I slide my ID into a slot on the side of the computer, watching as it boots to life. There’s no mouse for me to use, only an unmarked keyboard the droid taught me how to use. Rudimentarily, that is.

Poking a few buttons experimentally, I watch how the screen changes slightly. Okay. Yeah. I can probably do this.

What I want is information. Not much, but some measure of information about this place would be nice. So far, words and terms have zoomed right over my head, and I’d really quite like for that not to be the case anymore. The first question I really have is about what exactly the Empire is. I mean, yeah, so far it seems like a great thing, but even then I’d like to know how exactly it’s ruled, how old it is, if people are doing okay… That kinda stuff.

I begin poking around a bit more, eventually finding my way onto what seems like a historical account of the “recent formation of the Galactic Empire.” Dated… seven standard years ago? Huh? Then… The Empire is really young? Weird. Not what I expected. How’d it happen? Oh, wait, it says right here!

“Three years following the beginning of the Clone Wars…”

“A revolt reportedly led by Jedi Grandmaster Yoda…”

“Supreme Chancellor Palpatine attacked in his chambers…”

“The corrupt and stagnant Republic was reformed…”

...Holy macaroni. That’s-, okay, uh. Before I made any comment on this, I just… What in the heck was the Republic? And-, and the Clone Wars? Hrm…

By the way it seems, the Republic had been going strong for a thousand years before being reformed into the Empire. Whoa. A thousand years… Lots of years. It had apparently existed since before that, but the past thousand years are counted as the best time since it was going without any large wars, the last truly large war being around a thousand years ago when the “New Sith Wars” took place. There’s only a little detail on what the New Sith Wars was, but it seems that the Sith (whoever they are) formed some army called the Brotherhood of Darkness before going to war with the Army of Light, which was formed with thousands of Jedi.

Thousands of Jedi.

Jedi.

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...The evil space wizards?...

In other words, the Republic made use of evil space wizards. Hrm. Looking at a few other articles, it seems the Jedi acted as their enforcers and judicials. Making sure their will was brought to every sector of the galaxy. And they had a total of ten thousand by the end of the Clone Wars?? What? How is-,

Okay, okay. Let’s think about the whole “army of evil space wizards” at a later date. I need to know what in the heck happened to the Jedi. They couldn’t all have been killed at once, right? That’d be… A little scary, but also pretty relieving. Both at once.

Let’s see here…

The Clone Wars, secretly orchestrated by the Jedi in a bid to overthrow the rule of the Senate and Supreme Chancellor, slowly whittled down the forces of the Jedi. Not enough, but somewhat.

...However, what the Jedi didn’t know was that the clones used in the Clone Wars (is that… ethical?) were actually good all along and were only following the Jedis’ orders so they could turn the tide at the last moment. So, after a group of four Jedi Masters tried to attack and kill the Supreme Chancellor, an order went out to make the clones turn on their Jedi slavers. Not all Jedi were killed and some scattered like rats, but enough so that the Empire was able to take hold without much resistance.

Hrm. Something here feels weird. I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Like… A Jedi is strong, right? So, how come the Supreme Chancellor was able to survive being attacked by four masters?

Weird. Maybe he convinced them trying to take over the galaxy wasn’t nice? Maybe. He seems like a nice enough chap.

...I’m not sure if I like the fact that Force-users are still being weaponized. I mean-, it wasn’t a good thing that the Jedi were pretty much used as space cops, right? That was a bad thing, wasn’t it? So… how come as soon as the Empire took hold, they started doing the same thing? Hrm. I guess it’s in order to protect against the remnant Jedi forces, but it’s still kinda…

Either way. This just tells me that there’s a lot of stuff I need to research. I better get to it.

I spend a few hours (I think? Time is weird in space) reading various articles about this and that. At one point I accidentally get distracted and start reading about completely random alien subjects such as what in the heck a ruby bliel is. The windowpane doesn’t change much at all, so nothing there tells me anything.

It’s only when the door slides open and a familiar face steps inside that I’m brought out of my research mania.

“Uh, Mort? You okay there?” Fern asks timidly, standing awkwardly in the doorframe.

I creak my head around to face him. I’m not sure how long it was since I last blinked. “Uh, yeah, I’m fine. Just reading about,” I turn back to the screen, “-the mating habits of sarlaccs.”

Fern grimaces. “Is that what the Commander wanted you to read up on?”

“I don’t think so,” I answer honestly.

“Either way, uh, it’s time for dinner. You do eat, right? Or… or does your small body not need that?” Fern asks, stepping inside the room. His uniform is now back to that stale, pristine condition, as if he’d never been sitting. Do officers just never sit down? Hm. Possible.

I give a toothy smile. “Yup, I eat alright!”

“Great, great. Well, come along then or I’ll just leave you here. Which would make the Commander upset. But the Lieutenant would probably be happy, so…”

I hope out of the chair, very happy that I have no joints or bones or anything like that that might ache and pop from the sudden movement. I’ve been sitting hunched over a computer for hours and my body feels just fine. Not even slightly tense. Being a space octopus rocks. “Let’s go!”