The sky was a crystalline sapphire, the sun shining through the leaves that became denser every day. It wasn't too hot though, as if the heat was being softened by the chill of morning that still lingered amidst the greenery.

I listened to the sound of bird calls, watching a golden patch of light on the grass next to my knee. I found a secluded part of the forest behind the mansion's gardens, far enough for no one to care about grooming the plants anymore. The time of the most exuberant blooming was approaching, and there was one kind of shrub that outnumbered all others, one I've never seen before. Most of the bushes were quite squat, but there were also some enormous ones, with thick, dark leaves that looked like they stayed on the twigs during winter because their color was much deeper than the fresh, young leaves on the other plants. The most wonderful thing about them were the flowers though, growing in beautiful corymbs. They formed a labyrinth of blood-red, honey, snow-white, purple and pale-blue clusters, that emitted an intoxicating, sweet scent. It all seemed so untouched, as if it was meant for people like me to hide themselves in the tranquility...

I closed my eyes, sighing softly. I still wasn't exactly sure what happened yesterday... I woke up in bed, alone, like any other normal day. At first I thought I was dreaming all of that, because there wasn't even the slightest remainder of warmth on the bed sheets where Siaril sat yesterday... But when he didn't appear for breakfast and Yasenka, who went to fetch him from his room returned with concern on her face, it became clear to me that it happened for real. Even so, I lied to her that he said something about an early morning flight the day before, and we ate alone. I was too ashamed to admit that his disappearance was solely my fault.

I went to look for him on my own, but wasn't very successful. During the search, I was becoming more and more painfully aware of how much I relied on Siaril, on his calm, kind presence that kept me steady among all the changes. But now, I wouldn't be surprised if he never came back...

A small nightingale, sitting on a low-hanging twig nearby, fell silent for a moment and tilted its head, as if asking for advice on further melody. I sighed. I needed one myself... Eventually, I stood up from the spot where I took the short rest. I decided to take a look around from above to get a better insight of where I've already been and where I to look next.

I climbed several branches of the nearest oak tree, and when the twigs thinned out enough for me to attempt a safe start, I jumped into the sky. I ascended enough to see the forest, the mansion's premise and the lake clearly before glancing around. I've searched the shore and its coves all the way to the north already, then the gardens and a fragment of the forest to the east. It was time for the west then... I turned to face it and sighed. It was so vast... and he could even be nowhere nearby by now...

I raised my eyebrows a little. A bit to the south-west, I noticed a spot of paler green, big and spread between the other trees like an irregular stain. I beat my wings a few times to take a closer look. It was a willow... an enormous willow, towering over the nearby forest like the mother of all life around. It seemed that the fragile twigs were embracing some vast clearing like green, living curtains, but it was hard to tell exactly from above. I spotted a convenient branch on a tree right next to it and settled down carefully.

I gently pulled the twigs of the willow apart and peeked underneath it. There was indeed an enormous space, a clearing situated on a small, gently sloped hill. There was a carpet of soft, emerald moss as far as the eye could see. Its composition was disturbed only by occasional rocks and the roots of the tree, peeking out of the ground here and there.

I carefully jumped in and landed on it soundlessly. Other, smaller trees and shrubs were peeping through the willow's curtains into this arbor made of spring leaves. Some of them dropped tiny petals into the clearing, as if wanting them to complete their lives in the serenity underneath the gigantic tree. There was a tiny pond at the opposite end of the clearing, the almost unnoticeable waves from what might have been a small spring hidden on the other side of the curtain pulling gently on the willow's twigs. Some of the roots were reaching out to it like tributaries meandering among the moss.

I walked across the clearing, delighting in the silence and liberty this place seemed to emit... and then stopped abruptly upon sensing something. Although that wasn't quite the correct word. I felt almost nothing... but there was a familiar feel to the apparent emptiness, a warm flicker of a soul in the air trapped beneath the willow.

I cautiously circled the trunk, and after a few steps something as black as a starless night caught my eye.

I wasn't sure if I was more relieved or more scared.

There he was, sitting on the moss close to the tree, his eyes fixed absently on the green of the rustling leaves above. Somehow, his soul didn't seem to be entirely present... and I suddenly felt the urge to use that opportunity. It was enough for me that he was still near, that he was alright, I didn't need to be by his side... in fact... I felt like I didn't have the right to...

I was about to back away when Siaril blinked once and raised his eyebrows slightly, returning to reality upon sensing my presence. The blood in my veins almost froze solid when he turned his head to look at me.

Moments passed. It could have even been a few minutes, I had no idea. And then he... smiled...

Siaril smiled.

There was so much pain behind it that it almost broke my heart, but the smile itself...

... it was real...

I let out a feeble breath, my knees almost giving up on me. When he shifted slightly, making an almost unnoticeable movement with his head and hand, I just stopped thinking. I went over and sat down on the green softness, not quite facing him, giving myself space to look away. There was silence again, and I almost felt him analyzing my presence, as if he was doing it for the first time in his life.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered finally, unable to bear staying quiet anymore.

"Don't be," his voice was the same as ever, but different at the same time. And even though I couldn't grasp the meaning of his tone, something in it started to steadily calm me down.

I summoned my courage and looked him in the eyes. I could swear I was seeing them for the first time... There was no more coldness, no more indifference. There was warmth and concern, the ice on the surface melted completely, allowing the water of the lake to bloom at last. And, most importantly, I could see the person behind them, the person he really was all this time...

"I should be the one apologizing," he continued softly. "I've caused you so much grief... and just because I was so stubborn and didn't want to admit that you were right... Maybe that's not the right way to put it though... I was too afraid to admit that you were right. But, you know, when we soared through the air together for the first time, some strange feeling overcame me... I saw your beaming face, your sparkling eyes, and suddenly started to wonder... did I really miss so much magic?" his eyes wandered up again. "Did I really drown myself in my own sadness and helpless anger so much that I missed so many wonders...? Was I really lying to myself to the point where I actually started to believe that the emptiness Sitriel's death left behind was the only thing left to me in this world...?"

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I hesitantly reached out and covered one of his hands with my own, trying to tell him that it wasn't, that he had much, much more... unfortunately, the words didn't manage to get through my throat. But he didn't need them to understand.

A tiny smile found its way to his lips, like a faint ray of sunlight breaking through rain clouds. "You know, at first, I was angry at you yesterday..." he admitted. When I hung my head, he quickly continued: "No, not like that. I was angry because you forced me to see the truth that I kept pretending not to see. You were right by saying that Sitriel's murderer beat me. To be honest, I gave up even before any fight took place. I allowed it to change me, and didn't even resist. I was too weak... thinking that I lost my only support... and became too blind to see when another appeared. But you made me notice the bruises I was giving myself by bonking my head against my own stupidity with simple words..." He paused briefly, as if some thought just surfaced in his mind, and he was searching for the right words to express it. "It's curious, isn't it... death changed me... and then friendship did the same..."

I suddenly felt my voice returning to me. "But unlike death, friendship isn't something that can be forced..."

"... you need to reach back in order for it to affect you," he finished for me. I looked him in the eyes, and for some reason I found a glimmer of amusement in them as he raised his eyebrows slightly. Before I knew it, I was grinning at him, and he returned it. My heart felt as light as a feather all of a sudden.

"There is one more thing I have to apologize for, Sigrian..."

"What?"

"For saying that it was my duty to save you..."

"Ah..."

"Well, it was of course, in a way, but first and foremost... it was my desire. A wish coming from deep inside my heart, even if I was too dumb to identify it for what it was. I can't imagine a world without your light anymore..."

I felt the final wave of relief as those words sparked a memory in my mind. I closed my eyes, fighting tears. I did it... I thought in disbelief. I did it, Yasenka... Suddenly there was a warm hand wiping the stinging wetness from my cheek. I looked up to witness another tender smile, gracing the world like the sun that seems to be shining brighter after the rain has passed, because it has been waiting so long to reveal itself...

"Please don't... I'm not worth your tears..."

"You are, you idiot... you're worth all of them, especially these... when they fall in happiness..."

"I'm glad too... I..." his voice suddenly cracked.

I smiled understandingly. It was only natural that after all this time of stifling his emotions, that bit of crying yesterday wasn't nearly enough. I embraced him gently, allowing him to bury his face in my shoulder and circled my wings around his back. He deserved this... he deserved all the kindness in this world...

"I want to stay by your side..." I heard his trembling, muffled voice after a few sobs. "I want to protect you in every single fight that is to come and I want to see its end with you..."

"I'll do everything in my power to make sure you will..." I whispered.

I was certain we both would. The fact that I felt like I just found a long lost brother had to have a meaning...

~

Yasenka had an earful prepared for poor Siaril for not telling us where he went, and for the fact that some of her work with Light in the kitchen went to waste. But when he apologized, giving her the sweetest smile we've ever seen from him, she went speechless for long enough for Siaril to consider the topic finished and offer help with bringing lunch to the dining room. During the meal, I pretended to be very interested in the animal motifs on the silver cutlery, avoiding Yasenka's curious glances. I could almost physically feel her holding back the questions about what had happened between the two of us.

Which was why I felt a bit bad about what we did next instead of enlightening her, but my heart couldn't hold back. Siaril asked me if I was in the mood for practicing swordplay a little, and there was no way I would refuse. We invited Light as well and went to the clearing between the mansion and the forest at the east side. When they both started to teach me their own little tricks, it felt fundamentally different from the time Siaril first showed us his precious sword. His silent and calm nature stayed untouched, but he was far more lively when he actually did speak up, not holding back with anything that sparked in his mind and picking up on any little joke I made in the process.

After practicing some raw movements, we wanted to try sparring, but were caught by the sunset. Siaril and Light excused themselves to talk about something, so I retreated to my room.

Yasenka appeared in it merely a few minutes later.

"You're unbelievable, Sig..." she said, silently closing the door behind her. "How did you manage to do that so quickly?"

"We shouldn't take the improbable for impossible," I gave her an innocent look. "Isn't that what you tried to teach me just recently?"

"Kind of? What, are you going to be all secretive about it?"

"I don't know, depends on how you'll ask me."

She sighed in pretend surrender and sat down on the edge of my bed. "I'm helping you to come up with a strategy against this stubborn winged kinsman of a mule and this is how you thank me?"

"Well, take into account that you're talking to one of his kin right now."

"Right, why be straightforward when you can have it complicated... I'll knock it out of your head," she suddenly snatched one of the pillows from the neat pile at the head of my bed and smacked me with it straight in the face. I think she didn't consider that I would pick the game up as quickly as I did though.

When I was already on my third pillow, the previous two lost somewhere underneath the table in the corner of the room, the door opened suddenly and Siaril appeared in the doorway. A split second later Yasenka's pillow flew right above his head and landed in the anteroom. He froze for a moment, then glanced over his shoulder, utterly confused. When he turned to us again, his eyebrows went even higher. No one could blame him. There I was, sprawled on my back at the foot of my bed, my neck craned to be able to look at him, with an out of breath illathan propped with her hands on the messed up bed sheets at my sides, the ends of her goldish-brown hair almost tickling my neck.

"What... are you doing?" he managed finally.

"Why do you ask?"

"I think anyone would be interested in why you suddenly decided to demolish your room... and with the help of a beautiful woman no less," at this point he had to dodge quickly when I snatched a pillow lying near Yasenka's knee and sent it his way with a clumsy flick of my wrist. "You're asking for it."

"Well, maybe I want to?" my innocent grin must have looked ridiculous, given the position I was in. It's been ages since I felt so lighthearted...

Siaril picked the pillow up and looked Yasenka in the eyes briefly before throwing it. She dodged quickly enough to not become the target, and slowly enough to not give me time to move out of the way.

"That's not fair..." I grumbled, shoving the pillow away from my face.

"Didn't you just say that this is what you want?"

"You little..." I squeezed the fabric firmly, got up to my knees and hurled it back at him with everything I had.

Siaril's surprised yelp lured Sivath, who was resting by the door to the bridge, into my room as well, and the dog joined the fight, or rather got interested in chasing the occasional falling feathers, barking at us playfully.

It took around a quarter of an hour to use up all of our energy, with me collapsing first, still being a bit sore from my recent lake adventure. A few minutes passed in silence, before Siaril broke it, stopping the lazy stroking of Sivath's well-groomed fur. "Thank you..." he breathed quietly.

"For what, making your hair look like Sig's does every morning?" I heard Yasenka's exhausted reply from somewhere in the head of the bed, but didn't even summon my strength to glance over.

Siaril laughed silently and started setting his midnight bangs in order. "No. For not writing me off like I did..."

"We couldn't just leave you be..." I managed between my breaths. "But if you pull something like that off again, I'm going to use something heavier than a pillow next time..."

I felt Yasenka shift on the bed sheets slightly, her voice becoming more serious when she spoke again: "If you lose something, you can always find it again. But if you purposely cast something away, you might never be able to recover it..."

Siaril looked at her for a moment, then smiled gently and bowed his head, accepting the warm reprimand. He then sighed contently and leaned his head on my stomach. I closed my eyes, mimicking him with my own, satisfied sigh and repositioned myself to be more comfortable.

Maybe the chasms that I imagined between us at the beginning were never truly there to begin with...