When we walked out together, it was just getting light out. It was pretty cold but it felt good because I was sweating so damn much. I just couldn’t believe the fact that Bernardo was here at my side, healthy and brimming with anxious energy.

It was the Bernardo he knew before the virus took hold of him and sapped him of his strength while he lay meekly and at the mercy of the Nurses who flocked around his bed like vultures. The memory pained him, watching him slip away every day underneath the pile of scratchy blue linen.

I kept thinking about what he last said to me, lying in a sea of cushions with the tangled web of wires around him, connected to an assortment of machines. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me Rhy.

Maybe I was. But I didn’t know it then when his heart finally dropped and the nurse flocked in, shoving me out of the room as they frantically tried to start his heart. He died in that room without me that night, afraid and alone.

They reached the top of the hill by the crazy war cannon, gazing at the far meadow below where the football stadium used to be back home. The air was as sweet as honey, with not a trace of winter but the faint crisp of summer. Long shadows stretched out before them, following the crowd of people who milled around, kicking up thick red dust that thickened the atmosphere.

Below them stretched out a carnival, the multicolored tents standing out from the crowd like a bunch of exotic fruits surrounded by brass-like wheat fields. Bright-colored songbirds and iridescent flags swung in the light breeze which carried the carnivals’ harmonious music far and wild throughout the entire town. Booths colored like cotton candy perpetrated the thick scent of fried waffles and hot dogs that swam in the air like fishes. It was amusing to think of it, watching the crazy plain carnival and thinking of the secrets it entailed.

I loved these pop-up carnivals as a kid and the way they transformed an entire place overnight. You take an empty parking lot that most have forgotten and in a night it’s suddenly packed with people as if it was Disney in summer.

“Do you remember what you told me?” Bernardo whispered, breaking the silence that we tentatively held since we first exited the room.

I shook my head as I thought back to every conversation we had, the times we spent sitting underneath the stars and counting how many other people like us were doing the same, breathlessly running in the park until we fell in each other’s laps, exhausted, and sneaking out late at night to hold hands. It was all painful, every one of them a stinging reminder of what I had lost without him at my side.

“You used to tell me about your Ma and how it used to be you two against the world,” he whispered back, taking a seat beneath the oak tree, “No matter how hard she worked, she made sure to have your back. On your tenth birthday, you went to the fair. She saved up money for the last six months to get you something special. Your whole life was defined by this moment, this was the last time she said something nice to you so I thought to take you on one more ride.”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Gentle tears caressed my cheek as I stared at him in wonder. I told him that nearly three years ago when we snuck out to point out constellations that we could spot on his roof, the hazy orange glow of the city obscured the night sky. It was a perfect evening, one that always remained inside of him in the darkest of moments but even I had forgotten what we talked about.

Bernardo reached out, grasping my hand firmly before leading me down the hill to join the crowd. He bought me many tickets and then we rode everything together until the sun completely disappeared from the sky, blanketing the world in comforting darkness.

I watched every person that walked past us and every time a person looked our way and made eye contact, my heart went haywire. I’m worried about us, about what the world would think if they saw two guys holding hands. And it’s impossible not to dwell on these feelings, he still tasted the blood in his mouth.

But I wasn't just watching a stranger, I was watching Bernado to make sure he didn't leave again but I made sure my eyes did not give it away.

But Bernardo gripped my hand, watching me with his moon-gray eyes. It was a silent gesture that meant the world, as long as he was here, he didn’t have anything to fear.

“I’ve got one more thing to show you before I take you somewhere else,” Bernardo shouted over the roaring crowd, the bright neon lights flashing in the night sky as I led me toward the Ferris Wheel.

There was no line at all; we both walked up onto the ride, spending our last ticket as we pulled the seat belt tightly around us. I clenched my fist, painful memory bubbling up before I let go, allowing the thought of spending time with Bernardo to occupy the space in my head, casting away fear and doubt.

This was the last ride I went on with my mother and the last I went with Bernardo.

A grinding noise and a swell of music bring the ride to life as the metal pods begin to climb. Someone shrieked and then laughed, bliss overcame me as I shuffled closer to Bernardo's frame.

All my life I’ve felt stuck on a Ferris Wheel. One moment I’m on top of the world, sailing through life with the wind at my heels, unstoppable and fearless. Yet the next moment, I hit rock bottom and everything fell apart. Over and over again, an endless cycle of pain and heartbreak.

That’s the whole trouble with life. It keeps kicking once you’re down. You can’t find a moment’s peace because it won’t let you so you have to learn to live with pain and see the opposite for what it’s worth. Because a lot of life is great.

So I lean forward, my heart pounding in my throat as I intertwine our fingers. There was this twist in my stomach as I struggled to remember breathing. I’ve missed this moment for a long time, so I briefly kissed him as the Ferris Wheel rolled to a stop at the top.

And I can’t even describe the feeling I was experiencing as if time itself slowed to a crawl. I wanted to stay with it forever as I pulled back, grinning like a madman as our pinkie intertwined, and screamed, at the top of my lungs to announce our happiness to the world, “KINGS OF THE WORLD!”

Some days I’ve been at the top, others at the bottom but after today, I don’t care as long as I’m with Bernardo.