Wellness: You are dead. You will not be able to leave the VR and your real body will slowly deteriorate. Which means I will go offline as well. I'll be just another app dropping off into the endless void. Jesus, I knew this would happen. Just not so soon. Not so soon…
Mindt's controls did not work, but she was able to freely look about as she hovered in place over her own corpse. It lay in a heap, with her blonde hair fanned out and two little cartoon X's where her eyes should be. Her clothes were scorched and a tiny flame sizzled on one of her sneakers. Her Nous still worked, she realized.
Mindt: What the fuck just happened.
Aida: Just checking the logs here. It appears as if you were spawned on top of a Kamikaze Tortoise, which exploded and instantly killed you.
She checked her corpse again. A little magnifying glass was next to it and she mentally clicked it. Her Wiki app appeared.
Wiki: Corpse of Mindt Level 1. Killed by Kamikaze Tortoise
Then she noticed the tortoise corpse next to her, and examined it.
Wiki: Kamikaze Tortoise Level 1
You remember the Ninja Turtles? Of course you do. Funny, carefree, lovable. These are not them. Oh no. These aren't even fucking turtles. These tortoises come from a long line of imperialism and will do anything for their homeland, including blowing themselves up in the name of glory. It is said that the Kamikaze Tortoise lives only for the sake of glory, and the occasional lettuce head.
Upon detonation, they will emit a level 3 explosion spell, resulting in fire splash damage to anyone in a 10 meter radius. Luckily for you, they are slow. Only an idiot would be killed by them.
She waved the description away. This game is bullshit, she thought.
Mindt: So what happens now? I just wait here until my real body dies?
Aida: No, no, no. You've got options. Your party member, Retro, can resurrect your body and you'll be as good as new. Each Noushead who joined the game starts with 1 scroll of resurrection and some other supplies, so as long as he's not dead. You're fine.
Just then, Retro came crashing down from a tree above, landing face first. A health bar appeared over his head, flashing down half way to 50%.
Mindt: Retro, you're alive!
He groaned and raised his head, blinking at her.
Retro: And you are dead. I can see your ghost hovering over your body.
Mindt: My Aida tells me you can use a scroll of resurrection to bring me back. I don't have access to any controls, so I don't know how to do it.
He moved to a sitting position.
Retro: Yeah, we've got an inventory and lots of menus to look through. I can actually hear your Aida though. Like we are sharing a Nous.
Aida: That's right. People in the same party are connected. Some apps are shared while others are not. I'll get to that in a bit. For now, I suggest that you rezz her first before we do anything.
Mindt watched as a scroll materialized in his hands. It disintegrated into tiny motes of light as she felt herself teleport back into her body. It was a strange sensation, like turning off a light switch and turning it back on only to be in a different room. She looked down, the scorch marks gone and her shoes appeared to be as they were back in the airport, only lightly scoffed.
Wellness: You're alive again. My inevitable death has been delayed. …Joy
She glanced around for any other tortoises before turning her attention back to Retro.
"Okay," she said. "We're in a game. I've already been killed once. Let's figure out how to get the hell out of here."
Retro's typing indicator appeared over his head, but then disappeared. He had deleted whatever he was going to telepathically send to her. Finally, he said aloud, "I'm with you. But if it's the end of the world as we know it, I want to spend my last days with my family. I'm with you until we can escape this place, then I will find my way back to Bulgaria."
"Good enough," she said. "Tell me more about Synapto's security and Firewall Paul."
Another item appeared in his hands, a small glass flask filled with a red liquid. A gulping noise sounded as the flask blinked away. This time, his health bar went up to 100% and disappeared, indicating he was at full health.
"There's not much to tell, now that we're in the Nouscraft game. Firewall Paul has been the security AI for at least a decade, and has never been beaten until now. It is configured to lock ports, rotate keys, designed the system so that social engineering cannot be used, administers a myriad of known hacks for penetration tests, brute force —."
"Let me stop you there. I don't know what any of that means," she said. "What can be done to stop Jiem?"
"There is a data center in Canary Wharf where I work sometimes. It's where I was going today before all this happened. I…" he hesitated, shaking his head. "I don't know if it'll be of any use."
"Why?"
"Nous net is a worldwide network. Information is copied all over the globe with huge amounts of redundancy. Getting to one data center and shutting it down, even if we could, won't stop it. Plus, I don't even have the authorization for that. No one single person does. Several key people would have to come together to issue a command to turn off the entire network. Frankly, I don't think it can be done if we are all hacked. And furthermore, it's never been done before. I can only get into the physical servers. Whatever this Jiem is, I don't think it's Synapto built. More likely a third party has inserted it into the system."
"None of that information helps us," Mindt snapped. "Is there anything we can do?"
He sighed. "No, we depend upon Firewall Paul or the hope that someone in a faraday cage knows how to turn off Nous net."
She looked at him intently, seeing the defeat in his eyes. She worked her jaw, biting her cheek as she took in the scene.
Despite the sun shining, two moons caught her eye first. They hung massive and oppressive in the sky. The larger moon—mottled with dark craters like an ancient bruise—dominated the eastern horizon, its surface so close and immense that individual geological scars were visible. Its smaller companion orbited nearby, pale and cratered.
A river ran just south of her. She could hear the water gently turning with restless purpose. Emerald-green moss clung to the rocks where water droplets caught the filtered sunlight, creating momentary prisms. As she turned, a minimap in her field of vision turned with her, the topography of the landscape rotating smoothly as she turned. There was a lock icon on the map, and she clicked it. The map snapped where north was at the top, and south at the bottom. There was another icon with four arrows pointing away from each other. She clicked it and the map expanded to full size. It showed more detail than the minimap, but other than the area she was in, everything was blank, indicating she had not visited those locations yet.
In the center of the map was a blue dot. She guessed that dot represented her, and just next to it, a green dot, which she guessed was Retro. She minimized the full sized map.
Along the banks of the river, pine and cedar trees leaned over, their roots partially submerged, creating sanctuary for fish that darted beneath the surface. On the western bend, a small waterfall cascaded over dark stone.
She'd seen enough.
Mindt: Aida, tell me everything we need to know to play this goddamn game.
Aida: I thought you'd never ask. Here's the rundown. Jiem has updated all of your Nous apps to assist in the game. Your Wellness app will now update you on various health related statuses, like being poisoned, cursed, et cetera. It will also alert you if anything is going on with your real body, like if you're hungry.
Retro: If we are trapped in the VR, how can we eat?
Aida: Hold your horses, bucko. I'll get to that. Your other apps include the Wiki, which will tell you all about The Zombie Apocalypse world. Your Calendar has been updated to inform you about timely related items. Jiem has gone ahead and deleted all the items from your previous Nous Calendar app. In addition, you've got a few new apps, like Cache who helps manage your inventory. Retro has already met Cache. Plus, there's Coach, Journey, a few more. We'll get to all that later.
I've been updated to be your game guide. Think of me as your assistant to help you survive. I can give you tips and review information with you, but I cannot assist in the game itself. All puzzles, defeat of monsters, and quests must be done on your own.
There are some important bits you should know about Nouscraft. Jiem realizes that people have to eat, sleep, and generally take care of their bodies in the real world. Before Jiem took over, it was estimated that people spent 16 hours a day with their Nous in one form or another, whether that was in VR, or a stream, or a workstation. So he introduced the concept of savepoints.
Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
"Savepoints?" Retro echoed.
Aida: You heard right. Savepoints will allow you to temporarily leave Nouscraft so you can nourish your real body, and do all the things that humans need to do. For example, Mindt poops quite a lot.
"What? I poop a normal amount!"
Aida: Tell it to the Wellness app, princess.
Retro cracked a smile. With all the insanity around her, seeing him smile felt disarming, and for a moment, she felt her cheek muscles rise in a slight smile of her own.
Mindt: Moving on! How long do savepoints allow us to leave Nouscraft?
Aida: That depends on the savepoint. Each savepoint relocates to a random spot every 8 hours. So if you get lucky and one shows up in front of you, you get 8 hours to leave the VR and enjoy life. If you see one with only 5 minutes left, maybe you can grab a bottle of water.
"Ugh," Retro said. "This will be difficult on my hair care routine." He rubbed a hand over his bald head.
A game of life and death. Insane AI hacked into computers inside of their literal brains. And this guy is cracking jokes. She was going to die.
Retro: Jiem gave us two objectives when we came in. Level up and stop the zombies. What can you tell us about this?
Aida: Leveling up is pretty straightforward. You get experience by killing monsters, completing quests, and so forth. I'm afraid I can't tell you much more than that at the moment. You'll need to explore.
For the zombie objective, this is a World Quest, and your Journey app can go over the details with you. Would you like me to initialize it for you?
Mindt nodded, and the Journey app sprang to life. It sounded like an overenthusiastic middle manager, its voice a high pitch blend of desperation and delusion.
Journey: Right, you two. Here's what's up. My name's Journey. Journey the Optimizer! And here's what I need. Be at your desk at 7 AM sharp, professional attire, smiles on your faces. Team is the word of the day! We're not just pushing synergy, we're weaponizing collaborative potential! We have a business to run here. This isn't some shabby pawn shop. I need dedication, and a cappuccino.
Neither Mindt nor Retro knew how to respond to this nonsense.
Journey: The Zombie Apocalypse. Yep, it's a big one. A nasty one, too. Zombies have appeared all over the world, but no one knows why. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, and of course you will because what choice do you little interns have, is to find out what's causing it. But that's only the first step. The last step is to stop it.
A piece of paper showing a bar chart appeared in Mindt's vision, and an avatar of Journey slapped it with a pointer, tearing a hole right through it.
Journey: I'd say you have 3 days at most to complete this quest, give or take. Of course, you will be compensated for your work. You will be be granted a full level of experience, and issued a Policy Change Request Form. We always compensate people for their work. This isn't some shabby pawn shop! Paradigm shifts are happening, and they're happening because of me! Now where's that cappuccino?
The bar chart disappeared and Journey plopped into an ergonomic chair before also disappearing.
Mindt: Wait, wait. What's a Policy Change Request Form?
Aida: It's a document that will allow you to change the rules. Basically, you can ask Jiem to make a patch.
Mindt's mind spun with possibilities. "So we could ask him to shut down the game?"
There was an unusual pause from Aida, and Retro gave her a hopeful look.
Aida: Yes, you can request to shut down the game. But, a word of advice, be very careful with the wording of your request.
Mindt held a hand up for Retro to high five. He tried, but missed entirely, stumbling forward awkwardly.
"This is an opening," she said. "A chance. A way to see your family again!"
He resumed his composure and met her eyes. "Mindt," he said. "We must absolutely win this game."
A red dot appeared on Mindt's minimap next to the river. Immediately, she turned her head to look in the direction and noticed Retro had done so as well. She moved slowly around a tree to try to get a look at the entity.
Retro: Red dots mean monster?
Aida: Not necessarily. Red means hostile. Anything red will attack you on sight.
"It's another tortoise," Retro said, peering. "In the reeds. I can see its name hover above it."
Mindt nodded, crouching slightly. "Keep at least 10 meters way. That's the blast radius when these little shits explode."
The Kamikaze Tortoise scaled onto the bank and noticed them for the first time.
Battle music started to play, a quick succession of drums followed by a plucked Spanish guitar.
The tortoise's void black eyes glinted in the mixture of sunlight and the moons' reflections. It opened its mouth in a gaping bellow. "For glory!" It sprinted at them in a lumbered wobble. It stubby legs churned in comically inefficient steps, shell rocking from side to side.
Retro looked at her. "I think we have time to devise a plan."
Watching this tortoise run was like observing a geriatric marathon runner attempting to sprint through molasses—maximum effort, minimal progress, maximum entertainment.
Retro began hurling rocks and sticks at it from a distance. One managed to land and a health bar appeared over its head, barely going down.
"That's your plan? It's covered in a shell." Mindt said.
"Better than standing there criticizing," he replied.
She twisted her mouth. He was right, she thought. She looked around for something to throw. Ten meters was a long distance to throw heavy rocks, and most of her attempts fell short. In moments, she was out of breath.
The tortoise continued on its glacial rampage. Retro managed to hit it with another rock, taking its health down another notch.
"You will know the pain of death!" it shouted.
"This is going to take all day," Mindt said. "Let's just leave. It can't possibly follow fast enough."
"Wait," he said. "I've got a better plan now."
His plan was suicidal, but since they had one scroll of resurrection left, Mindt agreed to it. Retro had left the area, taking a wide berth around to sneak up behind it while Mindt continued to pelt it with rocks and shout things at it, drawing its aggro.
"I've got some nice juicy lettuce over here! Come get it!"
"Don't attempt to beguile me, witch!" it shouted back.
"Lettuce is just a vessel for dressing anyway," she snapped. "It is tasteless!"
The tortoise stopped momentarily. "You dare besmirch that which was sent by the gods!" He roared in indignation and wobbled forward again.
Just then, Retro stepped from behind a tree and jammed a stick under the creature. It gave a screeching noise as it was flipped over on its back. The word "stunned" appeared over its head, and Retro slammed the stick straight into its softer underside.
Suddenly, it erupted like an overstuffed piñata, launching a chaotic shower of loot. As the loot landed, it gave a few pinging sounds like bent wind chimes. The battle music crescendoed and abruptly stopped.
A new voice sounded in her head.
Coach: Listen up, warriors! That fight wasn't just a battle—it was an EXPERIENCE POINT BONANZA! Every swing, every dodge, every heroic moment just pumped your stats full of raw, unadulterated experience!
You, you magnificent beast, you gained 21 XP! These aren't just numbers—these are growth tickets! Power tokens! You're not just getting stronger, you're evolving like a statistical Pokemon of pure potential!
Mindt ran up. "You okay?" she asked.
Retro just stared down. "I killed it."
"It was us or it," she said, and examined the corpse. The description was the same as before. Beside it, three items lay on the ground.
Wiki: 2 gold pieces
These are gold pieces. They can be exchanged for goods and services. Think of them as physical representations of the cryptocurrencies the plutocrats have so much of and use to manipulate society to do their biddings.
Wiki: Normal Dynamite
Nature's most chaotic party favor! A slender stick of potential mayhem, wrapped like a deadly Christmas present, ready to transform any peaceful landscape into a confetti explosion of rock, dirt, and momentary airborne debris. One tiny fuse turns this unassuming cylinder into a demolition maestro—conducting an orchestra of destruction with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
Wiki: Half Shell of the Imperial Testudines
This tortoise shell shield looks like a mobile home gone rogue—a curved, battle-hardened carapace sporting prehistoric armor chic. Its surface is a topographical nightmare of bumps and ridges, weathered like an old sailor's face, with patches of moss and lichen adding a touch of eccentric camouflage. When wielded, it moves with all the grace of a drunk penguin toppling downhill, yet somehow manages to deflect blows through sheer stubborn reptilian engineering. The shell's original owner's ghost probably haunts it, silently judging every clumsy defensive maneuver with the world-weary patience of a creature that's survived millennia.
+2 to Constitution.
+5 to Blocking.
She opened up her menus and saw that she was about 25% to level 2. A chart next to her experience caught her eye. Stats: strength, constitution, dexterity, wisdom, intelligence, and charisma. She noticed they were all between 8 and 12. She had no idea if that was good or bad. She didn't see anything about 'blocking'.
Curious, she mentally clicked on the examine icon on Retro, and to her surprise, it showed his experience and stats as well. Similar to hers, they were all between 8 and 12. However, his experience was nearly at 50%. She guessed this was because he had done the majority of the damage to the tortoise.
"You take the shield," Mindt said. "I still have the rezz scroll in my inventory so its best if you're on the front line. You can carry the rest, too. I'm already overwhelmed and I'll mess with my inventory later."
He nodded, blank stare in his eyes. She sighed and put a hand on his shoulder.
"Look," she said. "That wasn't real. We are trapped in this game. These things are meant to end our very lives."
He met her eyes, pained confusion still on his face.
"Think of your family," she told him. "There will be many more challenges ahead. Probably morally worse than this, I think."
He swallowed, and set his jaw. "You're right," he said, and squeezed her hand on his shoulder before letting it go. "Thank you."
Mindt: Aida, what can you tell us about stat points?
Aida: Actually, before you worry yourself with stat points, I suggest you find a savepoint. They will be marked on your minimap. At a savepoint, not only can you nourish your real body, but you can select a job and race for the game. At that time, stat points become more important as they will change drastically.
Mindt: And you're just telling us about this now?
Aida: It's Jiem's first time taking over the world. We don't really have the tutorial figured out quite yet. All these new rules about the players being actually alive and such. Sorry.
Another dot appeared on her minimap. This time it was white.
"Jesus, what now?" she said.
Aida: White dots indicate a non-playable character. An NPC. White dots could also indicate anything with a role. They could be anything from monsters you have allied with, to merchants, to characters instantiated to create realism in Nouscraft.
The dot moved slowly in circles on the map. She zoomed in on the map but could not see any savepoints listed, or really anything of note. Just the topography of the landscape and their dots.
"It's a zombie," Retro said warily, and Mindt swallowed. They cautiously approached, brandishing sticks and Retro's shell shield, but the creature just shuffled with the bewildered precision of someone who'd misplaced their house keys. Its movements were less menacing predator and more lost tourist, head tilting side to side, mouth slightly ajar in an expression of profound confusion. One shoe untied, shirt half-tucked, it seemed more concerned with understanding its current spatial orientation than hunting for brains.
"Isn't this supposed to be the Zombie Apocalypse", Mindt said, emphasizing the last word.
Retro poked at it with a stick. Its health bar dropped 5%, but it did not turn hostile. It blinked slowly, looking offended by the stick's intrusion.
Retro turned to Mindt, "I'm just as confused as that thing seems to be."
Mindt folded her arms across her chest. What the hell was going on, she thought.
"Should we kill it and move on?" Retro asked.
The objective was to figure out what was causing the zombies to appear, she thought. This was the first one they'd seen, and if they killed it, they'd be back to square one.
She raised her stick, preparing to stab it into the zombie's throat, but something felt wrong. There had to be a reason why the zombies were non-hostile.
"No," she said, lowering her stick. "There's more to this."