Pravda wasn't the loveliest little thing that I had ever laid eyes on, but she sure came close.

Everything about her was perfect.

From her oinki little nose to her fair pink skin. To her beautiful eyes and her heart-melting voice.

Yes indeed. I was more of a dog person myself, but I could still recognize that the piglet was nothing short of adorable.

I turned her around with delicate fingers and rubbed her belly one more. Relishing the happy cries.

Her little legs flailed around with simple child-like joy. Even as her tail wagged so ferociously that I feared it might snap off and shoot up into the stratosphere.

"Oh dear lord." I said. "Being this cute should be illegal."

"I know right?" Elsie exclaimed from the side. A beaming smile on her face. "Honestly, I'm glad you liked them. Coach Russell seemed a bit worried when you got all upset over Cupcake. Back when she was an actual, literal man-eating timber wolf. But my big bro said it was probably because you were the kind of guy who liked animals to begin with. And that you'd be upset even without accounting for magic."

She tickled Pravda's side. Eliciting another round of happy squeals from the piglet.

"Yeah. I always wanted to be a zookeeper when I was a kid. My dream was to work with elephants. I used to sit by the TV all the time and watch documentaries of them walking around the savannah and being all calm around people. That, or documentaries of them in zoos or parks playing with people. I always saw that and I went all giddy. It was this... I don't know. This excitement. Because they weren't just big, but smart and kind and genuinely empathetic. They form real family bonds you know. Like humans do. They grieve for the ones they lose and they come together to care for babies. You know they can do art?"

"Yes Cecil. I know they can do art."

"And not only that. They can solve complex puzzles too. They're just, so amazing."

Mercy nodded from the side.

"Yeah. I have all those memories too. I also seem to recall mom and dad encouraging us to study hard if we wanted to be zookeepers."

Mike also nodded. Albeit more slowly.

"I also definitely recall uncle Uter sitting us down and asking us to study supply-chain management like he did."

"Oh yeah." I said. Suddenly recalling the incident. "He said that all zookeepers did was clean up animal poo. And for pennies on top of that. He also harped on some Glassdoor reviews about zookeepers losing fingers to meercats."

"It's apparently something that happens with alarming frequency." Patience told Elsie. "Uncle Uter felt like we should at least study something more respectable."

I laughed. Recalling more of the conversation.

"And then! When I still wouldn't change my mind, he showed me a bunch of videos of zookeepers having to give all kinds of medical treatments to elephants. Including an enema."

"That video gave me nightmares for weeks." Progress declared.

I felt my smile growing wider.

"Those were some good memories."

"It sounds like it." Elsie spoke softly. "It must be a special memory, for you to get this excited."

I turned a worried gaze to the calf then. Wondering if the noise would wake her up.

I needn't have bothered.

Kobe was sleeping soundly in the bigger living room adjacent to the door. Happily snoozing away the minutes while curled up in that doggie-bed Elsie got for her.

Looking at them both made my heart melt. Almost as if the primordial power of good were pushing back against Pool-Cecil within my chest.

"Oh dear lord. I feel so happy right now." I said. Clutching Pravda closer to my chest. "I just feel so happy and fulfilled when I hug her and she lets out those happy cries."

Elsie nodded sagely.

"One of those things you won't get in the city. Ya only get to hug and play with cute baby animals out here in the country."

She booped Pravda's nose.

"That, and I heard animal therapy is really effective when people have a lot of stuff on their mind. So, keep Pravda and Kobe here with you. I already asked your uncle and he said you can't bring more animals to your other house, but this is your mansion so what you say goes."

She tilted her head towards me.

"I figured you needed this. A break. Something nice and fun to remind you of all the reasons why life is worth living."

She slapped herself on the forehead.

"I mean, of course life is worth living, but I find that sometimes I can get so busy training that I forget to let in a little me time. A few moments where I can just let go, you know? I figured... since you've been so glum... that I could help you with that. So? What do you say?"

"I finally understand why Jan Mick killed all those people. If anything happened to Pravda or Kobe, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself."

Elsie seemed amused by that answer.

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Mike, on the other hand, did not seem amused.

Neither did Patience or Progress or the two D's or Mercy for that matter.

Indeed, they were starting to give Pravda and Kobe suspicious looks.

"So? They can stay here in your house?"

"Of course they can!" I said with gusto.

"Of course they can't!" Mike said. With a remarkable degree of courage for someone standing in the same room as me.

"This is OUR house now. Not your house. OUR house. I have all the memories of us doing farm work and covert domestic terrorism for the old man! I remember Alaska! And I assure you sir, I am not going to give up on my share of the bribe! No sir! I live here now! Just like you do. My name is even on the deed after the whole court thingy. I don't want farm animals pooping all over the nice floors and stinking up the carpets! We all have to live here you know! Or, we'll all have to, after uncle Uter kicks us out on account of us being clones! What? Did you think we didn't notice the odd looks? We'll be out on our butts after we turn 18 and I don't fancy having to redo all the flooring cause it's got all kinds of... animal smells!"

"Oh come on man! You're a clone of me!" I protested. "Are you really telling me you're turning down pets? After all the time we spent wanting some?"

"We do still have Cupcake." Progress reminded me. "Sometimes, when I think about the Dungeon and the Queen and the Pool and I start to break down, I go over to Cupcake and hug her tightly. Then I have myself a little cry and then I feel better."

"Me too." Said Patience.

"Me three." Said Mercy.

The two D's didn't say anything, but their thoughts were practically plastered on their faces.

"This is just like that!" I snapped. "Only better! Because we have more cute animals to hug when we feel down! We don't even have to share!"

Then, when that didn't have the desired effect, I brought up Pravda and turned her around so that she faced Mike.

"Are you going to deny her a home? Really? What kind of psycho would do that? I know coach Russell's a bastard, but even he wouldn't..."

"No. No he would." Elsie cut in. "He's a big fan of veal. He's actually the one who named Kobe. After Kobe beef. He REALLY likes Korean BBQ. If I hadn't adopted her as a gift to you then... well."

I gagged. Suddenly feeling like someone had punched me in the liver.

'Hey Other-me?'

'Yes?'

'I take back everything I said. Let's kill Russell.'

'Excellent! We can start by gaining some advantages in order to make up for the shortfall in levels. Start by kidnapping the gloomy man's children and forcing him to teleport us back to our Dungeon. Then we can begin grinding levels again and building up a bigger, more menacing army! I suggest we continue experimenting until we find a way to give Saboteurs [Space] Cores. We can then have a few suicide bombers teleport in while he's with his children. Even if the first volley doesn't kill him, he'll be too grief stricken to dogged the follow-ups!'

'Well never fucking mind I guess. Holy shit.'

I turned my attention back to Mike.

I gave him a look. Not THE look. Just A look.

Making no efforts to hide the thoughts running through my head.

The clone leapt back as if I'd pressed a hot iron to his privates. So did everyone else besides Elsie.

"Ya know... Mike. You're talking an awful lot of smack for someone standing in Ovipositor range. In fact, I'd even go so far as to say that you sound positively..."

I licked my lips. Loudly.

"Gnomish."

Mike looked confused. Apparently not fully comprehending the many layers of the threat.

Elsie hit me upside the head. Not too strongly, but just enough that it hurt.

"None of that dear." She wagged a finger at me. "Your new siblings are right. In this at least. This mansion doesn't belong only to you and we have to be considerate of roommates."

She took my hands in hers.

"That said. I didn't come with just these two cuties. I've got a fence and all the parts necessary for a small pen right there in the back of my truck."

"You have a truck?" Patience asked.

"Well, no. Oscar has a truck. I just borrowed it."

"Isn't Oscar 15?"

"Yes."

"So, isn't it illegal for either of you to drive?"

Elsie shrugged her shoulders.

"No one's asked me for my license if that's what you're getting to."

I raised my hands to put a stop to the bickering.

"Okay. Enough. Forget the fence. I'll grow these two cuties the best home they could ever hope for and I'll do it within the grounds, but away from the mansion proper."

I turned to the clones.

"Would that be acceptable?"

"I guess." Mercy groaned. "Though I do find it disturbing how quickly Elsie won you over with a couple of animals."

"They're friends! Not animals!" I cut in. "Why would they not be friends if they're friend shaped?"

Mercy opened her mouth. Though no words came out.

"It's okay Cecil." Elsie cooed. "Let them say what they want. Come on. Let's build a home for your new friends."

We went outside as one. My happiness meter filled to bursting as I called on my Magic. I sent a massive torrent into the earth and [Spawned] in a flurry of trees. Ripping off the growing stalks from my skin and planting each of them in a square pattern. Then I flooded them with more Magic. Using [Transform] on all of them at once. Ordering them to grow intertwining branches that went up and around each other like strings of yarn on a blanket. Then I thickened the logs and thickened the branches. Until the end result looked like an old-timey frontier log house made up of still-living vegetation.

"Right then." I turned to the others. "Let's get to putting the finishing touches!"

Mike expression, or lack thereof, spoke volumes. Despite him staying deathly quiet.

"Uh, what finishing touches?"

"You know! A fence on the outside of the mini-barn and a couple of planks here and there to top off the insulation. We wouldn't want them to get cold in the winter now would we?"

"Why don't you grow a fence yourself?" Progress asked pointedly. "Seems to me that you voluntold us to start working on the barn, only for our... your Magic to do it all in a couple of minutes."

She took another second to glance up and down at the structure.

"Pretty sure this is way bigger and way nicer than what Elsie had in mind too. You could just order the roots to tie themselves together and make a pretty solid floor that way. With the kind of control you have right now, you could also level out the roots until they made a perfectly even floor. I just don't see any reason why we should have to get involved in the slightest."

Elsie took a gander at her brother's truck and groaned.

"Yeah. Yeah they have a point. I keep forgetting how versatile that freaking Core is. No wonder grandpa's so eager to marry you off."

She sighed.

"Still. I brought you a cute little piglet and an adorable little calf and they managed to cheer you up. I think that counts for something. So, I'm going to take my shot."

She turned towards me so that her eyes were facing mine directly.

"I know who you are, Cecil. I know exactly what makes you tick and yeah, while I do like messing with you, I also really like you."

She put up a hand to forestall me.

"I also know that the first impression I made wasn't very good. I'm sorry about that. I'm not asking you to forget it. I'm mature enough to admit when I've made a mistake. I'm also not asking you to marry me this instant or anything. All I ask is that you put up with me for one more day after this."

She raised a lone finger.

"If I can't convince you to date me after one day together, I'll drop things. I promise I'll stop bothering you and I'll stop coming over. I'll also promise to get my family off your back, at least as far as this thing goes."

She sauntered closer then. Ignoring the stares from all my clones.

"So, is one day okay with you?"

I blinked at her. Not really looking at her per se. But rather at Pravda. Squealing happily in her arms.

That's when it hit me.

'Holy cow. It just hit me. A girl got me a baby pig as a pet. Because she likes me. And I'm still hesitant because she made fun of me months ago.'

I blinked again.

'Am I stupid?'

I was starting to look like a very distinct possibility. But that didn't mean that I was ready to date her. Mostly due to her family. More specifically old Robertson.

'Then again, should I really keep fighting? After all I've seen? After uncle Uter told me I was helping?'

I drew in a deep breath.

"Okay." I said. "One day."