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Planet-Eater Reincarnation (in Star Wars)
Chapter 51, Droids are weird

Chapter 51, Droids are weird

Since I didn’t answer immediately, Typhin turns his eyes on Fern instead. “Ensign, report the situation.”

Fern stiffens. “Y-, yessir. I and the guest have both cooperated to create an organic device of sorts that will allow Mort to regenerate himself in an easier fashion.” He gulps, glancing sideways at me. “F-, furthermore, it can act as a point from which the larger body can expand from. If you’ll allow me to voice my opinion, Commander, I believe it will be very useful as a biological weapon. Sir.”

The edge of Typhin’s mouth seems to tighten. “Is that so? A most intriguing offer, Ensign. Mort?”

I scramble to my feet. “Uh, yeah?”

He holds out his hand. “May I have it?” A thought seems to flicker through his mind. “Only if you so desire, that is.”

Only if I-, uh, I’m not-...

Honestly speaking, I kind of don’t see a reason why not. So far, trusting Typhin has been a good idea, and, well, the point of this little pyramid is that I’ll be able to regenerate from it if one of my bodies gets destroyed, right? Then, keeping it with someone far away from my main bodies will probably be my best bet when it comes to keeping it safe. Even if this pyramid was destroyed, it would just regenerate right back on my tail again, so there’s no danger!

Only mildly apprehensive, I hold out my hands, presenting the little pyramid of myself to Typhin. As a sign of trust. As a sign of friendship.

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth as he gingerly removes it from my grip, holding it in his hand, evaluating it, taking in its details and weight and size.

Before I’m able to mention anything about how it works and how Typhin can use it to talk to me like a walkie-talkie, Fern steps between us, eyes shining with the pursuit of opportunity. “Sir, if I may, I’d be honoured to instruct you on the uses of it. I assure you, as I was a part of its creation, I am just as knowledgeable as Mo-, the guest is.”

Typhin eyes him suspiciously before glancing at me. I do a thumbs up. Yeah, he’s nice!

“Very well.” His eyes turn on Fern before returning to look at me. “We’ll enter hyperspace in around three standard days when we get into charted space. At the moment there are no nearby hyperspace lanes to use, and so, we will continue our route until encountering one such route. You will be alerted.”

Uhuh? Uh. Sure! Makes no sense, but hey, space! “Alright, sir!”

The Lieutenant behind Typhin heaves his body in a silent sigh, giving off the impression that he’s just completely despairing. Fern seems confused, but only mildly so.

Typhin ignores their opinions on the situation. “You are welcome to help yourself to the onboard computers.”

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At this, the Lieutenant finally speaks up. “Commander! This is unacceptable! Even for you, allowing this tribal alien access to our information-”

Typhin raises a hand, stalling the Lieutenant’s impassioned speech. “Until a higher-ranking officer than myself decrees otherwise, Mort is to be counted as not only a guest but as an imperial. He shall be allowed access to the most basic information. Don’t trifle yourself with the details.” A sharp gaze from his superior officer made sure the Lieutenant wouldn’t disagree. “Issue him a temporary ID for the trip. Lowest access allowance.”

The Lieutenant grits his teeth, eyes dark. “Very well, sir.” And then, he turns those angry eyes on me. And, man, he looks really scary. I mean, I’ve never been one to scuffle with any authorities or anything, and now I know that that was a damn good idea. “Guest, a protocol droid will assist you in just a minute. Do not attempt to disturb its work.”

Suiting his seeming disdain of so much as talking to me, the Lieutenant only lingers to get a single parting look from Typhin before he spins on his heel and re-enters the cockpit.

With nothing else to say, Typhin and Fern both leave as well, going… somewhere.

Maybe to the cockpit too? I really have no idea, because before I can so much as wonder if I should stand somewhere else, what I can only assume to be a humanoid droid wanders up behind me, large bug-like eyes staring down at me. The design of its face is actually kinda scary, but I can't bring myself to mention it.

“Hello esteemed guest, I am BT-451, please follow me,” it says in a robotic, feminine voice that feels really out of place. But since it told me to follow it, I quickly trail behind it as it turns to go down the hallways opposite the cockpit.

Since we walk for quite a few minutes, it gives me some time to actually study the droid.

Despite its “skin” being a black sort of plastic, it still moves with surprisingly human movements, even though it shouldn’t. Both of its arms are stuck in a rigid half-bend stance, its legs also moving with small, stiff steps that make it move much slower than a real human could. And still, something in the way it moves makes it feel just a little too human, as if flesh and bone hide just beneath the shiny plastic hide.

“Forgive me for asking, esteemed guest, but to what species do you belong?” it asks, its insect-like head moving just slightly to meet my eyes. Uh, that’s a pretty-, I mean, I’ve already answered that question like a dozen times, so saying it again-, “I understand the question might have come off as rude, I merely ask to expand my database.”

“Database?” I ask before I have time to really consider it.

I think it tries to nod, but since it has an extremely stiff neck, it comes off more like a small bow. “The reports of your lack of knowledge were correct. I, alongside many other droids on this ship, are connected to a database containing a host of information on various subjects. One of these are sentient species. You do not match with the physiology of any known species. Once we arrive at the computer room, will you grant me the honour of taking a tissue sample?”

That was-, that was a new kind of proposition? Uh.

“Sure? Well, uh, depends on what you use it for, I guess?” I say, trying to evaluate its reaction by its body language or facial expression. That’s a bust though since its face is fast and it just keeps walking.

The droid gives no pause before speaking. “There are many uses for it. At the moment, its greatest use will be for the completion of task force 101’s mission to explore the unknown regions. Every sample added to the database furthers this mission.” A short pause passed between us. “If you are more interested in sentimental arguments, there is a fair chance your tissue may present the solution to some humanitarian problem. Disease, famine… Your body tissue or fluids may possess great untapped potential in the field of medicine or such.”

Oh, damn. Really? Okay, that’s-, that’s actually a really good argument. Get put in the database, help the Empire… Sounds like a plan!

“When you put it like that, sure!” I say, and for once, I can actually sense the droid’s emotional state as its shoulders fall just slightly. That feels weird though, if droids are robots, how come it seems… well, emotional? Only slightly, to be sure, but still.

“Glad to hear it, esteemed guest,” it says, its voice just slightly tinged with what seems to be genuine relief. We arrive in front of a closed door. “Ah, it seems we have arrived. Please stand by for a moment.”

And while I stand there like a dingus, the droid leans over beside the door, bringing my attention to a small hole. It extends its hand towards it, and I’m left staring while a small mechanical thing extends from the tip of its finger and into the hole. It turns a few times, and whoosh! The door hisses open. “Whoa!”

It turns to me, momentarily startled and confused, before presenting me with its index. “It contains a probe to interact with the interface of the ship.” I nod deeply, trying to really put the information to mind.

“Uhuh, uhuh, uhuh.”