Meriah stared listlessly to the side as she apparently had not deemed any interaction necessary. Lee slowly began to translate Kooco’s introduction, leaving out the aforementioned sexual assault as his heart felt like it was tearing in two.
While her past was obviously unpleasant, he began having second thoughts about not letting her have hands. He needed to be stern, as her actions as of late were unacceptable, no matter her past, but an inkling of guilt wormed its way into his thoughts. All the 'punishments' he could think of felt cruel. It was one thing to ask for her behavior to change, but another altogether for her to actually change.
Looking at her lying on the ground with dead, emotionless eyes, Lee let loose a sigh and gestured out of their camp. “Meriah, please follow me. I’d like a private conversation.”
She rolled over and used her two nubs to push herself off the ground. She tried to push her glasses back up her small button nose but failed, as she no longer had the hands to complete the action. Lee walked off into the distance, and she slowly followed along.
Once Lee couldn’t hear the rambunctious late-night adventurers anymore, he turned to face Meriah. She slowed to a stop, dead eyes meeting his.
“Kooco told me a little about your past. She said she returned after traveling to find out something terrible had happened to you.” Lee said.
Clarity replaced dead as her eyes widened, a scowl appeared, and she spat angrily. “I was raped! Let’s not skirt around the word.”
Lee held his hands up placatingly as he continued. “I just wanted to let you know that she told me. What happened to you is terrible, and I’m sure everyone would agree if they knew.”
He took a moment and blew air out his nose as he prepared himself for the incoming conversation. “But that doesn’t excuse your actions. Tell me, why did you attack Em? Was it some fear response? Did you have a plan? I want to understand---help me understand.”
Without a second of pause, she answered. Pure vitriol laced her words. “It is an abomination. It is a monster, and monsters must die. Let me ask you a question. Why do you associate—be friends with such a thing? It is so hard to hide my disgust, but you make it look easy.”
Ah… This is a bigger problem than I thought…
Lee crossed his arms and fiddled with the loose sleeves of his robes as he thought. Once finished, he gave Meriah a quick glance. He was growing frustrated, angry, and somewhat tired of being the adult of this hastily thrown-together group. “Did you ever give birth? I assume you didn’t, but if you did, I’m going to assume you killed the…abomination?” He enunciated the word with apparent mockery.
Meriah’s eyes flashed with pure rage, but Lee cut her off and carried on. “I will go ahead and lay out some facts for you. I am not acting. Em is a person. One of her parents was a human—Someone who had been raped, just like you. So, before we can even continue this conversation, you need to realize that she is just like me and you.”
Lee animatedly pointed a finger at her, clearly showing that he could point and she could not. “You are either a racist or speciest, maybe both. That alone will get you killed one day. You do understand that, right? You’re going to act out against someone you either don’t understand or don’t like, strictly because of their appearance or race, and get killed. You’ll be dead in a ditch and leave Kooco and those few who can stand your very presence alone in this world, which is infested with monsters- monsters you find abhorrent.”
Lee carried on. “Do you know what I think about what you've done when I look at you? I think you're suicidal. That you want to die.”
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Meriah glared but stayed silent.
“Do you want to die?" Lee genuinely asked. "Is this some sick, twisted suicide attempt? Death by ‘monster.’” Lee finished with air quotes.
After another few seconds of silence, Lee gave up, nodded, and walked toward the camp. He spoke to her as he began to pass. “Grab your things and leave. You’re not traveling with us anymore.”
“The fuck? What?” She spluttered out, anger, shock, and fear masking her face.
“You heard me. You’re done. Good luck out there.” Lee said as he continued on towards his camp.
He heard her quickly approaching footsteps and glanced over to find Meriah trying her best to draw her sheathed daggers, but with no hands, it was a fruitless endeavor.
Lee cast a spell, speaking into the air which whipped across his face, before stopping to face her. “You do want to die. Don’t you?” He spoke with little surprise and a lot of pity.
Deciding that she couldn’t draw her weapons, she instead lunged forward into a shoulder charge, one Lee was ready for. He cast another spell, Blind, on Meriah as she surged past. The whites of her eyes slowly transitioned into a darker tone---a dark gray, which slowly shifted into two pitch-black voids.
She toppled to the ground after tripping and started to heave in air—hyperventilating as her eyes darted back and forth.
Lee stood still and waited as she lay there, panicking on the ground. “I’m not going to kill you.”
He wasn’t speaking loudly, but he was sure she could hear him as her eyes slowed in their movements. “Why do you want to die? You know that Kooco would be devastated, right?”
Her eyes began to tear up, and she finally spoke. Her voice was shaky and filled with grief. “She’d be free. She could—She wouldn’t have to take care of me.”
She started to sob and ugly cry as she took ragged breaths. Lee spoke calmly. “Kooco loves you. Do you think she doesn’t? Do you think she would be happy if you got killed?”
Lee shuffled through the grass loudly, letting his presence be known and masking the arrival of another as he spoke again. Meriah was full-out bawling on the ground now. “I think you know the answer to that. You know, I don’t think you actually hate people like Em. I think they just remind you of times past. She didn’t have anything to do with what happened to you. I know that—you know that.”
Lee now stood by her side. “You know, in the past, I would have done anything just to have a little bit more time. You only live once—One and done. I’ve met with Death before, and while he might be kind in his own way, it dawns on you quickly that what he offers is permanent and scary.”
He knelt and settled the small, silently crying bird listening in onto his head. “Things take time, but they do get better.”
Lee knelt in the grass and let Meriah cry—get it all off her chest. When she was hiccuping and tear-stricken, he spoke again. “So, you don’t want to hold Kooco back? Is that it?”
Meriah nodded, still blind and softly sobbing. “Why do you think you’re holding her back? Do you think she doesn’t want to be with you?”
Meriah gave a shaky shrug and started sobbing harder as she spoke. “I wish I could understand her. We—Most of the time I just talk to her, and she listens. But, I remember. I remember when she came back and looked at me. Clear as day. Within seconds, she knew she couldn’t leave me. She left one family for another, then did it again.”
Lee felt Kooco’s tears wetting his hair as he put together some of the pieces. He asked softly, understanding carrying through his voice. “Did she leave to make a family of her own?”
Meriah crumpled as she nodded, guilt marring her features as she continued to sob. Kooco fluttered down and landed on Meriah’s chest, shocking her for only a single moment. But, she didn’t need to see who it was. She wrapped her arms around Kooco and hugged her as she lay on the grass, crying.
Kooco cooed and spoke up, a slight wobble in her voice. “Friend Lee Barnes, translate for me, please.”
“Sister Meriah Camp, I love you. No matter what you do or what you become, my heart is big enough to remember how it was. Those memories will never fade. I have many a family, but the only one I have lost is you. You lost yourself and it’s becoming harder to find my sister within.”
“If you die, who else will eat my tasty eggs?” Kooco sniffled but gave a short laugh.
“Kooco, that’s called unconditional love.” Lee said with a slight smile.
Lee translated it word for word and only stayed for another minute before heading back to camp. He knew they couldn’t understand one another, but some things didn’t need to be said. He swiped a little tear from the corner of his eye as he was reminded of the family he no longer had.
Along the walk, he thought back to a few of his previous conversations with Kooco and remembered one of her abilities. A smile sprang up on his face as he now understood.
Kooco always knew where her family was.