The forest around Wolfbrunn rubbed me the wrong way. I couldn't recognize any of the flora, obviously, but it was more than that. It felt wrong, as if it couldn't decide on a single biome. The canopy blocked out the sun in huge patches, but thinned considerably in others. Some parts of the forests were closer to a jungle, all vines and malaria, while other portions were more like the alpines, nothing but wood and grass. The temperature was completely neutral, which means neither of those should have come to be.
But that was just me trying to understand what I cannot. There were glowing mushrooms, the occasional floating rock, and trees that warped almost 90 degrees. The forest was completely inconsistent nonsense, and I felt like a boy again, afraid of what mysterious creatures may lurk in the undergrowth.
Despite all this, nature was nature. I could hear birdcalls from the canopy, and critters skurry through the bushes. I could hear the leaves rustle in the gentle wind, carrying the scent of grass. I was sure that this place followed the rules, as they were, even if I didn't understand the local variety quite yet.
I remembered where I was. Riding with almost 50 people, on our way to the last known position of the scouts that came before. The two teams rode separate, the knights leading the group as Amelie navigated her way to our destination. They trotted in formation, avoiding any large patches of darkness and thick trees, and worming their way through the thinner areas.
Behind the Knights were the 'adventurers', following the person in front of them in a loose mob. Most of them looked comfortable on the saddle, though some were considerably less so. It was a funny thought to me, that some adventurers don't know how to ride. I ain't too sure how they plan to do much adventuring on foot.
"Watcha thinkin' about?" came a voice from next to me, breaking me out of my stupor.
It was the waitress from what I now knew was the Adventurers Guild, the 'Catgirl'. She wore a full-leather ensemble and had two daggers strapped to the small of her back, alongside a bow and quiver. Her hair was brown, and her tail and extra pair of ears were the same color.
I sighed. Ever since Hound mentioned that I killed Huffman, every single non-human here decided I was some sort of champion for their cause, and immediately proceeded to harass me. Some of the guards didn't appreciate me, but I noticed hound watching them the moment he made his declaration. He was obviously fishing for dissidents in the ranks, and used me as bait. Bastard.
Now, these people won't leave me the hell alone. "I ain't interested in small talk."
She rolled her eyes, and her tail rolled with them. "Oh come on, tough guy! You looked all pensive and thoughtful. I'm just curious as to what 'deep thoughts' clank around in that head of yours."
I sighed. "Why in God's name are you all determined to annoy me to death?"
She smiled. "You don't remember what happened last night, do you?"
"No. Care to enlighten me?"
"Sorry. I ain't interested in small talk."
I cracked a minuscule smile at that. "Touche. Fine, let's talk."
We circled around a ridiculously large tree, and I heard another set of hooves coming to join us. It was the Wolfman. "Oh, are you finally willing to converse? Excellent!" he declared, loudly. He was wearing actual armor this time, although his grey fur still stuck out around every gap, making him look even scruffier.
Here we go again. "Whoa there, I don't recall inviting you."
"And I don't recall giving you invitation rights!" joked the Catgirl, bright smile on her face.
The Wolfman rode up alongside us. "I hope our relationship is not soured by my previous behavior. You see, all new prospects are 'put through the wringer' if you will. It is my job, as the most physically intimidating member, to test them on their combat prowess and behavioral patterns."
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"You beat the hell out of everybody who walks through those doors?" I asked.
"Only the tough ones."
I spit to the side. "Tough enough for you?"
The Catgirl spoke up. "You're an entire core ahead of him, you shoulda put him down real quick. You've got no technique, you know?"
The Wolfman nodded. "Indeed. I understand you to be a marksman of sorts, but you lack a fundamental understanding of how to use your strength."
I nodded. They were right, and I appreciated the help. "Where I'm from, we had no idea this kind of shit existed. I'm still learning."
The Wolfman smiled, I think, and nodded in return. "I imagine such a story will become more and more common as time marches on."
He clapped his hands together, opened his mouth, then wobbled as he began to lose his balance. He quickly grabbed onto the reigns again. "Introductions!" he said, pretending that didn't just happen. "My name is Alejandro."
"And I'm Tess," said the Catgirl.
I nodded, ignoring the lack of last names. "I doubt I need to introduce myself"
"We've heard your name enough for a lifetime," said Tess. She took her hands off the reigns and cupped them around her mouth. "Sophie! Aghe! Get over here!" she yelled.
Soon after, two more horses split off from the group, carrying even more goddamn people. One of them was a small girl in hooded white robes, bouncing with every single step of the horse. She was holding the reins in a death grip, and her behind was surely sore by now. I could see tuffs on blonde hair cascading down her shoulders, also flying into the air with every bump.
The other I could only describe as a 'Lizard-Lady'. I had seen her before but never had a chance to meet her. As far as I can remember, anyway. She had a thick tail full of scales that was coiled around her horses flank, and similar scales lined her limbs much as the Chaira's did. She was massive, about the same size as Alejandro.
Tess pointed at the small girl. "That's Sophie, the other one is Aghe."
The two girls pulled in with the rest of us. They had to yell for us to hear them, as our formation of horses was beginning to take up a lot of space, and the sound of five horses trotting in unison forced the rest of us to speak up anyway. "Why the introductions? We met last night!" yelled Aghe, her voice deeper than I would have expected.
Tess's tail spun in small circles as she laughed. "He doesn't remember!"
Aghe laughed back. "Ha! Seriously?! Oh man, don't tell him!"
"Tell me what!?" I yelled, patience wearing thin.
"Nothing!" they declared in unison.
I heard a faint whisper as Sophie tried to speak up, but she wasn't loud enough for us to hear. Aghe patted her back, almost sending her flying off the horse. "Speak up, Soph!"
"H-hello again, Lord Jones..." came a young voice. Too young.
Maybe she just sounded like a kid, but I wasn't sure. I tipped my hat. "Howdy. Again."
Tess laughed yet again. "Howdy? What does that even mean?"
Alejandro piped in. "Context would imply it to be a local greeting of sorts."
"He can answer the question himself, Furbag!" yelled Aghe.
I scratched my beard. "I ain't too sure, actually. It's just a greeting."
This time it was Jeff's turn to pipe in. "It's short for 'How do you do?'."
Oh yeah, that was it. How the hell did he even know that?
"Oh! That's a lot easier to say," said Tess. She mimicked me, miming a tip of the hat. "Howdy, ny'all!"
She was silent for a moment, then blushed violently, covering her mouth. Everybody else, save for Sophie, fell into a laughing fit.
"Did I miss something?" I asked, confused.
Alejandro shook his head, trying his best to force the smile off his face. "Just a bit of a speech impediment. Don't tease her about it, as she's liable to claw your eyes out."
"It's hereditary you asshole!"
I nodded, and decided to extend the hand of mercy and change the subject. "So I take it y'all know each other?"
Tess nodded, eager to accept my mercy. "Yup. We've been an official party for years. Alejandro is the tank, I'm the marksman, Aghe is the middle guard, and Sophie is our healer. We make a damn good team."
I nodded. I wasn't familiar with some of the terms, but it wasn't hard to put together. "What kind of things do you hunt?"
Aghe answered for her. "Anything that's a danger. Our specialty is B-Class monster hunts, though this shithole of a kingdom doesn't have much of a selection."
Yeah, I don't know what that meant, but I didn't care enough to ask. I just nodded. "Well, pleasure meeting y'all," I said, as I tried to escape the encirclement.
"Where do you think you're going, mister advisor?" asked Tess.
"Come now, friend. No need to run away," said Alejandro. "None of these fine ladies bite...okay, that was objectively untrue."
I was saved by Amelie of all people. I heard her scream from the front of the group. "Attention! We are approaching the danger zone! Everybody, eyes up!"
The group went silent immediately. They reached for their weapons and began to scan the treeline like professionals. I didn't think they had it in them, but I suppose their rank wasn't for show.
We were approaching a considerably darker part of the forest. We've been avoiding patches of thick canopies the whole way here, but this one expanded as far as I could see. There was no going around it, and I'd bet my bottom dollar that our destination is dead center.
This wasn't going to be pretty.