A hot bath, a delicious meal prepared by Light, a fresh dressing lovingly wrapped around my wing by Yasenka and my comfortable bed that I've missed so much...

... and yet, I couldn't fall asleep.

Lying on my side, I studied the symbols carved into the arch above the window, the sky outside getting darker and darker. I knew them well by now, but looked at them in a completely different way after today... Now I knew they served as anchoring points for powerful spells that kept us safe from the very first day we arrived at this mansion. It was funny that it never even crossed my mind before...

I shifted my gaze slightly below, to the subtle, dark lines of the last swallows flashing outside the window, bidding farewell to the dim glow of the vanishing day. The sting of guilt still remained in my chest... along with a faint echo of fear. Siaril was always the calm and collected one, always keeping to himself, never speaking of anything that concerned his family... Light was the cheerful spirit, strong, supportive, wise despite his silliness... It didn't surprise me that I was the one to lose temper, but I didn't imagine I could make both of those façades crumble into nothing while I was distracted by my own fury... It scared me in a way... and made me realize what an idiot I must have been to even make it go that far.

I stood up, crossed the room and leaned on the windowsill to take a deep breath of the fresh, evening air. Gentle, soft darkness was shrouding the landscape, the moon just appearing low above the tops of the pines. I glanced down.

Armailith was lying comfortably on the biggest (small for her) open space between the residence and the tree line, her front legs crossed on the sand just by the edge of the water which didn't speak with even the most silent of splashes tonight. She was busy observing the picturesque surroundings hiding their beauty under the cloak of dusk, as if she could see the stripes of coniferous and mixed woods guarding the clear waters and occasional tufts of reed despite the darkness. From above, she looked like a huge pile of gold. I smiled. Help that came unexpected really was a double blessing...

Armailith must have sensed my stare, because she turned her enormous head towards me. She didn't even have to stretch her neck, on the contrary, she had to bend it a little so her snout could level with my window. It was still kind of mind-blowing how huge she actually was.

"Why aren't you sleeping yet?" she asked softly.

"Can't fall asleep..."

"Strange, you seem tired," she paused for a second, examining me with those piercing eyes. "Is something troubling you?"

"Nothing important, don't worry," I smiled reassuringly.

"Still, something is weighting your heart down..." the dragoness lifted one of her wings so that its surface reached the level of the windowsill. To my questioning look, she added: "If you can't sleep anyway, maybe you'd like to keep me company?"

Without deliberating much, I climbed up and, hugging my wings tightly to my body, squeezed through, out into the forest-scented night. It would have been easier if the windows didn't have the supports in the middle, but the fact that I managed regardless meant there was at least one bright side to not being of the greatest posture for my age. I kneeled on the wing's surface to keep my balance and Armailith carefully drew it back to her body.

"I wouldn't mind listening to whatever thoughts are not letting you sleep," she tried again.

I slid down her smooth scales and sat on the grass, leaning my back against her pleasantly warm stomach. The faint, sour scent of mycelium came from between the trees, probably portending bad weather. For now though, the forest was silent, immersed in a solidary sleep with the lake...

"I just... feel like a fool for how I treated Siaril and Light..." I finally admitted.

"I'm sure they do not blame you."

"Probably, but I blame myself..." I pulled out one of the blades of grass next to my thigh. "This whole argument was unnecessary..."

"Sometimes, you need to cross a boundary to remember where it lies," Armailith yawned shortly, showing the impressive, white fangs. "But you could have at least let others sleep peacefully at night."

A sudden wave of uneasiness hit me. So she wasn't sleeping that night after all...

"Is this adorable blush supposed to mean 'yes, you're right'?"

I looked away, pretending to fix the unruly bangs that were getting into my eyes.

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about, Sigrian. You are both young and everyone is bound to make mistakes at the beginning of their path. But you are aware how ephemeral a footprint on the sand is... Human life is short, even if supported by the vitality of dragons. Sometimes, the other can vanish before you get the chance to apologize... Which is why it is best to solve misunderstandings as quickly as possible, and not drown in presumptions."

A tiny sigh escaped me. What else was there to add...?

"Though, if you regret it that much," I felt Armailith's stare leave me, wandering somewhere else, "then maybe just tell him that you do?"

I looked at her, then let my eyes follow her gaze.

The balcony door next to my window was slightly ajar, the hazy glow of a candle's flame illuminating the edges of the dark curtains. Was Siaril still awake too? I glanced at Armailith again. Maybe she was right... maybe all we needed was a talk... A silent call of an owl came from somewhere in the resin-scented darkness, agreeing with my thoughts.

"Can you help me?" I finally asked.

Without the need to explain, the dragoness offered the tip of her tail for me to climb onto. When I grabbed one of the spikes, she carefully lifted me to the balcony. I leaned forward a little and peeked into the room through a gap in the curtains.

Siaril was sitting on the bed, a book on his lap, but he didn't seem to pay it much attention. His dimmed stare was fixed on the ceiling, his back against a big pillow, his mind seeming far away. I watched him for a few moments, debating whether or not I really should disturb him, when he suddenly closed his eyes and a delicate, warm smile appeared on his lips.

"Since you're already here, why don't you just come in?" he said out of the blue. "I wouldn't want you to accidentally fall and break something else."

I almost lost my balance, but grabbed the balcony railing with my free hand just in time. Shoving away the short wave of panic, I hesitantly looked to Armailith. The dragoness just nodded, her eyes sparkling in silent laughter. "No need to run away if no one is chasing you, my boy," she quietly gave me one last push.

All that was left for me to do was to shake my head with a smile and jump from her tail to the balcony.

I drew one of the navy-blue curtains back a little, still torn between the desire to enter and the urge to flee back outside. "Sorry if I disturbed you..."

"It's alright, I wasn't able to concentrate anyway."

"How did you know I was there?"

In response, Siaril took the leather band of his sirath between two fingers and jiggled it gently. I frowned, reaching to my own stone... and my fingers met two extra ones, all three answering my touch with a quiet chime. I completely forgot that I still had Yasenka's sirath on my neck. I've gotten used to the sounds it was making by now.

I couldn't help but laugh a little. "I see, my mistake."

Siaril smiled. "I thought you were long asleep... what were you doing out there?"

"Talking to Armailith..." I perched at the feet of the bed. "I couldn't sleep." Siaril just kept looking at me almost interrogatively, clearly sensing that there was something I wanted to tell him. I had to avert my gaze. "I... I wanted to apologize for my behavior the last few days..."

"You have nothing to apologize for. It was my own fault."

"It wasn't, I..." my voice got caught in my throat. I didn't exactly know how to deny that. It was partially true.

A gentle smile rippled the clear, expressive depths of Siaril's eyes. "I know you feel guilty and don't want to blame me, but that's the truth, you see it yourself."

"But I contributed to it. I should've asked, given it more thought..."

"You know, by being around all of you, Light included, I learned that someone of a devoted heart often has a restive tongue to accompany it." The amused sparks in Siaril's eyes finally summoned a smile to my lips. "Let's just forget about it. The situation is almost constantly tense, and any incautiously said word can cause a foolish argument."

"Yeah... so much has happened so quickly..."

"I didn't believe for even a second that you started all of this on purpose," Siaril closed his book and put it aside. "Neither did I blame you for it. You seemed exhausted and a little jittery from the ansirths' attack, meeting Armailith and what you learned from her... As soon as it became clear what Ertralia knew, I realized that it would cross the limit of your endurance. I wasn't sure about Light's endurance though. But it seems we were both pretty bad at this whole farce anyway..."

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I didn't answer. All this time, he was only worrying about me and Light, never thinking about himself, while he was probably whom all of it hit the hardest...

I heard my friend's silent sigh and lifted my head to see him settling more comfortably in the pillows and grabbing two others. "Come on," he said simply, putting his hand on the bedding next to himself.

As soon as I sank into the soft feathers, Siaril circled his arm around my shoulders and I just leaned my head on his. I smiled inwardly. The warmth finally made me feel like I could be able to fall asleep, but that bony structure sure would make it difficult again...

Maybe that was the reason I felt so uneasy and quickly lost my composure lately... I missed the serenity and lightheartedness that the arms of someone trusted brought with them... Armailith was taking care of me like a mother would of her cub since I woke up in her nest, but that wasn't quite the same...

"Do you miss them...?" Siaril's whisper reached my ears.

"Who...?" I mumbled sleepily, not even bothering to open my eyes.

"Your family... Elithia..."

Sometimes it felt like Siaril could read minds... "I do... a lot..."

"If you want, we can visit them again. You promised after all..."

I shook my head even before he finished. "I'd love to, but... Sharish is so unpredictable lately. I don't want him to accidentally come up with the idea of razing my village to the ground if he happens to watch us again... I don't want them to get involved further..."

"I understand, but... I'm sure they're worried. And so am I... you seem depressed..."

"There's nothing to worry about, really. The situation is recoiling on all of us, Yasenka and Light included, I guess it's just showing a bit more on my pretty face."

Siaril let out a breath that was a shadow of a laugh. "There is nothing wrong about it. It might not be that well visible on my ugly face, but I'm worried too and I miss my family... Especially my sister..."

I held back a laugh myself. "You have a sister?"

A sad smile found its way to my friend's lips. "A two years younger treasure... It was... difficult to leave her and my mother, but I too didn't want to get them involved, get them into danger..."

I took a moment to think about my next words. "Armailith told me that you ran from home because you knew that no one would allow you to just venture out into the world, you being the successor... Don't you think you made them worry even more that way? They have no idea where you went, if you're even still alive..."

"I left them a letter with an explanation... I know it's far from enough in such a matter, but I couldn't just tell them everything, they would probably have locked me up somewhere rather than let me go. Besides... I don't think I would have had the courage to tell Phaladriel into her face that I have to leave... she's cried enough because of me, and so did my mother. Though... right now it's probably no different..."

"You say it like they cried before you left too?"

The sigh that escaped Siaril seemed to come from the very bottom of his soul. "I was nothing but worry for my family for years... I always refused to accept my right to rule that being born to the Nitrael house gave me. Why should I have, we were disinherited anyway... I just wanted to be normal, longed for freedom. Which was the source of many quarrels with my father, who wanted us to reclaim what was rightfully ours. I often ran from home, hid in the city or somewhere in the mountains... I had the luck of meeting Sitriel during one of those escapades. He always willingly listened to the worries that weighted my heart down. He was also the one who often convinced me to return home sooner than I planned... I stopped running from my problems only when I noticed that my mother started to get depressive and I heard Phaladriel's sobbing next door at night..."

Siaril paused, but I didn't respond just yet. I felt happy that he was opening up to me, even if it hurt both our hearts. The only thing I did was gently squeezing his hand. Luckily, the subtle answer of his fingers told me that he was still with me, wasn't entirely gone in the world of painful memories.

"I loved my father, despite the differences," Siaril picked up. "And I knew he loved me back, he just wanted the best for all of us... but I just kept refusing... The stress I caused him was probably the reason why he suddenly fell ill and passed away shortly after. And I... even when he was lying on his death bed, I couldn't overcome my stubbornness... even when he used the remnants of his strength to ask me to take the throne of Earlindon should I get a chance... I couldn't promise that... not even lie about it... how heartless and egoistic one must be..."

I suddenly felt something warm on the back of my hand. I tore my absent gaze away from the blue of the bed sheets and saw a tiny tear, glittering silvery in the misty glow of the candle. I've seen Siaril cry before... but this time his tears spoke to me more clearly than ever.

"Maybe now..." I did my best to pick my words carefully, "your family could claim the rights to the throne? By law, you mother should be queen now, I think?"

"I don't think it would be that easy... Law is one thing, but Earlindon long forgot about us. Some would grant us that right, like Hreshia's elderly citizen who know our history... but I'm afraid the rest might just call us usurpers."

I gently shook my head in disbelief. "How did you manage to endure all this... When shortly after, Sitriel's death was added to it..." I trailed off. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I didn't know what to say that made me stop, or the fear that I could break him if I went any further...

But Siaril just smiled, the saddest and strongest smile I've ever seen. "When you're at the bottom, you can't really look further down. I had to look up... Even if there was still something beneath me, I didn't want to see it." He let out another quiet sigh. "You probably shouldn't pay attention to my problems, Sigrian... I'll just drag you down with me... All I can do is make people cry... my family, Yasenka, you... I'm just a selfish, stubborn idiot, that's all..."

"You're not!" I interrupted him, unable to tolerate this kind of nonsense and shifting to put my hand to his shoulder and make him look me in the eyes. "If it was true... I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have followed you that day, you wouldn't have become someone so important to me. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, I myself made more than I can count. But you can't just force your heart and soul to change, you can't suddenly become someone you're not, someone who others would like you to be. Light once explained these things to me but, to be honest, only now his words started to make some twisted and deep sense... People close to you love you for who you really are... And it's the true you who I accepted as my best friend... a partner whom I trust unconditionally... and who I feel trusts me, even though I turned misunderstanding him almost into an art..."

Siaril gave me a sad smile... and just like a lake can be as blue as the sky that it reflects, the same way his eyes were reflecting his soul and heart. I saw everything in them, the sadness, the guilt, the relief at my words...

"You know..." he said quietly, "I've seen people who believed they have what it takes to sit on a throne, yet would have been no better than a stable boy sitting on a haystack, but you... you hold so many of the qualities people look for in a king and which some men three times your age lack..."

I smiled. It was weird... I fought that inner conflict for quite a while now, and it was only Siaril's words that made me find my answer to it. "Rather than sitting on a throne and watching everything from above... I prefer being close to the people who need me on the ground. I believe that's the best way to serve our kingdom. The best way for both me and you..."

Siaril suddenly wrapped his arms around me and hid his face in my shoulder. "You know..." his voice was so silent that it almost got drowned out by the rustle of leaves outside, "Sitriel once said something similar... shortly after my father passed away..."

"Oh..." I had to smile. "Well, I guess that proves he was right then?"

Siaril nodded, his hair tickling my neck. "Thank you..."

We both leaned on the pillows again and just rested in silence for some time, the wind coming in from the ajar balcony door gently moving the curtains. It didn't take long for me to start feeling sleepy, Siaril's soft, steady breath becoming a sort of strange lullaby...

I couldn't tell when the excess pillows got removed from behind my back, my body sinking into the mattress and soon getting covered by the already warm quilt. Before I blacked out completely, I felt Siaril's lips brush my forehead. It was a gesture that spoke volumes, more than most of the words he gave me. He trusted me and wanted to keep protecting me even if I stabbed him in the back... Which I knew would never happen again... I would have rather pointed that blade at my own heart...

It's been weeks since I enjoyed a sleep as deep and peaceful as that night...

~

The sight that greeted me when I woke up was a book, a thin, velvet ribbon poking out from between the pages serving as a marker. I took a long, lazy moment to wonder why it was there, lying between mine and another pillow that I didn't need, and why the delicate rays that the sun seeped into the room had a tint of blue instead of green. Eventually though, I smiled at Siaril's face, still peaceful and very much dead to the world. Not feeling like sleeping anymore, I carefully stood up, trying my best not to wake him.

I widened the gap available for the light to come in only so much that I could slip out onto the balcony. A few grey cloudlets wafted around in the sky, occasionally veiling the sun. I stretched and glanced down. Armailith, of course, wasn't there anymore. She was lazily splashing about on the shallows not far away. She soon noticed me and approached, causing sizeable waves to crash into the mansion's walls with a loud rush.

"I thought you will not wake up at all today," she said, shaking off the water from her enormous wings and unintentionally splattering me and the whole eastern facade of the building. "Oh... I'm sorry..." she huffed with worry upon seeing that shielding myself with my arms accomplished nothing beyond getting my sleeves slightly more soaked than my face.

"Did the bath yesterday not get all the dirt off me or something?" I laughed, pushing my wet bangs away from my eyes. I suddenly felt nicely brisk and fully awake.

Armailith's tail swayed playfully. "At least you can have no doubts now. And where is Siaril? Maybe he would fancy an early bath too?"

"Maybe later, let's allow him to sleep some more."

"He's not up yet?" the dragoness lowered her voice, leaning her head down to try and peek through the curtains. "Well... I cannot say I am very surprised. He almost didn't sleep the last two nights..."

"Wait, what...?"

"I think your argument caused him quite the distress... I'm glad you grew wiser, a bit longer and it might have ended poorly for him. And if it weren't for the strength you received from the Last Dragons, he probably would be lying ill as we speak."

I glanced over my shoulder, feeling a nasty sting somewhere near my heart. Again. "Did you talk to him about that...?" I asked quietly.

"Talking wasn't necessary, a look was enough." Seeing the guilt all over my face, Armailith added: "Do not blame yourself so much. You apologized many times now. He forgave you before even a thought about being wrong crossed your mind."

A small, sad smile on my lips, I returned to the room and carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, sighing.

How in the world did I even come up with the idea of blaming him for hiding his true identity? I was doing the exact same thing, lying to all of Earlindon wherever I went while denying my right to rule. The only difference was that I was an imposter, plain and simple, and he was the real thing. So I was even worse. Absolutely none of this was his fault...

"What's with that gloomy face...?" Siaril's sleepy voice almost made me jump. "And why did you take a bath with clothes on?"

This time, I jumped up for real, finally realizing I was making the bed sheets all moist. "Sorry, Armailith accidentally splashed me..."

He closed his eyes again and started to rub them, looking tired still. "I could use that too..."

I hesitated before running my fingers through my hair and sprinkling some of the droplets onto his face, earning myself an amused look. "You can still sleep if you want. It's not like we're in a hurry."

"Nah," Siaril sat up, rolling his shoulders. "I'm hungry. Besides, I think there's a lot to discuss now after what Sharish did, what we found out and after you learned who Light really is."

"A strategy meeting over an amazing breakfast... with the man who just became Sharish's most powerful enemy and at the same time loves him the most in this world. Sounds interesting."

"Where did that 'amazing' part come from?"

"You know our meals become crazily awesome when he feels like there's something to celebrate. And finally telling us the truth will be enough reason for him."

Siaril just snorted with laugher.