When you lived in somebody’s head, you’d be mistaken to think you had them all figured out.
Active thoughts, passive thoughts, buried thoughts, unconscious thoughts, Melodica had been a part of Taz’s most embarrassing and shameful ideas, as well as some of her barely suppressed outbursts of anger.
So, being the accumulation of nearly a decade of Taz’s thoughts and ideas, Melodica found herself feeling… afraid sitting in Taz’s desk chair, unable to guess what was on the little blonde’s mind as she changed into a sportier shirt, gym shorts, and sat on her bed to slip on some tennis shoes.
Taz tied her hair back into a long ponytail with a hot pink scrunchie, tying off the end with a matching piece. Looking ready to play some sports, Taz leaned back on her bed and rolled her head around her shoulders before looking Melodica dead in the eye.
“Stop.”
Whatever Taz was about to say paused before she could even open her mouth.
“You are acting so much like mom right now it’s freaking me out.” Melodica squirmed in her seat, the motion making no noise.
“Well…” Taz jut her bottom lip out. “I mean it’s on purpose!”
“Then don’t do it anymore, I hate it!” Melodica kicked her feet in a tantrum, before giving Taz a sulky look. “You’re mad at me.”
“I’m not mad at you!” Taz huffed. “I can tell you’re hiding something from me!”
Melodica tightened her lips. “You can’t prove that!”
Taz held up a finger. “You’re spending a lot of time away from me alluva sudden.” A second finger. “You’re acting super squirrely whenever we talk to Dr. Dewitt about powers, or your existence.” And a third finger. “And you wanted to leave really fast, and I know you knew I wanted to stay!”
“No I—” Melodica crossed her arms and looked away. “Well so what? I wanted to go and practice telekinesis.”
Taz frowned at her, leaning forward, elbows on her knees, head in her hands. “I know you just wanted an excuse.”
Melodica gave her progenitor a glare. “And if you’re so sure I’m hiding something from you, why not just read our mind?!”
Taz went quiet for a moment, and gave Melodica a slow, awkward blink of realization. Melodica merely looked annoyed.
“It didn’t even cross your mind?!”
“No!” Taz winced. “That’s… I mean, it’s rude to read other peoples’ minds when they don’t give you permission!”
“It’s not like we have a lot of privacy between us.” Melodica pointed out.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“Right, exactly.” Taz frowned. “I don’t think it’d be very good for either of us if I started stomping all over what little we do have.”
Melodica’s angered expression lingered, stony and frustrated for a moment, before it slowly melted away, and her posture drooped as she stared silently at Taz.
“Look…” Taz sighed thickly, looking down at her lap instead of Melodica. “If you ever want to talk about it, I’m here for you. Like you’ve always been for me.” Taz gave her tulpa… her… Melodica a frown. “Judgment free. I don’t know what you’re going through, but I can… I can try and help you out with it.”
Melodica’s expression turned from merely sullen to such extraordinary shame that Taz was afraid she’d somehow said the wrong thing.
“And-and if not me,” Taz added, “Madeline’s just one floor up! Whatever she’s up to, I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear you out.”
Melodica froze. Not just in terms of thought and action, but her entire projected ‘self’ went so stock still it’s like she was a statue. Her concentration on keeping a realistic form had shattered to pieces, and Taz could feel through that ever-present tether they had between one another a storm of tumultuous emotions that was only barely kept at bay.
By pride? By shame? Taz wasn’t entirely sure, but slowly she reached out.
Heat spread from the front of her brow to the back as she imposed as much of herself on reality as she could, and Melodica gasped as she ‘felt’ her body pulled delicately into Taz’s arms. She was stiff as a board as Taz held a body lacking in texture, warmth, breathing, or a heartbeat, but Melodica still felt it.
Not as a touch, but an emotion between the two of them. Melodica had experienced the concepts of love and concern through Taz by proxy, but she had never felt them directed at her, only at Taz…
It hurt.
Not the emotions, but the way they made her feel. The way that filled her form and how she could only react with sheer, raw pain. She didn’t scream, or cry, or weep, but the burden of having Taz’s love suddenly made the world feel so much… less free.
She’d… scared Taz. And now Taz was trying to ease that fear. Because of her. She’d never thought about this kind of fear before…
Melodica’s form shifted and grew flat. The colors washed away, the legs melted into a singular, scaled tail. Her face didn’t change, her hair stopped flowing, but she held onto Taz and just hung onto those feelings pouring into her.
She wished she could feel Taz’s warmth. She wanted to feel those arms tightening around her. She wanted more than anything to be able to breathe and weep out loud rather than just feel her entire concept fluctuate and roil as it tried to comprehend what was happening to her.
This was a good thing, right? To be loved? Why did it make her feel so miserable? How come when she buried her face into Taz’s shoulder, she wanted to feel her skin, or smell her sweat, or feel her hair being played with?
What was the fucking point of being alive if she couldn’t feel it?
Taz flinched as Melodica disappeared from her arms.
She blinked, and worriedly glanced around. Melodica was still here… not in her room.
In her head.
She tenderly knocked against that little presence residing in the back of her skull, but all she got back was a touch. It was so small, and so delicate, and so brief, but then it was gone, and Taz was left alone as she felt Melodica’s presence seclude itself.
“... I’m here for you.” Taz whispered to herself, but rather than receive emptiness as an answer, she felt a gentle pulse of affection from within her subconscious.