Speaking of Typhin, he takes a step back, relaxation returning to him as well. And then I notice it.

An uneaten snack. Can’t have that, can we?

My lips seal around the crystal and Typhin’s thumb and index finger. Before he can so much as react, I’ve slipped the crystal from his grip and pulled away. Crunch crunch crunch.

79 000 -> 80 000

Ok. Ok. That wasn’t-, I didn’t-, that wasn’t tasty in the least! Tastes like chewing on glass, and glass doesn’t even taste like anything! A buncha shards stabbed my tongue, too! Having a tongue is now certified overrated and I’m ripping it out at the nearest convencien-,

A gloved hand crushes my throat and heaves me into the air by it, bringing me eye-to-eye with Typhin. He-, he looks pretty, um, mad? Yeah. I don’t think faces are supposed to be that red.

“You-, you-,,, INSULTING RUNT!!” he roars. “Why in the name of the Emperor would you do that?! Spit it back up, useless ingrel or I’ll dissect you myself!” He shakes me back and forth, giving me flashbacks to second grade.

“Uh-, uh-, uhm-, sir-, I don’t think-,” I can barely get out a stammer, but mostly out of shock. I’ve got neither bones nor airpipe to crush so this doesn’t hurt me in the least, but, still… “p-, please, sir, I’ve already eaten it, I don’t see what-,”

“That’s one of the most valuable materials in the galaxy, and you ate it?!”

It’s-, it’s what now?

“Um-, uh, sir, can you put me down, this isn’t-,”

“Do you know how many credits just one teensy kyber crystal can be sold for?! Neither do I! But every kyber that the Empire gains means a hundred fewer soldiers killed against the resistance! Spit it out, you absolute lout!” he continues shouting, shaking me even more.

“S-, sir, I won’t eat any more, but this one is already gone-, so,”

He pulls his hands back, letting my body drop to the floor. My hands quickly go to my throat by instinct, but there’s nothing abnormal there to feel. I look up at him from where I stand on my knees.

“Have you eaten more before you brought me here?”

Lying is bad, but for a moment, I wonder if it might be a good option. “...Yes, sir, I have.” His eyes narrow and I realize I only made him angrier. “B-, but, but! I didn’t eat the big one!”

“The big one?”

“Y-, yes! Just outside this cave, there’s a mountain with a big crystal in it! I’m sure it’s a crystal like these, it shoots out a big pillar of light into the sky to protect the planet! I didn’t eat it!”

His face transforms from anger to utter befuddlement. “...A large kyber crystal?” I nod. “How large, exactly?” Hrm. Good question. I waddle to my feet, spread my arms wide, and… yeah, not big enough. It was at least 6 meters tall. Surrounded by weird panels and stuff. Now, in English...

“Very big. Like three of you, at least. Surrounded by, by…” the word slips my tongue for a second so I choose the nearest alternative, “by technology.”

Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

His eyes light up. “Is that so?” And then it seems like he realized something. “I should be happy you haven’t got a mouth large enough to eat it. Barbarian.”

I’m not sure what he meant by that, but since he’s turned away from all of this and continued walking, I guess I’ll follow?

While we walk, he occasionally makes notes of things in the cave, mostly about whether there are crystals or not. He seems really excited about them, which I would also be a couple of (Weeks? Months? Years?) ago. And then we get to the final part of the cave before the temple, namely… That excavation site.

Typhin stops in his tracks. Lets his eyes graze over the towering poles and planks. “...Is there intelligent life on this planet?” I shake my head, arching my back to ogle at the tall things that weren’t so tall last I saw them. “Yet, this does prove that someone has been here. Since I’ve never heard the name of this planet, should it not be a top-secret base of the Empire, the only possible other option would be for either the resistance or the Jedi to have been here… Whichever it is, Mort, you must protect me.”

Huh? “Uh, sure thing, sir! Will do!”

Apparently, the beams and stuff aren’t actually too interesting to him, since he continues walking, following where my tentacle is coming from, which happens to be that door and corridor I snaked my way through before. It’s actually pretty roomy! I and Typhin can walk side-by-side with plenty of space to spare! It’s also longer than I thought. Very long.

But, at the end, we see the open door leading to the outside.

Typhin goes first, and I follow, bumping into his back when he suddenly draws to a stop.

I cock my head to the side to see what he’s looking at. Oh, lookie, it’s one of those weird statues! Hm. I wonder what’s wrong with them? Or with Typhin. I’m really not sure, so I circle around to face him. Yeah, his eyes are just straight glued to the statues, mouth floundering open, eyes wide and trembling. “Everything alright?”

“A-, a Jedi temple,” he says, first hesitantly, then: “a Jedi temple!”

Just going by his voice, I can’t really tell how he’s feeling about it. I mean, yeah, he sounds pretty excited for some reason, but there are also obvious hints of trembling fear in it, most noticeably in his eyes. And then the words start making sense as more than just English drabble.

Huh. Jedi.

You mean the evil wizards he was talking about earlier?

The evil wizards that threaten the peace of the galaxy and would kill my new friend on sight, those Jedi?!

Oh boy. Oh geez. Oh golly-,

“Mort!”

“Y-, yes sir!” I whip my head to face him.

He smirks proudly. “Don’t you see? This is exactly what my crew came here looking for! The Jedi temple with their Jedi signal came from this asteroid field, and unless those Jedi scum have suddenly taken a liking to erecting these sorts of structures just about anywhere they go, there isn’t a chance that there’s another one to be found here. And you’ve brought me right to it.”

“Uh, is that a good thing, sir?” He nods. “Oh! Glad to help! I didn’t know this place was any important, I just thought it looked pretty when I found it!”

His expression sours. “Don’t go sympathizing with the enemy, Mort. They will never do the same for you.”

Oh, right, evil space wizards. Kind of weird that the bad guys would have this kind of pretty white temple, but I guess looks are deceitful, huh? It’s not like Typhin looks much kind. Though, again, he of isn’t much kind either, but… That’s beside the point! “I understand, I think.”

“Good. Now, let’s have a look here.” He takes a few steps to stand beside the closest statue, his eyes shining in that bright way again. Leaning down, he slowly reads a little shiny placard below the statue, before glancing back up at it. Then, he takes a few looks around the main hall, touches the pillars, examines the ceiling… “-it’s a modern one, that’s for sure. Much unlike the abhorrent ancient temples the Jedi littered about aeons ago. Going by the materials, design and incomplete nature, I’d surmise it was under construction during the Clone Wars and left to rot when the Jedi finally lost after their pathetic insurrection.”

Uhuh. Uhuh. I have no idea what that means but I’m not about to question it. There’s a vague thrill in his voice, some forbidden pleasure in dissecting the walls and statues with a deft hand.

He quickly moves away from the main hall and further inside a smaller room, babbling something about younglings (children?) and indoctrination or whatnot. Then he heads up the stairs, all the while I trail him, and we enter that long hallway with even more statues. Most seem to be outside his knowledge, but at some points he stops and points at one, explaining with the subdued excitement of an ashamed teenager about how this one was a master and how this one was a knight and how they did this and that and how this one fought in the New Sith Wars and that one participated in the battle of so-and-so.

On my own part, it just goes in one ear and out another. I nod. “Uhuh, uhuh.”

At one point, we drift off into a room. He takes one look at it, turns around to look me up and down, and then pulls open some sort of hatch and drags a faded, brown cloak from out of it. He places it in my outstretched hands. “Cover yourself. Although you may not be human, have some respect for yourself and others, will you?”

Uh. Uh?

I look down at my body. Sleek, purple skin with blue freckle-like dots. No reproductive organs or anything. “But, sir, I don’t-,”

“Just put it on.”

My mouth snaps shut and I turn back to the cloak.

...It does look pretty darn cool. I sling it over my shoulders, keeping the hood down since it makes it hard to see. Hrm. It’s a bit too long, but, in all honesty, it feels nice to wear something that resembles clothes.

He heads back outside and I follow, the ends of the cloak dragging behind me.