“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Chris cursed, scrambling down the tunnel as four goblins chased after him. It just figured that the moment he'd started feeling hopeful about his chances of surviving he'd run into every Trial taker's worst nightmare. Unless you were a high-tier, there was no way to avoid getting injured by a pack of goblins, and since the bastards poisoned all their damn weapons, that pretty much guaranteed you'd be dying a slow, painful death. Worse, if they caught you, you were food, and they didn't always wait until you were dead to start eating. Either way, it wasn't something Chris was eager to experience, despite any suspected immortality.
Chris opened the portal to the room as the goblins began to close the gap, jumping inside and scrambling away as one of the goblins managed to squeeze through before the portal closed, jumping at him with a screech. Chris executed a crisp back kick, hitting the goblin square in the chest and knocking the breath out of it before he jumped on top and began slamming its head into the floor over and over again until it stopped making a thumping sound and started making a squishing sound. Chris pulled the shiv out of his side, because of course the fucker had managed to stab him while getting its head bashed in. He was wondering whether he should end it now or wait to see how the poison would play out when the goblin suddenly sat up and jumped at him with another screech. He grappled with it as its claws ripped furrows into his skin, managing to get on top and perform his patented goblin finisher once more.
Chris scowled down at the bloody mess as he watched the goblin's head begin to heal again. “I'm not sure if I should be glad this pretty much confirms I can't die, or annoyed that for some reason it applies to this asshole as well.” Chris grumbled, taking a seat on the goblin's back. “It has to only apply in here… I just need to leave enough time for his friends to leave, then I can kill him outside.” The goblin revived once more, kicking and screaming as it struggled to get Chris off of it. Chris grabbed its head one handed and gave it a good thump. “We've been through this twice now.” He growled. “Do you want to make it three?”
The goblin froze, not understanding Chris's words but getting the message loud and clear, shivering slightly as it remembered the feeling of its head being smashed to a pulp. It began to chatter at Chris, but he didn't understand it any better than it understood him, so after frowning at it for a moment, he just shrugged and released its head, getting comfortable as he gave the goblins outside time to leave, hoping it wouldn't take too long. The goblin just kept chattering away, until something seemed to click into place, and the chattering suddenly made sense. [-serve you! I'll do anything you ask!]
Chris blinked, looking down at the goblin. “What did you say?”
The goblin blinked back. [Do you want me to serve you? I'll serve you? I'll do anything you ask?]
“That's what I thought…” Chris muttered, frowning at the strange connection he suddenly felt with the goblin, as if it actually did serve him now. It was kind of weird suddenly feeling authority over another creature. He got off the goblin. “Get up.” The goblin shot to his feet. “Run into the wall.” The goblin immediately charged at the wall, ramming into it. Chris then mentally commanded it to spin in a circle, which the goblin promptly did. “Die.” He gave his last command, and the goblin just stood there, staring at him with a helpless expression. Chris shrugged. “Eh, it was a long shot. So… what's your name?”
[D-Dyrdek?] The goblin answered nervously.
Chris nodded. “Well, Dyrdek, I'm not sure why I suddenly own you, but since I do, I guess I'll do my best to take care of you, so let me know if you need anything, alright?”
Dyrdek frowned. [You- just commanded me to die.]
“In a place where I'm pretty sure dying is literally impossible, considering I've already killed you twice.” Chris rolled his eyes. “Also, you were just trying to kill me, so you don't exactly have the high ground here.”
Dyrdek shifted awkwardly. [Are- are you going to punish me?]
“Nah, it's the Maze. Everything tries to kill everything in the Maze. No use in getting bent out of shape over it.” Chris replied, before pausing for a moment. “Not exactly sure what I am going to do with you though. It isn't like you can exactly live in here. Well, technically you can only live in here, but I'd imagine you'd get bored after a while… though I guess it's better than struggling to survive in the Maze? I dunno, it's up to you.”
Dyrdek frowned. [I- can leave?]
“If you want.” Chris shrugged. “As much as I seem to own you, I'm not particularly interested in forcing you to do anything you don't want to do. I mean, I'm not going to let you go around killing people, but other than that I don't particularly care what you do. Of course, if you want to come with me, I wouldn't mind the company and some help searching for the beacon, but again, it's up to you.”
[What's a beacon?] Dyrdek asked.
“It's a device that'll let me teleport back to the City.” Chris replied, pausing as he noticed Dyrdek was still confused. “The City is where humanity lives. With beds. And technology. And food that doesn't taste like dirt.”
A spark of interest lit in Dyrdek's eyes at the mention of food. [You could feed me?]
Chris cocked an eyebrow at him. “Till you burst.”
Dyrdek bowed. [It is my honor to serve, Chief.]
“Of course it is.” Chris snorted, marveling a bit at the connection. He was absolutely certain Dyrdek was being honest, perfectly willing to trade his life away for a full stomach, the connection perfectly conveying his intent. Chris paused. He was also now confident that Dyrdek was male. It was hard to tell with goblins since they didn't have secondary sex organs, so if you wanted to know, you had to look under their loin cloth, which Chris had no interest in doing. Chris narrowed his eyes for a moment, wondering what else the connection could do, before dismissing the thought with a shake of his head. He'd just said he'd leave Dyrdek alone, and the connection seemed pretty invasive. He'd find something else to test it out on, something with less intelligence, like a rat or something.
Chris eyed the wound in his side, then the shiv that had caused it, before letting out a sigh and grabbing it. He only hesitated for a moment before stabbing it into his neck and ripping it out in a fountain of blood, grimacing at the pain as he quickly bled out, his vision going dark. A moment later he woke up, perfectly healed, all the blood returned to his body. Nodding in satisfaction, he hopped to his feet and walked over to the wall, frowning at it for a moment before focusing on opening a small crack so he could peek outside. A small peephole opened for him, Chris grinning slightly at his success as he looked outside. “Looks like your friends are gone.” Chris announced, somewhat surprised. “Kinda expected them to stick around longer.”
Dyrdek frowned. [Why would they stick around for a teleporter?]
Chris paused. “Huh… I guess that is what my ability looks like. No, I just open portals to this space, I can't actually go anywhere. Anyway, let's get out of here.” He opened the portal fully, waving for Dyrdek to follow him out. That beacon wasn't going to find itself.
*
“So… what's it like being a goblin?” Chris asked.
Dyrdek frowned. [I don't know? What's it like being a human?]
Chris cocked his head. “Meh? I mean, it doesn't suck, but there's nothing particularly special about it.”
[Same with being a goblin, I guess? It's just what I am?] Dyrdek replied hesitantly.
Chris shrugged. “Fair enough. I guess the better question is what's it like living in the Maze. What are the struggles? What are the benefits? Do you enjoy it or hate it? Cause no offense, but from an outside perspective living in the Maze sounds horrible.”
Dyrdek grimaced. [The lower levels are horrible, but if you can manage to find a place higher up, it isn't so bad. I was born on the fifth level, and that was… nice. There was plenty of food, meat not just plants, enough space to run around in and play games, females…] Dyrdek trailed off wistfully. [I miss females.]
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Chris raised an eyebrow. “There aren't any female goblins down here?”
Dyrdek snorted. [Of course not! Females are too valuable to exile.]
Chris paused. “Well, that's fair I suppose. So what got you exiled?”
[I'm too weak.] Dyrdek sighed. [My ability allows me to release a paralyzing poison, but it only works if I can scratch someone and even then it takes too long to take effect. Our shit works better than my ability.]
“Hm.” Chris grunted, expression twisting slightly. He'd been on the receiving end of a goblin shiv before, and yeah, their shit was nasty stuff. Admittedly he wasn't in the best condition at the time, but it'd sent him over the edge pretty quick. “Well, I know what that's like. I don't- well, I didn't have an ability…” Chris scratched his head. “I wonder why the Readers didn't catch it. Or maybe I just spontaneously developed it for some reason? Anyway, I didn't think I had an ability for most of my life, and yeah, the feeling of being incapable is pretty uncomfortable.” Dyrdek just nodded, the two falling silent as they kept walking. “Oh look, a slime.” Chris pointed out. “That should work for some experimenting. Go catch it.”
Dyrdek grunted, walking over to the slime to pick it up. Slimes weren't particularly dangerous, particularly not ones this low in the Maze, they were just a pain in the ass to kill and there wasn't any real benefit to it. They were made of a goopy acid, so you couldn't even eat them. However, the moment Dyrdek touched the slime, it lunged at him, wrapping around his arm and hardening like a rock. [Gah! Get it off, get it off!]
“Calm down, it's just got your arm.” Chris commented.
[It's eating me!] Dyrdek cried.
“It's barely eating you.” Chris rolled his eyes. “Hold still.” Chris placed his hand on the slime, trying to make the connection, but he didn't feel anything. “Huh… maybe it has to be in the space?” He opened a portal to the space. “Get in.”
Dyrdek gritted his teeth and rushed inside. [Now get it off!] He demanded.
“Yeah, yeah, let's see.” Chris muttered, focusing on the slime, this time finding a sort of… sense of it. “So I just- huh.” Chris blinked as the moment he attempted to form a connection with the slime, it immediately accepted it, a surge of shock blasting through. The slime dropped off Dyrdek's arm, hesitantly hopping towards Chris, before surging with excitement and leaping at him, attaching itself to his chest and vibrating pleasantly. “I think it likes me.”
Dyrdek glared at the slime, rubbing his arm. [Filthy creature.]
Chris grabbed the slime, pulling it off his chest and examining it. “Looks pretty clean, actually. I'm pretty sure it just eats everything that touches it.” He paused as he watched the slime bubble happily. “It's honestly kinda neat.”
[It tried to eat my arm!] Dyrdek retorted.
“And you tried to kill me.” Chris shrugged. “You can't hold onto the past, it just makes you bitter.”
Dyrdek grunted noncommittally. [What are you going to do with it?]
Chris cocked his head. “Well, I was going to see if the connection makes it so you guys will get pulled in here when you die, but honestly I kinda like this thing and I don't want to risk it actually dying. So I guess nothing.”
Dyrdek grimaced before letting out a sigh. [Whatever you say, Chief.]
*
Thankfully, the Maze wasn't lacking in creatures Chris didn't care for, so it didn't take long for them to find a nest of rats to experiment with, which allowed Chris to figure out a few things. First off, it turned out that when you killed things, they did in fact die. Who knew? Even leaving them severely injured so they died slowly didn't have any effect, so it wasn't because he was killing them too quickly, which meant being pulled in to heal was probably just a him thing. Of course, he didn't know if he could be killed too quickly, since both his deaths had been slow, but he wasn't about to test it, particularly since he still wasn't a hundred percent certain what was actually happening.
He also learned he could use the connection to take over his minions bodies, which… seemed kinda pointless, honestly, since he could just tell them to do whatever he wanted them to do, and if he was controlling them, he couldn't do anything himself, which felt like a net loss. But he supposed it was kinda neat to be in their heads, seeing and feeling everything they saw and felt. And that led to his next discovery, which was that he could open portals around his minions, and that they could open portals too! At least, if he wanted them to. The slime, which he had named Jello, had its portal privileges revoked when it insisted on using them to jump on his head, which let him realize that the portals didn't have to just be between the space and outside, didn't have to be connected to the wall, and that there could be more than one.
“My head is not a seat.” Chris grumbled as Jello sent pleading feelings at him, bouncing along beside him as they continued to search for a beacon, a few of the rats that had survived Chris's experiments scurrying along ahead of them as scouts. Jello continued to whine, until Chris finally relented and picked the pathetic creature up, placing it on his shoulder. “You can stay there. Not my head.” Jello seemed happy with the compromise, bubbling happily and vibrating in contentment as it got comfortable.
[I don't know why you put up with that creature.] Dyrdek grumbled.
Chris shrugged. “Eh? It's not like it's hurting anyone. Besides, it's great for catching things.” All Chris had to do was toss Jello at a creature and it would envelope it and harden so it couldn't break free, perfect for catching small creatures like rats that were too quick for him and Dyrdek to grab. Dyrdek grunted, not happy that a slime had proved more useful than him. Chris stopped as one of the rat scouts sent him a confusing mix of emotions. “Get into the space.” Chris ordered as he opened a portal.
“I can fight!” Dyrdek protested as he obeyed, stepping aside as Chris walked in after him.
“You can also die, and I'm not sure what's coming, so how about we don't risk it?” Chris retorted, closing the portal as he focused on the rat, jumping into it to see what it was signaling about. “Shit!” Chris immediately cursed, opening a portal to the rat and jumping through, rushing towards the girl lying in a pool of her own blood. “You better not be dead!” Chris growled as he knelt next to her, opening another portal as he picked her up and rushed her into the space, looking for something to kill her and start the revival process, when she let out a final sigh, the life leaving her body as the healing process began. Chris stared down at her incredulously for a moment, marveling at that incredibly lucky timing. A few seconds more and he would have been too late. Though he supposed moving her might have sent her over the edge too…
The girl let out a cough, then a gasp as she jolted awake, looking around in confusion for a moment before quickly focusing on Chris. “You- healer?” She frowned. Healers were supposed to be exempt from the Trial. Even weak healing was too useful to just throw away.
Chris paused. “Kinda? I mean, I haven't really thought about it yet, but I guess I am, huh?”
The girl blinked at him. “You- haven't thought about it?”
“I didn't know I could do it until this morning.” Chris shrugged. “Or yesterday? I don't know, time is hard to keep track of in the Maze. Which, you know, lucky for you or I wouldn't even be here. What happened to you anyway?”
The girl flushed. “I- got ambushed.”
“Ah.” Chris nodded sympathetically. “That's what got me the first time. A goblin was waiting by a stream and jumped me, got a shiv into me, and then there wasn't much I could do after that.”
The girl just stared at him for a moment. “The first time?”
“Yeah. It seems that whenever I die, I get pulled into this place and it heals me back to perfect health.” Chris explained. “The first time it happened, I thought someone had found me and decided to save me for some reason. Though… Now that I think about it, anyone who could heal wouldn't be here, so that doesn't exactly make sense. I didn't realize it was actually my ability until the second time.”
“The second time?” The girl repeated with growing incredulity.
“A dog managed to tear up my wrist when I failed to ambush it, and I bled out.” Chris replied.
The girl grimaced. “I died, didn't I? Or I'm dying and my brain is using its last moments to play out a delusion of being saved by some handsome hero. Classic wish fulfillment. I mean, I'm literally being princess carried! Plus the slime and the goblin…”
Chris blinked. “Handsome?”
“Might as well enjoy it while it lasts.” The girl sighed, ignoring Chris as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulled herself up, and stuck her tongue down his throat. Chris let out a mpff, panicking slightly and biting her tongue. “Ow!” The girl yelped as she pulled back, putting a hand to her mouth. “That hurt! You-” She froze, eyes widening. “Delusions aren't supposed to hurt.” She whispered in horror, a deep flush beginning to spread across her face.
“So I'm going to put you down now, and we're just going to pretend that didn't happen, okay?” Chris offered, the girl nodding stiffly in agreement, before quickly scrambling out of his arms. Chris stuck his hand out after she composed herself. “I'm Chris.”
“Beth.” The girl replied quietly, as if she was scared of making too much noise, not even looking at him as she shook his hand.
The two stood there awkwardly for a moment, neither exactly sure how to move on from what just happened. “Do… you want to team up for the rest of the Trial?” Chris finally suggested.
“Yes!” Beth quickly agreed, jumping onto the new topic a bit too eagerly, before flushing as she realized how that sounded. “I- I mean, I- I think that would be a good idea, yes. Not-”
“I get it.” Chris raised a hand to stop her. “Have you found a beacon yet?” Beth shook her head and he sighed. “Damn. I guess we have to keep looking then.”
“We should probably get some rest first.” Beth commented.
Chris paused. It had been a long day. “Good idea. Uh… you take that corner, I'll take this one?” Beth flushed slightly as she nodded in agreement. “Alright, good night.” Chris waved, turning to his corner, pausing as he took in the bright, white walls. “Do these things have a dimmer, or- Ah, there we go.” Chris smiled as the walls went dim, leaving just enough light that they could still see where they were going. He laid down in his corner, getting comfortable, or at least as close to it as he could on a hard, flat surface, when Jello squeezed under his head like a pillow. “Hey, what- huh… that's actually pretty good.” He muttered, leaning into Jello as it vibrated happily. “Shit, I need a bed made out of you.”