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Interviewer: Welcome back to Origin System Testimonials! Today we have…{She looks at her notes} Seegar…Dargyn? Did I say that right?

Seegar: Yes.

Interviewer: So, you’re on the Dullahan, is that correct?

Seegar: Yes.

Interviewer: What is that like?

Seegar: I wouldn’t know.

[It’s wonderful.]

Interviewer: Could you elaborate please?

Seegar: {Sighs and points at a bench} See that bench there? I sit on something similar everytime the ship goes out.

Interviewer: So, you don’t see any action at all?

Seegar: No. When my tenno finally decides to go on a mission they decide to bring all their friends along instead.

[My tenno doesn’t want to see me get hurt, so they take their friends instead.]

Interviewer: You know, you do speak extremely well for a Grineer. Is that because of the tenno?

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Seegar: Thank you, but no?

[Thank you, yes!]

Interviewer: Right, so, since you don’t see battle, is it safe to assume you don’t have a firearm?

Seegar: Oh no, I have a firearm. I have a fucking Fulmin {stops and emphasizes the next word} Prime. {He holds it up after it appearing from nowhere} It hits like a fucking railjack in and of itself. It’s even modded. {He points to a part of it} You see this? The tenno called it a riven mod. Don’t know it is, but it can punch holes through a corpus pylon! Do you want to know how many times I’ve fired this thing?

Interviewer: Uhm…sure?

Seegar: {After a long pause} Twice. Out of anger. Had to repair the ship right after, but at least I got to fire it!

Interviewer: {She looks to the camera}

Seegar stands at the ready, gun in hand and aimed. The air lock whirs and then opens and Seegar screams and the gun fires.

The shot tore through the five grineer that were boarding the railjack.

Seconds later a door inside opens and the tenno in a large, muscular feminine frame comes barreling in, stops, looks around, shrugs, then goes back to the front.

Interviewer: Yeah, I would say that’s a pretty good firearm. Does it affect you having to kill your own kind?

Seegar: I would gladly slaughter them all…if it meant I got to fire this fucking weapon! Do you know what my podmates would do for a weapon like this? This thing could put one of the queens down!

[I love my job! The tenno are very generous! I get to use this amazing gun!]

Interviewer: So wha–

Seegar: This gun is ready at any time. I’ve cleaned it, I’ve kept it maintained, I’ve polished it. I sleep with it under my pillow! It’s not very comfortable, but it knows I love it!

Interviewer: I…see. So wha–

Seegar: This is a full barrel semi-automatic that can switch to fully automatic. The semi-automatic has the power of a shotgun, and the fully automatic can ping a corpus drone from across the ship.

Interviewer: That is go–

Seegar: It has full range optics, light weight, carbon frame made with the finest orokin grade materials. I’ve seen this thing put Sentients to rest!

Interviewer: Oh that’s wo–

Seegar: It has an eighty round, recharging battery! It has an adjustable sto–

Interviewer: Well, that’s all the time we have for today. Thank you for tuning in! Next time we’ll be speaking with another lucky railjack crewmember on the tenno ship, the Underdark.

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