Accompanied by the vigilant gaze of Nacre, we hastily put some distance between us and the stronghold, only stopping to fetch the shards of the Sunrise from the cave. We wanted to make Light poof away straight to the Apries Lake with their help and continue without the additional weight slowing Siaril down, but the young mage simply poofed us all there without even asking.

At first, none of us even noticed the questioning stares of Armailith and Ertralia. Once we regained composure and the first inquiry came our way, we decided to do the explaining over late dinner that might as well have qualified as supper. The border of the forest lured with a pleasant chill and the gentle, east wind chased white cotton across the sky, so to loosen up the taut nerves, and so the dragoness wouldn't be left out of the conversation, we decided to eat outside.

Armailith was, of course, indignant with us for breaking our promise, but when she made sure that the only thing that suffered was our pride, she didn't stay angry for long. Only stared at us with a motherly 'you'll know better to listen to me next time' look the whole evening.

"There's one more thing..." I mumbled once our report on the unfortunate penetration of the Shinestone stronghold ended. "Sharish said that he'll soon destroy Shinestone..."

Silence covered the air above the table.

"Why didn't you say so straight away?" Light turned to me in disbelief.

"We wouldn't have been able to stop him on our own, there were too many kanh and ansirths. We could go back with Armailith now, but..."

"No," the dragoness cut in, though bitter. "As much as your faith flatters me, we need more than me to end this for good."

I clenched my fists. I felt so hopelessly powerless... It would have been better if Sharish didn't mention it at all...

"Enough is enough," Yasenka's voice broke through the cloud of gloom like a chime of a silver bell. "This isn't the time for half measures anymore. We won't accomplish anything by waiting, we would just give him more time for assembling his army."

One after the other, we all nodded. I was afraid of open war with that man, even more so after what feelings flooded my heart at the sight of my own blade ending the life of another man. But deep down I knew that postponing that battle would only bring more casualties to Earlindon. And I was kind of looking forward to Sharish's face when he sees Armailith...

"I think I know how we can equalize our chances in a fight against ansirths," Yasenka continued. It somehow sounded like she was holding on to some thought for quite some time and finally came to a decision.

"Yeah?" I ceased drawing a random pattern on the tablecloth with my finger.

The illathan looked up at the sky. "There are some creatures in the Silivren Forest ready to aid us. I might fly there tomorrow, try to gather as many as I can and lead them towards the Ethir Mountains..." her voice became lower, but loud enough for us to hear. "And maybe I'll try unsealing some magic..."

I threw her an anxious look. "You're not talking about the Empress' magic, are you?"

"I am actually."

"Are you crazy? You said yourself that you have to die to break the seal."

"I don't see the problem," her tone was perfectly carefree. "You did the same not so long ago, remember?"

"I..." That was all I got out. It took a long moment before I smacked myself in the forehead. It was hard to believe I lacked imagination this much. "The right answers are usually the simplest ones, that's why it's so hard to come up with them, isn't it?"

Siaril raised his eyebrows. "So being ready to offer your life for someone else at the Guardian's Waterfall... is enough to be considered dead for a while?"

"Actually, it's just a theory. After all, the Waterfall existed way before I became the Empress, it's not like it's a tool I created for an emergency. But the domain of the Guardian is a realm of spirits, so maybe if you enter it, you become a spirit yourself?"

"Interesting... Still, whether it's possible or not," I tried to take on a little more of a serious tone, "are you sure you want to do this? I mean, this magic... it caused you so much pain already..."

Yasenka gave me a gentle smile before leaning back in her chair, raising her eyes to the blue above. "It's alright," her voice was quiet. "Right now, there are things far more important than my fear or discomfort... Besides... won't I be kind of using that magic to prove that I haven't actually abandoned anyone?"

My lips mimicked her smile. She did have a point. "If that somehow doesn't work after all... you could try from another angle too."

"Hm?"

I reached behind my belt, where the notebook was still safely tucked in, and placed it on the table.

The illathan's mouth fell open a little, almost making me chuckle.

"You really did squeeze whatever you could out of that spectacle, didn't you?" Light praised me, amused.

I bowed a little. "I tried."

Yasenka reached for the dusty little book, her fingers twitching almost unnoticeably just before they made contact. "You thought of reversing the ritual, didn't you...?" she asked.

"Yeah. Is that possible?"

"It could be... but I don't know if we'll have time to figure that out. Better keep the uncertain as backup," a small smile decorated her lips. "It's funny... The feeling of going back to this used to terrify me. But now... I think I'm kind of excited."

"You're stronger than your past now, that's why."

"Yep. I have a family now... a home, hearts I want to protect and who are also protecting mine. I'd fight my past any day for any of you..."

"And you won't be fighting it alone," Light smiled, before tapping the edge of his wineglass against his lips a few times. "If you'll be getting some support, then I guess it's time I prove myself useful as well," he announced as if we were planning an evening banquet and not a horrible battle.

"With all due respect, I'm afraid to ask what you even mean."

My master laughed a little, leaning back. "I plan to visit Hreshia... Who knows, maybe there is some way to talk the kanh out of it all. If they're willing to listen to my brother, maybe they'd at least grant me an audience too. And even if not... looking for some details about Siaril's sword and gaining knowledge on what magic Acamres exactly put into it might be a good idea too."

"The way your mind works is far more sophisticated than your hair suggests," Siaril complemented completely seriously.

"Don't bring my hairstyle into this."

Siaril smiled and shifted his eyes to the orange glow that seemed to be scorching the forest surrounding the lake. "I'll go with you," he announced after a moment of deliberation, attracting my surprised gaze. The way his features softened told me that he could very well feel the question that I wanted to ask, but didn't. "It will be easier for Light to access the records in our library if I'm there. Plus, after Ioreth's destruction, Hreshia is Earlindon's militarily strongest city. Almost everyone knows the history of our lineage there and I'm sure they will eagerly join us once they know the stakes. I will gather soldiers and lead them to the Ethir Mountains. Before that though... I will visit my family. I think they've worried enough."

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I couldn't help but smile. "That will probably take a lot of time though... The journey there will be swift with just you two, but armed forces walking across half our country..."

"I'm sure I'll be able to jump at least some distance with them, using the shards of the Ilmerast," I could almost see the ideas already swirling in Light's head. "Not all the way, that's for sure, but every kilometer might have a huge meaning... If it consumes most of the energy stored in them then so be it, it's not like there will be a better cause to spend it on."

I suddenly started to feel the gravity of the situation. The approaching battle felt real now... too real. Armailith, who started cleaning her enormous wings a few minutes ago, now straightened her neck.

"Well, if you three are getting support, then all that is left for us is to fly to the Ethir Mountains and watch Sharish until you arrive, right Sigrian?"

I almost choked on the rest of my tea. "You want to fly there... just us?" I coughed.

"What, are you scared?"

"No, but..."

"I didn't say we are going to launch an assault on the stronghold. You will be harder to spot, so you will hide somewhere and watch Sharish's movements in case he has planned something unexpected. And if he has, I will carry the information across Earlindon faster than all of you combined."

I needed a long moment to think about her words. At first, I planned to offer my companionship to Siaril, but I couldn't always cling to him like a three year old to his mother. And I doubted I could be of any use in Hreshia. So... "I'll do my best then."

We left the details for the next morning. When Siaril, Yasenka and Ertralia headed for the mansion carrying some of the dishes, I purposefully lingered a little while helping Light to finish cleaning before asking to borrow a training sword. He insisted that I should rather rest than train, but when I reassured him that I won't stay out long, he agreed. Armailith declared the need for an evening flight and walked away along the shore a bit to keep us safe from an accidental strike of a wing or tail. Sivath gave us a low growl, like a wolf announcing setting out on a hunt, and soundlessly dove into the darkness of the forest.

I was back outside soon after, blade at my belt. The sun was just about to give up the last, weak attempts to light up the sky that was meant to be conquered by stars soon. With Armailith gone, the space between the mansion and the forest was free, so I headed there, listening to my own footsteps. Despite the grass being soft and springy, I could clearly hear them, heavy and sounding almost alien...

I came to a stop, reached for the hilt of the sword and drew it slowly, getting into a stance.

As I thought...

My hand was trembling, and with it the blade. The perfect steadiness and confidence that I developed thanks to my frequent sparring with Light and Siaril was gone, like the hours of work were never there to begin with. I probably wouldn't be able to compete against the youngest esquire from the castle now.

The fact that this one throw messed me up this much was almost infuriating. That kanh tried to kill Yasenka, he got what he deserved. If I hadn't stopped him, she would have been severely injured, maybe even ended up dead. So why... why did a part of me regret reaching for that dagger...?

I clenched my fingers around the leather-covered hilt until my knuckles turned white and swung the sword with all I had, the tip almost slashing the grass at the end of the motion. Despite the tight grip, it felt like it could slip out of my palm if I lost just a sliver more of my focus.

That weakness only increased the rage and I swung again, trying desperately to get rid of it. Then again... and again...

Until my blade suddenly met an obstacle.

The first thing to reach my blurry mind was the clang caused by the collision, crystalline pure, echoing with a chime that no metal would never produce and yet sounding stronger than any metal would.

Then my eyes registered the other blade in front of me, pale green, semi-transparent, allowing me to see the far shore of the lake with its trees like I was looking through a droplet of dew from the Silivren Forest.

And when I followed the flawless line of the weapon, my eyes met green ones, calm, gentle and... worried.

I looked back to my own sword. My hand was calm again.

"What's wrong...?" Siaril took a step back, letting his sword sink and rest by his leg. I did the same. "I've never seen such a bad display from you. So... chaotic."

I heard a heavy sigh and after a second realized it was my own. "I guess Yasenka didn't tell you..."

"About what?"

"The kanh I killed before we left the stronghold..."

Siaril froze for a moment. "Why...?"

I quietly summarized the few events he hasn't witnessed, including my foolish speech to Sharish.

"I admit, I don't quite understand... isn't it good that you prote... oh..." my friend's voice hushed to a whisper as he realized.

"Yeah... I've never..."

There was a long moment of silence.

"I think... all of us will be doing something against themselves in this war," Siaril picked up at last. "But like Yasenka said, this isn't the time for fear or doubt anymore. And think of the good things it could bring. For example, we could finally end your torment..."

"End mine and start yours... I mean, I'm glad you decided to visit your family before the real war, but I don't understand why you want to gather an army... You said yourself that you don't want to have anything to do with ruling. And if we'll be forced to fall back to one of the seaside cities, all cover will be blown anyway."

"In that regard, it might be better to wait and see what time brings. Whatever happens though, we just can't risk the future of whole Earlindon for the sake of our own convenience. We will have to face it sooner or later, whether we want it or not. And Hreshia's forces might prove crucial..."

I sighed again and looked to the sky. Thicker shadows gathered around us, and only the surface of the lake seemed to glimmer subtly from the light of the first stars which used a gap between the soft clouds to bless the forest. The low chirps of crickets were the only thing contradicting the tranquility and reminded that nature never slept.

"Do you think we can actually do this...?" I whispered finally, not lowering my gaze.

My friend didn't answer straight away, seemingly thinking about the right words. "I heard my father answer a similar question once... He said: 'If you think that you can do it, you're right. If you think that you can't do it, you are also right'." I just looked at him, so he continued: "If we go into this battle with the proper mindset and sticking together, then Sharish won't stand a chance. Especially if you're there."

"You mean especially if I'm not there..."

Siaril shook his head. "You'll manage, I'm sure of it. You being aware of your own weaknesses is exactly the reason why. Because the moment you become aware of them, you become stronger. And courage is controlling your fear, not the lack of it. We haven't known each other for very long but I still noticed that... you seem to be scared of your own strength. You stifle it like you're afraid of the consequences of your actions. Scared that you will be responsible for someone's suffering, even while having the best intentions... It was so evident back in Tacritia. I know that it's Sharish and Canidralth who are responsible for turning your life and your mentality upside down like this... and that I probably carry a part of the guilt as well, but... I don't think you will ever be able to forgive anyone, unless you forgive yourself first..."

I sighed. Siaril always knew how to put the feelings I couldn't (and didn't want to) specify into words... Light did once say that understanding at the level me, Siaril and Yasenka have required some amazing level of acceptance for such distinct personalities. One glance, two smiles and we were almost reading each other's minds...

And Siaril wasn't done yet.

"You don't have to always be the one who yields. The one who is always thinking he isn't able to do anything and just says that it's alright... Don't be afraid of your strength. You can allow it some freedom, like you did in Sharish's stronghold. If only there was an unrestrained wish in your heart, you could achieve anything," Siaril paused for a second, a gentle shadow of a warm smile appearing on his face. "All the more because you have something neither I nor Yasenka has. And what causes you to be unable to hide your wings..."

My head jerked up, surprised by the turn this conversation has suddenly taken. "Sorry? You know why I can't do that then?"

"It's just a guess... it occurred to me only after I learned what I missed at the stronghold. I feel like... you approach your role as a Disciple a little differently than us. I'm putting my heart into it mostly for you, to protect and support you, and partially to avenge Sitriel. Yasenka resents Sharish for what he has done to her and tries to put an end to his conceited lawlessness. But you... you just can't stand the sight of suffering. Doesn't matter if it's people who Sharish is assaulting or the ones who stand by his side... What you care about most is to stop the anguish around you, even if it means sacrificing a piece of yourself in the process. Like you did with Yasenka... you protected her, even though you never killed anyone before, and probably couldn't even imagine ever doing that. You risked your own sanity for her sake."

"It was just a reflex..."

"And it's exactly that reflex that will lead you through this battle. There are so many lives you wish to protect... And even if you end another in the process, you respect it, remember it, learn from this bitter lesson so you can do better to prevent it next time... It's a more powerful force than you think, making you so different from Sharish. This is your fire, and there is no ice in this world that is able to withstand its warmth..."

I closed my eyes, smiling at last. My whisper reached only Siaril's ears... "I'm glad... I'm glad I have those wings..."

And for the first time ever, I finally believed it wholeheartedly.

We sparred long and without holding back that evening. My hand didn't waver once.

I just hoped it would stay like this the next day, when me and Siaril would part ways...