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Chapter 60, Reconciliation

My mind scrambles into gear, panic and fear twisting my face into a grimace of reluctance. I smile a lop-sided, untrue smile. “Hey, don’t worry about it! Seriously, it’s fine. I was… Heh, fun fact, I don’t even need to sleep! Isn’t that interesting? Even if I close my eyes and try to think of nothing, I can’t sleep! I was just on my way to tell that to the Commander when I… well, you know how it is. Seriously, don’t worry about it, Atte.” I try to force my body into the picture of confidence and consolidation.

For a few seconds, Atte says nothing.

Then, he removes his helmet. His blonde hair is thin, many strands plastered to his half-sweaty forehead. All of it shows a dull glean as though he hasn’t showered in too long. Still, even though we’re closer than half a meter from each other, I can’t smell anything from him apart from his usual scent. The dim light of the hallway outside shines softly in his hard eyes. Previously, back in the cafeteria, those eyes had seemed unfocused and distant. Now, they were all too close, boring into mine, making a fresh sweat bloom across my back. He’s very close.

“I said I wasn’t going to pretty up my words. Why are you?” I stare at him blankly. “I’m sorry. Seriously. Look, it’s as simple as that. I acted like an ass for no reason and so did they. We have no excuse, least of all me.”

I raise my hands in an attempt to placate him. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

He makes a grimace of disgust. “Kid, you might not be human, but you do have emotions. I can see it in you. I can’t call myself a good judge of character in any capacity, but if someone did what we did to me? Why, I’d stick a blaster up their asses!”

“I-,” I try to fight my impulsive need to tell him not to worry about it. “I… It’s not like I don’t understand why you did it, so…”

Atte sneers. “Just because you have a reason doesn’t make it right. And the reason we do have is totally irrational! The simple fact that you’re not physically human is no reason to treat you like some damn tool. And for that,” Atte bows his head, showing me his scalp, “I sincerely apologize. Not on their behalf or anything. They didn’t even see anything wrong with this. No, I apologize for how I treated you.”

I swallow hard. “If you’d helped, they might have turned on you, too.”

Unexpectedly, he simply grins. “Then let them!” I stare at him in wide-eyed wonder. “If they won’t accept the guy who saved their asses less than a day ago as their roommate, why in the stars should I accept them?!”

I blink slowly. “Huh?” Fog starts clouding my vision. “Why would you-,” my words transform into deep-throated sobs. The world blurs out of focus. “I don’t-,” I choke on my words. I can’t see anymore. Heavy tears fall from my eyes. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t, don’t-…”

Atte grips my hands. Then, as my mind races for some sort of excuse to give, some sort of explanation that might make him not worry, he pulls me into his arms. Even though I’m crying. Shouldn’t he at least be a little hesitant? My alien tears might be acidic, you know? But, as my face gets buried in his hard armour plates, I can’t help but notice how it doesn’t seep through at all. On that topic, his armour is really hard. The armour on his arms press into my back, the armour on his chest squishes me against him…

It’s tight. It real tight. It’s so tight he seems to be pressing the tears out of me. Like, come on dude, you don’t need to hug me so hard.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

But… But it’s okay. He could even hug me a little harder if he wanted to. I can take it.

Eventually, even my tears begin to dry. Atte unhooks his arms from around me, looking me in the eye without the slightest hint of pity or reproach. If anything, he just seems to respect me more. A slight smile lingers on his lips. “You feeling better?”

I nod sharply, wiping at my face with my arm. “Yeah. Yeah, I… I think so.”

My mind feels like it’s on fire. A line of words keeps repeating, running around like a frenzied millipede.

He really cares. He really cares. He really cares about how I feel.

His smile deepens. “That’s good. When I found you all passed out I really thought that you might have died or something. In this line of work you do come across a lot of weird aliens, but you don’t really meet them per-say, so I couldn’t know if that was something your species did. Then again, like an hour ago you passed out in the middle of the hallway, so… Is that just something you do?”

“No, no! That’s just cuz it’s hard to remain fully focused in all of my bodies, so anytime I switch my main consciousness I have to renounce control of my current body. Sorry if that looked a little strange.”

Atte nodded dumbly. “Uhuh, uhuh. Many bodies. Gotcha.”

I feel the compulsive need to explain my own physiology to him, but before I can do so, he draws a massive yawn. “Say, let’s go back to the dorm. It’s damn late.”

I draw my lips thin. “Yeah, sure…”

He hesitates a second before standing again. “Look, if they won’t accept you, then we’re both sleeping with the astromechs, okay?”

I pull in a sharp breath, filling my chest with the kind of confidence Atte exudes. “Yessir!”

“Dude, don’t call me sir, that’s weird.”

“Sorry, reflex.”

We leave the droids (apparently called astromechs) behind, heading back to the dorms. All the while we walk, my heart flutters constantly. Somehow, it feels like everything is about to go wrong.

The door to our dorm room stretches high above us. Did it feel this oppressive last time? Did I feel this nervous then, too?

Hrm, not quite. Last time, the only one who could get hurt was me. Now if something happens Atte will also be kicked out. But I won’t let that happen. No, if they try something like that, I’ll fight back! I-, I’m not sure how I’ll do that, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out. Somehow.

Atte slaps me twice on the back. I look up at him.

He’s got his helmet slung on his hip, exposing his slightly worried face. Strangely enough, he doesn’t look so much worried about what’s ahead as he seems to be for me. “Hey, relax, kid. It’ll be fine, okay? Don’t go looking so ominous.”

I try to smile. Did I look ominous?... “Sorry, I’m a little nervous.”

He smirks reassuringly. “Alright, let’s get to it.”

My smile cracks a little. We got here way too fast. Oh god.

Atte opens the door. There are three men inside, each of them now undressed to the extent where I can make out their faces. It seems the nighttime dress code here is just boxers, which I respect. Though, it does feel a little weird that the first(-ish) time I see these people eye-to-eye is while they’re mostly undressed.

On that note, all their eyes are on us two. They seem… Surprisingly apologetic. It’s a bit hard to tell since I’ve never been too good at reading people, but they almost seem regretful.

A few seconds pass in silence between us. I start to wonder if I should chew my way through the hull to flee. Atte clears his throat and crosses his arms sternly.

Two of the guys look down at the floor while the third - a man who seems to be about 40, a whole deal older than the two others who seem about as young as Atte - stares me right in the eye. The man similarly seems much older spiritually. His eyes hold real strength in them when he looks at me. Then, while I’m marvelling at how mature he seems, he lowers his head.

E-, eh? H-, hey, you don’t need to do that! We’ve had our differences, but it doesn’t mean you have to-,

“I’m sorry,” he says in a gruff and startlingly remorseful voice. “We judged you unfairly based on your appearance. It’s nothin’ a good soldier is supposed to do. Shooting first and asking questions later is a rookie’s mark.” He turns to glare at the two other troopers. They don’t even meet his gaze. Scary. Glad he isn’t looking at me like that. Oh, wait, he’s turning back to me. His gaze softens. “Your name was Mort, right? Pleasure to meet you. I’m CT-990.”

He reaches out his hand. I gulp. For a second I wonder if skin-to-skin contact might be harmful, or if the radiation inside me might seep into him somehow. But that’s all silly conjecture. I take his hand. “Th-, thanks, sir.”

He smiles strangely. “No need to call me that. We’re on the same playing field, aren’t we?”

Well, I guess so. Calling him 990 or even CT-990 might feel a little strange though…

No, wait… Hang on. Haven’t I heard that name before?