CHAPTER 9

I followed Effie through the trees, my rusty sword clutched tightly in my sweaty palm. The forest opened up into a small clearing. In the center stood a gelatinous blob about the size of a basketball, quivering slightly.

"What the hell is that?" I asked, eyeing the creature warily.

Effie's wings buzzed with excitement. "That, my dear Stanley, is your first opponent. A harmless little Slime!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Harmless? It looks like sentient Jell-O."

"Exactly! Perfect for beginners. Now, go on. Give it a whack!"

Steadying myself, I approached the Slime. It jiggled innocently, a pair of comically large eyes materializing on its surface to blink up at me. I almost felt bad for what I was about to do.

Almost.

I raised the sword, channeling my inner hero. "Alright, you gelatinous fiend. Prepare to be un-jellied!"

Effie snorted. "Maybe work on your battle cries later. For now, just hit it!"

I swung the sword in a wide arc, aiming for the center of the Slime. The blade connected with a satisfying 'splat'... and then shattered into a dozen rusty pieces.

[Weapon Durability: 0%]

[Rusty Sword has been destroyed]

"What the-" I stared at the useless hilt in my hand, then at the completely unharmed Slime. "Effie! You didn't tell me weapons could break!"

The fairy shrugged. "Durability isn't always a thing in Arcadia. But come on, did you really expect to use that rusty old sword forever?"

"I don't know, maybe?" I threw my hands up in exasperation. "A little warning would've been nice!"

"Where's the fun in that?" Effie said. "Besides, this is a valuable lesson. Always check your gear before-"

A sharp pain in my ankle cut off her lecture. I looked down to see the Slime, which had inched its way over during our argument, latched onto my leg.

"Ow! Fuck!" I yelped, trying to shake the creature off. "You didn't tell me these little fuckers could bite!"

[Health -5]

[Status Effect: Minor Slime Burn]

"Language, Stanley! And stop flailing, you'll only make it angry!"

"It's a sentient pudding! How do I make it un-angry?" I hobbled around the clearing, the Slime still stubbornly attached to my ankle.

"You need a weapon!" Effie shouted. "Quick, find something to hit it with!"

I scanned the area, desperation mounting as the Slime's acidic body started to eat through my sock. My eyes landed on a fallen tree branch.

"That'll do!" I lunged for the stick, nearly face-planting in my haste. Gripping it like a baseball bat, I turned to face my gooey nemesis.

The Slime had detached itself, leaving an angry red welt on my ankle. It quivered menacingly - if such a thing was possible for a blob of goo.

"Alright, you walking mochi," I growled, brandishing my improvised weapon. "Round two!"

I swung the branch, connecting solidly with the Slime's body. It squished satisfyingly, deforming around the impact before bouncing back to its original shape.

[Attack successful!]

[Slime HP: 90%]

[Skill: Improvised Weaponry +1]

"Ha!" I crowed, emboldened by my small victory. "Take that, you overgrown amoeba!"

The Slime's eyes narrowed - a feat I wouldn't have thought possible for a creature without eyelids. It launched itself at me with surprising speed.

"Whoa!" I stumbled backward, wildly swinging my stick. The branch connected, sending the Slime flying into a nearby tree with a wet 'splat'.

[Critical hit!]

[Slime HP: 70%]

Effie cheered from the sidelines. "Nice one, Stanley! You're a natural!"

"Thanks," I panted, keeping my eyes on the Slime. "Any other tips?"

"Try to anticipate its movements," Effie advised. "Slimes are predictable if you pay attention."

I nodded, watching as the creature gathered itself for another lunge. This time, I was ready. I sidestepped at the last second, bringing my makeshift weapon down on the Slime as it sailed past.

[Attack successful!]

[Slime HP: 50%]

[Skill: Dodge +1]

The battle continued, a ridiculous dance of man versus goo. I stumbled and flailed, my attacks more luck than skill. But slowly, surely, the Slime's health bar dwindled.

Finally, with one last mighty swing, I connected solidly with the creature's core. It exploded in a shower of shimmering particles, leaving behind two small vials.

[Victory!]

[XP gained: 50]

[Loot acquired: 2 Unknown Potions]

I collapsed to the ground, panting heavily. My clothes were covered in slime residue, my ankle throbbed, and I was pretty sure I had jelly in places jelly should never be. But I'd won.

"Congratulations, Stanley!" Effie zipped over, her glow even brighter than usual. "You've slain your first monster!"

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"Slain is a bit dramatic," I wheezed. "More like 'awkwardly bludgeoned to death with a stick'. But thanks."

Effie giggled. "Hey, a win's a win. And look, you got loot!"

I eyed the two vials left behind by the Slime. One contained a sickly green liquid that seemed to writhe in the bottle. The other sparkled with an inviting blue glow.

"What are these?" I asked, picking them up gingerly.

Effie peered at the vials, her oversized glasses magnifying her already huge eyes. "Hmm... Well, one's definitely poisonous. The other looks like it might increase intelligence."

I stared at her. "And how exactly am I supposed to know which is which?"

The fairy shrugged. "That's part of the fun! You could always taste-test them."

"Hard pass," I said, carefully tucking the vials into my inventory. "I think I'll save these for when I have a way to identify them that doesn't involve potential death."

Effie pouted. "You're no fun. But fine, probably a wise choice for a beginner."

I struggled to my feet, wincing as my various aches and pains made themselves known. "So, what's next? Please tell me it involves a healing potion and a nap."

"Oh, we're just getting started!" Effie's eyes gleamed with an enthusiasm that filled me with dread. "Now that you've got some combat experience, we can move on to the real challenges!"

I groaned, looking longingly back towards Millhaven. "You know, I'm starting to miss my old job at Zap's. At least the worst thing that could happen there was an angry customer. They didn't bite. Usually."

Effie zipped around me, her trail of sparkles forming a glittering halo. "Come on, Stanley! Where's your sense of adventure? This is just the beginning!"

As she darted off deeper into the forest, no doubt towards some new and terrifying experience, I couldn't help but wonder what I'd gotten myself into. But despite the aches, the fear, and the lingering smell of Slime, I felt a spark of excitement.

This was my new reality. And for better or worse, I was going to make the most of it.

"Alright, Stanley, time for Inventory Management 101!" Effie's wings buzzed with excitement. "Just think about opening your inventory. Visualize it!"

I closed my eyes, feeling ridiculous. But as I concentrated, a faint chime sounded, and I felt a strange tingle in my fingertips.

"Now open your eyes, slowly," Effie instructed.

I did, and gasped. A translucent screen hovered before me, filled with neat rows of icons. Some I recognized - the vials from the Slime, my broken sword hilt. Others were unfamiliar.

"Pretty nifty, huh?" Effie grinned. "This is your personal pocket dimension. Think of it as a magical backpack."

"How do I actually use it?"

"Two ways," Effie explained. "You can physically grab an item-" She demonstrated, her tiny hand plucking a small red berry from the screen. It materialized in her palm. "Or you can focus on the item and will it into existence."

I concentrated on another small red berry. To my amazement, it appeared in my hand with a soft 'pop'.

"Holy shit," I muttered, turning the berry over. It felt real, solid.

"Language!" Effie chided, but she was smiling. "Now, let's see what else you've got in there."

We went through the items one by one. The Achievement Hunter's Guidebook, a handful of Shimmerfruits, some basic crafting materials, and...

"Is that a toaster?" I asked incredulously, pointing to a familiar-looking appliance icon.

Effie squinted. "Huh. Must be a glitch from your transition. Or maybe Arcadia has a sense of humor."

I shook my head, wondering if I'd ever get used to this place.

"Now, your inventory space is limited," Effie continued. "See that bar at the bottom? That's your capacity. But don't worry, you'll find ways to expand it as you progress."

"How?" I asked, already eyeing the nearly full bar with concern.

Effie's eyes twinkled. "Oh, there are ways. Quests, rare items, even some skills can increase your inventory size. It's all part of the adventure!"

I nodded, trying to take it all in. "Okay, so what now?"

"Practice!" Effie clapped her tiny hands. "I want you to take out three items and put them back. Mix it up - use both methods."

I focused on the Shimmerfruit, willing it into existence. The glossy purple fruit appeared in my palm, its sweet scent filling the air. Next, I physically reached for the broken sword hilt, feeling a strange resistance as my hand passed through the screen. Finally, I concentrated on one of the unknown vials, watching it materialize with a soft 'plink'.

"Good!" Effie nodded approvingly. "Now put them back."

I reversed the process, finding it easier each time. The items dissolved back into the inventory with small flashes of light.

"You're a natural!" Effie beamed. "Just remember, practice makes perfect. And be careful what you pull out in public. Nothing ruins a dramatic moment like accidentally summoning a toaster instead of your weapon."

I chuckled, imagining the scenario. "Thanks for the tip. So, what's next on the tutorial-"

A wet, squelching sound interrupted me. My head snapped up, eyes widening as I spotted another gelatinous blob oozing its way into the clearing.

"Effie," I hissed, jabbing a finger towards the approaching Slime. "We've got company."

The fairy glanced over her shoulder, then waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, that? Don't worry about it. Let's focus on your inventory management."

I gaped at her. "Are you kidding me? Last time I ignored one of those things, it tried to dissolve my ankle!"

"It's low-level," Effie insisted. "It probably won't even aggro on us if we don't engage."

The Slime quivered, a pair of beady eyes forming on its surface. They locked onto me with unsettling intensity.

"Yeah, no," I said, reaching for my makeshift weapon. "I'm not taking any chances."

Effie zipped in front of me, her tiny form barely blocking my view of the approaching monster. "Stanley, wait! Using that stick will take forever. We need to work smarter, not harder."

I lowered the branch, eyeing her suspiciously. "What did you have in mind?"

"The potion," Effie said, her eyes gleaming behind her oversized glasses. "Take it out of your inventory."

I blinked. "The potion? You mean one of those mystery vials from the last Slime? The ones you couldn't even identify?"

Effie nodded eagerly. "Exactly!"

"Are you out of your mind?" I sputtered. "One of those could be poison!"

The Slime inched closer, its body undulating in a way that turned my stomach. Effie's wings buzzed impatiently.

"Not to drink it, knucklehead. To throw at the bad guy!"

I hesitated, my eyes darting between Effie, the approaching Slime, and my inventory screen. "I don't know..."

"Trust me," Effie said, her voice softening. "I wouldn't steer you wrong, Stanley. You're my charge, remember?"

The Slime was barely ten feet away now, its body tensing in preparation for a lunge. I took a deep breath, steeling myself.

"Alright," I muttered. "But if this kills me, I'm haunting you for eternity."

I focused on the vial icon, willing it into existence. The small bottle materialized in my hand, its contents glowing an eerie blue. The Slime chose that moment to attack, launching itself towards my face with surprising speed. Pure instinct took over. I yelped, hurling the vial directly at the airborne blob.

The vial shattered against the Slime's gelatinous body with a tinkling crash. Blue liquid splashed across its surface, seeping into the creature's translucent form. For a moment, nothing happened. The Slime sat still, its beady eyes blinking in what could only be described as confusion.

My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for something. Anything.

"Uh, Effie?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the creature. "Why isn't anything happening?"

Effie zipped closer, her tiny face scrunched in concentration. "Hold on, give it a second. These things can take time to-"

"Time?" I hissed. "That thing was about to make me its lunch! We don't have time!"

The fairy's glow dimmed slightly. "Wait a minute. Stanley, which potion did you throw?"

I blinked, tearing my gaze away from the Slime to look at her. "The blue one. You know, the one that was glowing all invitingly?"

Effie's wings stopped buzzing for a split second, and she dropped an inch in the air before catching herself. Her oversized glasses magnified the look of utter disbelief in her eyes.

"The blue one?" she screeched, her melodious voice hitting a pitch I didn't think possible. "Why the hell would you think the blue one was the one I wanted you to throw? Not the gurgling green acid-looking one?"

My face flushed hot with embarrassment. "Because I don't know what the hell I'm doing in this world, Effie!" I shouted back, my voice echoing through the clearing. "And you're not exactly helping! 'Throw the potion,' you said. Well, there were two potions, and one looked a hell of a lot less likely to melt my hand off!"

"It's common sense!" Effie retorted, her tiny hands balling into fists. "You throw the dangerous-looking one at the monster, not the pretty glowing one!"

"Common sense?" I sputtered. "Nothing about this place makes sense! For all I know, that green stuff could've made the Slime grow ten times its size!"

Our argument escalated, voices rising as we traded increasingly ridiculous insults. I was just about to make a particularly scathing comment about Effie's fashion sense when a small, timid voice cut through our bickering.

"Um, excuse me?"