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Chapter 13 Part 3: Feeling the Burn

Taz breathed softly, her eyes closed. Cold pressure rested on her forehead, numbing some of the heat radiating from her skull, and a light blanket kept the rest of her warm. The nurse’s office bed was a bit tough for Taz’s tastes, and the pillow a bit too soft, but she wasn’t about to argue while her brain tried to keep itself from melting.

Her body was weak, shaking as the fire in her mind threatened to burn the bridges connected to the rest of her body. Burn-out usually wasn’t dangerous to the young, healthy, and mentally sound, but there was always a risk that the overstimulation and excessive mental pressure would leave lasting damage.

She’d heard of pseudo-psychics who tried to push their limits and ruined their brain’s ability to control parts of their body; one couldn’t control their bladder, another even lost the subconscious ability to breathe. She didn’t think she’d pushed it as hard as they had, as soon as the pain grew too much she’d stopped, but it still left her feeling sick.

Vaguely, she recalled Noelle describing the mind like a muscle; it needed to be exercised to get stronger, and like a muscle, if pushed too far, it just failed and needed to recover, and made you curse every second of it.

In the meantime, she’d just have to deal with the fact that every little stray thought and emotion her natural telepathy picked up on made her cringe.

She distantly heard the nurse’s office door open and her eyes fluttered open. Little light poked through the curtain surrounding the little bed; burn-out was compared rather unfavorably to a migraine, as stimulation through a recovering mind was interpreted rather painfully.

“Is she alright?” She heard Mr. Gonzalez say.

“She seems to be going through some pretty standard overpsionization, nothing pointing towards cognizant rhabdomyolysis. What did you say they were doing in your class?”

“Fairly simple telekinetic practice, just controlling some paper airplanes…”

“Well her mental state is on par with heavy-psionics.”

“You think it was stress?”

“It was a competition, right? The stress may have pushed her over the edge.”

“I didn’t think it would be that strenuous…”

“It shouldn’t be, but a poorly trained telekinetic might struggle to keep within acceptable performance values. That, and, well, she’s an evolink…”

Taz’s eyes fluttered at the word, and she frowned a little.

“I’ll try and think of some alternative practices for her over the weekend until she can handle the strain.”

“It wouldn’t be a bad idea; you know how precarious an evolink’s mental state can be.”

“I’d hate for her to have to give up telekinesis because of stress…”

“I know how you feel Martino. Let me keep an eye on her, you get back to your class.”

There was a muffled acknowledgement, and then the door opened again.

“Excuse me, miss.” Mr. Gonzalez said.

“Sorry.” A younger, female voice answered.

“Hello young lady, is everything alright?” The nurse asked.

“Just fine! Is Taz here?”

Taz blinked at her name. Someone was looking for her?

“Taz?”

“Natasha Cooper?”

The voice certainly sounded familiar.

“Oh! Yes, are you a classmate of hers?”

“And a friend!”

“Third curtain, and be respectful; she’s suffering from burn-out right now.”

“I getcha!”

Taz listened to the gentle clack of shoes on tile, and watched the curtain part through bleary eyes to see a white face framed by beautiful, waving silver hair peer back at her.

Her brain ached as her brow crumpled together in confusion.

“Mel?” Taz whimpered.

“Heeeeyyy, sorry I haven’t been around today.” Melodica spoke in a low, gentle tone. “I’ve been… working on something.”

That just confused Taz further, especially when Mel walked through the curtain in an outfit Taz didn’t recognize. A buttoned up, long-sleeved, dark blue jacket over a white dress shirt, with a small red bowtie laced around the collar of her shirt. A plaid skirt hung down to her knees over her legs, which ended inside of knee-high socks and little black dress shoes with brass buckles.

She walked over to the small chair by Taz’s bedside and reached over, her fingertips too-smooth, too cold to be human, brushed aside some of Taz’s hair and readjusted her cold pack.

“Where’ve you… what have you been up to?” Taz asked with a groan, not really wanting to be awake, but with too much energy to properly sleep.

“Been thinking about making some changes.” Melodica answered with a small shrug. “New school, new me and all that. You know?”

“Eh?” Taz answered.

“A makeover, Taz.”

“Oh.”

Taz looked over Melodica as the girl settled back in the chair, which made no noise as Melodica’s hair phased through the chair back.

“Anyways, as soon as I felt the burn-out, I figured I should finally show up once you had a moment alone.”

Taz huffed. She wanted to be grouchy at her tulpa for leaving her alone all morning, for leaving her to get ready for school in total silence, for leaving her to take notes all by herself in Mr. Burke’s class, but…

… then she watched Melodica cross her legs.

Taz sat up with a jerk, “Mel, you have legs!” She gasped, then collapsed with a pained yelp as Melodica laughed, groaned, and admonished her creator by holding the cold pack over her forehead again.

“And you need to chill, jeez!”

“But you have legs…” Taz whispered, her neck aching. “You hate legs!”

“I mean, yeah, but…” Melodica mumbled, wiping a pained tear off of Taz’s cheek. “Everyone else has them.”

“That has literally never stopped you before. I thought only mom had the power to make you put on legs.” Taz murmured.

“Yeah.” Melodica acknowledged. Staring down at Taz for a moment, she pursed her lips and leaned back in her chair, her hands clutching an invisible guitar, and quietly she started strumming the opening notes to Back in Black, one of the first solos Robbie ever taught them.

Taz screwed her eyes shut, expecting the music to hit her brain with the force of a truck, but to her surprise, the pain didn’t increase, it actually began to ebb away, just a little bit. “Heh. A classic.” Taz repeated Robbie’s words as she listened to Mel, the merma—the tulpa’s foot tapping, and from it came the distant sounds of the song’s drums.

“It’s just like that boy from the convention. Remember?” Melodica asked, her eyes closed as her fingers flew up and down invisible strings. “James Michaels?”

“Yeah…” Taz murmured. “What about him?”

“He had burn-out, so we played for him. That whole thing Mr. Burke and Dr. Dewitt said we were doing, keeping him from melting down with our music.” Melodica said, her eyes closed.

“Yeah...” Taz remembered, lifting her head a little as the pain started to even out. “Wow, it’s actually kinda nice…”

“Great! I was hoping it would!” Melodica grinned, moving her shoulders to the beat.

Taz let the music drift her along, and closed her eyes. It was pleasant, even painless for a moment, and she could hear Melodica whispering the lyrics under her breath. One eye fluttered open to watch Melodica jam to herself, dressed like she was going to Catholic school and bouncing a knee to the beat of the song.

“So why are you trying to change?” Taz asked softly, reaching one hand out from her imaginary bass. She used a little telekinesis to create a knee for her to touch, but the longer she gave her leg a shape to hold, the more her head began to hurt, and the telekinesis ended with a squeeze of her eyes, her fingertips falling onto the edge of the chair. “Okay… no telekinesis for a bit.”

Melodica frowned, pausing her music to squeeze Taz’s hand, but even that made Taz squirm in agony until Melodica relinquished her physical touch.

With a frown, the tulpa girl leaned back, letting things fall to silence so Taz could rest, and with a little sigh, Melodica leaned back with as realistic of a posture as she could effect and spoke.

“People are saying I’m more than a tulpa.” She said, her eyes closed, though she could still see the world through Taz’s eyes. “I don’t know what that means. But, if I’m more than a tulpa, that means I’m closer than Kaguya-sama to being human.” Melodica let out a long, exasperated breath. “So I want to look the part, so I’m not just Taz Cooper’s sideshow.”

Taz, peering at her tulpa, frowned. “I never thought of you as—”

“Not you.” Melodica interrupted her in a bit of a harsh tone. “Other people. Fatima, Madeline, whoever.” Melodica’s voice lowered until Taz could only barely here her say: “I’m not a fucking puppet.”

She fell quiet, and Taz frowned.

The curtain opened, and Nurse Beldine poked her head in. The older, carob-skinned woman, with her textured hair tightly wound in a bun behind her head, glanced between the two girls for a moment.

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“Hope I’m not interrupting anything, girls.” She said in a low, soothing voice.

“No, we’re okay.” Taz said, and the woman smiled.

“Sounding better already. You want some orange juice, suge?”

“Yeah.” Taz answered.

“What about apple juice?” Melodica ventured.

“We have apple juice.” Nurse Beldine affirmed.

Taz puffed her lips. “But I don’t want—” She looked over at Melodica, whose face had fallen when Taz had started to argue… and with a little nod of her head, she waved to the nurse. “One of each please.”

Melodica perked up, and not long after, they were both holding plastic, disposable cups filled with Minute Maid juice. Taz was set up to drink, polishing off her orange juice with small, careful sips in case her burn-out affected her stomach.

Then, the apple juice, which left Melodica smiling at their shared sense of taste.

What had seemed normal a month ago now seemed so alien now. Melodica clearly enjoyed the taste of apple juice more than orange juice, but Taz felt the opposite. Now that she was in tune with the oddity of Melodica’s existence, those little differences in preferences were so much more prominent.

One of the biggest ones causing her head to ache with confusion was how Melodica was there. Melodica was her tulpa, her psionic manifestation of a personality, given shape through mimicry… basic telekinesis was painful, but most of the pain she was in came from sitting up straight.

She closed her eyes again, and tried to settle down.

----------------------------------------

“I know you feel better Miss Cooper, but doctor’s orders are final.” Nurse Beldine stated firmly.

“B-but I’m already late for basic Biokinesis!” Taz whined.

“And I’ve already sent your teacher an email letting them know!” Nurse Beldine said, turning in her spinny chair to face Taz. “Y’know how many burn-outs we get in the first week? Every teacher knows it happens; every year kids come in trying their hardest right out the gate and nearly melting under the pressure. Don’t worry about it, they’ll send you lesson stuff to look over in your room.”

“She’s more of an in-person kinda learner, though!” Melodica added, with a nod from Taz.

Nurse Beldine shook her head and leaned back, arms crossed. “I don’t care if Mr. Baumbach is passing out a test this period; you go in there trying to use your powers again, you’ll land right back in here, and you would not believe how often I get to say I told you so – or how much I enjoy saying it!”

Taz tried to give the woman her best pleading look, but Nurse Beldine was steely-eyed and unimpressed.

“Scoot!” She ordered, waving towards the door. “I am ordering you to take proper mental rest for the day. Go to the cafeteria, get something to eat, study your class materials for the day, and go back to class tomorrow a wiser woman. Tomorrow.” Taz opened her mouth to try and argue, only for Nurse Beldine to cut her off: “Capiche?”

Taz deflated, and Melodica frowned. “Capiche…” Both repeated with a groan.

“Good.”

Taz turned towards the door, and honestly, the only thing weirder than seeing the door open to find a teacher leading two students clutching their melons inside was Melodica walking by her side.

The girls left the little building poking out of the side of Dewitt hospital, and Taz’s eyes kept flicking over to her tulpa. No punk rock jacket, no casual tank top, no tail, no clamshells or fish scales anywhere… Taz slowed her walk a bit to let Melodica get ahead of her, and simply stared at a girl she thought she’d had figured out.

A small part of her worried if Melodica was happy, especially stuck at her five-foot height with Taz, but then the former-mermaid tried skipping. Other than the total silence of her footsteps, Melodica made it look pretty good…

“Know what I’m in the mood for?” Melodica said out loud, before hopping up onto a stone partition marking off a grassy area, walking with a calm stride, trying to looking like she was balancing with her arms out.. “A smoothie.”

“Yeah…” Taz said, getting drawn out of her thoughts. “Like, a strawberry—”

“—banana smoothie, with a little kale?” Melodica grinned over her shoulder.

Taz smiled back. “Yeah! There’s that smoothie place Maddy showed us.”

“Right before the Asian market, right? Let’s go!” Melodica hopped off the partition, her feet sinking a few inches into the ground before she corrected herself, and eagerly, both girls headed for the north gate.

A small part of Taz was still feeling guilty she’d burnt herself out on her third day. She felt stupid, and little hot spots still bloomed in her head periodically, but never outright crippled her like before. A sigh of annoyance escaped her; she was missing class and probably disappointing her mother at the same time, but at least Melodica was back in her own way, staring down at her feet to make sure they clicked against the stone making up the walkways through the memorial park.

The shade did wonders for keeping them out of the heat, and the smell of all the flowers planted around them soothed Taz’s aching head. They weren’t alone here, but Taz was keeping her mind sealed off. Other students lounged against trees, writing in notebooks, typing on computers, chatting with each other…

Taz wondered if they were supposed to be in class or they somehow had a free 3rd period.

“Oooh!” They both heard from a distance, and glanced up to see a pair of young ladies sitting in the shade of a tree, staring at them both. One of the girls called out: “I love your hair!”

“Thanks!” Taz and Melodica both said at once, waving with pleasant smiles, neither knowing who the girl was talking to, but Taz made sure to flick her blonde mane with as much pride as she could.

Both, however, slowed as they saw a familiar girl near several tall sunflowers. Red-haired Theresa was carefully bending a sunflower down to face level, her eyes closed as she smelled the big, beautiful flower.

Melodica crossed her arms thoughtfully for a moment, then started to walk on ahead with Taz following after a moment’s hesitation.

“Hi.”

Melodica stopped with a sigh.

The sunflower wobbled back into its upright position, Theresa whirled in place to stare at Taz in surprise.

“Oh.” Theresa’s shoulders sank. “It’s you.” She drew some of her bright red hair out of her face, which flattened into a frown.

“Yeah, Taz. You’re Theresa, right?” Taz took a step closer.

Theresa flinched at the movement, but didn’t move away, and didn’t stop Taz from walking any closer. “Yeah…? Shouldn’t you be in a class?” She asked softly, drawing her arms around herself like she was cold, which Taz figured was impossible with as big and puritanical as her dress was.

“I really wanna be, but the nurse said I needed to take it easy for the rest of the day.” Taz smiled weakly, walking up to the sunflowers. She giggled a bit as she realized they were about her mother’s height. “Man, I haven’t been next to a sunflower since I was tiny.”

“Tinier.” Melodica corrected.

Taz made a face at Melodica, who walked over to join the two girls, though Melodica’s presence made Theresa sink back.

“They’re still enormous.”

“They smell good, too.” Melodica nodded as Taz imitated Theresa’s appreciation of the flower.

It took the two a moment to realize Theresa had been silent for an uncomfortable while, and only spoke up when the two looked her way.

“You…” Theresa was staring at Melodica like the girl was carrying a knife in hand. “You’re the mermaid?” She tilted her head, almost like a confused dog as she stared at Melodica’s legs.

“I mean, c’mon, I was more than just a tail; I got this glam do, too!” Melodica threw her wavy silver hair out with a smile, the deep blue tips hanging low around her butt.

Theresa’s expression didn’t lighten up any. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s okay.” Taz tried to sound calming; the girl was wound up more than a cornered mouse… “She can change herself around, and today she wants to be a school girl, like us!” Melodica held her arms and a leg out, and spun in place, showing off her body with a pleased smile.

Theresa’s eyes remained on Melodica for a while, but slowly she turned to look at Taz. The little blonde felt a twinge of pain in her head from Theresa’s palpable trepidation, and Melodica winced as her creator held a hand over her eye.

“Hey, you mind, like, toning down the thinking a bit?” Melodica asked. “Taz just got out of the nurse’s office from burn-out, and telepathy kinda sucks for her right now.”

“O-oh!” Theresa’s eyes widened, and then shut dramatically. There was a heavy moment of concentration, but then her emotional aura receded, and she stood silent and still, with an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry. Is that better?”

“Yes, thank you.” Taz breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m sorry, again.” Theresa looked towards the ground with a frown. “It’s not fair.” Theresa’s eyes closed. “I really didn’t want to hurt you, but these awful powers…” She trailed off.

“Awful?” Taz parroted in confusion. “It’s just a little burn-out…”

“They hurt you.” Theresa stated in a low, firm voice. “It’s all psychic powers do: hurt people. Burn out, forcing them to commit sins on behalf of the sinful.” Theresa reached up to squeeze the crucifix around her neck. “To turn their backs on God…”

With a frown, Taz took a few steps closer. It wasn’t until Taz was squeezing Theresa’s wrist that the redhead looked up, and cringing in the smaller girl’s grip.

“Theresa, it doesn’t have to be like that, you know?” Taz said gently. “We can do good things with our powers.”

Theresa shook her head. “Do not turn to mediums; do not seek them out, and so make yourselves unclean by them.” Theresa muttered, carefully pulling her hand from Taz’s grip. “These powers we have…” Theresa trailed off for a moment, avoiding Taz’s gaze. “They’re unnatural. To seek power is evil.”

“Ther—”

“And to hoard knowledge is greedy.” Theresa shook her head. “To use psychic powers instead of your hands is lazy, and sinful; we must work with what God has given us to better our lives, not these… these cheat codes in our heads!”

Taz could see the girl’s face beginning to turn red. Tightly clenched fists and a stewing anger, and she was starting to radiate a mixture of resentment and sorrow until her eyes met Taz’s, and she quickly let her fists go, and that growing outrage fell flat, impotent, driven towards nothing, but stewing nonetheless.

Frowning, Taz settled a gentle hand on a flinching shoulder, and spoke quietly and calmly.

“You aren’t here because you want to be, are you?” Taz asked gently.

Melodica’s eyes widened at the question behind her, then gave Theresa a similarly curious frown.

Theresa, quietly, drew her hands up in front of her chest and shook her head. “No. Never. I want to be back home…”

“Then maybe you should…?” Taz offered, and Theresa fists wrung together as she tried to hold back a resentful frown.

“I want to. I really want to.”

“But if you do…?” Melodica asked, and Theresa fell silent.

“... I’m going to go back to my room.” She said after several long, painful seconds.

“Theresa…” Taz started to say, but the girl had pulled from her grip, and she was whispering into her crucifix as she walked to the dorms. “Theresa!” At the more insistent call, Theresa stopped midstep. “Maybe you should go to class? You should be in one, right?”

Theresa remained quiet, shaking in place, not looking Taz’s way.

“It… it might help you learn something about your powers. They aren’t evil!” Taz tried to say, but Theresa simply walked off, not answering her.

Taz deflated where she stood. Her head hurt again from the stress, and she delicately stroked her temples.

“She isn’t really our problem, Taz, you don’t have to worry about her.” Melodica whispered into her ear.

With a deep sigh, Taz’s hands lowered by her sides. Watching Theresa’s now distant form, she couldn’t help but feel concern for the girl.

“I know. I do, just… I think she might be all alone.”

Melodica didn’t argue with that.