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10. Donna's Downfall

Donna hefted the hobgoblin-made halberd experimentally. The weapon seemed strikingly well-balanced. "Thank you," she told the tall goblin. "This is a lovely gift. I think this is exactly what I need for hunting dark elves."

"We're hunting dark elves?" The short goblin paused his search of the battered hobgoblin. Rocks and thrown clubs lay scattered around the prone form. A frightened expression appeared on the short goblin's face, and he muttered under his breath as he looked back down at the fallen hobgoblin. "Maybe we shouldn't have quit…"

"Well, normally I wouldn't try to hunt dark elves, but with a weapon like this… this is a very nice weapon." Donna said. "But if you're too frightened to hunt dark elves, that's okay. Just lead me to the cave that the dark elves drove you out of, and I'll start my hunt from there."

The short goblin nodded. "That seems reasonable," he said, elbowing the tall goblin.

The tall goblin smiled, holding up his bright new shiny silver penny. "You pay us good. We work for you. We show you cave, you hunt dark elves."

As Donna and the goblins set out, leaving the hobgoblin behind, light footprints in the dirt appeared one at a time, closer and closer. Then the hobgoblin's body shifted. His belt pouch lifted off his belt and turned upside-down, shaking three times before flying off to the dirt. A dagger lifted off the hobgoblin's belt before disappearing. More footprints appeared in the dirt rapidly, moving away from the hobgoblin.

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Liam has recovered 2 silver pennies' worth of treasure from a hobgoblin for 2 XP. Liam has earned 2 bonus rogue XP for recovering 2 silver pennies' worth of treasure from a hobgoblin.

Status:

Hit points:

2/2

AC:

8

Spells memorized:

Color spray

XP (mage):

11/2500

XP (thief):

20/1250

"That's it?" Liam sighed in frustration. "At this rate, I'm not going to level up for at least a month," he grumbled, hurrying to follow the distant goblins. The half-elf woman had looked vaguely familiar, somehow, though he couldn't put a name together with the face. And a familiar face didn't mean allies. He'd known Aiden as a classmate; but in this world, Aiden the elf had straight-up murdered Ava for the crime of looking like a monster, and Liam looked like a scaled and feathered monster of some kind.

Liam sighed. If his grandma was there, she'd be telling him to count his blessings and look on the bright side. So, what was right? Well, he'd memorized a new spell to replace that useless 'Friends' spell. He'd only just turned invisible a little while ago; if his previous experience with that ability held up, he would stay invisible for an entire day. And he'd learned that getting treasure could help him level up as a thief. He just needed to steal a lot more of it. He suspected that whether she was friend or foe, the half-elf woman would lead him to an opportunity to steal more treasure.

He caught up to them just outside of a dark hole in the ground; presumably, a cave entrance.

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"So, there were only ten of them?" Donna asked. "It sounded like you outnumbered them by quite a bit."

"Yes," the tall goblin said. "Smart leader said fighting bad idea, dark elves come back more later."

Donna nodded. "If there were more of them down there, we should have seen a patrol coming in or going out of the cave." She didn't feel as confident as she sounded. "Your smart leader wasn't smart enough, though. I am smarter."

From the way the goblins described the 'good cave' and the way they could live off of fish from the underwater river running through it, she was beginning to suspect that the reason that the dark elves had kicked the goblins out was that they wanted more fish. However magical the dark elves were, underground ecologies simply were not blessed with a surfeit of free calories. If the dark elves had their own fishing spot deeper down the river, they probably didn't need to fish in the goblins' cave; but if they did, there could be quite a few dark elves.

"Gather close," Donna said. "Before I go hunting by myself, I will tell you the story of the last time I hunted dark elves. If I die, I do not want the story to die with me."

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Liam fished in his pocket, finding the last almond cookie as he perched invisibly on top of a boulder. He listened attentively to the half-elf woman as she spoke about leading a band of a dozen diminutive gnomes to victory against an army of twenty dark elves accompanied by a spider-demon, her story gradually gaining rhythm and meter.

In his freshman English class in high school, his teacher had told him that epic poetry was a major form of entertainment once upon a time; he'd scoffed at that, bored out of his skull as they trudged slowly through The Odyssey. Now, though, he understood. Swallowing the last of the cookie, he watched as silence trailed in the wake of the half-elf's recitation.

"Ah, well," the half-elf said. "It was nice spending time with you, but I must go hunt the dark elves now. I cannot expect you to be so bold as the gnomes were."

The tallest goblin turned his head and spat. "We brave! Gnomes cowards! We hunt dark elves with Donna!"

The other goblins cheered. "We hunt!"

As the pack of goblins marched into the dark entrance of the cave, Liam blinked. Donna was his grandmother's name. He shook his head. Can't possibly be Grandma, he thought to himself. Grandma's old. And she's a total granola granny who bakes cookies and goes to church every Sunday. This woman is some kind of Valkyrie, a bloodthirsty warrior eager to throw herself into battle.

Moving quietly, he followed the goblins into the dark cave. With his new infrared vision, he could see the fading heat of the goblins' footprints. A clash of metal on metal echoed through the tunnel ahead of him; he also heard angry shouting and the half-elf's voice, ringing clear as a bell. "Death to the servants of the spider queen!"

Liam stepped into a large cavern, one filled with normal light. He blinked against the sudden intrusion of the visible spectrum back into his vision as he flattened himself against the cavern wall, quietly edging sideways around the battle. Several dark elves were directing bright balls of magical light at the flinching faces of the tightly-packed formation of goblins. Two dark elves lay still on the cavern floor, along with one goblin. A wounded dark elf stepped back as he blocked the half-elf's halberd, swung clear over the heads of the shorter goblins with vicious force. Most of the dark elves were armed with swords, either a dagger or a small crossbow in their off-hands.

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I'll just check to see if there's some kind of treasure the dark elves are guarding, Liam thought to himself, quietly padding along the edge of an underground river. Them being distracted by the goblins is the perfect time to pull off a heist.

One dark elf stood back behind the others, just in front of the bridge that crossed the water, calling out what had to be instructions of some kind. As she gestured, a violet tracery of light leapt into existence around the half-elf. Momentarily, it became clear the magical halo was the dark elf's leader's way of designating a target; two crossbow darts bounced off of the half-elf's chain hauberk, and the half-elf nimbly ducked under a third. Then a fourth dart stuck in the half elf's chest, either striking a weak link or at the perfect angle.

The half-elf yanked the dart, looking at it; then her eyes rolled back in her head. "Frank!" she gasped out as she collapsed backwards, twisting as she fell.

Liam froze, staring at the very modern-looking purse resting on top of the fallen half-elf's chest. Frank is Grandpa's first name. That is Grandma. He swallowed, drawing his sword as he stepped behind the dark elf leader unheard. I have one chance at this. He stabbed, and watched as his hands shimmered into visibility, the blade making a crunching noise as it plunged into the dark elf's back. He tried to twist the blade, and it stuck against her ribs.

She gurgled, turning as she fell to her hands and knees. Liam's fingers danced, letting loose his spell, and blinding colorful light filled the cavern. When his vision cleared, the dark elf leader was staring up at him in hatred, seemingly unaffected as she crawled forward, coughing blood.

Liam stepped to the side, backing up as two other dark elves came rushing toward him; and then let out a sigh of relief as the dark elves kept running, going across the bridge, terror filling their eyes. A trio of shouting goblins ran up to the bridge, then stopped, standing in the middle of the bridge and shouting in the general direction of the tunnel the dark elves had taken.

"Run fast, elf! This goblin cave! Not elf cave!" The tallest of the three goblins gestured with a flanged mace. Then he turned to Liam, bowing. "Feathered demon, thank you."

The shortest of the three goblins followed this with another bow. "Your assistance is appreciated. Do you have magics that could seal the tunnel?"

"No. Wait," Liam's mind raced. "I do know magic that can hold a door shut," he said, then his face fell. "But there is no door on the tunnel, and I can't use that magic right now anyway."

The short goblin elbowed the tall goblin, then whispered in his hear.

The tall goblin puffed out his chest, turning back to those goblins who were still standing. "Quick! We move things now! Block tunnel!"

As the goblins rushed around, Liam walked over to the fallen dark elf leader. She wasn't moving. He prodded her limp form cautiously with a toe, then harder, turning her over. He kicked experimentally. No response. Searching her body, he found a small pouch with a pair of polished gemstones, white with a pale blue hue, a gold coin, and eleven silver coins.

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With party member Donna, Liam has defeated ten dark elves for 6500 XP (3250 XP each) and recovered 121 silver pennies' worth of treasure (61 XP each). Liam has also earned 121 bonus rogue XP for recovering 121 silver pennies' worth of treasure.

Status:

Hit points:

2/2

Armor class:

8

Spells memorized:

None

XP (mage):

1667/2500

XP (thief):

1796/1250

Liam has leveled up! Rolling (1d6-1)/2 additional hit points… Liam has gained 1 hit point.

STR

7

Class

Mage/thief

Saves

+2 vs acid

DEX

16

Level

1/2

Death

13

CON

5

THAC0

20

Wand

11

INT

17

XP (mage)

1667/2500

Polymorph

12

WIS

9

XP (thief)

1976/2500

Breath Weapon

15

CHA

13

Max hp:

3

Spell

12

30 discretionary thieving skill points granted!

With my being able to turn invisible, I'm not sure hiding in shadows is that useful of an ability, but there sure are a lot of caverns and mountains and cliffs around here, Liam thought to himself.

Liam has chosen to divide these points between Move Silently and Climb Walls.

Thief abilities

Pick Pockets

15%

Open Locks

15%

Find / Remove Traps

10%

Move Silently

65%

Hide in Shadows

45%

Detect Noise

15%

Climb Walls

75%

Read Languages

5%

Updated Status:

Hit points:

3/3

Armor class:

8

Spells memorized:

None

XP (mage):

1667/2500

XP (thief):

1796/2500