Consciousness returned rather slowly, and as it did, my head felt like it was swimming in circles. My equilibrium righted itself after a minute, and I could feel that I was laying on my back. My whole body was tingling slightly, just enough to be annoying. I was tired and hated having to wake up, but a nagging thought in the back of my head goaded me into it.
With sensations slowly coming back to me, I ventured to open my eyes and find out where I was. The first thing I was greeted by was a canvas roof, billowing in a gentle wind. The muted light was easy on the eyes at least. With a groan I managed to lift my hands in front of my face.
Okay, I can still move, that’s good... wait, why was I worried about that? My head was still foggy, and my thoughts still scattered. I turned my hands around and looked at claws, seeing chips and breaks in a few places. That will take a while to grow back, but what happened to them?
I tried to recall my memories from before falling asleep. Oh, right, we were fighting. The scenes slowly caught up to me as the battles we waged in the castle rushed back. I remembered things started falling apart, lots of fire, and I was scared. Then, there was a warm hand on my shoulder and I...
My eyes widened and suddenly I was lucid. “James!” I shouted, sitting up in an explosive burst of movement. I quickly came to regret that as my vision blackened for a second and I had to prop myself up with a hand to prevent myself from falling back onto the cot.
It took a moment for me to not feel like I was about to pass out just from sitting up. It didn't help that my heart was racing, threatening to launch itself from my chest as I struggled to breathe from my panic. I couldn’t afford to sit here, though. James, where are you? What did you do?
“Kala? You’re awake.”
I blinked and turned toward the voice that addressed me. Velshi was moving briskly to my side, kneeling by the cot as she began to examine me. My mind was still reeling from worry, but a familiar face helped me to gather enough of my wits to speak.
“Velshi, what happened?”
She held my head steady for a moment as she looked me in the eyes, still in the process of doing her duty as healer. “I don’t know the specifics, but Otar brought you into the tent unconscious. You’ve been asleep for a few hours.”
Hours? Hours! My panic returned in full force. “Wh- where is James?”
The look on her face changed, and she dropped her gaze as she shook her head. “I don’t know.”
Worry became frustration became anger. “What do you mean you don’t know!? Point me to someone who does then!”
“Kala, please calm down, you’re still-”
“No! I will not until someone tells me where he is!”
Velshi sat there with her mouth half open like the words she was searching for had escaped her. “Kala, I...” She swallowed before letting out an exhausted sigh. “I had hoped to have this conversation later, but... nobody, knows where he is.”
I thought that my heart had stopped in my chest as my face clearly showed my distress. It felt like I couldn’t get enough air as I repeatedly took gasping breaths. My eyes darted around in rapid thought before solidifying in one single driving command. I have to find him.
Standing, I found that I was unsteady on my feet even as my tail swung side to side, trying to balance myself. Before I could even take two steps, Velshi grabbed me by the shoulder in a firm grip.
“Kala, you shouldn’t-”
I turned on her with a roar, bared teeth and all in feral display that frankly shocked me just as much as her. Her grip slackened, and I broke away from her, making for the exit with wobbling steps that got a bit firmer the more I moved. Velshi looked between me and the rest of her patients, weighing her responsibilities. In the end she was forced to let me leave as she had people with injuries that needed her attention. Velshi didn’t deserve that, but I was not in the right state of mind for coddling feelings right now.
Brushing the flap of the tent aside, I stepped out into the bone chilling air and was greeted with devastation. Where buildings once stood there was now only rubble as many streets saw their very foundations torn asunder. Cracks in the earth had opened, deep enough that some had consumed whole houses and still had room to spare. Looking around, I could see that only about one of every five buildings had managed to remain standing.
Soldiers were picking through the wreckage, trying to find any survivors. What surprised me most, though, was that it wasn’t just those from the coalition. There were several Thrainain soldier assisting, and even though they had been stripped of their weapons, they were allowed free reign to deal with aftermath of this tragedy. All of this was so overwhelming that it had halted me in place for a minute, but then I remembered James, and I continued toward the last place I saw him, the castle.
Before I could start, another voice waylaid me, though this one was more welcome. “Kala!? Oh, thank the gods, you’re awake.”
That was mom’s voice, and I couldn’t help but feel relieved when hearing it. She looked alright, maybe a little dirty under her cloak, but not injured in any way. “Mom, what are you doing here?”
“Trying to keep an eye on you, obviously,” she stated in no uncertain terms. “Velshi wouldn’t let me stay inside because I would be in her way, so I settled with waiting out here. What are you doing up right now, and where is your cloak? You’re going to freeze out here without it.”
“I don’t have time to worry about that! I need to find James.”
Her expression dropped much the same way Velshi’s did. It was a mixture of sadness and perhaps pity. “Oh, my little river glider, nobody knows whe-”
“I KNOW!” I shrieked, tired of hearing that already. “I know. That’s why I'm going to find him.”
The piteous look she gave me only increased, which annoyed me despite me knowing it came from a place of love. Eventually, Mom just sighed in a resolved manner.
“Okay, I understand. I won’t try and stop you, but I will be coming with you, just in case you need me.”
I calmed myself as much as possible, not wanting to turn on my mother the same way I did with Velshi. If she wanted to come with me, that was fine. I... I didn’t know if I could handle this by myself.
There were many obstacles in my way. Buildings that had fallen into the roads, large ravines that had split the streets and made certain paths inaccessible. We were forced to take winding routes through the city, witnessing the full extent of the destruction that had ravaged it.
Many of the families that survived the aftermath were now without homes, and of those there was a large portion that were mourning the loss of a loved one. Despite everything, I couldn’t help but feel some pity for them. Even though they kept my people as slaves, treated them, and me, like dirt, to see this suffering brought me no joy. To think that this could have been what the coalition might have done if... if James hadn’t made a plea for us to be better.
Thinking about him again made me pick up the pace. It may have been cold but moving helped keep me warm. My mom and I managed to find a street that wasn’t destroyed and provided a path to the castle. I felt an unseen pressure pressing down on me the closer we got as every bad feeling seemed to double with every step.
Retracing the steps I took the first time; I led my mother into the bowels of this cursed place. I hadn’t even realized it until we entered the twisting halls, but my breathing was becoming more erratic as time went on, and my stride almost increased to a jog. Perhaps I would have taken off in a run if it wasn’t for mom grabbing hold of my hand.
She held on to me in a firm, but comforting manner. It wasn’t designed to stop me, just to show that I had someone with me that I could rely on. Her presence certainly helped keep me grounded, but even so, my limit of rational thought was reaching its end the closer we got to the throne room.
As we rounded the last corner, I froze as I saw the doors that had once stood at the entrance had been blown clean off their hinges. Bits of wood were splintered off the frame and even the metal bands were warped by what seemed like a great deal of force. I couldn’t help myself, I sprinted ahead.
Standing in the entrance to the throne room, I felt like I was staring at a foreign land. Nothing was like how I remembered it to be. For one thing, the pillars that used to flank either side of the room were all but gone. There was only the slightest bit of evidence that they had existed as the base of each one was all that remained. The rich blue carpet that led down the center was now burned to nothing or charred black. Where once there were large windows, now there were open holes, with even the dividing sections of the wall having collapsed. The throne Alathos once sat on no longer existed, reduced to scattered fragments too small to even accurately identify.
All of this, despite its desolation, was of no concern to me. The only thing that caught my attention was right behind the throne next to the remnants of the shattered crystal. It was a scorched spot, but not the same black charr like was on the rest of the floor. It looked like fire had radiated outward from a single point, creating a many pointed star pattern on the ground. What was more disturbing, though, was that this spot had discoloration that wasn’t consistent with the normal blackened stone, but instead held a faded, deep crimson. It was blood.
I swore I could hear my pulse thundering inside my skull. Wha... what happened here? Where is he? My head was feeling light, the room was starting to spin. I looked all around the room but there was nothing, nothing but the blood.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
He’s not here! Where is he? What happened? Why isn’t he here!? There should be some sign! Anything! I’m missing something. What am I missing!? Why can’t I see it!?
My rampaging thoughts were interrupted when my mom grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking me slightly. “Kala, breathe.”
Her words made me realize that I had not been doing so for a while now, and my lungs were crying out for air. I took a deep and shuddering breath as my body trembled. Mom did what she could to provide comfort, rubbing her hands across my back and nuzzling against me.
It calmed me down enough for me to think clearly for a few seconds. My hope was a flickering flame, but it was still there. I couldn’t fall to despair just yet.
“M-maybe he just got pushed into another room, or out the window. Whatever destroyed this room had a lot of force behind it. We should check the garden, maybe a few nearby places too.”
Mom opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but apparently, she thought better of it before reevaluating her words. “Okay, we can look around some. Where do you want to go first?”
That was a good question. For now, I thought to check the hallway for any sign of James. There wasn’t as much rubble in the halls as there was in the throne room, but the damage from that spell Alathos had used still affected various parts of the castle. There were a lot of cracks in the stone, broken windows, fallen lamps and chandeliers. However, despite searching in every corner, underneath any sufficiently large piece of furniture, or even rooms that were outside of a reasonable search area, there was no sign of James.
The flame wavered. No, don’t panic, we still have the garden to search. It was a poor comfort, yet I clung to it like the only bit of rope left over a bottomless chasm.
I did my best not to rush or run as we traced a path to the garden area at the back of the castle. It was certainly large with a variety of beautiful and fantastic flowers or plants, many of which I had never seen before. Despite it tickling my curiosity, it was so low on my priority list at this time that it hardly registered as a notable sight.
Looking up, I could see the blown-out windows and partially collapsed wall of the throne room above us. This was the right spot, so if James got knocked out of the room, he would be around here somewhere. The search began with me trailing along the side of the walls while mom went and checked behind nearby bushes.
Bits and chunks of wall were scattered around, some having crushed a few flower beds. A slight glint caught my eye, and digging through the dirt, I found a small shard of metal with burned golden adornments. It easily fit in my hand, but I couldn’t easily identify what it used to be. Whatever this may have been a part of was thoroughly destroyed. I dropped it in the dirt as there was no use for me carrying it.
We must have spent an hour out there, digging through bushes, behind trees, and into flower beds. I knew deep down that this was an act of desperation, but I didn’t want to admit it, I couldn’t. I kept searching, even if it was in places that I had already been.
There’s nothing. Why is there nothing!? I was angry, frustrated, and worst of all, crushed. That flame of hope that I had been sheltering in my heart was starting to feel more like a candle in a storm.
My vision was starting to get blurry, and I didn’t realize why until mom walked up to me and placed a gentle hand on the side of my face. I started crying. My breath came in short and rapid gasps as I slowly felt what little self-control I had slipping away. When I tried to talk, the words were disjointed and interrupted by my sobbing.
“Wh-why isn’t h-he here? He’s su-supposed to be h-here.”
The look on mom’s face was that of pure empathy as she brought me close in a hug. “My little river glider. I’m sure we’ll find something. Just give it a little time.”
I held onto her, desperate for any amount of comfort right now. We stayed in that small huddle for a few minutes. Just as I was starting to recover, a voice from above us called out.
“Kala? Is that you?”
I blinked, looking around for the source until my eyes fell upon a familiar face gazing down on us from the broken window of the throne room. “Hargon? What are you doing up there?”
“Looking for you, obviously. We came back to the medical tents to check on you and Velshi said you stormed off after waking up. It was easy to figure out where you were heading, but why are you in the garden?”
“I’m...” it felt like a bundle of rocks in my chest just to talk about it anymore. “I’m trying to find James, or at least some sign of where he went.”
I had always found it somewhat difficult to read Droln expressions due to all the fur, but even at this distance, I could see how his eyes went through a variety of different emotions. “We... we’ll, it’s not certain, but we may have an idea of what happened.”
It felt like my heart did a leap as a bit of hope was returned to me. “What!? Tell me then!”
He rubbed the back of his head. “Perhaps it would be better if we talked up here, so we aren’t shouting at one another.”
This was a somewhat awkward conversation distance that required us to almost yell at one another to be heard clearly. “Okay, I’ll be up in just a minute.”
I took off in a run despite the protests of my mom who was struggling to keep up. I just couldn’t hold back anymore as I rushed to find out what happened to James and where he may be. Tearing through the castle, it was a short time before I arrived at the throne room. My emotions had been rising and falling in such rapid changes that the run had left me winded.
Upon arriving, I saw that all my friends were there, each of them looking at me expectingly, and with a hint of sorrow. I ignored their looks for the most part as I was more interested in hearing what they knew. “Wha-what happened to James? Do you know where he is?” I asked, slightly out of breath.
They started to look more despondent, and Otar, in particular, avoided my gaze. It started to feel like something was constricting my chest as I got the feeling that nobody wanted to be the one to tell me. Eventually, Hargon stepped forward with a sigh.
“Like I said before, it’s not a certainty, but I’ll tell you everything that we know. James faced Alathos alone, there was nobody else who could do so with the power that was being used against us. I thought he was just going to use himself as a temporary distraction to allow us to slip away, but after Alathos hit him with a fire spell, he was still standing, and healing rapidly. It looked like the same power he used back in Yol’vastume. He said that he couldn’t use it again, and yet he did. If the reason why he couldn’t use it wasn’t because it was now unavailable, then there must be... some other reason why he couldn’t use it.”
As he said that last part, he turned and look toward the scorch mark next to the remnants of the large crystal. The implications only took a moment to sink in.
No... No no no no.
I ran to the other side of the room. They all looked like they wanted to stop me, or at least slow me down, but their hesitation to do so allowed me to slip by. The scar on the ground, something that I had taken as a mere hint, was in truth, the answer. This scorch mark, this bloody stain, was all that was left.
My mind went blank. I didn’t know what to think, or what to do. This last little fragment seemed all too fragile, like a strong gust would blow it away and then there would be nothing left of it, of James. I wanted to build a wall around it, cover it up and not let it out of my sight for even a moment. Very few of those things I could realistically do, so I stuck with what I could.
Backing up toward a nearby wall, I sat down in a position where I would have a clear view of the entire room. Everyone else slowly walked over, various levels of confusion written on their faces.
“Uhh, Kala, what are you doing?” Velian asked.
“Waiting.”
They exchanged looks. “For?” Ulthises prompted.
“James, obviously.”
Now they looked like they pitied me, and I felt annoyed at them. Jorn kneeled to speak to me. “Kala, we all want James to come back, but this-”
“He’ll be back,” I said in no uncertain terms. “You’ve seen the kind of injuries he recovered from. He’s said that he can’t die. The goddess herself is protecting him! He’ll, be, back.”
Jorn opened his mouth, but Otar placed a hand on his shoulder. The brothers exchanged a glance and Otar shook his head, leading Jorn to sigh in defeat as he stood once more.
“Alright,” Jorn eventually conceded. “We’ll bring you a blanket at the very least. Don’t need you freezing in here.”
I nodded thankfully to them as it was quite frigid in here and I already felt myself becoming lethargic now that I had stopped moving. With my course set in stone, the rest of them slowly filed out of the room. Everyone, except my mom, who lingered behind and looked at me with worry.
She approached me slowly. I expected her to say something to try and convince me to leave, but she spoke not a word as she unclasped her cloak and draped it over my shoulders. That was a surprise, and when I looked at her, she just smiled and nuzzled me. I felt the tears threaten to fall once again as I returned her love. She left a minute later, leaving me to conduct my vigil alone.
I was practically rooted to the spot, eyes hardly ever leaving the stain on the floor. Hargon did make another appearance, bringing me a blanket, a bedroll, and some food. I was thankful for the consideration as I had no intention of moving for the immediate future. My watch continued well into the night until exhaustion finally caught up with me, forcing me to sleep.
The next morning, I slowly awoke, fighting against my own fatigue until I remembered where I was and what I was waiting on. My eyes snapped open, looking around expectingly and only finding disappointment as nothing changed and there was no sign of James. I sighed and pulled the blanket closer around me, settling in for more waiting.
I was hungry, but I didn’t want to leave just in case something happened. No amount of arguing fallacies could have convinced me that something wouldn’t happen if I left. Thankfully mom was kind enough to bring me something just a short while after I woke up. She wasn’t acting the way I expected she would either. What I expected was that she would try to convince me to abandon my current action, denouncing it as foolish. Instead, she simply sat, ate with me, and kept me informed of what was happening outside of the castle.
The death toll kept climbing by the hour as more bodies were discovered in the wreckage of the city. Negotiations regarding the official surrender of the Thrainians were postponed for a few days until the situation stabilized. There was just too much going on for anybody to spend time drawing up terms of surrender.
Things continued in this manner throughout the day. Not much changed, other than who visited me as my friend group seemed to alternate who showed up. They were doing a lot of work moving rubble and trying to set up temporary shelters for the displaced population so they could survive the winter. People were already suffering from exposure, and sickness would soon follow if nothing was done. It will take months, maybe even years before all the damage is erased.
While it may seem bleak, the end of the war was an opportunity for the world to improve. Relationships could be rebuilt with time, and old grudges can begin to fade. All that was missing was the person who made it all possible.
I remained practically rooted in place day in and day out, standing sentinel over this one spot. My presence did not go unnoticed by many of the soldiers who frequented the castle and saw me in passing. I had a feeling that I had become something of an oddity.
My spirit was starting to wane, though. After three days of non-stop vigilance, nothing had changed. I think my mom could see that, because when she looked at me, it was with the sad eyes of one who could feel the pain of the person they were looking at. I do not know how mom managed to cope with the loss of dad after we were separated for over a year. Perhaps she still hasn’t.
It all came to a head on the morning of the fourth day. Even though I had awoken, I refused to open my eyes. Not due to laziness or my general apathy towards mornings, but because I feared what I would see, or more accurately, what I wouldn’t. There was no avoiding it, though, and my eyes slowly opened.
Just the stain, unchanged except for losing whatever bit of red hue it still had left. The wavering candle in my heart that had been fighting so desperately for life, was snuffed out by the blizzard of reality. I was despondent, feeling like a lifeless husk with no purpose.
Mother came into the room later, carrying the morning meal with her. She ate and talked like normal while I picked at the food idly. Perhaps she simply thought that this was just a brief bought of depression that had taken over me, or maybe she knew everything and wished to try and distract my mind. It didn’t work, and I stared constantly at the stain on the ground until, at last, mom collected the wooden plates and made to leave.
Before she got too far, I reached out and grabbed hold of her hand. She seemed surprised, but then shocked as she looked at me. My eyes were starting to blur even as I stood up. The tears came slowly; I didn’t have the energy to bawl or weep.
Mom did the only thing that she could and comforted me with a hug. We left the room, her guiding me every step of the way as I was blinded by tears. Reality was a cruel and torturous thing, but I could ignore it no longer.
James was gone.