What? Alive? Who? Of course, I didn’t get an answer to that as I was forced back to life with a gasp. My body had landed in an awkward and uncomfortable position, caught between a few rocks in a slightly twisted manner. It took some effort to wiggle out of there, but I got back on my feet only to be faced with the Titanoboa again.
The gigantic beast glared at me from its elevated height, slit eyes sending chills down my spine. “You’ve changed yourself. Is that another trick of hers, or a deceit of your own?” In the haze that clouded my mind at the moment, I had to think about the words they spoke before realizing that death undid my disguise.
“It doesn’t matter.” It said with a slight shake of its gigantic head. “This will all finally end with my death. You happy? Finally stamped the last of us out. Sssafess sssacraten.” The last words escaped me, which brought attention to the fact it was speaking to me mostly in a language already in my database of knowledge until the end there.
That line of thought was interrupted when its body started to coil, lending credence to its serpentine nature as it was poised to strike. “Come then, destroyer. I will not simply roll over and die, you will have to earn this last kill!”
This thing was prepared for an epic clash, a life-or-death struggle, a battle for the ages, and I... I was still trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. My mouth opened and closed a few times as I mimed a fish. Eventually I just ended up pinching the bridge of my nose before giving up entirely.
“Okay! Time the fuck out!” I don’t know what the danger noodle was expecting from me, but it obviously wasn’t that. They ended up twitching slightly, membrane eyelids blinking as it watched me closely. I didn’t give them any mind though because I was so done with the last twenty-four hours.
“First off, I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about! Second, I didn’t come down here expecting to find a damn overgrown murder lizard!” It hissed at me; I ignored them. “Third, who the fuck just opens a conversation by smacking the other party against a wall first thing! And finally, I’ve had a very emotionally charged couple of days that I've been trying to handle as best I can. While my therapist would want me to vent about this in a healthy way, I don’t think she accounted for me being led by the collar by a gang of fucking pixies deep into the woods, pressganged by a talking bush into coming down here, and then meeting a damn nope rope with a murderous mommy complex!”
I sat there panting as the two of us glared at one another. “If you think you can catch me off guard by raving like a madman, then you are mistaken.”
Wha... That’s what you come out of that with?! I was done. I picked up a rock and hurled it at the stupid noodle. Highly ineffective, but it helped my sanity at least.
“Did you listen to ANYTHING that I've said!?” I threw up my hands. “You know what, fuck this, I'm out of here. Rot in the ground for all I care.”
As I started to move back towards the exit, a light from underneath the scales of the giant serpent cast a bloody glow. The ground started to rumble beneath my feet and then I saw the exit seal itself with a wall of stone. There went that plan. Now I could only stand there with a look of utter exhaustion on my face.
“You think you can just leave? That I would let you bring more of you vermin here to make it easier for you?”
I gave the fat snake a sideways glance of contempt. “It seems you’re hard of hearing, so let me help with that.” My hands were cupped around my mouth to project my voice. “I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about!” Though that was sort of a lie. I had a little bit of an idea what they were getting at, and piecing together some context clues helped me paint a vague, but probably accurate image. Not that I would admit that to the scaly shit head that thought smashing me against a wall was a good way to say hello.
“Your feigned ignorance is wearing thin on my patience.”
Squaring off with them, I put my hands on my hips and fixed them with a stare. “Alright, fine, you want my best guess as to what is happening right now? Here goes! So, it’s a safe bet to say that you have a grudge against the Eternal Goddess and can somehow tell that I have a connection to her, right? Well, join the fucking club pal, because you ain’t the only one here that’s got a bone to pick with her. Next, you seem to have some misconception that I am one of those shithead Thrainians, so get that out of your thick empty skull because I am a human. Finally, from what context I do have about the state of this world and its history, you are one of those great wyrms that supposedly went extinct several hundred years ago, which explains why you’re so pissed at the Thrainians for their role in your people’s downfall. Did I miss anything?”
There was a moment of silence that was allowed to exist between us before the giant spoke again. “I am not a wyrm. Such an insulting name. We were once the Sevathen, the undisputed rulers of the land, the pinnacle of life.”
“And the biggest bastards in the world from what I've heard.”
They lashed their tail against the ground, causing a booming slap that made me wince at the intensity of it. “You would dare insult my pride, even now? Are you so determined to take everything from me?”
“The fact that you still even have an ego after living in this cave for so long is testament to your damn hubris, so yeah, I dare. Don’t get me wrong, genocide is never okay, but tyranny can only ever end one way and that’s violence.”
“Yet you are here, perpetrating this supposed sin.”
“For fucks sake, do you even have ears?! I didn’t come here to fight you, I didn’t even know you existed and from the bizarre reaction I got from the goddess, she didn’t know either.”
A hissing laugh split the air with its sharp tone. “It’s gratifying to know that we managed to accomplish at least one last insult to her by blinding the bitch.”
“Care to teach me? I’d like to jab a stick in her eye every now and then as well.” I let out small chuckle in an attempt to bring some levity to the situation.
For seemingly the first time in this whole conversation, the look they gave me wasn’t filled with complete disregard. “You certainly speak a lot of disrespect towards your patron.”
“Thank you for finally noticing. If you want to know why, it goes back to what I said earlier. I’m human, not Thrainian or any other race in this world. She plucked me from my own reality and dropped me into this one just so I could clean up her mess. So yeah, I'm not happy with her even if I've come to terms with it at this point. In fact, last time I saw her, I punched her in the face.”
That made them recoil slightly as they heard it. “You... you struck her? Truly?” What could only be called stunned silence persisted for a few seconds before more of that hissing laughter shattered the quiet. It wasn’t the quick kind either, it was lengthy, continuously rising a falling over the course of nearly a whole minute. I could only stand there and wait for them to calm down, which got a little awkward after the first thirty seconds.
Finally, they stopped laughing long enough to speak again. “How does one even punch a goddess? A ridiculous, but highly amusing claim.”
I doubted it was a serious question, but it did get me thinking. “That’s actually a good question that I hadn’t considered. I guess I had my soul detached from my body for an extended period, so it was my spirit that punched her? Whatever the case, I doubt it could be recreated, at least not without a near death experience.”
The big Sevathen fixed me with an eye. “I do not know if I believe all your claims, but you clearly do not hold respect for the goddess. If you are not here on her biddings, then why have you come to this place, and how did you find it?”
I could only let out a sigh. “Fine, I'll explain once more, and you better listen this time. No more blowing me off, no talking over me, and no throwing me against the wall, got it?”
They slithered around for a second, adjusting their body and uncoiling. “Very well, I'll listen.”
Now that things have seemingly calmed down, I was able to breathe and relax just a little bit. Staring up at the giant resting serpent, I considered this situation. I’m a human in a world of fantasy talking to a giant magical snake. My life was a fucking hurricane.
“Alright, first thing, can I get your name at least? I’d prefer to have something to call you other than some version of giant and or snake.”
“Yes, I would prefer not to be insulted in that way. Hmm, it’s been so long since I've last used my name. I believe they used to call me, Soro.”
“Well, my name is James. I’d say it’s a pleasure to meet you, but your first impression wasn’t exactly the best.” Honestly, what’s it with people murdering me before they actually decide to talk.
“Get on with it before I decide you're not worth the effort.”
“There’s that ego of yours again.” Soro gave me a warning hiss and in response I raised my hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright, I'll get to it. So, we’ve already established that I, and by extension the goddess, did not know you even existed. To the rest of the world, you’re all dead.” Something occurred to me just then. “That motherfucker. The warden probably knew this was going to happen and set us up.”
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“The warden? Why would they do that? They made a vow of protection to me.”
“I guess your mental health falls under that vow as well because they asked me to speak to you. Apparently, the warden feels that you have wallowed in anger and loss for too long. Even an amateur at psychology would be able to tell you that it's not healthy.”
Soro bared their fangs at me with a loud hiss. “I do not need to be coddled like a child! What do any of you know about my suffering? Centuries of forced isolation, guarding this place in a vain hope.”
“Why here though? The last champion had been dead for centuries as far as I know. You might have been able to leave and find a different home.”
“There are several reasons for that. One being that this is the warden's domain and is thus protected from outside interference. Another has to do with us blinding the goddess to my presence here. It was no small feat and took the last few years of the war to erect a powerful barrier that could defy even a deity's vision. Lastly, we hoped...” Soro trailed off, eyes becoming unfocused for a moment.
“Hoped for what?” I urged.
They turned back towards me, slit eyes staring at me with heavy amount of scrutiny oozing off of them before closing their eyes. “I suppose it doesn’t matter if I tell you or not. If you are lying and are planning to kill me, then you will find them eventually. And if not, then I have nothing to fear in the first place.”
Soro moved their body as straight as they could. “We had hoped that there was enough magic here to serve as a nest for a new generation.”
“A nest? I feel like I’m missing some context. Why was this place a candidate for a nest and not other areas?”
“Not only is it defensible, but we thought that it might have enough latent magical energy to properly incubate the eggs.”
“They need magic to hatch? That seems rather limiting.”
“It is our nature. My people were closer to the flow of magic than any other. We absorbed it into our bodies to sustain our forms, and the young are particularly ravenous for it as they grow. Without an ample supply of natural magic, they will remain in their eggs, or fall into hibernation until the flow returns.”
“I see. And I assume you lost your other nesting grounds during the war?”
“Yes, they were all found, and those damn vermin slaughtered the children and broke the eggs. It was all we could do to hide what was left of them here.”
“Shit, how many are even left?” Again, I was given a very scrutinizing look. “Stop with the looks alright! You already said it doesn’t matter and I'm trying to be sympathetic here.”
Soro let out a huff that felt more like a strong gust of wind. “Less than a hundred.” They might have been giving me a slightly off number just in case, but if it was at least close to that, then it would still be alright.
“All from different parents?”
“Most. Why does that matter?”
“Genetic diversity is needed for a healthy population of any creature. If you have around a hundred individuals from different parents, then you can probably maintain a diverse genetic profile so long as you keep a close eye on couples and their descendants to make sure that there are no immediate family members getting together. All in all, that’s good news, you’re far from extinct so long as you can find a place for those eggs to hatch.”
“You used some... strange, words that I cannot find meaning in.”
“To put it simply, you don’t want siblings having children with one another, so you want a large population to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
“Oh, naturally. Why could you not simply state as much? Must everything be so complicated with you?”
“It’s just a bit of accurate terminology, sorry if I have to dumb it down for you.”
“Your flippant disrespect is starting to irk me.”
“Your inability to have a casual conversation is as well.” I countered, only to be met with another hiss. “Look around you.” I said with a gesture to the cave. “We aren’t in some grand ball room or vaunted cathedral surrounded by the high and mighty who are too hopped up on the smell of their own shit to notice anyone other than themselves. We are in a hole in the ground, so get off your high horse and down in the dirt where you physically are. You aren’t making any friends with your current strategy.”
“I do not need nor desire your friendship.”
“Really? Because it seems like your situation here is anything but pleasant. Could do you some good to cooperate in order to get what you want.”
“Why would I cooperate with the person who did this to me!”
“Fuck the bitch, cooperate with me then.”
“Two sides of the same mountain. Anything she touches is tainted.”
“While I find it hard to argue with you there, your anger is literally the only thing holding you back right now.”
“It’s all I have!” Soro yelled while lashing the ground with their tail. “I have nothing, no one, I am alone and everyone that was once my friends or family are dead!” Their body began to glow again which made me brace under the expectation of being buried under an avalanche. Instead of a premature burial, the blockade on the exit dropped, clearing the way.
“Get out.” It was a simple growling command.
“Come on, you can’t just-”
“GET OUT!” Getting screamed at by a being multiplicatively larger than yourself is not fun, and my ears were ringing as I watched Soro slither away into the darker parts of the cave again.
That conversation didn’t exactly go smoothly, and there’s this feeling that if I pushed it, then I would just get thrown against the wall again. Whatever. I did what old moss lips asked me to do and it didn’t work. Spent too much time here anyway. If I didn’t get back to Yol’vastume on time, not only would Durdan give me an earful of complaints, but Kala would have a piece of my hide as well.
I left Soro to their sulking and exited up the tunnel. That all turned out to be a waste of time, and it wasn’t even clear what I was hoping to get out of it to begin with. A favor from the warden? Not sure what that’s even worth if I was being honest. Maybe if Soro hadn’t been buried under centuries of emotional turmoil they might have made for a good ally in this war. Then again, I doubt they would have been so willing to just leave behind the eggs that they supposedly had hidden down there. Perhaps it was all just a mixture of crushing despair and a sense of obligation that doomed them to inaction.
Whatever the case, I had to focus on getting back to my own obligations before I was missed. Wars don’t win themselves, and from what Durdan said, he had plans for me, which considering my recent unveiling as a high-profile religious icon, probably meant politics. Yay.
After being in the gloom of the cave for as long as I was, it took a minute to adjust to the light of the morning sun. After my eyes stopped stinging, I noticed the warden standing a few dozen yards away from the entrance. Seeing them reminded me of how the warden sent me in there blind to face what was unmistakably a hostile individual. It wasn’t clear how, but they could tell a piece of the goddess was inside me, and I was feeling rather irate. I did not appreciate being used like that.
The warden stomped over towards me, root feet sinking into the earth with every step. I kept walking, not even looking their way when they stopped to talk to me.
“How did it go?” The warden asked.
“Fuck off you overgrown salad you sent me in there to die.”
If the warden had a face, it might have been incredulous looking at that point. They watched me for a second as I walked by. “What is a salad?”
That stopped me in my tracks. I... I don’t even... It was my turn to be in disbelief. “You... I can’t even with you right now.”
“I appear to have upset you somehow. I apologize for this, though I am unsure of the cause.”
“Oh, fuck off, you know exactly what you did. You knew that me and Soro would be at odds, yet you said nothing in warning to me, just let me wander blindly into the dark.”
“I see. Yes, it did not occur to me that you would consider that a problem considering your current condition prevents any mortally fatal wounds from being as such for long.”
“So, you did know. How the hell were you able to tell that just by looking at me?”
“I do not view the world in the same way you do. My ‘sight’ is based on the magic all around us. I see it in every living thing, can observe how it flows and shifts around and through the environment. This makes how I perceive you all the more glaring in your differences. Even now I am watching as the magic in the air flows through you as if you weren’t even there. If it wasn’t for your unique passenger steadily pumping magic into your body, I'd probably be all but blind to your presence.”
“You can really tell all that just from the magic?”
“Yes. One can learn a lot about the world around them by observing magic. You can even learn how to direct its flow in any way you desire.”
“Is that how you made those roots move that large boulder?”
“Indeed, though my body’s affinity has a part to play in that as well.”
“How do you even begin to learn how to do that?”
“Hmm, I’ve never actually had to explain it before. I suppose my nature as a being comprised mostly of magic plays a factor, so perhaps one would need to submerge themselves in its flow to achieve the same results.”
I considered that for a moment before realizing that I had neither the time nor the patience to delve further into that rabbit hole. “Well, as fascinating as that all is, I can’t stick around to learn any more. I’m needed elsewhere because, in case you haven’t noticed, there’s a war going on.”
“Yes, I can feel its effects every now and then. It is like a wave that comes crashing through the air every time a battle happens. The chaos can be felt far beyond where it physically happens.”
“Indeed, that is why I'm leaving. Hope you understand.”
“No, I do not understand why you all find it necessary to kill each other, but it is not my place to interfere. However, what of my debt to you? Even if your attempt did not yield a pleasant result, I still promised to reward your attempt.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Okay, I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what you can offer, and I don’t have the time to figure it out. Let’s just say that when all that is figured out, I'll come and let you know.”
“If that is what you wish, then I will await your decision. May your life be long and prosperous.”
With little more than a nod in acknowledgement, I finally managed to leave this strange place. Even after everything was said and done, I was still having trouble processing it all. It felt like I was in the midst of a fever dream that lingered even after waking.
Should I even tell everyone else about all this? Would they even believe me? The answer to that was yes, they would probably believe me. The next question would be if it was more trouble than it was worth? Also, yes. Everyone was focused on the war efforts right now, so the knowledge that the great wyrms, or Sevathen, weren’t as dead as everyone believed would do nothing but distract and cause stress.
Nobody needed that right now, so this secret would be kept for the time being. Now all that was left for me was to make my way back while wondering what would be in store for me. Durdan was probably going to work me for all that I was worth, and frankly I couldn’t deny him if it meant a better chance at victory. With nothing else keeping me, I grabbed my horse and started back along the marked trail I had made, mind left to wander all the way.