“You people are killing me.” Matt groaned, burying his face in his hands.

“So you can't help us get in contact with the governments of Canada, Australia, and the United States of America?” Chris asked through a portal.

“Oh, no, that's easy. The problem is that I don't want to be the de facto emissary to Azza!” Matt exclaimed. “I'm a game developer! Fuck, I'm not even that! I spent a decade developing an AI to do that for me! I'm supposed to be done! All I need to do is make sure the bills get paid, and I can spend the rest of my life enjoying myself! Which does not include helping super-powered aliens move to Earth!”

“Technically we're still human?” Chris offered.

“Oh, no, I got the report on you.” Matt growled. “Mr. half doppelganger half elf!”

“Wait, someone figured that out?” Beth blinked.

Matt frowned. “You figured it out?”

“My parents showed up yesterday and explained everything.” Chris replied. “Hence the push to evacuate to Earth.”

“Because of your parents?” Matt asked, looking confused.

“Because they made it clear that just knowing I exist will be enough to draw the doppelgangers and elves down to the City. I'm too valuable a weapon to be left alone.” Chris elaborated. “And they already know I exist.”

Matt stared at him for a moment. “So we did that entire press conference for nothing.”

“Pretty much.” Chris agreed. “Honestly, we didn't even particularly need to explore the game. But then again, we wouldn't have met you if we hadn't…”

Matt grimaced. “As if that's a good thing.”

Beth glared at him. “Look, none of us are exactly thrilled about what's happening, but we're talking about people's lives here!”

Matt sighed. “Yes, I know. And yes, I'm going to help. But that doesn't mean I'm happy about it!”

“Fair enough.” Chris shrugged. “So, where do we start?”

Matt shook his head. “I'll give you some phone numbers that you can call to set up meetings and I'll lend you my plane so you can get to them, but politics is not my thing. Beyond knowing a few people you should probably talk to, there's not much more I can do to help.”

“That's all we need.” Beth assured him. “Once we have our foot in the door, we can handle things ourselves. The problem is we don't even know where to start. Or at least, not without sounding like crazy people.”

Matt paused. “I may have to go with you for the first few meetings…” Matt spent a few minutes getting a list of contacts together for them and handing it over to Beth. They were about to leave when he suddenly snapped his fingers. “Oh, Chris, there's one thing that's been bothering me about all this.”

Chris raised an eyebrow. “Only one?”

Matt rolled his eyes. “Okay, one thing that doesn't make sense. See, no matter who I talk to, no one has seen any evidence of the Conqueror having minions or a space. They all agree that he wields multiple abilities, has multiple forms, and can grow stronger, but nothing else. One person insisted he absorbs the abilities from anyone he kills, which… almost seems like the opposite of what you do.”

Chris frowned. “Could he be hiding it for some reason?”

“Or maybe the game only got your ability mostly right?” Beth muttered. “I always found it pretty suspicious that the game seemed to be able to predict everything. I mean, the general gist of things, sure, but it being a hundred percent accurate just feels wrong to me.”

“Do you think that could change how the doppelgangers and the elves react?” Chris wondered. “Maybe they'd be more interested in your dad's method of dealing with me.”

“Maybe…” Beth agreed. “But I don't think we should bet on it.”

“True. Plus it's probably a good idea to have a place to run to anyway, even if there isn't anyone coming.” Chris replied.

“Right, then I need to make some phone calls.” Beth sighed, waving the list of contacts.

*

Beth was in the middle of setting up a meeting with some Australian official while Chris offered moral support, when Sabrina contacted him. *Chris, would you be able to join me for a moment? There are some people here who'd like to talk to you.*

*Define join.* Chris sent back, making a sign to ask Beth if she minded if he left for a moment. *I'm stuck in my space at the moment, but I can talk through a portal.*

*That should be fine.* Sabrina replied as Beth gave Chris a thumbs up.

Chris moved to his room in the main section of the space, getting rid of his bed and making a couch in case people wanted to come in, before opening a portal to Sabrina. “Alright, who-”

“You!” Sergeant Callista growled as she stomped into his space and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “What did you do to my husband!?!”

“Becky, calm down!” A teenage boy exclaimed as he came in behind her.

Chris blinked. “Your first name is Becky?”

Sergeant Callista shook him. “Why is my husband a teenager!?!”

“How am I supposed to- wait… you're the guy that was missing a leg, right?” Chris asked as he remembered what happened. Man, trying to prevent a war really put a lot of things on the back burner, didn't it? “Didn't have enough mass to be an adult so it healed you into a teenager?” Chris glanced at the still fuming Sergeant Callista. “Your wife is Sergeant Callista?”

Sergeant Callista narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you have a problem with that?”

“No, it's just a weird coincidence.” Chris shrugged. He glanced down at her hands still holding his shirt. “Can you let me go now?”

“Can you fix my husband?” Sergeant Callista retorted.

“I don't think so…” Chris muttered. “Maybe if he got really fat? I wouldn't guarantee it though.”

“Vincent…” Sergeant Callista growled.

Chris rolled his eyes. “Look, I can't make mass out of nothing, and he doesn't have the mass to be an adult. I don't know what else you want from me. The best I could do is take your leg so you can be a teenager too.”

Sergeant Callista glared at him for a moment. “Do it.”

“Becky, no!” Her husband exclaimed. “What about your job?!?”

“We'll figure it out! If you're stuck as a teenager, then I'm going to be a teenager too! I'm not going to spend the next five years looking like some kind of pervert!” Sergeant Callista retorted.

“Sergeant Callista, I don't think this is a decision you should rush into.” Sabrina interjected. “I think you should take some time to discuss this with your husband before you do anything rash.”

Sergeant Callista grimaced before dropping Chris. “You're right. Come on, Kyle.” She pulled her husband back through the portal to find some place to talk, turning back to raise a finger at Chris. “Do not go anywhere!”

Chris raised an eyebrow at Sabrina as he smoothed out his shirt. “I would have appreciated more of a warning about that. I thought you just had more patients for me to heal.”

Sabrina snorted. “Would you have still come if I told you an angry drill sergeant was here because you turned her husband into a teenager?”

“I don't see why not.” Chris shrugged. “It isn't like it's a problem that's just going to go away if I ignore it, and the longer I wait, the more pissed she'd get. Best to take care of it as soon as possible.”

Sabrina blinked. “Oh… in that case, the woman you formed a connection with and the woman you… deaged? Would also like to talk to you, if you have time.”

Chris frowned. “Does the deaged one have an angry husband?”

“No, she's a widow, but she does have a son who seems a bit… overprotective.” Sabrina replied.

“Outstanding.” Chris sighed. “Alright, let me know when they're ready, and I'll be here.” He paused. “Though I suppose I could technically get the one I'm connected to myself, huh?”

Sabrina frowned. “I- think it'd be best to avoid any overt demonstrations of what your connection allows you to do. For those who don't know you, it could be very… unnerving.”

Chris shrugged. “If you say so. I'm going to go check on Beth, so just call me when they're ready.” Sabrina nodded, returning to her office as Chris headed back to the private space to find Beth just getting off the phone. “How'd it go?” He asked as he sat down next to her.

“We have a meeting set up for four days from now.” Beth replied.

Chris cocked his head. “That'll be our first one then, huh?”

Beth nodded. “Yup. Our meeting with the Canadians isn't for a week, and the Americans won't see us for another two.”

“Hm… at least I'll be able to go to those ones in person.” Chris commented.

“True.” Beth agreed. “What about you? What did you need to deal with?”

“Oh, Sabrina wanted me to talk to someone. Who turned out to be Sergeant Callista, who was angry that I turned her husband into a teenager. Also, apparently her first name is Becky.” Chris explained.

“Wait, what?!? When did you- wait, I remember… that guy was Sergeant Callista's husband?!?” Beth asked incredulously.

Unauthorized usage: this narrative is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

“Weird, huh?” Chris replied. “They're trying to decide whether she should turn into a teenager too. Can you imagine a teenage Sergeant Callista going around yelling at recruits? Or their faces when she takes someone down for not taking her seriously?” Chris chuckled at the thought, no doubt in his mind that even as a teenager, Sergeant Callista would be a force to be reckoned with.

Beth paused. “Okay, yeah, I'd need to see that. Though I think the recruits would freak out the first time they saw an imp.”

“It's a good lesson though.” Chris commented. “You can't judge a book by its cover, especially when it comes to abilities. Better to learn that lesson now than in the Maze.”

Beth nodded. “It's amazing how many people still look for obvious signs of power when abilities are a thing.”

“Well, it's because most of the time they're right.” Chris shrugged. “In scout class, they taught us that if you see a creature that looks healthier than all the other creatures around it, it's probably pretty strong. That's just how life works. The strong can acquire resources easier and the weak struggle. Of course, it isn't a hundred percent, and you can't base all your decisions off that initial impression, which is why being a scout takes work, but for the average person, that initial impression is all they know to look for, and they've never encountered a scenario where they'd be forced to question it, so it sticks around.”

“How could they- oh, right… not everyone grew up in an environment where everyone was always looking for an excuse to duel each other.” Beth sighed.

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure duels are only a thing for the top ten or so floors. I mean, there are still fights, but it's more about a group of bullies ganging up on some poor, unpopular kid than an actual power contest.” Chris replied. “In fact, if the bullied kid tried to fight back using their ability, they'd be the one in trouble. It'd be like threatening someone with a knife or a gun.”

Beth shook her head. “It's so weird how different the floors of the City can be. Going to visit you on the forty-fourth is almost like- actually it's exactly like visiting another world.” She snorted. “Same language, similar culture, but there's just something off about it all.”

“Eh, it's all superficial though.” Chris waved dismissively. “At the end of the day, people are people, whether they're from the fourth floor or the forty-fourth floor, or from Earth, or even if they're a goblin living in the Maze.”

“Yes, but because people are people, they get thrown off when other people are different from them.” Beth countered.

“Right.” Chris nodded, smirking slightly. “Because people suck.”

Beth blinked, then burst out in a fit of laughter. “Oh, that's good! People are all the same because they all suck!”

Chris chuckled, then paused, cocking his head as a thought occurred to him. “You know, I almost think the issue with people is that they try to deal with people as people.”

“How so?” Beth asked, frowning thoughtfully.

“Well, we always try to group people, you know? Like, there's the human, the goblins, the imps, and so on, so when we deal with a goblin, we don't take them as a goblin, we take them as the goblins, seeing them as a part of the group instead of an individual. And that isn't necessarily wrong, but it's like judging people based on obvious signs of power, because most of the time you'll be right, but there's always a chance you won't be. Like, I bet you ninety-nine point four percent of the time, if you meet a goblin in the Maze, they're going to want to eat you.”

“Point four?” Beth asked, raising an eyebrow.

Chris shrugged. “I like the number four. Anyway, as I was saying, they're going to want to eat you. Maybe because they actually despise humans or maybe just because they're hungry and you're food, so you can reliably predict that if you don't do something about the goblin that just spotted you, you're going to have a bad day. However, who knows if you've somehow met the one goblin that's sworn off eating anything intelligent and he's just coming over to see if you're okay? It isn't likely, but it's possible, and you won't ever figure it out, because you've already put your fist through his chest, watching him die while his eyes scream ‘why’.”

Chris yelped as Beth pinched his waist. “Chris, do not make me feel bad about killing goblins! Dyrdek and Sidulpek already have me confused enough!”

“But that's my point!” Chris protested, rubbing his side. “Not that you shouldn't kill goblins, but at least recognizing that they are, in fact, a person, and you probably should feel a little bad that circumstances put you in a position where you had to kill them. Because they belong to one people and you belong to another, so you can't meet each other fresh. You have to bring along all the baggage between both your peoples, and see them through that lense, because otherwise you might die, and unfortunately for them, you value your own life more than you value theirs. And that's the problem with people.”

Beth frowned. “So how do you fix it?”

Chris shrugged helplessly. “I don't think you can. People are social creatures, and they like to form groups. It's good they form groups, because that's how we get technology and society and all that good stuff. But inevitably if you have a group, there are going to be other groups, and as the groups interact, you form a history, and that history will color your perspective of everyone that's a part of that group. Plus there's the innate psychology behind the in-group and the out-group, which creates hostility which wasn't even there, because you want your group to be better than any other group.”

Beth sighed. “Well, that's depressing. Particularly as a soldier whose job is to go out and kill people so my group can be better than them. Especially since I'm not going to stop. Go humans. Ra ra ra.” She waved a fist in a lazy cheer.

“See?” Chris chuckled. “People suck.”

*

Amazingly, Chris and Beth actually had nothing to do for the moment, so they spent the next half-hour unwinding by watching some TV, until Sabrina contacted Chris again. *The Sergeant and her husband have made their decision and the woman you rejuvenated and her son are here.*

Chris sighed as he got up. “Alright, I have to deal with people.”

“Boooo!” Beth protested. “We're in the middle of an episode!”

Chris rolled his eyes. “We can't make people wait because we're watching a perfectly pause-able TV show.”

“Ugh, people suck.” Beth grumbled, then giggling as she jumped to her feet. “Okay, let's go!”

“Have I mentioned you're adorable lately?” Chris asked, pulling her close and planting a kiss on her cheek.

“May~be, but I always like to hear it more.” Beth smiled, kissing him on the cheek in return. “Why this time?”

“Because why would we have to ‘go’ anywhere?” Chris smirked, opening a portal to Sabrina's office.

Beth rolled her eyes as Sergeant Callista walked in. “Take the leg off, private.”

Chris nodded, figuring that'd be their decision, since otherwise why would they need to talk to him? “You sure? I can't reverse it after. Unless you actually want to try getting fat, but I wouldn't recommend it.” He paused. “Maybe if we got a teenager who was already fat to test first… though since they haven't been an adult before, it may not work the same.”

“I'm sure.” Sergeant Callista sighed, shaking her head, wishing she still had the ability to give him push-ups. Not that that had ever worked… “I've talked to my superiors and the both of us will be on desk duty until we're physically mature enough to return to active duty.” She smirked slightly. “Ironically, this may even be good for my career. I'll have plenty of time to develop my skills while I'm growing up.”

“And going through puberty again doesn't seem so bad when you're doing it with your wife.” Kyle added.

“Phra-” Chris began, catching himself as he realized it hadn't been Beth this time. “Huh. Alright, who's taking the leg then? Actually, we probably want to do this in pieces so we don't overshoot… you don't want to end up at twelve or younger.” Everyone turned to look at him with various expressions of shock or exasperation. “What?”

“Chris, cutting pieces off of people is painful.” Beth sighed, rubbing her temple.

Chris frowned. “We're in a hospital. Dope her up so much she'd laugh while playing with her own intestines. It isn't like we're worried about her dying.”

Sabrina turned to Sergeant Callista. “He doesn't actually have to be here for this, you know. We just need the space, not him.”

“He raises a good point though.” Sergeant Callista muttered. “It would be bad if we overshot. Even bringing Kyle down to match wouldn't help if I end up prepubescent.” The two of them shuddered at the idea.

Sabrina grimaced. “It will make this procedure more expensive, but if you're sure-”

“Wait, I have an idea.” Chris interjected. “I think I can just take it.”

Sabrina frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I can absorb material into my space, so I should be able to remove parts of her body relatively painlessly.” Chris explained, then paused as he thought of something else. “Or it will feel like being ripped apart on an atomic level… I'll start small? Like a toe maybe?”

“Why did it have to be him?” Sergeant Callista groaned, rubbing both of her temples. “Fine, give it a shot.” She grumbled taking off her boots and sitting down.

Chris nodded, focusing on her pinky toe with his material sense, attempting to pull it into his space, and… nothing happened. Not because nothing could happen, but because Sergeant Callista had the will of a freaking anvil and Chris couldn't even get it to budge. “Uh… could you relax a bit?” Sergeant Callista grunted, slowly relaxing her will as Chris refocused, until finally he took the toe.

Sergeant Callista blinked as she felt her toe disappear. “That- kind of tickled.”

“That's a lot of blood.” Kyle went a little pale as he watched the blood gush out of her foot.

Chris turned to Sabrina. “You should probably…”

“Oh, right!” Sabrina exclaimed, placing her hand on Callista's forehead and scrambling her brain. She shook her head as she stepped back. “Has anyone ever told you how inconvenient it is that you can't just make your healing happen?”

Chris blinked. “No, actually. Mostly they just say that dying hurts.” He glanced at Beth. “Please don't hate me.”

Beth froze, narrowing her eyes at him. “Why would I hate you?”

“I- just realized I've never actually tried to heal someone before they died.” Chris explained, wincing slightly as Beth's eyes widened.

“You what!?!” Beth exclaimed.

“I didn't think about it!” Chris elaborated. “It was always die, come back, die, come back! I never thought to try just- coming back.”

“You spent months trying to figure out better ways to kill people, and you never thought to ask yourself if you had to do it in the first place!?!” Beth growled, her hands turning into claws as she reached for his throat, Sabrina and Kyle taking a step back as the newly revived Sergeant Callista looked confused. “That is- that is- that is-!” She suddenly deflated, her arms falling limply to her side. “Actually not all that surprising.” She sighed. “Why didn't the rest of us think of that? Why didn't Jacobs?!?”

“He was more focused on getting things to stay dead.” Chris muttered. “Plus, I don't think he particularly cared about my healing. Not enough things to measure.”

“What's going on?” Sergeant Callista asked.

“Chris might not need to kill people to heal them.” Beth replied. “It never occurred to him to try and skip that part.”

Sergeant Callista turned to give Chris a look, before shaking her head. “Why am I not surprised? I guess I'll be your test subject then?”

“I mean, that is what you're here for.” Chris commented.

“Then get to it!” Sergeant Callista barked.

Chris nodded, taking another half a minute to struggle with Sergeant Callista's will to take her foot. “Finally.” Chris grumbled as the foot disappeared, shooting Sergeant Callista a look only to have her look away with a slight flush. Being vulnerable wasn't exactly in her nature. Chris shook his head, focusing on her bleeding foot. “I'm not sure if I actually want this to work or not.” He muttered as he told his space to heal. He watched as Sergeant Callista's body began to shift, growing younger as her foot reformed.

“That- felt weird.” Sergeant Callista commented as the healing finished.

“The squad is going to be so pissed.” Chris groaned.

“Carmen is literally going to kill you.” Beth agreed. “And I'm going to let her.”

“Fair.” Chris nodded in acceptance of his fate. “Alright, let's keep going. I'm not sure you're even out of your twenties yet. But could you please stop fighting me? It's getting to the point where it'd be easier to just cut it off.”

“I'll- try.” Sergeant Callista grumbled. And she did, so this time it only took Chris slightly less than half a minute to get the foot. He glared at the stubborn woman as she healed, rubbing his head. This was going to be a massive headache. Literally.