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Path to the Apocalypse
Smoke: 21 - Try

Smoke: 21 - Try

“Wait… don't we already spend practically all our time together?” Greg asked, pausing mid bite. The two of them were at the restaurant for lunch, like they were every day.

Tessa froze. “That's- incidental. It has more to do with your training and the women you seem to be collecting for some reason. Very little to actually do with us.”

“Fair, I suppose… sorry, I'm just trying to pin things down. I'm not good when things are… uncertain.” Greg explained with a sigh. “Which is probably part of the reason why I've never actually asked anyone out before, now that I think about it…”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “You realize you still haven't asked anyone out, right? This was all me.”

“Hey, if you'd literally told me you liked me, I probably would have asked you out too.” Greg retorted. “Don't think I can't tell that whole conversation was you scoping me out.”

Tessa flushed slightly. “Be that as it may, I'm still the one who actually did it.”

Greg paused. “Yeah, that's fair.” He agreed with a shrug. He considered things for a moment. “I guess the question I really want to ask is what are we doing tonight?”

“What do you want to do tonight?” Tessa asked cryptically.

Greg sighed. “That is not a question you want to ask. If I had my way we'd still be going at it in the training room, with no signs of stopping any time soon. But you know, I get that it wouldn't be healthy to do that, for the relationship or us, so I'm not going to push for it. The problem is I don't know what would be healthy. My only experience with relationships is through books, TV, and the occasional one night stand my uncle brought home… which all pretty much just taught me that once you start assuming shit, you're fucked.”

Tessa frowned. “So you're just going to put everything on me?”

“No, but… okay, so you know how you were talking about things developing naturally?” Greg asked. “Well, naturally… I'm pretty much ready for us to be basically married. You're amazing, you're fun to hang out with, we balance each other out… I honestly can't think of a single thing I don't like about you. But I get that way about things, so I'm not sure how real it is. Like, I'll be obsessed with something for like two weeks, and then never touch it again. I'm just- if I'm in, I'm in, you know? And if I'm out… I'm gone. And I'm very fucking aware that isn't a healthy way to look at a relationship, I just have no idea what to actually do about it.”

“And yet I'm the one who had to ask you out?” Tessa retorted somewhat incredulously.

“That's actually why I couldn't ask you out.” Greg replied. “Obsession is a horrible thing to base a relationship on, and I'm trying very hard to keep it out of my decision making process.”

Tessa eyed him skeptically for a moment. “So, what you're telling me is that you want as deep a relationship as we can have, but not really, because that want is based on feelings you can't trust? Which would mean you have no idea how you actually feel?”

Greg scratched his head. “I mean… I know I like you? That's definitely a thing. And I'm absolutely certain the two of us would do well together if we were married, if only because I can't imagine either of us would just let a problem fester, and since we obviously have similar values and different flaws, we should be more than suited to solve those problems together. Even in a purely logical sense, I am down for this relationship. I just don't trust that my natural inclinations are the best way to develop it. I- really just don't want to fuck this up, and I'm really hoping the fact that I'm being honest is helping, not hurting.”

Tessa huffed. “It isn't comfortable. But- I think it does help.” She hesitated. “I- agree that from everything I've seen, being married to you would be… good. But I think that's the point of dating? Why would you be with someone if you didn't think they would eventually make a good spouse? I think- I think we're still in the process of looking for reasons why that wouldn't be the case.”

Greg nodded slowly. “That makes sense… how do we do that?”

“We spend time together? That's essentially what dating is, you know. Spending time together so you can figure each other out.” Tessa pointed out.

“So we just keep doing what we've been doing?” Greg asked, and Tessa nodded. “Huh… So then what about tonight?”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “How about we just get there and see what happens?”

Greg sighed. “Fine. But I want it to be on record that I'm not comfortable with this level of uncertainty.”

“And I'm not comfortable being this frank about a relationship, so I guess we'll both have to adjust, hm?” Tessa retorted.

Greg blinked. “You aren't?”

“No…” Tessa admitted. “In my experience, relationships are just supposed to… flow. You like each other, you start dating, and then things slowly progress until something happens to make it all fall apart. Laying everything on the table like this… it feels like it takes all the romance out of it. Which, admittedly, feels very you.”

“Rude?” Greg protested hesitantly.

Tessa shook her head. “It isn't a bad thing. I'm just- I'm not used to it. It feels weird to be this… introspective about it, but ultimately I can see how certain relationships might have gone better if we had done something like this right from the beginning. They still would have ended, but… it would have at least been less messy.”

“So… We're good?” Greg asked tentatively.

Tessa snorted. “Yes, we're good. At least, I'm still invested in this relationship. Are you?”

“Oh, definitely.” Greg agreed.

“Good.” Tessa smiled.

The two sat there smiling at each other for a moment. Then Greg coughed. “Okay, I honestly have no idea what to talk about now.”

Tessa sighed. “How about you tell me about your family? You've said a few things now that seem… concerning.”

“I don't know how concerning it is… more weird? Basically my parents died when I was a baby, I was adopted by my aunt and uncle, and then they died as well, leaving me with my Uncle Jonathan. There was a whole mess with part of the family thinking I was cursed or something, but we pretty much just ignored them and got on with our lives. It hit me kinda hard during my angsty teenager phase, but that was also when people stopped really feeling like people, so I'm pretty sure that period wasn't going to go all that well no matter what.” Greg explained.

Tessa just blinked at him. “There is- so much to unpack there.” She hesitated. “What do you mean when you say that people stopped feeling like people?”

“That?” Greg shrugged. “It's very rare for a person to seem like anything more than an NPC to me. Pretty much just you, Victor, and Casey at the moment. Didn't we just talk about this, before… you know, we ‘got together’?”

Tessa frowned. “You said you didn't care. I didn't think that meant you didn't see people as people.”

Greg cocked his head. “Wouldn't that be worse? If you can fully conceptualize someone as a thinking, feeling being who matters just as much as you do, then what kind of monster would you have to be to not give a shit about them? I mean, my brain is fucked, but it isn't that fucked.”

Tessa just stared at him for a moment, before letting out a sigh and rubbing her temple. “It's going to take me ages to figure you out, isn't it?”

“I dunno, I feel like I'm very upfront about who I am and what I'm about.” Greg countered.

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Yes, but the part that confuses me is why. How does all your crap turn into one of the best men I know?!?”

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Greg paused. “I try? I'm pretty sure that's all it really takes. Oh, and I never assume I'm right, because… well, obviously? But honestly, if you're assuming you're already right, then you aren't trying to be better. So yeah, I try.”

Tessa blinked. “That's it?”

Greg shrugged. “Pretty much. Don't get me wrong, I have my struggles, but just because you struggle doesn't mean you can't try.”

Tessa eyed him suspiciously. “That sounds right… but I still feel like there's more to it than just that. I feel like most people at least try to be good.”

“Do they?” Greg sighed. “I think most people just try to survive. Others are more focused on trying to win. And even those who are trying to be good often get focused on a certain way of being good, and judge anyone who doesn't do things their way, using it as an excuse to be mean to people who are just trying to live their lives. I dunno, thinking about people bums me out. Like, all you have to do is treat people like actual fucking people, and the fact that I can pull it off with all my crap and so many others don't just- where is the disconnect?”

“I- don't know.” Tessa muttered, feeling a bit bummed herself. Why was it so hard for people to just be good to each other? She used to think maybe it was just harder for other people, but if Greg could do it… what was anyone else's excuse? Unless he was just playing up his issues for some reason, but… she doubted that. She'd seen him dismiss people as utter garbage, without hesitation. Normal people couldn't just do that. She'd talked to Sarah about what happened with Mark's team, and from the way she told it, Greg had been more concerned with the mess than the murder. She hadn't been sure how to reconcile that with the man she'd interacted with, but now it made sense. Greg was constantly telling himself that everyone around him was a human who deserved the benefit of the doubt, but once you proved there was no doubt, all he had to do was stop trying, and at that point… all you were was meat waiting to be butchered.

A part of Tessa flinched away from that thought, the part of her that grew up before the apocalypse, who couldn't fathom the idea that anyone would deserve to be killed like that, and who would be horrified by the idea of dating someone who had. But another part of her recognized that the other part of her was naive. The part of her that had seen what people would do when given even the slightest opportunity. The reason why her family was doing everything they could to keep Sarah hidden, because if certain high-tiers got a taste of her ability… there was nothing they could do to stop them. Because if they started a war with the high-tiers, the safe zone would fall.

Tessa jumped as Greg reached out to grab her hand. “Are you okay?”

Tessa sighed, then smiled bitterly. “I was just contemplating the horrors of people with more power than sense.”

“Oof, yeah, I get that.” Greg agreed. “Anything in particular?”

Tessa hesitated. “It's just- Sarah. She's been getting frustrated being stuck in the apartment. But there's nothing I can do about it! If we take her out and the wrong person sees her…” Tessa trailed off, shaking her head.

Greg scowled as he was reminded of that particular issue. “You know, I did just kill something I can only assume was a high-tier. It wasn't easy, but… well, I pretty much have unlimited attempts. Which means it's much better for me to take care of things before they actually become an issue.”

Tessa gave him a serious look. “Greg, this is not something you can handle like a psychotic feral. The safe zone depends on the high-tiers for protection, and some- some abuse that dependence. But because we are dependent on them, there's nothing we can do about it. Unless you think you can protect the entire safe zone yourself, calm down.”

Greg's expression hardened for a moment, until he remembered his struggle with the cheese grater. There was no way he could protect the safe zone from people with that kind of power. He let out a weary sigh as he relaxed. “Fine, whatever. It isn't like I actually care anyway, it's just… annoying.” He briefly wondered if it'd be better to kill Sarah before anything like that could happen to her, before dismissing the thought. There was always a chance for things to turn for the better, and Greg definitely wasn't going to just give up on saving her. One day the ferals wouldn't be an issue, and everyone who abused the situation would be dealt with, permanently. Greg smiled at the thought, refocusing on Tessa. “So, what are we going to do about it?”

“Keep her hidden and hope for the best. She isn't going to like it, but it's better than the alternative.” Tessa replied, eyeing him suspiciously. She did not trust that smile.

“Hm.” Greg grunted. “Shit, that is all we can do, huh? For now, at least.”

“I- should not have brought this up.” Tessa muttered. She'd already been dealing with it, and it wasn't an issue Greg could or should try to solve. “Greg, promise me you aren't going to do anything drastic. As much as I hate it, the stability of the safe zone comes first. It has to! Or we all die.”

Greg smiled. “Of course, I promise. I'm not stupid, you know.”

“I know, but you are impulsive.” Tessa grumbled.

“A little, maybe.” Greg agreed, getting Tessa to roll her eyes at him. “Okay, a lot, but seriously, I'll behave. I won't do anything to jeopardize the safety of the safe zone.”

Tessa narrowed her eyes at him for a moment, before nodding in satisfaction. “Okay, good.” She paused. “Maybe leave me something so that if you do come across something you might be able to do, you can ask?”

“Good idea.” Greg nodded, taking a tiny person amount of smoke and turning it into a glass bar, narrowing in the middle so it could be broken. “And this way, you can break it if you need to talk to me as well.” He added as he handed it over.

Tessa took the glass, eyeing it for a moment. “Could you put it on a strap, or a necklace?”

“Sure? Hold on.” Greg took a moment to make a thin chain. He didn't know how to make the clasp, so he just made it long enough to go over her head. He then took the glass and made a loop on the end, connecting it to the chain before handing it back.

Tessa put on the necklace, pausing as the glass settled in her cleavage. “This- makes me oddly conscious of the fact that this is technically you.” She muttered, flushing slightly.

“If it helps, I can't feel anything through it. It's just glass.” Greg pointed out. “Though if I transform while it's like that…” He trailed off, feeling the urge to do just that.

“Don't you dare.” Tessa growled, her flush deepening. She hesitated. “At least… not in public.”

“Oh really~” Greg chuckled menacingly.

Tessa's flush began to spread down her neck. “I- believe we would be remiss if we failed to adequately explore the advantages our abilities offer.”

Greg looked almost taken aback before a wide grin took over his face. “You have no idea how happy you just made me.” His smoke swirled, condensing into a notebook and pencil. “Shall we start a list?”

Tessa froze for a moment. “You are such a dork.” She snorted, shaking her head, though she couldn't keep the smile off her face. “You're lucky I'm into that.” Her expression then turned serious. “But we are not making a list.” She smirked. “We're going to explore this subject… organically~”

Greg blinked. “Was that a pun? And you think I'm a dork?” He snorted, then flashed her a grin. “Good thing I'm into dorks too.”

“It wasn't a pun, it was innuendo!” Tessa hissed.

Greg waved dismissively. “Innuendo is just spicy puns.”

“That-!” Tessa hesitated. “Is that true?”

“It at least sounds true, doesn't it?” Greg snickered.

Tessa frowned at him. “You're really bad at flirting, you know that?”

Greg cocked his head. “I feel like that probably should have been obvious? Also, when did we start flirting?”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “When a piece of you got stuck between my tits!”

“Oh.” Greg looked confused. “I thought we were just talking about sex?”

Tessa gave him a flat look. “What do you think flirting is?”

Greg paused. “I can honestly say I have no idea. Which again, probably should have been obvious.”

Tessa narrowed her eyes. “What did you think Meredith was doing?”

Greg scratched his head. “Blatantly offering to sleep with me? I assume there was some flirting involved, but for the life of me I couldn't tell you what it was.”

Tessa just stared at him for a moment. “This makes an uncomfortable amount of sense.” She frowned. “What did you think innuendo was for?”

“Crude jokes?” Greg offered tentatively.

Tessa sighed. “And why would a girl want to make crude jokes with a boy?”

“For fun?” Greg suggested.

Tessa leveled a glare at him. “You have to have connected the dots by now.”

Greg nodded. “I'm beginning to think high school could have gone much differently. Though I still think some of them were just joking.”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “I'm sure. Forget it, we should probably go check on the girls. I worry about what might happen if we leave them alone too long. Ready?”

“Yeah, let's get out of here.” Greg agreed. “Want to swing by the library and pick up a game first?”

Tessa nodded. “That's a good idea. Either that, or we can get started on… Gurts?”

“GURPS.” Greg corrected. “And I'm still fiddling with the campaign for that. Though… I wouldn't be opposed to some help if people were interested. But it'd still be nice to have the game, so we have options, you know?”

“True.” Tessa agreed as they exited the restaurant. “Any-”

“Any what?” Greg asked, glancing over at her only to discover she was gone. He quickly whirled around, looking for her. “Tess-” The world flickered and suddenly he found himself crammed in someplace dark with people surrounding him on all sides. “-a? What-” There was a flash and something ripped his body apart. He reformed with a gasp, uncomfortably aware that he was now completely alone in an oppressively silent darkness. “-the fuck!?!”