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Phenomena the Basic Witch and the Evil Book of Love
Chapter 27: I Knew You Were Toil and Trouble...

Chapter 27: I Knew You Were Toil and Trouble...

Mena totally forgot about Bella’s annoyance when she took a gander at May’s room on the final floor. As soon as they stepped inside, the brass coat hangers became arms and offered to take their coats. “Why thank you,” Mena smiled as they politely extended their hands to grab her coat, “They’re way more polite than the actual staff here.”

They followed the walls which were painted with light blue swirls that moved on their own. The swirls lead Mena and her friends to the dining room where the sights were so astounding, Mena had to take a step back. Smack dab in the center of a velvet carpeted dining room, was a handsome statue of a warlock in nothing but a speedo and a wizard hat. “Hubba hubba,” Mena gushed marveling at the body carved in pale marble. “Now that’s what I call a real hunk...o’ stone. I wonder if Melina Penwell chiseled him herself.”

“Hey Mena,” May said, pointing up at the ceiling. “That’s not the only gorgeous thing in the room. Look up.” Mena listened and saw a plate glass ceiling stretched over the Sweet Suite to present the pink brain-like cosmos of Dula decorating the night sky in all their glory.

“Oh, my magicaps, May,” Mena gasped as stars, nebulas and galaxies filled her eyes, “Everything about this place is gorgeous.”

With feline precision, Grizabella leapt onto the bed in the corner and strolled over to the nightstand where a jar of ink and parchment were stationed. With a careful dab of her tail into the ink bottle, Mena’s auntie became to write with all the grace of a master scribe.

“Ooh, what’s she writing?” Janus asked, holding her spindly fingers together.

“Wowie zowie,” Mena slurped excitedly, as her auntie wrote a page full of words. “That’s some serious Cat-ligraphy “

Mena and her friends all peered over to see what Grizabella had penned and suddenly their demeanor’s changed.

“Don’t let this glamourous world distract you,” Mena read aloud. “Everything and I mean everything on this trip was designed to lure you into a false sense of security. That horse skeleton wasn’t the only trap awaiting you. The presence of evil here is undeniable.”

“You know about the Mal-Essence?” Mena exclaimed and the kitten nodded her head.

“There is more than that,” Mena read the following words her auntie wrote. “Even if she cannot enter this haven, there are agents of Anguish all around. Sometimes in places you’d least expect it.”

Darkness filled Janus’ eyes. “I always had a bad feeling about Nick as soon as I saw him. The way he treated May, and how he latched onto you, Mena.”

“You really think so?” Mena asked earnestly. “Nick seems so suave and inviting…”

Janus’ usual sense of levity dissipated. Her voice was the most jilted Mena had ever heard from the normally sweet reaper girl. “He might not be rotting like Chad Abber, but he’s definitely as dead behind the eyes.”

“He barely even acknowledged me,” May chimed in angrily. “And I won the flipping contest.”

Mena sighed. “You’re both right. He’s still our tour guide, but we’ll keep an eye on him to make sure he isn’t a spy.”

Grizabella mewed happily and etched more words on the paper. Mena read the words. “I’m happy to see my niece isn’t as boy-crazy as she usually is…HEY” Mena exclaimed, “I’m not boy-crazy. If I am, it’s because I’m finally thirteen.”

“Excuse me, miss,” a suave voice asked as Mena felt a strong hand on her shoulder. Mena turned around and saw the marble statue moving and speaking. “Do you have any requests for me?”

“Homina homina homina,” Mena stammered as her face brightened to the color of a tomato. “Define request for me.”

Grizabella angrily dipped her tail in ink and began to write. May read aloud this time. “Uh Mr. Statue. Mena’s auntie’s got a request.”

“What is it?” the marble statue asked, putting his hand upon his neatly carved chin.

“Put on some clothes,” May responded. “There are children here.”

The marble man slinked off to the other bedroom to find some clothing, and Mena’s face lost the disappointment. She gave her auntie a another big hug. “You were always a buzz kill, Auntie, but I’m happy to have you back.”

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

The kitten nuzzled up against her before Mena pulled away and looked into the kitten’s big emerald eyes, “But uh, how are we going to change you back into my auntie again?”

Grizabella scrawled once more on the parchment. Mena read it quickly, “Meowshrooms, while not fatal by any means, are very difficult to cure. There is one such antidote, but it very rarely blooms in the wild. It’s called Dognip. I ventured up here in hopes that some merchant would have it, but no such luck.”

Mena looked to Janus and May. Both exchanged affirmative head nods with their friend. “Don’t worry, auntie. We’ll find that Dognip. And if not, we’ll find some other way. Right girls?”

“Right,” Janus and May said in unison.

For the last time, Grizabella wrote a message. “I’m so lucky to have a wonderful and thoughtful niece like you.”

***

That night, everyone turned in early. They had a place to be tomorrow and that was to drop May off at Love Ink.

In the morning, Mena was awoken by a wonderous melody. “I knew you were toil and trouble when you broomed in,” came a high-pitched singer’s voice over the magical sundial clock. Even if Mena was still sleepy, she could not resist the tune’s poppy chorus and catchy beat, which come to think of it, was also playing at the teen witch clothing store, Witchever 21.

“Who is this?” Mena asked, her mouth dropping in awe. “This really speaks to my soul.”

“You never heard of…?” Janus said, having switched on the clock to wake Mena, but she was cut off by the obnoxious DJ.

“Yo, this is MBR, Magical Broadcasting Radio and that was the latest Wormwide hit singing sensation, Taylor Witch. T. Witchity Witch topped the charts last week with her smash song, “Toil And Trouble.”

Janus smirked. “Does that answer your question?”

“Wowie-wow-zowie,” Mena exclaimed holding her hands to her chest. “I think I’ve found a new favorite singer. It’s like she captures the essence of my mind.”

“Not mine,” Janus laughed, learning on Mena’s bed. “My mind’s too black and decaying. Much like my favorite music”—Janus removed a piece of parchment from her purple bed-robe and handed it to Mena. “Bella wrote up our schedules if you’re interested.”

Mena’s slightly red eyes read over the schedule, and they bulged with cracked lines. “Drat rats… 2 in the morning. I can’t believe that nuisance gave us the graveyard shift.”

“What’s wrong with that?”” Janus’ voice drifted with dreamy exuberance. “I love the graveyard shift.”

“Because of course you do,” Mena said, non-plussed. “But oh well, at least that gives us time to check out Love Ink. with May.”

The door opened and the handsome marble warlock answered, his perfectly chiseled chest and abs glistening in the sunlight. He sported a chef’s hat. “Breakfast anyone?” I made green liccan eggs with cured smokewood sweet-meat.”

Mena drooled. “Going to be hard to eat with all this eye candy around. But it’s best we get eating so we can escort May to Penwell’s.”

***

Outside the Newt T. Hotel, Nick greeted them in his signature sweater vest and khakis. There was an interesting pendant around his neck—a silver brain with an eye on it. It matched his “Purity-of-Mind” ring perfectly.

He spread his arms in welcome. “Sup Mena, Janus and…friend.”

May and Janus immediately crossed their arms in disproval. Even Mena had a troubled look on her face.

“Listen Nick,” she said, “You gotta stop ignoring May. She rightfully won the contest. She’s the reason we’re here and…we love her.”

May beamed brightly and Mena smiled back. At last, Nick gave an exasperated sigh. “Look… May,” he said, finally making eye contact with the magi-chair bound girl.

“I got a bit distracted when I first saw Mena. You know, raging male hormones and all.”

“That’s an understatement, ignoramus” May responded, hovering to make her magi-chair reach Nick’s eye level.

“But,” Nick said, walking up to meet May face to face. “I’m a Clearmind, and I should first and foremost think of you and Mena as friends and not hold contests based on your looks.”

Clearmind got on his knees before May. “May, I’m deeply sorry, I should be showing you around, not Mena or this leggy, bony chick.”

Janus’ gaunt face dropped into a frown and he said, “Sorry, Janus, I mean.”

May kept glaring at Nick, but eventually her face eased. “Fine, show me around, fudgeboy.”

Nick rose up to his feet and humbly bowed. “That I can do. One star-studded tour from a star stud coming up.”

Love Ink. was on the far edge of Wormwood in a dark side street. It was a lot shadier than Mena expected—a three story building with blacked out windows and a pink neon pen drawing the words, “Love Ink” with a heart at the end of it. There were two hulking guards standing at the front of it—each clad in purple and black uniforms, with dark glasses and sporting enormous pens as weapons.

“Here we are,” Nick said, walking with May to the forefront. “Your audience with Penwell awaits.”

May held her acceptance letter out to guards, who nodded in accordance with it. “You are Maylene Cumberson correct?”

“I am,” May said, feeling a bit proud of herself.

“Right this way,” the guard on the left said, and he opened a door with a heart shaped keyhole. “Do not tarry, your first session begins now and Ms. Penwell does not appreciate late guests.”

“Err…” May said, positioning to her friends. “Umm, can my friends watch?”

“Negative,” the guard on the right said, “Penwell’s legendary craft is a trade secret. It is your privilege and yours alone to witness it. As for the rest of you,”—the guard held out his hand to shoo them away. “Be gone.”

Nick bowed to them, and they started to walk away. “Drat rats,” Mena muttered, walking quickly with Janus and whispering so Nick couldn’t hear. “How are we going to know what’s going on in there?”

Nick positioned his head between Mena and Janus. “You know, if you stop being so secretive, ladies. I could do you a favor.”

“By beating it?” Janus said with a smirk.

‘Ha ha,” Nick said rather than laughing. “I could get you in there if you really wanted to.”

“Really?” Mena’s eyes widened. “But how.”

Nick put his arms around Mena and Janus, giving them a sly wink and a toothy grin. “By using my secret tunnel, of course.”