable in their current state Captain.” With everything else going to hell in a hand basket, I asked Hortur to check the weapons. Glad I did, this ship was all sorts of fucked up.

“Damn.” I had hoped those would have been fine. We hadn’t needed to use them yet thankfully. But as my pops once said when he handed me my first rubber, ‘Its better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.’ “Any chance of repairs?”

“Negative Captain. Judging by the damage, they’ll need to be replaced.”

“Fuck my ass.” I groaned in frustration, there goes another chunk of change down the shitter. “Alright, we’ll be leaving warp in twenty. Might be another ten to dock.”

“Acknowledged, Engineering out.”

This ship was turning into one giant disaster. The only good thing that happened to us so far is that after cleaning out the hidden compartment of that corpse, we found a stash of guns. According to Hortur, they were Kalasy Mk III’s which were a type of rapid-fire assault rifles that shot concentrated bolts of energy instead of the metal slugs I was used to. A shame we hadn’t had the chance to test them out, I’ve always wanted to blast some shit with lasers.

With a long stretch, I rose from my seat. It was time for a quick shower and a bite to eat. The food replicators may produce fake-tasting mush, but at least it was edible. Before I could reach the door to leave the bridge, it opened. In entered a very distraught looking Egyle in a state of semi-undress whose face blushed deep crimson. I couldn’t even begin to ask what was wrong before she walked behind me, wrapped her arms around my stomach, and began thrusting her pelvis against my posterior.

“…Egyle.” I spoke, trying to keep my voice level.

“Y-y-ye-” She couldn’t even form full words as she awkwardly crashed against me over and over.

“What are you doing?”

“I-I…y-you…” She stammered. “Co-co-comm…”

‘I believe she took your words as a command earlier Captain. You were using the ship-wide comms after all.’

“Egyle, stop.” I commanded. In an instant, she ceased her actions. Incoherent mumbling was all the communication she could muster. “Go back to your break.” My tone brokered no argument as Egyle nodded and rushed from the bridge.

‘Aya.’

‘I’ll not tell a soul.’

‘Good girl.’

——————————————————————————————————

High heels clicked against stone as Queen Risat Salyzan walked through halls as ancient as time itself. Her red robes flowed behind her gracefully as the crown upon her head shimmered in the day’s light that peaked through stained glass windows. While her husband was out hunting the ‘Hero’ he should have killed when he had the chance, she had opted to return home to manage the Kingdom. At least, thats what she had told her husband. The moment Egyle had been discovered missing, she had severed her daughter’s connection to their funds without a second thought.

As far as she was concerned, Egyle was lost to them. A shame, but sacrifices must be made for the good of the kingdom. Even if it is your own flesh and blood that must be cut away. If only she could do the same to her husband. She knew he would spend the rest of his days chasing after their daughter in a futile attempt to save her.

‘The fool should be commanding their forces against the growing Demon rebellion!’ Queen Salyzan raged in her mind. Word had reached her that an entire sector was currently in open rebellion, with more worlds joining by the day. ‘If he will not crush them, then I’ll just find someone who can.’

Human Nobles from nearby systems watched her closely as she entered the massive hall where Heroes had been summoned from times long gone. As far as scientists were able to determine, the procedure of summoning was akin to folding space between this room and a random location around the universe. Somehow, it always resulted in teleporting an easily manipulated person who would carry out the crown’s bidding. At least, it was supposed to. Something had gone wrong with the last summoning.

‘Perhaps it was due to the Demon Lord’s influence?’ Queen Salyzan wondered to herself as she walked to her throne. With a sigh, she sat and overlooked the Hall of the Hero. Not as many Nobles had come to this summoning as before. This was an impromptu event born of necessity rather than a planned ceremony like before. Things would be different this time, she was sure of it.

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“Let us begin.” She commanded from her throne as she held her hands together in prayer. For reasons unknown to even their top researchers, the technology located within this building would only work when it sensed great desperation. It was advanced technology, far beyond what they could accomplish themselves. Queen Salyzan hated the feeling of knowing there were forces beyond her Kingdom’s.

As the Nobles knelt and prayed alongside their Queen, a bright light began to manifest in the center of the hall. Gasps and cries of surprise echoed through the hall as the light began to take form. There, standing in the center of the room, was an alien. Ten legs sprouted from an elongated body like that of a centipede. Four long, spindly arms ended in pincers with which to grab. Sixteen eyes stared directly at the Queen in confusion.

“Where-” The creature began to speak as a loud zap rung out in the hall. The Queen stared with great displeasure at the smoking corpse in the middle of the room. With a sigh, she returned the blaster to the hidden pocket of her dress. Quiet murmurs filled the hall as a pair of guards dragged away the corpse. After a few moments of tense silence, the Queen ordered the Nobles to pray once more.

She would never allow her people to be saved by an alien again.

——————————————————————————

“Leaving warp now.” I noted to the crew as we sat at our respective stations on the bridge. Like a million specks of light, far off stars suddenly appeared the instant we left hyperspace. Jochtek was a nice little solar system. Two big gas giants orbiting the outer layer, while close to the yellow sun were a pair of habitable planets. One, Jochtek II, was an earth-like world with plenty of water to allow for vegetation and life to grow. Jochtek IV however was an island paradise. An Ocean world dotted with many, many archipelagos. It was a vacation paradise, and thats exactly where we were headed. Not for relaxation, but because thats where the main space station was located.

“I wish we could visit the Tirarch Isles on IV.” Hortur spoke dreamily. “They’re supposed to be very nice this time of year.”

“Father brought me there once.” Princess Egyle smiled sadly, “The sandy beaches were very enjoyable.”

“Last time I went to the beach I saw a seagull strangle to death on a plastic soda can holder thing.” I snorted, “Good riddance. I hate those fucking birds.”

“This is Captain Yvael Trondus, requesting immediate assistance from any nearby vessels. We are currently under attack by a group of Ripped Scar vessels.” A calm, yet urgent, voice broke into our conversation through the comms. “I repeat, this is Captain-” I shut off the communicator before her message could repeat.

“I hate spam.”

“Aren’t we going to help?” Princess Egyle asked from the tactical station.

“Well that entirely depends on the situation Princess. What does tactical have to say about it?” She stared towards me confused for a moment before realization dawned on her. With quick fingers, Princess Egyle turned to her station and began working. While she was busy with that, I steered the ship towards the distress signal source. Aya had already given me the details, I just wanted to see how the Princess would act.

“Captain, three small vessels, possibly Fighter or Corvette sized, are engaging a small freighter not far from our current position.” She spoke while pouring over holographic screens.

“Any sign of system security coming to aid?”

“Yes, but it’ll take them awhile. I don’t know if the freighter will last that long against that many.” She sighed sadly.

“As much as I’d like to assist Captain, we simply aren’t combat ready right now.” Hortur noted from the engineering station. A pained look crossed the Princess’ face as she stared at Hortur before turning her attention to me.

“Don’t worry Hortur, its only two Fighters and a Corvette. And Princess, the Freighter will be fine until help arrives. Though it will sustain a fair bit of hull damage. But other than that, it should be able to hold its own just fine. If we get involved though, it should be no problem.”

“How do you-” The Princess began but stopped as I pointed to my head.

“A little voice told me so. Now, lets go be heroes.”

“Captain Yvael, this is Captain Chet of the Boatsy.” I spoke into the communicator. “We’re not in the best shape, but we’ll help.” A relieved sigh came over the comms,

“Thank you Captain. I’ll take any help I can get at this point.”

“No worries Captain. At best we’ll be able to scare them off. At worst, I’ll take a few bullet holes as well.”

“Either way, I’ll owe you a drink Captain. Yvael out.”

With full power to thrusters, we charged to Yvael’s aid. Engines rumbled as our momentum increased steadily. Once we had reached a good enough speed, I killed the engines and spun the ship around. Our inertia would carry us just passed the freighter and her friends. Once the distance was closed, it was go time.

“Who wants to man the guns?” I asked my fearless crewmen.

“Me!” “Goodness I’d be happy to.” The both spoke at the same time.

“Sorry Hortur, Princess beat you by three tenths of a second. Better luck next time.”

“Yes!” Egyle cheered as she jumped from tactical to gunnery. “Just give me a good angle and they’re gone.” She boasted as she placed a helmet over her head. The visor would allow her to see the outside of the ship so she could fire the weapons more accurately. Her hands grabbed the controls with highly practiced motions.

Thanks to Aya, I could link in to what Egyle was currently seeing. A tactical screen covered my vision, as a targeting reticule hovered over a marked target far in the distance. The reticule was red, signifying that the target was too far to be engaged effectively. When we were closer, it would turn green when she could fire. Nifty bit of software that.

As we approached, Aya scanned Yvael’s ship. Her turrets had been melted by repeated bolts of plasma, so it couldn’t fight back. And the opposing ships were currently attempting to knock out her engines as she sputtered towards us.

‘Something is wrong here Captain.’ Aya noted as she finished her scan of the Freighter.

‘Yeah, they want that ship intact. But why?’

‘Her cargo isn’t listed in any public files.’

‘That explains it. Shes carrying some good shit if it isn’t listed.’

‘Agreed. I’ll attempt to find out exactly what it is she is carrying.’

“Firing!” Egyle shouted as we sailed towards the engagement. Blasts of light sent a pair of liquid plasma globules flying through the darkness of space towards her target, a small Fighter about half the size of a Corvette. After a brief delay, a second round of plasma bolts ripped from our two working cannons. With practiced, controlled shots, Egyle tore through the shields of her first target within five bursts. Plasma chewed through solid steel like butter, ripping into the interior of the ship.

A moment later, the engines of the Fighter died. It was dead in the water.

“Got one!” Princess Egyle beamed, already aiming for the next target. The green reticule turned red as the remaining two ships sped off in a hasty retreat. “Darn it. They’re running.” She sighed.

“Mission accomplished then.” I spoke.

“Captain Yvael to Captain Chet, thank you for the assistance. The bastards are running scared. Damn fine gunner you got there.”

“I agree Captain. Don’t think I could have done better myself.” I totally could have, but she did well enough I suppose.

‘Captain, we have a problem.’ Aya stated and drew my attention to the tactical display of the escaping ships. The Corvette had turned and was currently facing towards the Freighter. A large surge of energy came from the tactical readout before it turned away once more. ‘It appears that the enemy ship has fired a torpedo towards our new friend who is carrying a large amount of explosive warheads. Chance of Freighter survival are zero percent.’

“You’re shitting me.” I spoke aloud.

“Captain?” Yvael asked over the comms.

“Captain Yvael, you have two minutes to get out of your ship now by any means necessary. You have an incoming torpedo that will obliterate your ship. We’ll pick you up as soon as possible.” I commanded in a firm tone.

“What…but…” She sighed, “alright. Yvael out.”

Moments later, an escape pod jettisoned itself from the Freighter which now sat dead in space. A minute and a half later, that very same Freighter was shredded into pieces from within as the torpedo punctured through the hull and exploded, causing the explosives located within the ship to explode as well. A cascading event that, for the blink of an eye, gave Jochtek a second sun.

Oh well, you win some you lose some.

Without worrying too much, I piloted our ship towards the escape pod. After a bit of finagling and more that a few curses, we lined ourselves up so that we could bring the pod into our cargo bay. And I, as the Captain, got the honors of jumping out into space in my suit to attach cables that could be reeled into our bay to said pod. I may not have needed to do all the flips and spins that I did, but damnit I wasn’t going to pass up the chance. Soundlessly, because it was space, I landed atop the pod and attached the cables.

“Alright Egyle, reel us in.” I commanded via personal communicator. Sadly, Hortur couldn’t come into the cargo bay to do the honors. He didn’t have a space suit with him, and getting him one would be a custom job.

“Roger.”

The cables drew taught as they begun to be pulled back towards our bay. It wasn’t long until the bay doors closed behind us and the long process of restoring air and gravity began. Once it was safe, I removed my helmet and took a deep breath of stale, purified air. I then knocked on the escape pod door twice, letting Yvael know it was safe. Magnetic seals in a hiss, and the door retracted back into the pod.

“Ahh.” Yvael spoke as she walked from the pod in a skin-tight white space suit. Judging from her appearance, she was almost as tall as me. Long arms fumbled about her helmet for a moment before the hiss of air of it unsealing sounded out. With the helmet out of the way, I could finally see our new friend in the flesh. Blue skin glistened in the light as her golden eyes affixed upon my own. Long black hair tied into a ponytail weaved back and forth as she shook her head in relief. A pair of small black horns jutted from her forehead. “Thanks for the rescue Captain. Kindness is a luxury around these parts.”