Chapter 48: Last Break

I wait to recover my Arcana Points and Barbatos actually does a good job of licking my fingers which heals me a bit. Then it's time for the 5th floor.

I crack open the door and see just about the worst thing I could possibly imagine. It's the parrot.

Pete the Pirate Parrot. This parrot has grown to be 5 feet tall. It is too big to fly in here, but that's okay because its psychic powers are also 5 times bigger than what they used to be. Also, it wants its eye patch back.

The black parrot squawks and turns one creepy bird eye at me and says, “Nevermore, nevermore!”

I pull my Nemesis Pro Negator from inventory and open fire with it, sending dime-sized void balls at the winged bastard before it can attack. “That's a raven thing to say!” I yell as dozens of black orbs eat holes into the big bird. All I've done is destroy one of its wings. I start to see psionic energy charge around its head like waves of heat and I just go back inside the stairs and close the door behind me.

I take a sigh of relief which is followed by the door blasting in on me, toppling me down the concrete stairs. I think my nose is broken. The door is on top of me and I'm on my stomach, pinned to the stairs. The parrot taunts me, “nevermore mother fucker, nevermore!” I feel waves of psionic energy shoving the steel door against me, threatening to crush me to death.

That's when I hear the meow of Barbatos and a mean hiss and the sound of scratching. The pressure lifts from me and I get up to see Barbatos clinging to the side of the big bird's head, clawing at its eye. I take it that at close of range it can't use its powers? Sure, let's try it. I rush the parrot and get in close, then stab with a knife. I have to push in against thick feathers but I find flesh and I rip and tear away. It takes about a minute but together me and my kitten take down a really big parrot.

I take a breath. I'm almost out of healing snacks and I drank my last Dr Pepper just a minute ago. But we're close to the break room. Really close. Should just be dogs and cats in our way. Should be fine. Should be.

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I turn to Barbatos and look her in the eye. She's a real cutie, but she's smeared with blood right now. She gives me a curious head tilt and I know I gotta risk it for the pet biscuit. I stand and stride into the pet department, knives at the ready.

Bobcats leap on cat trees to growl and I throw knives at three and shoot the fourth with my Sig Sauer P226 handgun. Six devil dogs round the corner and I just pump pistol rounds into them. One gets close but three knives punch into it from above and drive it to the ground.

I look around. There's nothing left alive. I sweep the room and double check. Nothing. Everything is dead except me and my kitten which has already chewed a hole in some kitty chow and is eating dry food off the floor. I frown. This shouldn't be this easy. Actually, maybe it's me. I realize that after the hydra den I'm just amped up and in a battle mindset.

I need to cool off. I need to let my brain and body reset. I've got about 45 minutes until the dungeon resets and monsters spill out into the town. So yeah, let's take 15.

I rummage through things in the pet supplies and find nothing of import. I go and check the break room. Still full of vending machines. I pop open some folded up duffel bags and fill them with healing snacks and drinks. Once they're as full as possible, I place each bag into my inventory. Jose taught me this trick. Your inventory is limited by your Luck, but any container counts as one item. He figured it out because of the 97 inch LG OLED 4K TV boxes. Those counted as one item, despite containing Styrofoam padding, a remote, instructions and the like. He really is a clever dude. Most people don't get that.

I sit in the break room and drink a Dr Pepper not for the Arcana Points but just for fun. Barbatos jumps into my lap and purrs. I turn and realize that I'm sitting at our table. The dungeon map for Brian's game is still here. My dice are scattered across the floor. My character sheet is here. Good old Trent the stoner tree man. What a dumb character I made.

I laugh looking at some of my notes. “Can't see both moons at night.” “Bardo has bombs in his pants.” “Do slugs have souls and can I trade them to devils?” “Printing press is evil, I bet.” I have no idea what most of these notes even mean anymore.

I sit there and smile, petting my winged cat, fully decked out like a Ranger, sitting in my retail job break room with a gun on my hip and magic in my soul. I feel like this is probably symbolic or something literary but I can't think of what it could mean.

My watch alarm goes off to tell me my 15 minute break is over and I get up, Barbatos jumping off my lap. I stretch and yawn. It's time to finish this. It's time to go to the manager's office.