Oh man. What the fucked happened? Where am I? It’s like some kind of liminal space.

“Hello?” My voice sounded distorted.

Greeting recognised. Chosen language is English. Confirm?

“What?”

Question recognised as English. English confirmed. Select race?

“English confirmed? What?”

Correct. English has been confirmed as your chosen language. Further confirmation is no longer required. The Common language, in both spoken and written forms, will be translated into English once you unlock the Basic Speech Skill. Please select your race?

Oh man. This voice was ringing in my head. It was machine-like, but also slightly feminine. Smooth and punctual, the voice reminded me of a dentist's waiting room. Seriously, where the hell am I?

Error. Silence is not an optional race. Select race?

I’m guessing it’s some kind of Artificial Intelligence. An impatient one. An Impatient Artificial Intelligence. AIAI.

“Shut up, AIAI!”

Request denied. Select race?

“Where am I?”

Permission denied. Select race?

Fine. It wanted to know my race. That was pretty weird. Why was that the first thing it asked? Come to think of it, what is my race?

Shit! I don’t know who I am? And it took me that long to realise it? Well, at least I know I’m an idiot.

“Umm, who am I?” I asked without much hope.

Correct. That is the purpose of this selection. Further confirmation is not required and only serves to delay progress. Please choose your race so we can continue…

AIAI was kind of a bitch.

“I’d love to answer your questions, AIAI, but I have no idea who I am.”

Stolen story; please report.

Prior knowledge is not available to you, nor is it required at this time. Select a race or a race will be selected for you.

“How the fuck am I supposed to select a race when I don’t know who I am?”

You get to choose.

Huh… that’s… a weird way of looking at it. “What are my options?”

At your current level, you have access to all Standard Common races and Mundane Creature Races.

My current level? Wait, Standard Common? Mundane Creature? That sounded like game speak.

“What are the Standard Common races?”

Listing Standard Common Races: Dwarf, Elf, Gnome, Goblin, Human, & Orc.

Well, I might have guessed. “Human.”

Confirmed. Finally. You have selected race: Human. Select sex?

“I’m male. I’m definitely male.” I didn't know who I was, but I knew that. It was weird that I wasn't more concerned that I had no idea who the fuck I am… that seems like the kind of thing that’s worth panicking over.

Typical. Sex Confirmed. Select class?

“I think you know what I’m going to ask.”

Prediction: You will ask me to list class options.

“Good guess.”

Congratulations, you are predictable. Listing class options available at your current level: NULL.

“NULL?” What the hell?

Confirmed. You have selected NULL.

“Wait, what level am I?”

You are Level ZERO. Expanded Class and Race options will unlock at higher levels.

“Why did you even offer me a choice then?”

The Initiation Zone selection process is predetermined. Select name? To avoid error, please provide the clarifying statement “My name is:” before declaring your name.

“If I don’t know who I am, how the hell am I supposed to know what my name is?”

I could tell I was getting frustrated, but it was strange, my pulse wasn’t rising, I didn’t feel warmer and my breathing hadn’t changed. Come to think of it… am I even breathing? I tried to look at my body, but I couldn’t seem to find it. Which way is up?

Clarifying statement registered, however no further syllables have been recorded. Your name is NULL.

“I didn’t say the clarifying statement!”

Yes, you did. Repeat: “If I don’t know who I am, how the hell am I supposed to know what my name is?”

Shit. “I want to change my name.”

Alter Name Potions are available from Meta Vendors in major towns and settlements. Thank you for completing the Initiation Zone. NULL instantiation begins now.

“Wait!”

Request denied. Goodbye, NULL.

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