Of the three city walls I've seen, this one was by far the biggest. Wolfsbane's walls were roughly 20 feet tall and extended as far as I could see. The stone was unnaturally smooth, as if built by machines. From my understanding, the people of Wolfsbane didn't have much of a concept of an assembly line, so I can only assume that its magic.

We had been riding for three days or so. The carriage had been halfway on its journey when I arrived, which makes the distance between Wolfsbane and the Liang Clan a week's journey by horse. Was it just a coincidence that New California and the town of the Chaira were so close? I had no way of knowing.

I was atop Jeff, who had somehow been silent for the entire ride, determined to play dumb. I had no opportunity to ask him about it, but I presume he knows something I don't.

He usually does.

The carriage and remaining guards approached the massive wooden gate, which immediately opened. I suppose they recognized the carriage, though the security is a tad lax.

Amelie spoke up, as if reading my mind. "The gate is keyed into the carriage's magical signature. It's impossible to fake, even to the most knowledgeable of sages."

I grunted in acknowledgment. I wasn't much for infiltration anyway.

She hadn't grown to like me much in the last three days. Maybe it was almost blowing her torso off, or maybe it was my lack of decorum. From what I'd gathered, the latter insults her far more than the former.

"Now now, we've all learned a few things about whats 'impossible'," chimed in the Old Man, whose name was Luo Liang. "The enormity of the heavens and earth are not for us mortals to fathom."

I had only learned his name yesterday, overhearing it in a conversation. I never bothered to ask.

Amelie's response was cut short, as we passed through the gate. Young men in shiny armor were saluting as we passed, single hand over heart, while the other hand held a spear. Since we three were the strongest, we had the 'honor' of leading the carriage. That's why i had a clear view of the city interior.

I'd heard of bigger cities, back when I was on Earth. I can only imagine they looked something like this. There were buildings as far as i could see, most only a single story, though several many more. They were made of mostly wood and stone, and were far from uniform.

I could see a tavern near the entrance, looking almost identical to what I was used to. Next to it was a six story stone tower, its purpose unknown to me. Across the street was a quiant little store, and it neighbored a tailor twice its size.

Clearly, the construction wasn't properly planned. Which made it strange how well it all came together. I could liken it to a room you've stayed in for a long time. Sure, its a mess, and everything is scattered across the floor, but you know damn well where everything is. It was an odd feeling, considering I've obviously never been here before.

"How quaint," remarked Luo. He looked disdainful.

Amelie ignored him. "I'll lead the way, follow me, and don't stray too far."

I scoffed. "Afraid I'll get lost?"

"Yes," she said.

Yeah, fair enough.

----------------------------------------

I never thought I'd bathe in a tub the size of a house, but here I was. I was in a castle, large enough to fit a small town's population into. I didn't have time to appreciate much of it, as I was ushered into the bath the moment I arrived. I suppose a month's worth of natural musk wasn't appropriate for such an opulent setting.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

It took a bit of exploring, as I shooed away the attendants before they could give me a proper tour of the facilities. I was reasonably sure this was the bathtub I was supposed to use, despite its enormous size.

I wasn't sure if they had house-sized baths for everybody, or the princess was trying to butter me up. Perhaps I'm considered a man of stature now, as apparently strength is the only virtue that matters. That's true anywhere, but its taken to quite the extreme as of late.

The water was perfect, filled with a soap that seemed magical in its feeling against my skin. It probably was. Even so, I felt like I shouldn't be here, as if such wealth wasn't for a man of my stature.

Then again, I know full well that Invoking said feeling was the entire point of displays of wealth, so fuck it. Maybe I'd piss in the water.

"Please don't piss in the water."

I swiveled around, drawing my Walker. The voice came from directly behind me. It should have been impossible for anyone to sneak up on me, in a massive, echoey chamber. I would have heard the splash or felt the water move.

Nonetheless, there a man stood. Well, more of a boy, really. He was blonde and looked like he was in his early 20s. I didn't bother taking in many more details, as I was a half-second away from turning the water red.

"Whoa! Relax!" he yelled, raising his hands in surrender. "I come in pea..." he trailed off, looking down the barrel of my gun.

He fell silent and put his hands together. He closed his eyes and looked as if he was in deep contemplation. I kept my gun steady.

He opened his eyes after a few moments, then looked into mine. "Why do you have a gun?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I growled.

He looked genuinely confused. "Because this is a hot spring?"

"And?"

He fell silent for another moment. "Ok, that's not really the question I wanted to ask. What I really want to know is... where did you keep it?"

I stayed silent, still trying to parse the situation.

"Did you...did you shove it up your ass?"

"...Huh?"

His face took on a serious expression. "I asked you if you shoved your oversized revolver up your anal cavity. That thing has got to be at least 14 inches. If that's the case, I'm afraid no man could ever satisfy you. May I suggest-"

I let the gun drop. If he was here to kill me, I'd rather he get it over with so I don't have to suffer through this joke of a conversation. I stood up, revealing my belt still wrapped around my waist. I'm never without it. Normally I would have used my Peacemaker, as my old Walker wouldn't have been submergible. It fires magic now, though, so I reckon it would work just fine.

He put a hand over his heart and breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank god. I'd hate for your ass juice to dirty up such a nice spring. Though I suspect its too late for that, as you don't seem to know the difference between a hot spring and a bathtub."

"I know what the difference is, I just...didn't realize."

"You thought it was a bathtub that could fit dozens of people?"

"Is that not something rich folk would do?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment, then nodded. "Fair enough."

This was an incredibly stupid conversation, and I hate to engage him. But something was bugging me. "How did you know I was considering pissing in the water?"

He shrugged. "You just had a 'planning to piss in the water' kind of face."

Was it really so easy to tell what I was thinking? Second time today. And here I thought I was stone-faced.

Or maybe there was something else at play.

We fell silent, and I used the moment to look him over. He looked dainty, fair skin and delicate disposition suggesting a life spent with thick walls and wallets between him and every problem. He had the same overly-beautiful features as just about everybody I'd met here, but his face was...softer. Less exaggerated, maybe. His long blonde hair trailed all the way down to his mid-back, completely straight and even.

"Like what you see?" he asked.

"I 'like' the way you snuck up on me. How'd you do it?"

He shrugged innocently. "What do you mean?"

I gestured towards our surroundings, Walker back in its holster. "We're in the middle of a massive goddamn...hot spring, apparently. You would have had to wade through dozens of feet of waist-high water to get to me."

"Oh. That. Sorry, didn't mean to surprise you. It's just how I get around."

"I'm not looking for an apology, I want to know how," I insisted. That would be an incredibly useful trick.

He laughed. "Oh! How pragmatic of you! Sorry, but that's a lot to ask of someone that you just met. Why don't we...get to know each other a little better first?" he said, winking.

Right. This was a lost cause. I'd decided that I'd rather have this conversation when we aren't both naked in a steamy spring, so it was time for a tactical retreat.

I said nothing more as I turned back and began to wade towards the exit. I made it to the fancy wooden door before the blonde man called out to me. "Hold on a moment!"

I turned around, arms crossed. "What do you want?"

He outstretched one arm and kept the other close to his chest. He smiled, and formed finger guns in both hands. He then made a clicking noise with his mouth, and mimed a shot with his finger guns.

"Nice cock."

I slammed the door shut behind me.