The parade proceeded down a wide, central avenue. If only they could be allowed onto the street, they'd catch up to the captive boar easily. The floats weren't going much faster than a brisk walk, pausing every few blocks so that onlookers could take in the sights.

"Follow me," Andy said, heading toward a back alley. "If we take a parallel alley, I bet we can catch up and see where they're keeping PL."

Kermit nodded enthusiastically as he followed Andy through the crowd and toward an unremarkable, narrow alley.

They took a few twists and turns past discarded trash, small tables where workers took breaks behind their businesses, and the occasional person in a doorway, staring at them with suspicion.

Finally, they found a route that was roughly parallel to the parade's route. Every block, they'd cross a street that led off to the clamoring parade-goers admiring floats. They were on the right track.

"We're going to catch up!" Kermit said eagerly, his voice full of hope.

"Yes we are," Andy said. He meant to reassure Kermit, but he was really reassuring himself. If he failed, he'd be letting the kid down, and to a certain extent, he'd be letting himself down too. In his previous life, he had let so much slip through his grasp. Now he was going to live with purpose, and right now that purpose was to save a pig and make a kid happy.

As arbitrary as it may have seemed to an outsider, finding PL, the giant boar and Kermit's new found friend, was the most pressing thing to Andy, at least at the moment. He had found something of a family in Arlene and Kermit, and dammit if he wasn't going to give everything he could to preserve that.

The parade continued on the main route while they followed the parallel alley, skipping over junk and weaving around odd corners, but still headed in the right direction.

Then Andy saw something up ahead: a sheer wall.

"There's a dead end here. I think we need to find a different alley to continue," Andy said.

He turned down a street to look for another parallel alley. Another sheer wall.

"This is odd," Andy said. "All the alleys are dead ends, but the parade route keeps going."

"Are we stuck?" Kermit asked.

"I don't know," Andy said, "Let me check. Stay back here so we don't get separated in the crowd. I'll be right back." He ran over toward the parade route and pushed his way into the crowd to see if he could catch a glimpse of the road ahead. Then he saw the problem: The parade was going over a massive bridge.

Andy found an onlooker who looked approachable, a slightly older woman. "Where does that bridge go?" Andy asked.

"The bridge?" the woman said. "It goes to the other side of town."

"How else can you get across?" Andy asked.

"Other than the bridge?" The woman asked.

"Yeah," Andy said. "I'm trying to follow the parade route and get to the end."

"Ah, well, you'd have to swim, probably," the woman said. "But if the drop off into the river didn't kill you, the eels likely would!" She cackled jovially. "The view is quite nice here, and it's much drier. Say, you're not from around here it seems, where are you from?"

She wasn't going to be of much help.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm in a hurry. Thank you," Andy said.

She just smiled. "Have a good day."

Andy headed back to the side streets, rejoining Kermit.

"What do we do?" Kermit said.

"There's a bridge up there," Andy said. "The only way to the end of the route is across, but it's going to be shut off from the public until the parade ends. Who knows how long that will be."

Andy looked down an alley, hoping against hope that some solution would present itself.

Then he noticed two event staff in purple cloaks having a smoke break around the corner. One kept peaking his head around the corner. By the looks of it, they were skipping out on their job duties.

Andy approached them.

"Hey," he said.

The two event staff turned to face Andy. Both were young men with clean shaven faces, one was extremely tall and thin, with a red mop of hair. The other was a more average build, with short brown hair.

"Sorry, did you need something?" the tall man said. "We're on, uh, official break."

"Sure you are," Andy said.

"Who are you, again?" the other staff said.

"I just really like those cloaks," Andy said. "Any idea where I can get one?"

The two looked at each other and back to Andy before bursting out in laughter.

"These things?" the tall one said. "These things are worthless, cheap little things. The fabric is flimsy. The only thing it's good for is inviting people to come up to you and ask you strange questions."

"Good one," the other said, giving the first one a high-five. Both chuckled.

Andy pulled out the bag of gold that the Noble Court had supplied him for an entertainment stipend.

"Would this cover it?"

Both men dropped their jaws. The tall one's cigarette fell from his mouth.

"Yeah, um… yes. Yeah, that'll cover it," he said.

They both immediately removed their purple robes and handed them over to Andy, leaving them in plain tunics.

"Thanks," Andy said.

The two opened the pouch of gold and looked at each other.

"Let's go get some booze, eh?" the tall one said.

"Absolutely," said the other. He then looked at Andy. "Sorry sir, but you're a sucker."

"Very well," Andy said. "Enjoy your booze."

The two men tore down the alleyway disappearing around a corner.

Andy put on a cloak.

"Here," he said, handing the other one to Kermit.

"What do we do with these?" Kermit said.

"We cross the bridge," Andy said.

Kermit's eyes lit up as he understood the plan. He donned the purple robe, which was entirely too big.

Andy adjusted it, pulling a bunch of excess material into a knot so it didn't drag too far behind the child. It didn't need to be perfect, they just had to blend in with the other staff long enough to get across the bridge. There was a lot happening at once on the parade route, so hopefully no one asked any questions.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

***

Andy made his way back through the crowd.

"Excuse me, coming through," he called.

Suddenly a rude drunkard stumbled in front of him, the smell of alcohol radiating from his open mouth.

"Ey frow dis away will ye?" he said, slurring his words and tossing a glass bottle toward Andy. It landed at his feet, shattering.

"Oop," the man said, stumbling away.

Andy kept walking. "Watch out for the glass," he said to the crowd around him as he guided Kermit around the shards.

"Ain't you supposed to pick that up? Ain't that what the court's payin' you for?" someone said.

"Lazy good for nothings," another one said. "Everyone the court hires is a lazy family member of some rich asshole. They wouldn't hire me even though I'd do a better job. They don't want us to have any of their money!"

A few crowd members responded with affirming hollers.

Andy kept moving.

No one questioned them as they crossed into the parade route, where plenty of space opened up. The disguises had worked.

They were between two floats.

Ahead of them was a giant cake on wheels with a wild-eyed, mustachio'd man at the top shooting pieces of cake into the crowd with a slingshot. Most onlookers found it funny. The ones who got hit in the face with cake and icing did not.

The float behind them was a band mainly composed of brass instruments, playing a swanky marching tune.

"Just try to blend in," Andy said to Kermit as they approached the bridge.

They trudged along, watching as the cake man continued assaulting the crowd for laughs.

That's really not a great way to sell cake.

As they stepped onto the bridge, Andy took a look at the river. The woman was right, there was a steep, steep dropoff into the waters below, as if the bridge were built over a small canyon. The regal skyline of Cresthaven disappeared behind them as the more modest buildings of the other side welcomed them. They had crossed the bridge without incident.

To Andy's surprise, there were no onlookers on the other side.

"This must be the end of the route," Andy said. "Let's pull off."

Andy and Kermit slipped over to another side street, this one wider and less cluttered than the ones they had been in on the other side of the bridge. They slipped off their purple robes. Andy folded them up and tucked them in his tunic. The staff had been right: it was remarkably cheap, flimsy material, so it wasn't difficult to fold it up and stow it away.

They cleared a block or two before popping back out on the main drag. The floats were dispersing in different directions. Some were being dismantled. Parade performers were chatting with each other, taking off their costumes and taking drinks of water and eating snacks provided by the circulating event staff. Things were wrapping up.

"There," Kermit said, pointing to a float with an open cage.

PL was being unloaded. An animal handler had just finished attaching a restraint around the boar's tusks and neck, which forced the creature's head down. The handler guided the giant boar down a dirt road that shot off of the main cobblestone street.

"Let's tail him," Andy said.

They kept their distance as they followed the handler down the dirt road, blending in as much as they could with the various people, both official and unofficial, walking back and forth to the parade route. The buildings around began to become more simple, constructed of wood rather than stone. Finally, the handler steered the boar off the road toward a large compound of stables.

"There it is," Andy said. "That's where they're keeping him."

Aside from one guard standing watch with a spikeshield and a spear, there wasn't much security. The compound was surrounded on the back and sides by dense woods and brush.

The guard started picking his nose. He wasn't paying much attention.

Andy spotted a clear route into the brush and toward the stables, with just enough cover to avoid detection.

"This way," Andy said. "Be quiet."

***

The pair made their way through the brush and toward the stables.

"There he is," Kermit whispered hoarsely, pointing toward a stable.

The giant boar's tusks protruded through the fenced gate as he lay on the ground, sniffing occasionally, but otherwise not doing much of anything. Thankfully, the pig was no longer bound by the uncomfortable-looking harness that the handler had used to walk him here.

"So should we break him out?" Kermit said.

That had been the plan, but now they needed specifics. Thankfully, the lax security seemed to extend to the stables as well. By the looks of things, the boar's stable was secured with nothing but a flimsy chain lock. With Wallop, Andy's sword could probably cut through…

Oh shit, yeah, I didn't bring my weapon, Andy thought.

The coast seemed clear; no one was within view.

"Let's see what we can do," Andy said.

The pair approached the boar.

"Hi piggy!" Kermit whispered as they approached the grate.

PL's ears stood up and his little tail began wagging furiously. He grunted with delight as Kermit petted his snout.

"Good boy, buddy!" Kermit whispered.

The bond between Kermit and PL was too cute, Andy couldn't pay attention to it or his heart would melt and he wouldn't be able to concentrate.

He focused on the lock. It wasn't heavy-duty, but it did require a key that they didn't possess. Unless they could bust it up with a rock or something…

Andy scanned the immediate vicinity for a suitable rock or other heavy object. Nothing.

Then PL's ears perked up again, this time looking beyond the pair.

Andy heard the rattle of keys. The handler was approaching.

"We gotta bail," he said. "Let's hide."

"See you soon, buddy," Kermit said, patting the boar on the snout before retreating with Andy into the brush.

As Andy and Kermit found their place behind some brush, the animal handler cleared the corner, keys jingling as they hung from his belt. It wasn't the same handler that had escorted PL off the float. No, this man was wearing a worn-out shirt under a ragged black vest covered in haphazardly stitched pockets and a pair of trousers that looked like they had been soiled a hundred times. His hair was long and greasy, and he was covered in sweat.

He approached PL's stable.

To Andy's surprise, the pig's tail began to wag.

"Hello there my beautiful boy," the man said, his voice tinged with a bit of sadness. "I sure am glad to see you." He placed his hands through the grate and petted the pig, who grunted with delight.

Suddenly, the man's shoulders and head slumped as his back began to shake.

"Is he crying?" Kermit whispered.

Unmistakable sobs issued from the man.

"I think so."

Andy strained to hear what the man was saying.

"I wish I could fight for you buddy," the man said, his face screwing up and tears flowing freely now. He let out a few sobs and sniffled. "I wish I could keep you around."

The pig continued to grunt with delight at the man's pets.

"You're probably my only friend," the man continued, sniffling. "If I had more power, I'd keep you around… but I can't. They'd have my head."

The man opened the stable door and slipped inside, giving the boar a hug around his neck and petting his mane.

"You're a good pig," he said. He sat down beside the giant pig, who curled up next to him. The man just sat there. And sat there.

And sat there.

After several minutes had passed, Kermit spoke up.

"That man said he can't save PL?" Kermit said. "What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure," Andy said. "But it doesn't sound good."

"How are we going to get him out of here?" Kermit said.

Andy thought for a moment and realized he didn't know. Even if they managed to get the pig out of the stable, what were they going to do? Ride a stolen boar across town? Keep it in the lounge?

"I think we need to come back when it's dark," Andy said.

"But–"

"I know you want to help him now, but if we rode him out of here in the middle of the day, it would only make things worse. Plus, maybe we can convince Arlene to help. She's stealthy."

Kermit's face fell.

"Hey, look at it this way," Andy said. "We've accomplished step one: we found where they're keeping him and we've scouted out the location. I know it's not what you want to hear, but if we come back tonight, we stand a much better chance of helping him."

Kermit nodded. "Ok," he said. "But we have to tonight."

"Yes," Andy said. "I promise, buddy."

***

The two made their way back through the brush, down the dirt road. The festivities had wrapped up, and all but a few stragglers had vacated the area. The bridge was reopened to the public, and they crossed it with ease.

Then they saw smoke rising from somewhere up ahead.

"What's that?" Kermit asked.

Andy peered up ahead. There seemed to be a large crowd chanting and hollering. The sound of glass shattering. Guards mobilizing.

"That'll show you!" he heard a man call out right before a large, stained-glass window shattered.

A mounted guard proceeded to beat him down with the butt of a spear.

A riot was breaking out.

"Looks like there's some trouble ahead," Andy said. "Let's take the side streets back."