Chapter 26 - Mysterious Old Wizard

Magum sipped bloodwine as he stirred his new concoction. It was an inherently useless potion. Its effects were amusing but ultimately harmless. Still, Magum brewed it to loving perfection. His pride refused to do anything less.

Magum was a man simultaneously cursed and blessed by the system. His blessing was that he possessed a powerful inherent trait, Guiltless Alchemist. It allowed him to level up by learning reagents, brewing concoctions, and designing new potions. He need not traipse throughout the world slaughtering monsters like an unwashed F rank adventurer. He grew stronger by simply doing what he loved. Potions were his greatest joy: every new recipe soothed his traumas and rejuvenated his lust for life. This was why he would never opt for The Slumber like the others. His great work had no finishing line—knowledge had no end.

On the other hand, his curse was a self-inflicted wound, the archetypal trait Mysterious Old Wizard. Archetypal traits were unique insofar as they were not determined at birth. No one was born The Hero, The Villain, or The Archmage. They were earned by accomplishments and clarity of purpose.

The exact qualifications were tricky. Although much had been written on them over the years (no matter the incarnation, The Bard never shuts up), there were no set criteria that could unlock them. People would be living their lives, when suddenly presented with a choice. In a moment, they could gain great power and abilities, enabling them to soar above others. However, this came with a price. Their fate would become connected to the system.

All potentials were told they would be “intertwined,” but few could predict what they meant. They were inviting fate to nudge them along a path. As in all things, the system had rules. It did not engage in mind control. It did not force people’s decisions. Their choices and reactions were their own. However, it could shift probabilities and alter chance. A pot inexplicably falls from a windowsill attracting The Hero’s attention. He investigates the alley, and what does he find? A princess, as brave as she is beautiful, from a broken nation being robbed by ruffians. How thrilling.

Truthfully, for most, this was desirable. It was a life with seemingly endless fortuitous encounters. The power and opportunity were always present. You may die trying to acquire them, but you had the clues to find what you needed when you needed it.

Magum’s part to play was the Mysterious Old Wizard. When paired with a Hero or someone the system deemed as having hero potential, he would gain foresight into how to develop them to become who they wanted to or, more often, needed to be. Oh, and this process provided buffs. Lots and lots of buffs for both Magum and his mentee. As such, for centuries, Magum’s path was happily tied with that of tragic farm boys, rogues with hearts of gold, and nobles cast aside by villainous brothers. The perks were excellent. He dined with kings, overthrew tyrants, and, his crowning achievement, bottled a single vial of eternal youth. It was his potions and counsel that fueled King Joshua’s rise and helped put an end to the scourge that was dragonkind.

Yet, the downside grew obvious as time passed. The Hero is not a hero without long odds: a great foe to overcome, calamity to prevent, or loss to avenge. Their ascent was paved with tragedy. And, he, at their side, often shared this fate. Wives, children, and friends could all be taken in a flash. Of course, it was inevitable that he would outlive them. His lifespan had surpassed that of normal people even before he took his one elixir of eternal youth. Yet, the proximity of his loved ones' deaths to those he mentored tracked closely enough to make him wonder. He hoped this was a coincidence. If you live long enough, everything that could happen, would happen. But he grew suspicious that his pain was being used to… provide motivation, as though his life was a sick metaphysical plot device designed to push The Hero to even greater heights. It was this conjecture, unproven as it was, that prompted Magum’s withdrawal from the world.

Unfortunately, while he was done with fate, fate was not done with him. No matter where he went, heroes would arrive at his doorstep. He once moved to the top of a mountain that was surrounded by demons on an island enshrouded in fog. Surely, that would bring him solitude. No. Three heroes showed up in the span of 25 years. THREE! It was astonishing. What's more, no matter what he said, they wouldn’t leave. They treated his discouragement as a test, just setting up camp and waiting to learn his wisdom. This was when he learned another rule of Archetypal Traits. Magum could not completely ignore the role that he willingly accepted. After he made the last hero wait for a year, he received a notification chastising him, and a freak lightning bolt burned down his hut. Magum left the mountain, and the once impulsive hero learned the power of patience, just as The Oracle foretold. He fucking loathed prophecy magic.

After a century of this, he figured out the rules. Completely ignoring or attempting to undermine the heroes would be met with reprisals. However, the loophole was free will. If the Hero wanted nothing to do with him, the system would not intervene, and he would suffer no backlash. So Magum kept his head low, stayed far away from anything important, and played the role of a shady, unhinged merchant. The system still guided heroes to him, but what respectable person would care to associate with such an unstable character? It was not always successful. Sometimes he still was dragged into larger narratives, but sometimes, he drove heroes away entirely. Magum chuckled thinking about Klein. The guy was so uptight that a single lead requiring him to visit an interspecies brothel scared him away forever.

Yet, this new kid worried Magum. He absolutely reeked of destiny. The way Magum’s potion inexplicably went wrong, the way the kid arrived at just the right moment, the way the boy “nobly” resolved the situation—dead giveaways. Hell, his attitude reminded Magum of Joshua in his early days.

Even worse was that Magum couldn’t read him, peering into his soul was like staring into a nightmare. He had hoped that sending him to the dark auction would be enough to dissuade him from ever returning. There was surely something there that would offend his delicate hero sensibilities. Yet, the snargrass inexplicably appearing showed the system was working overtime on this one.

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Magum finished his wine and dropped the final ingredient into his brew. After it settled, he bottled it and left the cauldron simmering for effect. He then poured ogre bile into a separate cauldron. After he dropped in a match, a stench so malevolent that it would make a gnoll lose his lunch filled the store.

‘Perfect.’

Magum smiled. He had to admit, the next part was a little fun.

*******************************

I walked into Magum’s shop and was immediately bombarded by the foulest odor that I ever encountered. The stench was so thick that I swore I could feel it landing on my tongue. If it wasn’t for Lydia, I’d have left without hesitation.

Magum looked over and greeted me.

“Ah. Hello my friend!. Welcome back to Magum’s Mystery Emporium. Your second visit in so many days. It’s clear you're a man of excellent taste and discernment.”

I opened my mouth to speak and gagged. “What COUGH is COUGH that COUGH odor?”

“Oh yes, forgive me. There was a slight mishap with another of my concoctions. I added a Manticore eyeball instead of a Mantis eyeball. A mistake that can happen to anyone, I assure you. Pay it no mind. Now, how can this humble peddler be of service?”

Against every instinct, I open my mouth again. “I came to see if you had any snargrass.”

“Oh my. That's a rare ingredient for a lowly merchant such as myself. Why do you think I would have such fantastical goods?”

“That wasn’t a no.”

A smug look flashed across Magum’s face. “Indeed. I just was setting the mood. The tone of a business deal is essential to the outcome, don’t you think?”

‘Excellent, Lydia’s life is in the hands of an idiot.’

“Yes. Of course. Absolutely essential.”

“A Kindred Spirit! How my heart is stirred!” Magum grabbed his chest in emphasis.

“How much will it cost?”

“Surely, you don’t think a product as valuable as this could be purchased for mere money?”

‘… … … Don’t punch him, don’t punch him, don’t punch him.’

“Well, I have found stores typically value goods and services with money.”

“How boring. No flair for the dramatic whatsoever. Magum’s Mystery Emporium could never allow such things to stand.”

“Listen, the matter is urgent. What can I do to leave the store with it now?”

“Hmm…” Magum paused, thinking deeply. “I’ve got it!”

He glanced over at the counter. There was a simmering cauldron. “I suppose I am in need of a healthy test subject.”

‘It’s for Lydia, don’t punch him. It’s for Lydia, don’t punch him.’

“I see. And what do you need a test subject for?”

“Oh, nothing that could put someone as strong as you in jeopardy, I promise. It's a potion I’m developing for the ladies. Guaranteed to change the color of your hair! Woman do so love their hair!”

“... … …And why do you need me to do it?”

“For some reason, my usual test subjects have stopped coming around.”

“For some reason?”

“Yes, It’s very mysterious.”

‘This is a terrible idea… but it probably shouldn’t do anything with my resistances.’

“Is it a permanent color change?”

“No, It should only last a few days, a week tops, depending on your resistances.”

“Okay, I’ll help.”

“What joy!” Magum shouted, raising his hands toward the sky. He scurried behind the counter and retrieved a glass of purple liquid.

“Here you go, my wonderful collaborator!”

I took the vial from his hand and smelled it. Mercifully, it was not the odor that had pervaded the store.

‘Listen Noah, nothing is going to happen to you. Your resistances are preposterous, and this was brewed by an idiot.

I raised the vial and downed it quickly, before I could rethink it.

You have voluntarily taken a potion with neutral effects. Would you like to attempt to resist? Y/N

‘Can’t get that for alcohol, can I? Still, Yes.'

Your Magic Resistance has provided you with the chance to overcome transfiguration. Sorry, you have failed to resist transfiguration.

Congratulations, You have unlocked the Skill: Transfiguration Resistance.

Transfiguration Resistance: Skill governing the ability to resist Transfiguration effects. Current Rank (1/10).

Skill detected, “Autodidact,” would you like to transfer 100 experience points to level Transfiguration Resistance? Y/N.

‘WHAT! How did I fail? I’ve never failed a resistance check my entire time here.'

Even when I didn’t have the appropriate skills, I had passed my resistance checks. How did something this idiot brewed get past it? There was clearly more to this guy that it seemed… I extended my arm to give back the vial.

‘Why is my hand purple?’

“Magum… what happened?”

“I would call it a mixed success. Your hair is the color I wanted it, but so is the rest of you.”

“So… I am entirely purple?”

“I’m afraid so, my friend.”

‘Leave before you kill him.’

“Give me the snargrass!”

“My friend, I’m sure the effect will only be temporary!”

“Give me the snargrass, now!”

Magum gulped, retrieved the snargrass from behind the counter, and turned it over. He continued to talk as I left the store, but I ignored him. Frustrated, I hurried back to the healers, ignoring the strange looks from all who I passed.