Andy planted his feet in the sand.

Arlene stood to his right, Kermit to his left.

The announcer hovered over to the sidelines.

The crowd swelled with chatter and sporadic cheers, but nothing was happening.

"What's going on?" Andy asked. "Is this some kind of test?"

"Look," Arlene said, pointing to the sky.

Andy saw a dot, slowly growing.

"OUR FIRST CHALLENGE IS NOW DESCENDING, A REMINDER TO THOSE IN THE CROWD, PLEASE COVER YOUR EYES, NOSE, AND MOUTH, AND ANY OTHER ORIFICES THAT YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE IRRITATED BY SAND OR DUST. ADDITIONALLY, THE IMPACT MAY BE UPSETTING FOR THOSE WITH WEAK CONSTITUTIONS. THE YOUNG AND ELDERLY ARE ADVISED TO WAIT OUTSIDE THE ARENA UNTIL IMPACT."

Impact?

A few in the crowd began to clear. Most onlookers remained, but held their clothes over their faces.

The dot grew larger. It seemed to be producing flame as it descended through the atmosphere. It was now low enough that some details were emerging. An angular shape, a flat bottom… an angled… roof? Were those windows?

The falling object began to produce a rumbling sound, at first faint, but growing increasingly loud, as it pushed hurled toward the earth.

"Is that a house?" Andy said.

The falling object's shadow grew darker, more defined, as it finally approached.

The rumbling became deafening. Impact was immanent.

"Turn around!" Arlene yelled.

Andy, Kermit, and Arlene turned around in unison and shielded their faces. Andy drew his sword and planted it in the ground as a barrier behind Kermit, who was holding his frying pan over his head.

Then it hit. Andy didn't hear it so much as feel it. His entire body was shaken to the core as waves of force pushed him forward onto his face. Waves of dust, sand, and dirt blasted past him, filling his nose and getting into his eyes. Then, a moment later, a second wave of sand and dirt fell from the sky, gentler but no less annoying.

Arlene began coughing and hacking.

"You ok?" Andy asked hoarsely, sand kicking around in his throat.

The dust was so thick, he couldn't see much, but he could discern the silhouette of a thumbs-up signal.

"Kermit, you alright?" Andy asked, blowing sand out of his nose and coughing it up out of his mouth.

"I'm fine!" Kermit said without a hint of distress.

A large dune of sand and detritus had piled up onto the broad greatsword that Andy had placed behind the boy, shielding him from the onslaught of the initial impact. His frying pan, now piled with sand, had protected him from the falling debris.

The group continued to shake the dust off of their clothes as the air began to clear up.

Andy turned around. In the middle of the arena, there was a two-story cottage that looked like it had been ripped straight from a German fairy tale. Quaint. Certainly not the kind of thing you'd expect to survive a multi-mile airdrop intact.

Nevertheless, the structure seemed completely unscathed.

The front door creaked open, revealing a pitch-black darkness inside.

"LADIES, GENTLEMEN, AND ALL OUR HAPPY FRIENDS, MAY I INTRODUCE TO YOU, OUR FIRST CHALLENGER!"

A figure in a black cloak stepped out of the cottage. The figure inched forward, walking slowly… deliberately. Finally, the figure stopped. A slender, pale hand emerged from the robe, and another, grasping the hood and pushing it back, revealing the face.

It was… a… nice old lady?

The woman removed her black robe to reveal her cheery disposition. She wore a modest white blouse and a red and green dress. Her countenance was rosy, cheerful, smiling, squinting beneath her full head of curly white hair.

"FOR THE FIRST TIME IN CRESTHAVEN, LET'S HEAR IT FOR… MELIIIIIIIIIINDAAAAAAAAAAA THE COOOOOOOOKIE WITCH!"

The crowd went nuts.

"Cookie witch?" Arlene asked. "Are we supposed to… fight her? She looks like Mrs. Claus. I can't do that."

"I am so confused," Andy said.

"Cookies!" Kermit exclaimed.

"Yes," came the old lady's voice. "Yes hello everyone. I am so happy to be here in Cresthaven among all you beautiful people…"

She was surprisingly good at projecting her voice.

Melinda, apparently the "cookie witch," approached the group.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

"Now, what do you say we bake some cookies? Come now, don't be frightened," she said. "Join me here at my cottage for your first challenge."

"Well… she seems harmless enough," said Arlene.

"THAT'S RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN," the announcer continued. "IT APPEARS THAT MELINDA IS INTENT ON ENGAGING THE GROUP ON HER OWN TERMS… THAT IS, BY BAKING COOKIES!"

Andy, Arlene, and Kermit approached in unison, stepping over waves of sand and dirt before approaching the smooth impact site.

"That's right, dearies," Melinda said. "Come, come, let us whip something up together shall we? This will be a test of your culinary skills!"

Kermit gasped, "I get to cook!" he said.

"You do indeed, dearie," the cookie witch responded cheerfully.

The witch snapped her fingers and several pieces of furniture and tools danced out of the front door and onto the arena floor: a long, tall table, clearly meant to be a workstation, equipped with utensils, measuring cups, and ingredients, followed by a flying broom, a hovering cauldron, and a large furnace that strained to get through the front door frame.

All of the items fell neatly into place: the equipped workspace in front of them, the furnace at one end giving off heat, and the broom and the cauldron landing beside the witch.

"Pardon me," Arlene said, trying unsuccessfully to mask her confusion and annoyance, "but… does our success here in the arena depend on how well we can bake cookies?"

"It does, at least in part," said Melinda. "Besides, what's the issue? Loosen up a little. Baking can be fun!"

"That's right!" Kermit said.

Andy didn't know what to think. It had all of the elements of a deception, a trap. But, at the same time, he had seen how much emphasis Cresthaveners put on food. So, perhaps it was genuine…

Arlene let out a disappointed huff as she pushed her quiver back on her belt, out of the way.

"Now," said Melinda, "I am going to give you three cookies, and your task will be to replicate each one. If you can do it successfully, you'll pass the challenge!"

"Seems simple enough," Andy said.

"Excellent!" said Melinda.

She shuffled slowly into the cottage, her puffy dress bouncing as she took each step. She emerged with a plate of three cookies, placing it on the workspace in front of the group.

"Now, here I have three of my favorite types of cookies: two are recipes traditional to the Infinite Plane, and one is of otherworlder origin. That's all the information I can give you. But go ahead, taste them and see if you can identify the ingredients!"

Kermit reached eagerly for a cookie.

"Wait," Arlene said. "Kermit, you can identify recipes, right? Check it for poison."

"Poison?" Kermit said. He hesitated with the cookies for a moment, his brain now adjusting to the new-to-him possibility that this could all be a deadly trick.

"Oh, now my feelings are hurt," Melinda said with a downcast face. "But I won't stop you. You do whatever you need to do in order to replicate these cookies as best you can, dearies."

Kermit held the cookie and studied it. He was deep in concentration, presumably activating his feat.

"In the meantime, I'm going to give the crowd a little treat," Melinda said.

She turned to the crowd and projected her voice.

"I brought a little treat! How would you all like some cookies!"

The crowd erupted into cheers and applause as hundreds of cookies floated out of the front door of the cottage. Melinda mounted her broom and guided the floating cookies around the arena seating.

Onlookers grasped in the air for the floating cookies, which landed softly in their hands. Cheers turned to mumbles as mouths were filled with sweet cookies.

"She's really working the crowd," Andy said.

Arlene nodded.

"How's the recipe?" she asked.

Kermit remained silent for a moment, then he looked up.

"No poison!" he said. "They're just regular cookies. This one has dates in it," he said with a grimace, "and this one has seeds and molasses," he said.

"Huh," Arlene said, clearly puzzled.

"This one," Kermit said, holding up the third cookie, "is a s'mores cookie!"

Without missing a beat, Kermit took a huge bite, smacking his lips.

Arlene flinched a bit, clearly still concerned, but she didn't stop him.

"If you're sure there's no poison… then I guess there's no harm," she said, reaching for a cookie and smelling it.

"It's… so… goo…d," Kermit said, barely understandable between chewing.

Andy reached for a cookie too, taking a small bite. It must've been the seed and molasses one, judging by the taste. It was strange to his otherworlder palate, delivering both sweetness and the hearty nourishment of various seeds: hemp, chia, flax…

"It's not bad," he said.

"That one is called a bird shit cookie," said Kermit matter-of-factly.

Andy held the now half-chewed food in his mouth for a second without swallowing. He considered spitting it out, but he was certain that insulting the witch's cooking would be disastrous.

He swallowed, wincing.

"And… what's the recipe again?" Andy asked hesitantly.

"A basic cookie dough, and a handful of every seed you have in the house, and molasses," said Kermit.

"So, no actual, you know… bird shit?"

"Nope!" said Kermit. "I don't know why they call it that, but that's the name of it!"

Andy exhaled, grateful that he had ingested neither poison nor excrement.

"ALRIGHT FOLKS, WE'RE OFF TO A GREAT START! KICK BACK AND ENJOY YOUR COOKIES, COURTESY OF OUR FAVORITE COOKIE WITCH MELINDA, WHILE WE WATCH THE NEW ARRIVALS ATTEMPT TO REPLICATE HER BAKED TREATS! A TRUE TEST OF CULINARY CRAFT!"

The crowd let out another round of cheers before settling down.

"I suppose there's not much excitement in a bake-off," said Andy.

"We'll see," said Arlene.

Kermit got to work immediately, preparing ingredients and setting the workspace in order.

"What should we do, chef?" Arlene asked.

Kermit's face lit up. He handed her a bowl and a whisk.

"Ok, you're going to mix," he said.

"I'll measure, since I know the recipes," Kermit said with pride. "And Andy, you can shape the cookies and put them in the oven."

Andy and Arlene both nodded, following Kermit's lead.

"I guess his choice of feats weren't so bad after all," Andy said to Arlene quietly as Kermit continued to arrange and measure ingredients.

"Yeah," said Arlene. "Yeah… maybe you were right."