The Archmage was gone when they returned, but once Greg picked up a network device, he found several messages waiting for him. The first one stated that she'd linked both of his mana signatures together so he wouldn't have to switch between them to check his messages, the second was a list of reading material, and the third was a schedule for him to follow, detailing what he should read, when they would meet, and time blocks for when he should train, meditate, attempt challenges, experiment with his smoke, eat, and sleep, with a few small slivers designated for free time. “I'm beginning to think this apprenticeship thing is a bigger deal than I thought…” Greg muttered through a mouthful of food as he looked over the schedule.

“Don't talk with your mouth full.” Tessa chastised him. “And what did you think it would be?”

Greg raised a finger as he chewed, Tessa rolling her eyes as he ensured that the food was well masticated before he swallowed. “Honestly, I was thinking she'd be more like a college professor. I figured she'd give me a few lessons, then point me towards resources I should take advantage of, not plan out my entire freaking life!” He paused. “Kinda feel like this should have been a more significant conversation.”

“Maybe if you'd asked what being her apprentice would actually mean instead of just agreeing it would have been.” Tessa pointed out.

Greg paused. “I suppose… I just didn't see much point in asking a bunch of questions when I was obviously going to say yes. But I was actually thinking it should have been a more significant conversation on her part. I mean, if she's going to invest this much time in me, I feel like she should know more about me than a few interesting things I can do.”

Tessa blinked at him. “Greg, do you honestly not realize how utterly ridiculous your smoke is?”

Greg frowned. “I mean… I guess the fact that I just straight up can't die is pretty ridiculous, but I don't think anything else is that bad?”

Tessa shook her head. “It isn't that any one thing is too much, it's everything together that's ridiculous. Being connected to all your smoke, able to extend your senses through it? Not that bad. Being able to dissolve things and copy them using your smoke? Useful. Being able to exert force through your smoke? Jake can do the same without smoke. Being able to exist solely as your smoke, your existence fundamentally intertwined with it? Strange, but without the rest, that's all it'd be. Your smoke seeming to be fundamentally indestructible in its base form? Again, strange, but insignificant on its own. But once you put it all together, you become an immortal, telekinetic cloud that can become anyone and anything!”

Greg paused. “Okay, yeah, that does sound kind of ridiculous…”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Yeah, kind of.”

“But I still don't see why the Archmage would jump on taking me as an apprentice because of it.” Greg added. “I mean, I'd get it if she just wanted to study me, like Lamadapa, and teaching me in exchange just makes sense cause that's what I need at the moment, which is what I thought she meant by the whole apprentice thing, but this…” He waved vaguely at the schedule. “This is a lot of investment for what is essentially a curiosity.”

“It's Lapo- ugh, you're just going to forget it again.” Tessa grumbled. “And I don't know why she's going this far for you. Maybe it isn't that significant for her?”

“Maybe… she does have all that mental enhancement stuff going for her.” Greg agreed tentatively, then sighed. “I guess there's no point in questioning it anyway. I mean, it isn't like I'm going to complain about the Archmage taking a greater interest in me.”

“You better not.” Tessa grumbled. “The fact that you lucked into not one, but two instructors within a day is even more ridiculous than what you can do. And I still don't understand why they're both women!”

“Well, I don't know how I could have had any effect on the gender of the Archmage, so I'm pretty sure it's just bad luck at this point.” Greg shrugged.

Tessa grunted noncommittally, pausing as she checked her network device. “Are you done? We should join up with the others. They already found a challenge and they're just waiting for us.”

“Yeah, I'm done.” Greg nodded, the two of them getting to their feet. “What's the challenge?”

Tessa checked her network device again. “Settlement defense.”

*

“There you guys are!” Victor exclaimed as Greg and Tessa arrived. “What took you so long? Did you take a break to fuck or something?”

Tessa glared at him for a moment, before turning to the others, pointedly ignoring his comment. “Greg's awakening was a bit more complicated than we thought it would be because his natural mana allows him to produce a substance that the aliens had never encountered before, so they needed to test it first. Can anyone guess what it might be? I'll give you a hint. We're all very familiar with the substance.”

“No fucking way, his superpower is making smoke?!?” Casey asked incredulously.

“Yup!” Greg chuckled, sending out a small burst as an example. “Though I'm not really sure how useful it'll be… I've never exactly been hurting for smoke.”

“It is kinda like putting a hat on a hat.” Victor muttered.

Jake sighed. “Guys, come on, we're already behind. We can deal with Greg's bullshit later.”

Victor snorted. “Behind by what metric? Who are you trying to beat? The freaking high-tiers?”

Jake crossed his arms defensively. “The more challenges we beat, the more resources we can get, and the stronger we can become! The high-tiers may have a head start, but that doesn't mean we can't catch up!”

Greg coughed. “I have it on pretty good authority that one challenge every other day is a decent pace. Slow and steady and all that, you know?”

“Oh really?” Jake sneered. “And who told you that?”

“The Archmage?” Greg offered. “Not sure exactly what the title means in this context, but she certainly seemed important, so I'd take her input fairly seriously.”

“You met someone calling themselves the Archmage?” Brittany asked skeptically. “And they gave you advice on how often to complete challenges?”

“He did, and she did.” Tessa confirmed. “As I said, his awakening got complicated.”

“We should still focus on the challenge.” Jake grumbled.

“Right, so how does this work?” Greg agreed, looking around. The challenge was set up in a small valley, a lone wall standing in the middle. Greg could see signs of fighting around, but currently no one else was there, probably due to the fact that most people had gone towards the forest and that this challenge was pretty out of the way, almost a mile into the mountainous zone.

“We go up on the wall, activate the challenge, then a swarm of monsters will come down that hill, and keep on coming until we're all ‘dead’.” Victor explained simply. “All the monsters are illusions, so they can't actually hurt us, but our network devices keep track of every time we take ‘damage’ to determine when we're out. It also tracks ‘healing’, so Meredith isn't useless at the one thing we keep her around for. The goal is just to last as long as possible.”

“And we get ranked based on how well we do?” Greg asked.

“Basically.” Casey nodded. “It balances things out based on contribution and strength, so the high-tiers don't automatically win just because they're stronger and you can't just use a big group to boost your ranking.”

“Neat. Let's get to it then.” Greg clapped.

Jake shot him a dirty look. “How about we discuss our strategy first?”

Greg paused. “I mean, if you feel like it, sure.”

Jake scowled. “You will be covering Casey and Brittany, while Tessa and Victor cover Emily, and Carlos covers me and Meredith in the middle.”

“Not much of a discussion there…” Victor coughed.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“I would prefer if Greg covers me.” Meredith added, causing Tessa to snort.

“Shouldn't Brittany be in the middle so her illusions can cover more ground?” Carlos commented.

“Carlos is the better defender and what good would Brittany's illusions do even if they could cover more ground?!?” Jake snapped. “We're being attacked by a swarm, it isn't like we can hide from it!”

“Carlos is better, but his defense is all in his barriers, so sticking him with Meredith doesn't exactly help.” Brittany pointed out. “You should put her with Tessa if you want to get the most out of her. I think Carlos would do best covering Casey and Emily in the center as our primary damage dealers while the rest of us clean up the edges. And I believe I can work with Greg to create and hide traps for the swarm? And you and Victor can work to create openings for the rest of us, stepping in to help whoever might be struggling at the moment.”

“Now that sounds like a plan.” Victor smirked.

Jake's eye twitched. “Since when do you all have problems with my strategies?!?”

“Since when do you think you get to tell everyone what to do?” Casey retorted. “We've always discussed our strategies. You just figure out when to use them. Or did you forget because we haven't had to adjust our strategies for the last year or so?”

Jake clenched his jaw. “Fine. We'll go with Brittany's plan.”

“I am not working with her!” Meredith protested, jabbing a finger at Tessa.

“Then you can find a new squad.” Greg retorted. “I'm sure there are plenty of people willing to take you.”

“That isn't your decision!” Jake snapped. “I'm leading this squad and I get to decide who's in it or not!”

Victor barked out a laugh. “Bull-fucking-shit! The only reason you're in charge of anything is because the rest of us don't care! But if you think you're going to start acting like a little dictator, that can change real fucking quick.”

“Wha- he started it!” Jake complained, gesturing to Greg. “He just tried to kick Meredith out of the squad like he was the one in charge!”

“Did he?” Casey asked, crossing her arms. “All I heard was him letting her know that if she was going to be a bitch to one of our friends, then she could take a hike. Which I believe is something all of us can agree with.”

“And isn't he the only reason she's even in the squad in the first place?” Brittany added. “And wasn't one of the conditions for that that he watch her to make sure she isn't being a bitch?”

“Yeah, because the real question here is why you weren't jumping in to defend Tessa too.” Victor smirked. “Have you already been seduced by the dark side? You do know the cake is a lie, right?”

“Man, fuck you.” Greg groaned. “Now I'm missing movies and video games.” He sighed. “Seriously though, can we all just chill for a bit? We're all friends here, right? There's no need to get all worked up over bullshit.”

“I am not your friend.” Jake spat. “All you've done is ruin things since you showed up! You make my squad risk our lives traveling through the city to save your ass, you start telling everyone the ferals are getting smarter and treating them like people, you monopolize all of Tessa's time with your bullshit, and throughout it all you run around murdering people and act like you're a saint for doing it!”

“We went out to save Sarah, ferals are people, how I choose to spend my time is none of your business, and if you call Greg a murderer again I'll cut out your tongue and shove it up your ass.” Tessa snarled fiercely.

Jake sneered at her. “What, you don't like hearing the truth about your new boyfriend? Do you really think it's a coincidence he keeps bringing new girls home? Have you ever wondered why they all seem so attached to him? Do you enjoy maintaining his little harem for him?”

“Fucking hell, man, are you trying to die?!?” Greg cursed.

“Well he's certainly doing a good job of digging his own grave.” Victor commented, his voice notably lacking its usual hint of amusement as he eyed Tessa warily, before turning to Jake. “You should go before you do anything to make this worse.”

“Oh yes, because all this is my fault!” Jake scoffed. “Why can't any of you see what a monster he is?!? All he does is hurt and use people!”

Carlos groaned. “Jake, bro, you have got to stop. I'm not even on your side here.”

Brittany shook her head. “Neither am I.”

“I've been resisting the urge to fireball your ass since you called one of my best friends a murderer.” Casey growled.

“I'm kinda on his side?” Greg offered. “I mean, I don't agree, obviously, but I can see where he's coming from. I do some shady shit.”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Greg? Shut up.”

Greg sighed, turning to Jake. “Sorry dude, I tried.”

“Why would I ever want your help?!?” Jake sneered. “And why would I want to be on a squad with a group of simple-minded, disloyal ingrates!?! You can all go rot for all I care!” He turned to Meredith. “Come on, let's go find a squad that will actually appreciate us.”

Meredith looked at him like he was crazy. “What are you talking about?”

Jake froze. “I- you can't actually be considering staying with these people, can you?!?”

“Do you know how hard I worked to get on the same squad as him in the first place?!?” Meredith retorted incredulously, gesturing to Greg. “Why the hell would I give that up for you?!? I don't even like you!”

Jake flinched. “I- fine! You're a bitch anyway!” He snarled, turning and stomping off.

They were all silent for a moment, until Greg sighed. “Why did no one chill? I specifically requested it.”

“Greg, this is not the time!” Tessa snapped. “Brittany and Carlos just lost one of their closest friends over you!”

Brittany shook her head. “No, it's fine. Jake- Jake has been setting himself up for that for years now. It's not Greg's fault he ended up being the one to set him off.”

“I just can't believe he just went off like that.” Carlos muttered. “I mean, I knew he was hurting, but I've never seen him just lash out like that before.”

Victor nodded. “I just expected him to sulk and throw out some petty jabs, not go full incel on everyone.”

“Aw, fuck, he did go full incel!” Carlos groaned, burying his face in his hands. “I knew he needed to get laid!”

Brittany scowled. “What he needed to do was accept reality and stop pining after something that was never going to happen. Which I've been telling him for months now!”

“You don't just stop obsessing over a girl.” Greg commented with a weary sigh. “You have to stop yourself from getting obsessed in the first place by wholeheartedly believing that no one likes you, because why would they? You're a mess who obsesses over every girl who smiles at you, like a crazy person. And if you ever do start obsessing over a girl, you pretty much have to assume she's already rejected you, because again, you're crazy.”

Everyone just stared at him incredulously for a moment. “Do we need to talk or something, buddy?” Victor asked tentatively.

“Not your buddy, guy.” Greg smirked. “And why would we?”

“Greg, that sounded like some serious self-esteem issue shit.” Casey replied, giving him a concerned look.

Greg raised an eyebrow. “Acknowledging that I'm crazy doesn't mean I have low self-esteem. Honestly, I kinda like who I am. But I have issues and I take the necessary steps to account for them, you know? That's not low self-esteem, that's just being practical.”

“It's practical to believe no one likes you?” Brittany asked incredulously.

“Sure, why not? Statistically you're right more often than you're wrong.” Greg shrugged. “Plus, I'm already programmed to believe everyone likes me, so the two sort of balance each other out. Gives everyone a nice neutral vibe.”

“Okay, but what if there's someone who actually does like you?” Carlos asked.

Greg frowned. “I- still haven't figured that one out, honestly… not that it particularly matters at the moment, since I'm with Tessa.” He glanced at Tessa. “Or at least I think I am?”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “Greg, if I want to break up with you, I will tell you. Until then, assume I am madly in love with you, okay?”

Greg froze. “I- don't think you mean that.”

“I am certain I do.” Tessa retorted, a slight smile playing across her lips.

Greg just stared at her for a moment. “Do you think if my body is real enough, I can get you pregnant?” Tessa's eyes widened slightly, her mouth opening only for Greg to wave dismissively. “No, no, you're right, we'll figure it out.” He turned to the others as Tessa flushed. “Let's get to this challenge then, eh? Barbie, you're with me, right? And Meredith, you are working with Tessa! Chop chop, everyone!”

“Who are you calling Barbie?!?” Brittany protested. “I'm not even blonde!”