"I had no idea I was partnering with a murderer," Retro said as they walked towards the city of Equinox.

She let out an, "ugh," rolling her eyes. "Not this again."

"That miller was a thinking part of the AI, non hostile NPC. White dot. He was just doing what he thought would save his mill."

She cocked her head to the side as she peered at him. "It was a computer program. He tried to get us killed by calling over those goblins. White dot, but still red dot intentions. C'mon."

"But we had the situation handled. The goblins were dead."

"Once he repaired the mill, he would have done it again to some other Nousheads. Plus, he dropped this ring."

Wiki: Ring of Wet Socks

Ah, pre-piss, the foundation of life. Did you know that water is one of the most interesting, and crucial substances, in existence?

First up, we have water's identity crisis when it freezes. Unlike most sensible substances that become denser when solid, water says "Fuck you, I'm expanding." This rebellious behavior is why ice cubes float in your drink instead of lurking at the bottom like some aquatic ninja. It's also why fish don't end up in a frozen block at the bottom of lakes during winter.

Water is wet? Pfft. Nah bitch, water is sticky. Its surface tension is so strong it can hold together in drops that defy gravity. This is basically water's version of group hugs, and it's why spiders can skate across ponds and trees can grow so tall.

Because human bodies are mostly water, it moderates how quickly our temperature can rise or fall because of its ridiculously high heat capacity. Same effect occurs in coastal cities.

Oh, I could go on and on.

Universe's most enthusiastic mixer? H2 "dissolves anything" O.

Don't really wanna conduct electricity unless you're feeling salty? Thanks, water.

Need something to drink, shield you from radiation, and become fuel for your space rockets? Just ask water.

Put that in your Dixie cup and sip it.

Grants the following effects:

Every time the wearer enters a kitchen, their socks will become wet.

Oops I Dripped It Again - Create a puddle of water 10m in diameter.

The first thing that came to Mindt's mind when she put on the ring was to cast Ice Shield while standing in the water, and sure enough, the puddle froze around her shoes. Unfortunately, she became stuck in the frozen puddle and spend the next 20 minutes chipping herself to freedom. She'd have to work on that.

"Maybe you're right," Retro said, lowering his head in thought, the sun and the moons casting a momentary blinding reflection off his bald head. "But that's not the way things would turn out in a story. There would be some nice ending, filled with lessons, and everyone goes on with their happy lives."

She raised a finger in the air.

"First off, there are no happy endings."

Aida: That's what she sa —

"Shut it, Aida," she said, raising a second finger in the air, "And second, this isn't some story."

Aida: This is Nouscraft: The Zombie Apocalypse. It's literally a story.

"Aida, if you don't shu —" she trailed off. Her jaw dropped in a stupor as she crested the hill and saw the city of Equinox in the distance. Great spires led down into a vast city unfolding before her - a masterwork of stone and metal embracing the river's bend. Massive granite walls, weathered by centuries, encircled the city in three concentric rings. Each wall rose higher than the last, crowned with watch posts and ballistae.

Spires of varying heights and styles pierced the sky - some delicate crystal needles catching the light, others robust towers of dark stone wrapped in spiraling staircases.

From the distance, it reminded Mindt of an elaborate wedding cake.

The river split around the city, creating a moat. Along the widest part of the river which must have stretched several kilometers, wooden quays extended like fingers into the water, ships bobbing between them. She spotted contraptions to raise iron chains from underwater bastions to seal the harbor in times of danger. On the other narrower sides, three roads of weathered brick splintered out of the city like cracks in a mirror. All three emerged from what looked to be draw bridges, currently drawn to a close.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

As impressive as the city itself was, the most striking feature were the zombies.

A sea of them massed around the city walls like a grey carpet. There had to be hundreds of thousands of them. Millions of them. Some sat in circles, others wandered aimlessly around the edges of the crowd, but most just pressed against the moat of the city's outermost fortification.

Retro broke the silence. "How are we supposed to get past that? I know they're not hostile, but it looks like there are millions of them."

For once, she had nothing to say.

He continued, "I see some draw bridges. Maybe if we can make it through the horde of zombies, we can convince someone to lower the bridge and let us in. I can use my charisma."

Still overwhelmed by the sight, she just nodded, and they continued on their way.

As they approached, she could see on her minimap in the midst of the swarm white dots, several teal dots outside of the city walls right where one of the raised draw bridges would come down. It was impossible to see what the dots were even with her Wood Elf eyesight considering the zombies everywhere, but there was something other than zombies in that crowd.

Mindt: What's a teal dot mean?

Aida: Those are other Nousheads not in your party.

The zombies formed erratic patterns in their gathering - some appeared to be doing yoga, others tended to blades of grass as if it were a domesticated animal, a particularly dapper zombie in tattered noble clothes tipped his deteriorating hat to passersby.

Low pitched moans sounded in chorus in Mindt's ears. She could swear she heard one of the zombies speaking French somewhere in the crowd, but the annunciation was slow and drawn out. Turning her head to find the zombie, another bumped into her from behind, edging her forward towards Retro, who was busy parting the crowd. She didn't speak French. It was a language she did not particularly enjoy. Whenever someone chooses to speak French, it is for the sole reason to judge you.

An elbow hit her in the side, not hard, but with the crowd beginning to crush her, she put a hand on Retro's shoulder.

"Slow and steady," she said to him loud enough to be heard over the moans.

Twenty minutes later, they could go no further. Limbs and bodies blocked their path in every direction. Even egress felt impossible. Pressed between decaying bodies, musty clothes and withered flesh created a suffocating wall. Arms seemed to grab at her, forcing their way between her and Retro, over her shoulders, over her eyes. She felt a force, incredibly strong, begin to push her downwards.

This was a bad idea, she thought, and prepared to fire a Torpedo spell. She had no desire to kill these creatures. With her intuition and the vague information that Gus gave, she knew keeping them alive was in her best interest. But with the horde crushing her, she had no choice. She mentally chose a target close to her.

Just then, a purple rain began to fall, and the low pitched moans rose an octave. "Afraid" started to appear next to the zombie's names, and the weight of the crowd shifted. She grunted with effort to remain on her feet.

"Ack!" she said through gritted teeth, and felt herself start to tip.

A hand reached through and grabbed her stole, hoisting her upright. It was Retro's, his bald head glittering as the sunlight beamed through the drops of rain on his head.

Within a minute, the crowd loosened, casting a wide circle about 20 meters in diameter. She noticed that the rain only fell within this circle. Puzzled, she looked to Retro for an explanation, and that's when she saw her first Nousheads other than them in the game.

A towering figure stood in white and gold robes radiating energy, his intense eyes glowed with with a faint light. His close-cropped silver hair framed deep lines that creased on his weathered and hard face. A neatly trimmed salt-and-pepper beard covered a strong jaw. But then he smiled, and his stern face transformed into something grandfatherly. His username read "Sooner".

Next to him stood a woman, "Leonia", in her early forties with sharp, angular features and eyes like dark amethysts. High cheekbones casted shadows across her pale skin, and a web of faint purple veins traced her temples. Her raven hair, streaked with the tiniest white, was pulled back severely. A knowing smirk played at the corners of her mouth, as if she heard a private joke.

"You don't appear to be injured," said Sooner in English, each word measured and deliberate. He held out a hand for to shake.

"Just my pride," Mindt replied, shaking it. She gestured for Retro to do the same. "What was that rain spell?"

"It's a crowd control spell for enemy mobs," said Leonia, her London accent shining through an almost musical voice, like poetry. "This particular one causes fear for 3 minutes. We'd best make our way to the draw bridge before the spell wears off. The city guards lower the bridge once per hour."

Mindt examined the pair.

Wiki: Leonia. Human. Corpse Choreographer. Level 8.

Wiki: Sooner. Half-Elf. Life Cleric. Level 8.

The wiki didn't provide any more information other than that. Mindt guessed it was because they were not in their party. Considering her and Retro were only level 4, Mindt felt like a child next to them. They had clearly been playing the game well.

A few more Nousheads waited patiently as the bridge lowered. Some nodded in her direction, but no one seemed to be in a chatty mood.

Retro: We are the lowest level Nousheads here.

Mindt: I noticed.

Zombies moaned behind them as they got onto the bridge. A few zombies stumbled their way on after, but the guards shoved them back with dulled spears as another guard leaned down towards the final plank of the bridge. The plank disappeared into thin air, leaving the zombies on the other side of the moat. Curious, she could see the bridge was being held up by support beams than ran underside. She examined the guard.

Wiki: City Guard level 10. Rank: Watchman.

Armed with regulation spears they haven't quite figured out how to hold and an overeager dedication to saluting everything that moves, their handbook knowledge is impeccable, though practical application remains a work in progress. Commonly found getting directions from local cats or heroically guarding empty alleyways.

Caution: Making a city guard hostile will make all city guards hostile.

"Where did the plank go?" she asked the guard.

"In my inventory, o'course," the guard answered. "At first, we tried sprinting across the bridge after pushing the zombies back, but a few of them always managed to make it on the bridge and would get into the city. Or they'd fall to their deaths." He scratched his sweaty head under his oversized helmet. "Then, a Noushead figured out that the zombies don't have any capacity to jump, so now we just remove the final bridge plank."

"I see," she said, giving a final glance to the small chasm between the bridge and the land. "You were given orders not to kill the zombies?"

The guard nodded. "That's right. Lord Roland commanded it so."

"Lord Roland?"

"Lord Roland of House LaMonica. It's one of the oldest and greatest Houses in Equinox. He commands the city guard."

Behind her, the other Nousheads and Retro crossed under the gatehouse into the city.

"If you'll pardon my leave, I must be getting back to watch duty," the guard said.

She followed him into the city.