Author's Note
I rewrote this chapter hope it's better
As always reviews,ratings,Recommendations,Corrections,Questions and comments are greatly appreciated
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Chapter 1: Birth
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After your death you will be what you were before your birth.
—Arthur Schopenhauer
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He didn't remember waking up; he was just there in the dark void, unable to move let alone scream. He started panicking but he was nothing. Then he heard it
Ba-dump Ba-dump Ba-dump
This repetitive beat soothed him. Minutes turned into hours, Hours into days, days into weeks and months. He couldn't keep track of time though still he never grew hungry. After time passed he could move around in the viscous liquid. He was excited and tried to toss and turn until a soothing lullaby was sung to him. It came from outside but he knew it was directed at him.
He went back to sleep spending his days sleeping for countless days. Then when he we woke the void was pushing him. To where? He did not know. There was an opening through which light entered. He had his eyes closed and could not open them but he could see shadows and shapes.
A women’s scream then erupted near him. It scared him and he began to cry. He was scared was he truly going to hell? Had he been such a terrible being to not be accepted into paradise?
He went into the light and was blinded by the brightness. He heard voices speaking in English but with his crying he wasn't paying attention to them. He felt hands grab him and they started rubbing his body with a wet towel.
He was crying until he was passed into new arms that made him feel warm and safe. It helped when she begun to sing the same lullaby he had heard in the void. With the soothing voice of his mother He fell asleep.
It wasn't long until he woke up in hunger. Still now he truly realized his situation. His body was that of a baby. This entire time he wasn't in purgatory or hell but rather in his mother’s womb.
Still he was hungry and although he didn't want to bother his mother his body said otherwise. Waking up his mother with his crying she woke up and sighed. Picking him up she tried singing to him and rocking him back and forth. All of her attempts were in vain for love could not replace food.
“Oh you must be hungry,”
She took her breast out and offered it to the baby and without a moment’s hesitation he began to drink from his mother’s tit. He didn’t feel any shame or perverted thoughts. He was hungry and she was simply feeding him.
After he was done drinking his milk he fell asleep yet again.
His days were filled with that. No different than his days as a NEET except now he was a baby, so just eating, shitting and sleeping were acceptable now.
A few people came to his cradle a few days after his birth; His new family in this life.
How strange it was for him he didn't even think about his old family crying at his death. The faces of his loved ones faded from his mind becoming beings that he once knew but could not remember. Their names and faces fading, only knowledge stayed in his memories but he still remembered them somehow it made little sense to him so he ignored it and tucked it away in the back of his mind.
His mother picked him up from the cradle. She was no older than 30 with her curly blonde hair and green eyes.
His Mother introduced him to his Father. A thirty year old man with brown hair and blue eyes stepped into the nursery room.
“Hey little guy I’m your Dad, What’s his name Maddy?”
“Edin,”
“Hey Edin I’m glad you’re finally here,”
Edin smiled. He had never had a real father. His step father had been a great man but it wasn't the same love given by a father from birth.
Spending his days in the nursery room he got to meet his family besides his father and mother. There was his older brother junior who was named Thomas like their father. The seven year old junior only visited him once and simply stared at him and left.
His other step brother Herbert, who was five, visited him quite often. Still there was only so few games a five year old could play with a newly born.
His mother was patting him on the back so he could burp when he saw Herbert enter the nursery together with another girl. The girl had brown hair, brown eyes nothing special. Except for her dog ears and tail which Edin found more than intriguing.
With his hands he reached for her. Madelynne handed Edin over to her carefully.
“UUWWAAA!!!SO CUTE!” said the Dog eared girl
“Stepmother may I hold him?” asked Herbert
“Sure.”
“Lilith hand him over,”
“No,”
“Hey he’s my brother your just the daughter of the staff,”
Lilith sighed and passed Edin over to Herbert.
“Hello little brother I’m your reliable older brother Herbert.”
The days of slothfulness passed very quickly.
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Original Post
Spoiler :
So in my mind I've written a trilogy But actually writing it down is easier said then done. I'm also having trouble developing the lore of this still unnamed world I've created.I have a general idea but i just need to get the details.Im also having trouble with dialogue.Also reviews are welcomed so are the i like your story comments are greatly appreciated
So without further delays heres chapter 1
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter 1:Hell
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It’s dark. Am I alive and in a coma? I HAVE TO TRY AND OPEN MY EYES! Seems it’s not that easy. So this is what it feels like to be in a coma. I can’t believe I’m alive. I’m either the luckiest or unluckiest SOB right now. Worst case scenario I’m a vegetable for the rest of my life.
Now that I notice am I covered in blood or something? Don’t tell me I’m not even in the hospital yet. Perhaps this is the afterlife.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was that a woman’s scream just now? Don’t tell me my room is near the maternity ward.
A few hours later
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god this must be hell. I've been here for weeks maybe months. Was I really that bad God? Those are the screams of someone being tortured. Am I next? I’m being pushed! Is that a light? Oh no I’m being pushed towards the light!
UUUUUUWWWWAAAAAA!!!!!!!
I start crying uncontrollably. I don’t want to go to hell!!!!!!
“It’s a healthy baby girl!”
Dafuq!?
“Oh no wait it’s a boy!?”
That’s what I thought.
“Oh give him here.”
“Let me wipe him clean first m’lady.”
WTF is going on? I haven’t stopped crying. Then the midwife gives me over to the woman on the bed.
“shhhh hush hush my baby.”
Ah what’s this calming voice? I stop weeping and open my eyes. Holding me in her arms is a young Caucasian woman with green eyes and pale blond hair.
“Daddy wants to call you Thomas Jackson but that worthless father isn't here so your names gonna be Edin Drake Dragkagua Freestone.”
Um what? Now that I’m thinking straight did she say father and she must be my mother? So according to these facts I’M A BABY! OH my god this means I've been reincarnated. Was there a glitch in the system that allowed me to retain my memories?
“I’ll take the young master so that you can rest m’lady.”
“Very well”
Young master? Could it be I’m the heir to a noble house?
“Your brothers will be delighted to meet you.” Said the midwife
Brothers? As in more than one; well so much for being the heir.
I grew tired and drifted off to sleep.
When I woke up my eyes landed upon a light brown haired little girl. I found myself curious because this little girl had dog ears. Could this be a world of sword and magic?
“UUWWAAA!!!SO CUTE!”
Take a picture it’ll last longer
“Miss the baby’s awake!”
“Lilith hand him over here to me.”
“Yes miss.”
“Stepmother may I hold him?” says a boy with dark unruly brown hair
“Sure.”
“Hello little brother I’m your reliable older brother Herbert.” says the boy.
“I wonder what type of man my little eddy will grow up to be.” Says mother
“As long as he’s not a pervert like Bert.” says Lilith
“Who’s a pervert!?”Says my brother Herbert
“YOU ARE! Always looking at older girls with your stupid face.”
“Don’t be jealous lily I’m not interested in little girls.” says Herbert
“But your only five years old!” Screams Lilith
“Grandfather has taught me the joys of an adult woman.” says Herbert
Ugh!That's not something a five year old should be saying.
“Ha even ed is disgusted with you.”
“What is that pervert of a grandfather teaching you?” Mutters my mother
“Do not worry little brother one day well go to a brothel together and pop the cherries that grandfather speaks of!”
That doesn't sound half bad
“Let go of him, your corrupting him!” screams Lilith
Lilith grabs me and attempts to wrestle me away from my brother however in the heat of the scuffle im dropped on my head
“UUUUWWWAAA!!!!!!”
“BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF HERE!” Screams Edin’s mother
Both Children scream “WERE SORRY!!!!!!”
“Efthys provide me your divine light to heal the wounds of men.”
Edin is enveloped in a bright light and ceases his crying. Edin falls asleep in his mothers embrace.
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