ihatemyself

mymindcantmoveitsmovingmymindmycantmovemybodymymindcantmovemybodyismoving

theshadowsaregrowingtheshadowsareeviltheshadowsareenemies

myheartisbeatingsoquicklyandbleedingmylungsarecoatedinbloodrecedingreplenishedbythedrugs

iamnotaheroineedtobesavediamnotaheroaprincessavillainihateiwanttobesavediwanttobesaved

thecolorsthecolorswontstop

whyisitcalledhorroristhiswhatitmeans

willmybodybecomeamonsteragainstme

mybodyiskillingmefromtheinsidemybodyisdeadwhileimstillalive

icheckedsawmybodywithmymagicandicanseemyselfdiepiecebypiece

icanseemybodyrot

Icanseemybodyrot

helpmehelpmehelpme

icanseemybodyrot

Icanseemybodyrot

help

makeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstopmakeitstop

thetinypiecesofmethatlooksolonelyandsadandsickfromsomethingicannotsee

makeitstop

ma

Now that Subject Arc has dropped her phone, I, being the mature responsible person, will now turn on voice recording! -𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘍𝘰𝘹

I feel ants in my skin. Oh wait. What skin? Oh no, what the fuck is that? The walls. The walls. What is happening to the walls? No, no, please... It's not real; it can't be real... Shadows, crawling, whispering—why won't they stop? Get away, get away. The walls are breathing, alive; they're watching. Something's crawling inside me, under my skin. I can't feel my own body.

It's closing in on me, the walls, the ceiling, everything squeezing... The colors, they bleed into each other, a swirling, mocking whirlpool... Is that... is that a hand? Fingers reaching out, but there's no one there... Voices, so many voices

They're screaming. Help me. Help me. Help me. Help me. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Crawling, crawling, something's crawling on my skin, beneath it... No, no, I can't look, can't bear to look... The pain, it's everywhere

Make it stop, please, make it stop, I'll do anything, just make it stop…

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

(Subject [Arc] screaming)

His fault, it's all their fault! Why did they do this to me? Why did they have to ruin everything? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why couldn't they just leave me alone? The colors, oh, those wicked colors, they're their doing, their creation. It's all their fault. They're laughing, mocking me, whispering secrets I can't decipher. The walls, they're closing in, pressing against me, and it's all because of them! I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe

(repeated banging)

Oh god, oh god, it's happening! I can see it, writhing on the ground, a grotesque, bloody mess. I can hear them, voices, laughter, mocking me, blaming me! It's their fault, it's their fault that I'm like this, trapped in this waking horror. My world is disintegrating, unraveling, like a sick joke. I can't escape, can't run, can't hide from the madness that's consuming me. It's all... it's all too much, too much to bear, and I'm lost in this nightmare, and it won't stop, it won't stop!

My face, my face is melting! The pain, it's burning, like acid, like fire, like my own flesh betraying me.

(Subject [Arc] screaming)

it's mocking me! Stupid fucking mirror. Let's see how you like it.

(mirror shattering)

Blood, it's everywhere, but it's not red, it's black. Why? Why? Why? Why is my blood black? My hand. My… hand. What hand? Where is my hand? it won't stop. it won't stop! No. No. No. I can feel it, deep inside, something's rotting, rotting away. It's eating me from the inside out. a decay that won't stop. My skin, it's peeling, sloughing off in chunks. It's not me, it can't be me! I'm falling apart, falling into the abyss. The abyss. The abyss. The abyss? Is that where they are?

It's their fault! All of it! I can't escape, can't run, can't hide. I'm lost. Lost. Lost. There's no exit, no relief! It's too much, too much to bear. I’m lost. I’m lost. I’m lost. I’m lost. Why? Why? Why?

(Subject [Arc] screaming)

(Subject [Arc] screaming)

(Subject [Arc] screaming)

Glass. Glass everywhere. My feet. Inside? Outside? What. what. What. help me. Help me.I can't run, can't escape, can't get away from the glass. It's their fault, all their fault!

Darkness. Can't fight it anymore, can't... Everything's fading. Colors melting together, and the walls twisting. I'm so tired, so, so tired. The pain. It's not slipping. It hurts. The pain. Please take the pain. I'm falling. Falling. Falling. Falling. Falling. Can't hold on. Can't hold on. Can't hold on. Help me. Help me.

(Loud thud)

And~ that's a wrap. I should probably do something before another Architect figures out about all this. -𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘍𝘰𝘹

----------------------------------------

Alright, let’s see. Analyze the cause of the breakdown -𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘍𝘰𝘹

[Detecting problems. . .]

[problem found]

[Subject [Arc] suffering from lethal levels of drug poisoning]

Overdose? Alright, why couldn’t you prevent it? -𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘍𝘰𝘹

[Resources were allocated away from mental stability]

Definitely not my fault. -𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘍𝘰𝘹

[. . . ]

[Requesting another Architect to solve issue]

Request denied. -𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘍𝘰𝘹

[Requesting Architect FOX to solve problem]

Request accepted. Reallocate more resources from cross-dimensional timeline stability to mental stability guarantee, myself and 0RC4 will personally handle time issues. -𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘍𝘰𝘹

[Acknowledged]

[Rerouting resources. . .]

[Resources allocated]

[Problem archived]

[Thank you, please don’t come again]

Sassy little fucker. -𝘈𝘳𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘍𝘰𝘹