“FUCKING MAGUM!”
I had no idea what the qualification of a hero was, but it would be a cold day in hell before I let that midget guide me anywhere.
Suddenly, a voice hissed from behind me.
“So mortal, it appears that you know my host, yet she has no memory of you. Curious.”
It paused, as though waiting for me to offer an explanation. I rubbed my temples.
‘I have no time to deal with an evil monologue, get threatened, or make a deal with a devil… so…’
THWAK!
It wasn’t my proudest moment, but I smacked Jesse on the top of her possessed skull to knock her unconscious. I needed to move and couldn’t have the demon making any trouble.
Congratulations, You have unlocked the Ability: Non Lethal Methods.
Non Lethal Methods: A skill governing the ability to restrain or otherwise incapacitate foes while causing a minimum of harm (1/10).
Skill detected, “Autodidact,” would you like to transfer 100 experience points to level Non Lethal Methods? Y/N.
I raised the skill to five and learned that concussions do not, in fact, work the way that I thought they did. With its advanced healing, Jesse/the demon would regain consciousness in a matter of seconds. Fortunately, the knowledge presented another solution: I quickly worked some of my mana into a subsection of her hypothalamus.
‘That should keep her out for at least a couple of hours.’
Throwing Jesse over my shoulder, I sprinted back towards the lobby.
***********************
Magum rested against a wall in the corner of the lobby. The regular citizens had made it out by this point, so all that remained were guards, adventurers, and other nuisances. They clashed in front of him, with what he perceived to be such a lack of skill, it couldn’t even be considered entertainment. Suddenly a gnome, clad in furs and wielding a sword the size of his own body, was knocked off his feet and took flight directly at Magum.
Magum stepped to the side and sighed, watching the gnome smash into the wall beside him.
I’m too damn old to have to deal with all of this again.’ He thought as he removed a vial from his belt and uncorked it.
The gnome pulled himself to his feet and glared at Magum.
“What are yo-”
Magum splashed the contents of the vial onto the man’s face, dropping him back to the floor, snoring, before the gnome even knew what hit him.
‘How much longer am I going to have to wait!’
This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
Magum’s patience was wearing thin, but he was stuck. Unless he wanted to suffer the system’s backlash, he had to at least try to help “the hero” in whatever asinine endeavor he was currently undertaking.
Right then, as if on cue, Noah emerged from parts unknown with a demoness slung over his shoulder.
‘Well… that’s certainly… unexpected…’
Hopping over the unconscious fighter, he hurried over to Noah, shouting his name to get his attention.
*****************
‘That little shit!'
I rushed Magum, grabbed him by the throat, and lifted him off the floor.
“What the fuck did you do! How did you know about her!”
Magum grabbed my fingers and attempted to pry them apart. To my shock, he actually got them partially open before I firmed my grip.
“SPEAK!”
Magum looked annoyed and threw his hands in the air, as if to ask how he was supposed to do that while I choked him.
I sighed.
Just then, I heard Lydia call out. “There you ar- what the fuck are you doing?”
“I need some questions answered.”
“Well, the cops are going to arrive any minute, so unless it needs to be now, we should go.”
“Ugh.”
I knew she was right, but I wasn’t about to let Magum go. Using my new trick, I forced some mana into him. After a few moments of resistance, his eyes closed and he went limp.
“Okay.” I motioned to the floor. “Grab Jesse and let's get the hell out of here.”
**********************
‘Huh, a kidnapping or a rescue mission. This is more interesting than I expected.’ Magum thought to himself. Satisfied, he decided to keep feigning unconsciousness and see where the madness led.
***********************
After we left, we hurried to find a place to hide. We needed to find a nearby place to hide since it would be difficult to explain why we were carrying an unconscious teenage girl.
Fortunately, the auction had not been held in the best area, so we were able to locate an abandoned building without too much fuss. After a little fiddling and an EXP investment in Lockpicking, we were inside.
As I set down the bodies, I heard Lydia inhale, getting ready to speak.
“She’s from my world.” I stated, anticipating her question.
“Her name is Jessie Goldblum, and I knew her from the other side. She was one of my students. We died at the same time…”
I realized that while I had given Lydia a general outline of how I came to this world, I hadn’t ever told her the specifics of my death, and the passage of time didn’t make thinking about it any less traumatic.
“There was an earthquake--a complete freak occurrence. The ceiling gave way and debris was headed for her and another girl… so I pushed the other one clear…”
Fuck, it felt bad. Life had become so fantastical and weird that I didn’t have the time or the inclination to revisit my “last” moments. So faced with the consequences of my decision, it came flooding back.
“I know it wasn’t my fault, I could only save one… but I still… chose.” I honestly wasn’t sure if I was talking this to Lydia or myself.
‘Focus on the problem. This is not the time for self pity.”
I activated Meditation, took a moment, and pulled myself together.
“I see,” Lydia said, eventually breaking the silence. “So how did she get here?”
“That is the question. Well, one question. It could be related to me… but my guess is that it had more to do with the dick god that sent me here. However, one complication is that her age is all wrong. When I saw her six months ago, she was ten. When I read her on the stage, she was 19. So where the hell did those extra years come fro-”
The voice I detested most in the world cut me off.
“I think I may be able to answer that,” replied my other, apparently very conscious, captive.
‘Fucking Magum.”