Equipable Item: Rusty Longshanks.
This Rank 1 item requires an empty equipment slot (5/5). No space available.
Rusted cuisse and greave combo provides:
+3 Quickdraw slots.
+1 Defence.
Can be upgraded to Rank 2 for 1000 XP. Rank 2 provides:
Buff: Form Rust
This item conflicts with School Shorts, replace?
“Yes!”
The School Shorts dropped to the ground beside me as I checked out how I looked in the Rusty Longshanks. They were a definite improvement. My bottom half looked like a knight. A rusty one, but still a knight. That was cool.
My top-half looked like a school boy. I don’t know much about fashion, but I think I’m clashing. I was clearly still a kid. I had aged during the level up, but not by a huge amount. At a guess, I would say I looked about 5 years old. I couldn’t see my face, but my body was short and my hands were still tiny.
“It’s a start,” I said. “At least I skipped toddler.”
Now, I think I deserve a reward.
Race Details:
Human.
Featherless Biped. Omnivore. Violent. Highly Social. Intelligent-ish.
Base Stamina: 10. Base Health: 10. Base Magic: 0.
Next I checked my Resources page.
NULL XP: 85 Equip Slots: 5 QD Slots: 3
Max Stamina: 11. Max Health: 12. Max Magic: 6
That made sense. My Max Stamina was ten plus my Dexterity or maybe my Dexterity multiplied by my level. I guessed that meant my stamina recovered by my Constitution per minute as long as I wasn’t starving. My health was directly increased by my Constitution, but was only recovered by certain Skills or resting (now that I had the Sleep Tight Perk).
I needed to find somewhere safe to rest and something to eat before that Hunger circle started flashing again.
I headed back towards the path, then changed my mind. Travelling on the path might make me an easy target for any potential threats. Instead, I wanted to try sneak through the woods next to the path. That way I might avoid dangers before they present themselves. The problem was, I moved too slowly to reduce my movement any further. The basics of stealth require reduced movement in order to tread carefully. My top speed was still a crawl, so the best I could do was blunder through the bushes next to the path.
At the very least, I could duck down if I saw something coming. If I was caught out in the middle of the path, it would take me twenty seconds just to reach the bushes.
This is taking forever!
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The afternoon passed slowly, but not as slowly as I walked. Luckily, I seemed to be in a fairly safe neck of the woods. Aside from that jerk spider, I hadn’t seen a living thing. Except plants. There were a lot of plants.
Every five minutes or so, I used up most of my Stamina by running. It wasn’t much of an increase in speed, but even a fraction meant a lot at this pace. Whenever I reached a place with few trees, I even risked using my Ram Slam. It allowed me to leap forward about ten meters in a second, which was a minutes worth of walking. I liked the skill, but I would never be able to use it in combat. The Stamina depletion was intense and if I ever actually hit something, I would surely die.
While waiting for my Stamina to recover, I tried sniffing at any flowers or big leaves that I passed. If the situation wasn’t so dire, I would be picking every plant I could. Gathering could be a skill for all I knew.
By the time the sun had started to set, I had gained +3 Dexterity and +1 Perception. I didn’t gain any more Skills though… Or Perks.
And I still haven’t seen anything that I would risk eating.
Hunger stab. Health: 95%.
“Right on cue...” Shit.
OK, I’ll admit it. I was starting to panic. Maybe I wasn’t thinking too clearly when I turned away from the path and plunged deeper into the woods.
Hunger stab. Health 90%.
“Hello?” I called out. “Does anyone have food for a starving child?”
No answer.
Hunger stab. Health: 90%.
The woods were getting darker the further I walked.
Hunger stab. Health: 85%.
The trees drew closer together.
Hunger stab. Health 80%.
When I looked back, I could no longer see the path behind me.
Oh, man. This is not going according to plan.
Hunger stab. Health 75%.
Damn it. I spent too long reading and checking out my gear. I should have prioritised food and shelter. Oh, crap. I had forgotten about trying to find running water. Isn’t that the first thing you should do when you’re lost in the wilderness? I haven’t noticed a separate Thirst circle… Maybe Hunger and Thirst are bundled together?
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
Either way, I was totally boned. Screwed. Finished. Defeated. Useless. Worthless. A waste of space. A complete and utter—
—Ooh, is that a mushroom?
A troop of mushrooms, not quite a cluster, stuck up from the loamy earth between some gnarled roots of a nearby tree. They were thin and white with a greyish cap. From the edge of the caps hung a sinewy thread with tiny blue bulbs on the ends.
“Yes, I did it!” I said. “Nailed it. I’m awesome. Smartest survival expert ever. I’m unstoppable. I’m incredible.” I hope these mushrooms aren’t inedible.
They tasted like walnuts, carrot, and feet.
New Temporary Buff unlocked: Ether blend.
In the time it takes to blink, I had collapsed into a ball on the ground. It had been getting dark before, but now everything looked kind of pale blue, and all swishy-swashy. I was half expecting to explode, vomit, or grow on one side and shrink on the other, but when nothing else happened except my Hunger circle filling up and flashing yellow, I pulled out my Pocket Book.
Active Effects:
Permanent:
None.
Temporary:
Ether Blend.
Efficiency: 98% Duration: 3:59:47 seconds remaining.
Blends your world with the Ether realm. For the duration of this buff, your speech skill now translates into and from Ether Language.
Lethargy increases until rest.
“Well, I guess there is nothing else to do but take a nap then,” I said… in Ether language apparently.
“Ah, hah,” said a funny little voice. “Caught grey handed.”
I looked around, but couldn’t find the speaker.
“You’re stealing my nuts!” The voice was chirpy and ridiculously fast. I could barely keep up with what they were saying, but I did realise they were above me.
I turned my head up and spotted a bundle of red fur a few meters above my head. Despite the pale-blue effects of the Ether Blend, the burning red coat of a small squirrel shone like a ruby in the dark.
“I’m not here for your nuts,” I said. “I just ate one of these.”
I raised another of the Ether Blend mushrooms, only to discover my hand was empty. There was a crimson flash and then the squirrel was sitting on the branch of a different tree.
“So you admit, you muck muck muck,” he said. “You’re working for the greys aren’t you? Up to their usual tricks. All to steal my nuts nuts nuts. You big meanie. You grumpus malumpus. How dare you? How double dare you? How triple dare you? Who are you anyway? You’re a big lump. A legs walker. Human. Look at you. Nice to meet you. No it isn’t. You’re a thief thief thief. A nut stealer. Those were mine. Well, I wanted them anyway. I’ve got this one now. I snatched it off you. Sorry sorry sorry. Those were meant to be all mine. I need them. I have to get the nuts nuts nuts.”
He didn’t stop there, but that was about as much as I could parse. He spoke too fast and some of the words weren’t translating correctly.
“Stop talking,” I said.
But he didn’t.
“I’m Riffy, by the way. Riffy Riffy Riffy. That’s my name. What’s yours? Is it a human name? I know a human name already, Scrumple. Wait, no. That was something else. Well I forgive you, I suppose. No point hanging on to old grudges for our entire lives. Eventually we have to move on.”
He didn’t stay still while talking. He buried the mushroom, zipped from tree-to-tree, vanished from sight, only to reappear beside or above me, and he still talked all the while.
A long time passed before I could find a word in edgewise.
“NULL,” I said.
“Pardon? What did you say? Could you repeat it? What what what?” he asked. “No, don’t understand. Say it again.”
“Slow down,” I said. “My name is NULL. For now at least.”
“Don’t know that word. Can’t understand it. What does it mean? Not a clue,” he continued. “Strange name. Human name. NULL NULL NULL. Say it again. What does it stand for?”
“NULL. It’s a bit like nothing really.”
“Nothing? What’s that? I had a friend called Noring. Do you know her? I haven’t seen her for a very long time. Oh, there she is. Hello, Noring.”
“Sqip crick nuk nuk,” This was another voice, just as fast and squeaky, but unlike Riffy, I couldn’t understand a single word— or squeak— they said.
“Yes, I remember. How was your visit to Widdle Stump?” said Riffy. “I was just mentioning to my new friend that I haven’t seen you since this morning. Well, don’t let me keep you. Thanks for stopping by. I was going to introduce you to my good friend, but I guess that can wait until next time. His name is NULL and he’s a human. Believe it not, when we first met, we were at each other's throats, but we grew on each other and now we’re thief-friends as thick thick thick.”
Noring squeaked and clicked back several dozen more times in quick succession. I finally spotted her, another squirrel darting about on a nearby tree, then she departed in a flash.
“She’s a good friend,” said Riffy. “Noring Noring Noring. But what were you saying?”
It took me a few seconds to recall what I had been explaining and Riffy had moved onto many new topics by the time I was ready to answer.
“Think of it this way, Riffy. NULL is like zero.”
“No, don’t understand. No no no. What is it?” Riffy zipped.
“Zero. Like if you count down until there isn’t anything left.”
“Anything left? What kind of thing? Count count count. I can do that. One two three. Three three three.”
It took everything I had to keep up with him, but I managed to jump in before he could get too far ahead of me. “Imagine you have three nuts and you take away a nut. What do you have?”
“Three nuts. That’s a lot of nuts. Good. I want three nuts. Let’s get them. Yes, I want them. Take one away? No, not mine. I’ll take them. I’ll take one two three.”
“Nevermind. Just listen. Don’t answer. Stop talking, Riffy.” I clasped my head in my hand and waited for him to take another breath. “If there are three nuts and you take one nut away, there will be two nuts. Then if you take another nut away, there will be one nut left. So if there is one nut left, and you take one nut away, there will be zero nuts. No nuts. Empty. That’s almost what NULL means.”
“Oh dear. Poor NULL. Here you go,” said Riffy. He had amassed a pile of nuts and mushrooms on the ground next to me. I didn’t even notice him do it. He must have incredibly high Dexterity.
I yawned.
“Thank you, Riffy. That’s a very sweet gift. I know how much those nuts mean to you,” I could tell I was slowing down because whenever Riffy stopped moving long enough to see his expression, he looked very bored. “I need to sleep, Riffy. Will I be safe here?”
“Safe safe safe. Riffy will protect you.”
“Thank you, Riffy. I need to explain to you the difference between nuts and mushrooms. Can you… remind me…” I yawned. “When I wake up?”
I dreamed that a squirrel was talking to me a thousand words per minute. It was quite nice, actually. For the first time I remember, I feel safe.
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