Initializing character creation. Select a method (I, II, III, IV, V, VI).
"Initializing character creation? What's going on?" Anthony tried to fold his arms and failed, discovering he lacked a body.
"Anthony? Where are you?" Addison looked around the formless void. "And ditto. What is character creation and why are we bodiless?"
The first step of character creation is choosing a method for rolling ability scores.
"Which of us are you addressing?" Addison frowned.
Error-checking routine initiated … addressing the child born of Jessica O'Brien-Haas upon the nineteenth of May in the twenty-fifth year post-inscription. Is this identification correct? (Y / N)
"We're twins," Addison said. It was her turn to try to fold her arms in frustration without a body. "There are two of us."
File bug report? (Y / N)
"Yes, please," Addison said.
Anthony silently and immaterially nodded in concurrence.
Bug report filed. Error resolved. Select a method (I, II, III, IV, V, VI) to roll ability scores for your character.
"There are two of us," Addison said. "We need two characters," she added, with a tone of well-practiced frustration, honed by many shared birthday presents given by adults who had either planned poorly or thought themselves cleverer than they were.
"Does one of those methods let us create two characters?" Anthony asked. "One for each of us?"
Method IV generates twelve scores, which may be assigned however the player wishes. There is no restriction on assigning those twelve scores to two separate characters. Method IV selected. Scores are: 11, 14, 12, 10, 16, 12, 8, 13, 10, 11, 4, 11.
"Rock, paper, scissors to see which of us picks first?" Addison said.
"I don't want to get stuck with you taking the 16 and leaving me the 4? No," Anthony said. "Got to be a snake draft, okay?"
Both of them silently nodded. Addison spoke up. "Okay, so… rock, paper, scissors, shoot."
In the formless void, two bodiless twins paused for a long moment. Anthony spoke. "It was your idea to try rock, paper, scissors," he said.
"Fine. You can go first," Addison let out an invisible sigh.
"No, it's fine, you can go first," Anthony replied. "Ladies first."
There was a pause. "I would roll my eyes at you, if I had eyes," Addison said. "What would you use the sixteen for, anyway?"
"I think I'll be a dwarven barbarian, get constitution and strength up," Anthony said. "You go for a bard or sorcerer?"
"Yeah. Elven bard," Addison said. "So, I need that sixteen on Charisma for a spellcasting attribute."
"Could I maybe get the thirteen in Strength and fourteen in Constitution?" Anthony said. "It'd be helpful to be able to get two stats up."
"Fine," Addison said. "But you get both tens and the eight."
"I'll just dump them in Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma," Anthony said. "Works for me."
"Would it be crazy if I dropped the four in Strength?" Addison asked. "Just mockery from the back line all day for me."
"Heh. That would be funny. You don't really need it for anything, I guess," Anthony said. "Save your twelve for Intelligence for better skills."
Addison invisibly nodded, and then startled. The green text had returned.
Ability scores assigned.
Addison
Anthony
Strength
4
13
Dexterity
11
12
Constitution
11
14
Intelligence
12
10
Wisdom
11
10
Charisma
16
8
Error. Two races selected (dwarf, elf). Select a race.
"We want two different races," Anthony said. "Addison will be an elf, and I will be a dwarf."
Error-checking routine initiated… please hold.
There was a long moment of silence in the formless void, and then two bodies materialized in the formless void.
"You're shorter than me," Addison said as she held a slender elfin arm over her chest reflexively. "This is like sixth grade all over again. So weird."
"Worse," Anthony said, cupping both hands in front of his waist. "Fine. What's next?"
Ability scores adjusted. Select class. Error. Error-checking routine initiated… Select classes.
"Barbarian for me," said Anthony.
Barbarian is not a valid class. Select classes.
"Bard," Addison said while Anthony rubbed his chin. "For me."
You cannot be a bard. You do not meet the requirements of Intelligence (13) and are an elf.
It was Addison's turn to rub her chin in puzzlement while Anthony spoke. "Fighter, then," he said. "Not that far off."
Addison hesitated. "Sorcerer," she said.
Sorcerer is not a valid class.
"Okay, what exactly are the valid classes that I'm qualified for?" Addison asked.
Thief, mage, enchanter.
"Enchanter? What's that?" Addison asked, only to watch the green text shift in front of her.
Enchanter selected. Your initial learned spells are: Read Magic, Detect Magic, Cantrip, Sleep, Hypnotism, Identify, Dancing Lights. You may enter the world with two spells memorized, including at least one enchantment. Please select your spells.
"Hey!" Addison shouted as an elegant tome three feet tall, a foot and a half wide, and embossed with curling green leaves appeared. "Not fair, I was trying to ask you a question. And what's this?"
That is your spellbook. The paper pulp and covers are both from the heartwood of a vallenwood tree felled by a great storm. You may enter the world with two spells memorized, including at least one enchantment. Please select your spells.
"Which spells count as enchantments?" Addison stared at the blinking text.
Sleep and Hypnotism are enchantments.
"You could take both of them," Anthony suggested helpfully.
Addison gave Anthony an annoyed look at the green text dissolved and reformed.
Spells selected. Rolling hit points (1d4)… you have 2 hit points. Character sheet finalized. Error. Character sheet already finalized. Rolling hit points (1d10+1)… you have 10 hit points. Displaying character sheets.
Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.
Core statistics – Anthony
STR
13
Class
Fighter
Saves
+4 against poison and magic
DEX
12
Level
1
Death
14
CON
15
THAC0
20
Wand
16
INT
10
XP
0
Polymorph
15
WIS
10
Next level
2000
Breath Weapon
17
CHA
7
Max hp:
9
Spell
17
Special abilities:
20% magical item malfunction
+1 to hit orcs, goblins, & kin
-4 to hit by ogres, trolls, giants, & kin
Infravision
Detect grade or slope
Detect new construction
Detect sliding/shifting walls
Detect stonework traps
Determine depth
Status:
Hit points:
10/10
Armor class:
10
XP:
0/2000
Core statistics – Addison
STR
4
Class
Enchanter
Saves
Normal
DEX
12
Level
1
Death
14
CON
11
THAC0
20
Wand
11
INT
12
XP
0
Polymorph
13
WIS
11
Next level
2500
Breath Weapon
15
CHA
16
Max hp:
2
Spell
12
Special abilities:
Resistance to sleep/charm
+1 to hit with bows, swords
Bonus to surprise
Infravision
Detect secret doors
Status:
Hit points:
2
Armor class:
10
XP:
0/2500
You have (5d4)x10… 100 silver pennies of starting wealth. Optionally, allocate some of this to starting equipment.
“That doesn’t seem like a lot of money, especially for two of us,” Addison said, a wheedling tone entering her voice.
Anthony nodded. “Shouldn’t we both get separate starting wealth?”
In cases when multiple classes are selected, starting wealth issued during character creation is determined by the highest-wealth character class. Warriors start with (5d4)x10 silver pennies and wizards start with (1d4+1)x10 silver pennies. You have 100 silver pennies of starting wealth. Enter starting equipment purchase menu? (Y / N)
Anthony shook his head. “Well, I guess you’re not missing out on a lot,” he said. “Besides, with a Strength score of four, I doubt you can carry much more than your spellbook.”
Addison grabbed the floating book and hefted it experimentally, grunting with effort as her slender elven limbs strained. “This feels really heavy,” she said. “Maybe you should carry my spellbook for me.”
“That thing is almost as tall as I am,” Anthony retorted. “Maybe we can get you a mount.”
Addison beamed. “I’ve always wanted a pony,” she said. There was a flash of light in the formless void.
You have 70 silver pennies of starting wealth remaining
“Um. We need clothes,” Anthony said, shifting uncomfortably at the curious gaze of an equine with a golden coat and an immaculately-combed golden mane that matched his sister’s hair almost perfectly. The thing was taller than he was. “That should have been first on the list.”
Addison flushed. “Sorry,” she said. “But we should still have enough money for clothing and a few other things. Seventy silver pieces doesn’t sound like a lot, but a pony was only thirty silver pennies. We could even get you a pony, too.”
Anthony shook his head. “No, that would be almost half of what we have left.” Then he froze, feeling warm breath on the top of his head. His heart sinking, he slowly turned around, face-to-face with a shaggy-looking pony with a medium-brown coat and a spiky dark mane that did not, in any way, match his blond bowl-cut.
You have 40 silver pennies of starting wealth remaining.
“Addison? Please shut your big fat mouth for one minute before we lose the rest of our cash.” Anthony frowned. “Show me an equipment purchasing menu, please, clothing section.”
Addison rolled her eyes, leaning against her pony, but kept her mouth shut as a giant wall of tabulated text materialized in front of her.
“Ooh. Buff coat. I wonder if that counts as armor?” A long-sleeved leather jacket with an attached knee-length skirt materialized as Anthony smacked himself in the forehead.
Hit points:
10/10
Armor class:
6
XP:
0/2000
You have 25 silver pennies of starting wealth remaining. A buff coat counts as hide armor.
“Uh huh. You have a big fat mouth, too,” Addison said. “Gown for me. Breeches for Anthony. Horseshoes for the ponies. Saddlebags to carry this giant-ass spellbook. And…” She frowned. “Two riding saddles would be everything we have left, I think one of us will have to ride bareback.”
Anthony looked at his pony. “Looks like mine is the one with the saddle,” he said.
Addison looked up from the saddle on her pony. “Shit.”
You have 0 silver pennies of starting wealth remaining. Manure costs 1 brass bit per sack. You cannot purchase manure.
***
“Right, so then we were totally just out of money,” Addison said. “So, Anthony doesn’t have a shield or weapon. Do you think maybe we could borrow a little bit from you guys?”
Ella’s cheeks dimpled as she looked up at Addison. She looked quite cute as a halfling, really; Addison felt it was a considerable improvement from Ella’s previous body. “Well, I can’t speak for Lucas and Logan, but I think I’d like two ponies and a spellbook. And I think you’re going to give them to us for free, because I don’t have any money left after buying my equipment. Right, boys? Spellbook’s got to be worth a whole bunch of silver pennies.”
Addison looked at the short sword in Ella’s hand, then over at Lucas and Logan. Formerly a skinny beansprout, Lucas now looked massively muscular as he tossed a battleaxe from one hand to the other. Logan had been short and overweight; now he was tall, thin, and angular, wearing darkened leathers, a black cloak, and a mismatched pair of blades. “Uh… guys, you know me, right?”
“Yeah,” Lucas said, licking his lips as he leaned forward on his battleaxe like a cane, gripping the head with his hand. “I know you well enough to know that you’re a bitch. And Ella told me you're a slut. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll do everything we tell you to. Neither of you have any weapons and my Strength score is as much as both of yours put together. Fuck, after character creation, your brother is totally useless, and you’re good for only one thing. You, I could keep around if you’re obedient enough.”
Anthony growled under his breath; Addison glanced back at him briefly, shaking her head. Her fingers danced in arcane patterns as her eyes locked on Lucas’s. “Before anything else, though, you should take a quick swim in the water to get every inch of you squeaky clean and fresh.”
“I should go for a quick swim in the river,” Lucas said. “Right, guys?”
Ella nodded. “Yeah, me too. I need to get squeaky clean and fresh,” she said.
“Hey, guys,” Logan said as his companions starting stripping off their clothes. “What gives? Why are you going swimming like she told you to?”
“What, are you chicken or something?” Addison flapped her elbows. “Too chicken to skinny dip, bawk bawk bawk.”
“I’m not chicken,” Logan said. “I was just, uh, waiting to see if you were.”
Addison raised an eyebrow, sliding off the pony. She put two hands on the hem of her gown and pulled up as Anthony looked away, embarrassed at his sister’s antics. “I’m not chicken,” Addison said as she turned to face her pony, carefully folding up her gown. By the time she finished stowing the gown in one of her saddlebags and daintily walked to the edge of the river, shielding her modesty with her slender arms, Logan was already waist-deep in the water, staring at her in anticipation.
Addison shifted from foot to foot nervously. “You need to turn around so I can jump in the water,” she said. Logan licked his lips and stared for a moment, waiting; then sighed and turned around.
Addison turned and bolted.
Moments later, the twins were riding away on their ponies at a full gallop. Anthony’s arms were full – too full – and a short sword fell to the ground, pulling with it a halfling-sized boot. An angry naked Logan had just finished wading out of the river, shouting as he went. Ella and Lucas were both still in the river, looking very confused.