Kelsam

The plan, such as it was, was to hide the leaders and say they were never there.

Kelsam didn’t ask why Guennet had a hidden chamber under the floorboards of her parlor, but she was confident that even if the knights of Galibasti conducted a thorough search they’d never find it. Still Kelsam was uneasy when he went to bed that night, and the sound of the storm outside did little to calm his nerves. There was no way he was going to fall asleep before Esar and Naomi returned.

Esar did return late that evening. It was a relief to see him, but—oh, lovely. He was soaked from the rain. How much vitricity had he been burning just to keep himself warm?

“Where did you go?” Kelsam asked.

“We helped put up shelters in the garden. Bit of a hurry to get it done.” Esar shrugged out of his coat, which must have soaked up twice its weight in rainwater.

Kelsam heaved a sigh. The pit in his stomach had only abated for a moment when Esar returned, and now it was back with a vengeance. “Guennet’s going to meet with that Salgiar tomorrow, along with the abbot. I don’t—”

“Stop. We can talk about that later.” Esar continued to strip out of his wet clothes. “It’s been so long since we had any time alone together . . .”

Anticipation kindled inside Kelsam, a welcome change from the dread that had been dominating his mood. He jumped up to help Esar undress. “Far too long. And you’d better get out of those wet clothes right away.”

Esar was usually too ill at ease to do anything but sleep when he was under anyone else’s roof, but they’d been sharing hotel rooms with Naomi and Jason for almost two weeks, and it felt like an eternity. They both needed this, the familiar warmth of each others’ skin, the familiar paths of hands and lips made new and exciting by how long this sort of intimacy was just out of reach. Perhaps Kelsam should have taken it slower, should have made every moment count, because when would they get another chance? But he found himself incapable of patience, especially when Esar was so eager as well. Together they could release each other from the concerns that weighed upon them, and afterward, the burden wasn’t as heavy as it had been before.

“I can’t believe I took it for granted,” Kelsam murmured as Esar climbed back up to lie beside him.

“Took what for granted?”

“Having you all to myself, all the time. This is the real reason you didn’t want kids, isn’t it?”

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Esar chuckled. Kelsam pulled him close, his arm wrapped around so that Esar lay with his head on Kelsam’s shoulder. They were too warm to need any blankets just yet, but even as the air cooled their unclothed skin, Kelsam still wanted to keep his husband as close to him as possible. Moments like this, when Esar was at peace, were so precious and rare. There would be time later to talk about the meeting, about Naomi, about everything else.

But as Kelsam waited for the right moment to speak, Esar’s eyes closed, and his breathing deepened. Good. Esar needed his rest more than he needed to hear what he’d missed at the meeting. They could talk in the morning, figure out where to go then.

Still, Kelsam couldn’t sleep. Not until he stopped hiding from the truth and faced it head-on.

There would be no going back to the way things were.

Careful not to disturb Esar, Kelsam pulled the blanket up to cover them both.

While they traveled northward, he’d been able to tell himself that once they got Naomi and Jason to Thaliron, once all the ambient devices were repaired and the linecar was running again, things would go back to normal. Maybe not exactly the same—he wasn’t that naïve—but back to a life that wouldn’t be so different from the one he’d known. He couldn’t hold onto that belief any longer, though, now that he’d seen Nalla-Bidharac. The fighting here was only beginning, and who knew what else would follow?

He’d taken it all for granted. His comfortable life, working in the garden of a peaceful Sanctuary in a peaceful kingdom, living with the man he loved and had come so close to losing. As exasperating as Esar’s tumultuous moods could be, there was still a familiar pattern to them. But the life he had known was gone, and so was the world he’d been living in until Naomi and Jason appeared in the fountain. They weren’t the only ones who’d found themselves in an unfamiliar world.

He could say farewell to that old life, but the question remained as to what would replace it, a question even Esar couldn’t answer. He said that the future he most feared would never come, but there were still so many ways things could go wrong. Kelsam had to hold on to hope, had to make it shine like a beacon for Esar’s sake and everyone else. But in the dark, as his husband slept, he worried. Could someone like Norsyff crush the aspirations of those striving to build a better life for themselves? And what about the construct bird that was watching them, the one he’d mistaken for a large raven in Norana? What did Naomi’s father want, and what would become of King Gerimon? What was going on in parts of Elorhe he knew nothing about?

None of that should have been any of his business. Kelsam wasn’t the kind of person on whom such responsibilities were supposed to fall. He was supposed to be worrying about landscaping designs and harvest festivals and tourists trampling the flowerbeds, not the fate of Elorhe.

But he’d sworn his Devotion because he wanted to help people. And though he would miss his old life, there was nothing in the world that could tear him away from Esar’s side. His husband needed him, and Kelsam would be there, no matter what happened.

Esar stirred in his sleep, then woke with a start a moment later. Kelsam tried to hand him his journal, but Esar shook his head. He picked up his trousers, found them still soaked from the rain, and went to his bag for a fresh pair.

“What did you—” Kelsam began.

Esar said only a single word before he left the room. “Bulrisa.”

Bulrisa? What did Bulrisa have to do with anything? It was a big city far to the east, a central hub on the spine—

And Bulrisa had a construct sealed within its city limits.