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We have provided translations for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

Interviewer: Thank you for coming in today!

Clohs: Thanks! So good to be here!

[Thanks! I am so happy to be speaking to the Perrin Sequence!]

Interviewer: Wonderful! So, I’m told that you work on a railjack known as the Dominion?

Clohs: Well, to be honest, I’m pretty sure that I was put there by mistake.

Interviewer: Oh? Mistake? Could you elaborate on that?

Clohs: Well, it all started when Ticker came through for me. I was all set for brain shelving, and then was told ‘hey, someone bought out your contract’ and they pointed me to the railjack. I think they thought I was part of the combat crew?

Interviewer: Are you not? I have here that you are part of the tenno’s combat crew.

Clohs: I’m a maintenance tech by trade…I’m terrible with firearms.

Interviewer: Oh, that actually reminds me. {She looks to the camera and smiles.}

Clohs panted as he looked around and then cocked his head to the side. He could hear growls and yips coming from the nest of sticks and branches. The frame that stood behind him was a nimble bodied frame with two lengthy, elaborate helmet feathers. It twirled a staff in one hand and held a large gun in the other.

It dropped the gun into Clohs’ arms and then pointed at the den before jumping away and into a nearby tree.

Clohs looked down at the gun and then back at the warframe and then to the den.

“Uhhh, why are we here?” He looked back at the warframe. “They sound angry.”

The frame pointed at the den and then leans against the trunk of the tree, extremely high up.

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Clohs looked back at the gun right as a large, dark canine made its way out of the den, lips turned up into a savage snarl.

“Uh..help! Help! It looks hungry and I’m not made of food!”

The Frame gave Clohs a shooing gesture.

The kubrow lunged at Clohs and in a moment of panic he slammed the butt of the gun down on its head.

Interviewer: So, I think we’d agree that you’re not great at guns. Did you not receive any training at all?

Clohs: I think they thought that was training?

Interviewer: I assume it was not effective then?

Clohs: {in a tone of voice dryer than the sands of mars} No. It wasn’t.

Interviewer: What is it like working on a railjack with a tenno?

Clohs: I think I would have been safer with Nef.

[This is amazing. It’s so much better than working for Nef.]

Interviewer: {Nods her head} I see, I see. And what are some things you’ve seen whilst working there?

Clohs: Oh, I’ve seen things alright. {Dead, thousand yard stare}

Interviewer: Could you elaborate?

Clohs: Sure! I’ve seen void storms, grineer battle fleets, corpus battle fleets. Oh! And then there was this one time we went out to the veil. I don’t know what those things were, but they were terrifying!

Interviewer: Could you describe them?

Clohs: Fuck no.

[I’d rather not.]

Interviewer: So, I take it you see a lot of action then?

Clohs: I mean, you could say that. If you call action, grineer digging into the ship and attempting to murder me!

Interviewer: Well, that doesn’t sound pleasant at all.

Clohs: And you know the worst part? I have to patch the fucking holes! I don’t even get fucking hazard pay!

[It really isn't so bad. I get to repair the ship quite often! I get overtime!]

Interviewer: Oh, goodness. You’re quite passionate about that I see.

Clohs: {Head in his hands} I think I’m just stressed.

Interviewer: It does seem to be rather stressful. Surely you have some form of stress relief? {She looks back to the camera.}

Fire blazed inside the ship. Clohs is there, a wrench in one hand and omni tool in the other. He’s pointed the omni at the fire and a stream of energy emanated from it.

He stood over a grineer, the wrench coming down over and over again. His usually pristine silver uniform splattered with blood as he screams.

“You stupid mother fucker! Do. You. Know. How. Long. It. Takes. To. Get. Scorch. Marks. Off. This. Fucking. Ship?”

[Cheery music! “Get off the tenno’s ship, please!”]

Clohs: Where…where did you get that?

Interviewer: Your tenno dropped it off before we began rolling.

Clohs: {Eyes of horror} Oh dammit…{His head hits the table}I’m never getting off combat duty.

[Oh, that’s great! I’m sure they’ll put me back on combat duty!]

Clohs: So…my tenno knows about this?

Interviewer: Oh yes. They dropped off the tape and gave us a thumbs up. They seemed quite happy with your performance.

Clohs: Crap…

[Yay!]

Interviewer: Well, that’s all the time we have for today. Thank you for tuning in! Next time we’ll be speaking with another lucky railjack crewmember on the tenno ship, the Dullahan.

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